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UNDER THE MICROSCOPE - 4/20 WWE Raw: New Kids on the Raw Block, Electric Chair banned in the U.K., and Clark W. Griswold in one column (w/VIDEO)
Apr 21, 2009 - 11:46:08 AM
Thank you for joining me as we put Raw "Under The Microscope." For new readers, this is not a complete recap of the show. This is a closer look at the broadcast, from what was heard to what was seen and anything that crosses my mind during the broadcast. We could go back into wrestling history or we could go in a completely random direction which has nothing to do with the business. I will be serious when needed, but in most cases, let's just have some fun.
How can we miss you when you won't go away?
I'm not as bothered as some about Smackdown wrestlers on Raw and Raw wrestlers on ECW, etc., although I certainly would enjoy a decisive brand split. Monday night certainly had a Friday night feel as Chris Jericho, C.M. Punk, Kane, Melina, and Rey Mysterio all competed despite being drafted to Smackdown last week. I did appreciate several attempts to explain the mix, including Jericho insisting that it was his "last and final appearance on Raw forever." An emphatic, if not redundant, explanation of his presence on the show, plus Michael Cole reminded us that the draft would take full effect next Monday after Backlash.
As for the new kids on the block, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH. OH, OH, OH, OH. OH, OH, OH, OH, OH. The right stuff.
Sorry. As for the new kids on the Raw block, the Raw video intro featured Triple H, MVP, Matt Hardy, Maryse, Big Show, Mr. Kennedy, and The Miz. Several of the choices are obvious, with Triple H, MVP, and Maryse all bringing titles to Monday night and Matt Hardy and Big Show have been in the championship mix during the past year. Putting Mr. Kennedy in the opening montage shows confidence that he will eventually return from his chronic shoulder injury which has kept him on the shelf since last August. Seeing The Miz also gives the appearance that WWE sees him having value away from his former tag team partner John Morrison.
After a tag team splits, one partner can suddenly explode into singles success, while the other struggles to find a solid identity. Shawn Michaels left The Rockers and became Mr. WrestleMania. Marty Jannetty struggled and eventually formed the New Rockers with Leif Cassidy, better known to most as Al Snow. Bret Hart left The Hart Foundation to become WWF Champion and partner Jim Neidhart never really found a suitable role and formed The New Foundation with Bret's brother, Owen. Other examples are certainly welcome.
Ode to the unibrow
Santino Marella continues to play double duty as himself and his equally attractive twin sister Santina. On Monday he took the time to share a poem celebrating the Marella good looks and insisted that the twins were born in 1985. Actually, he was born in 1979 and although Santina proclaimed that Italy was the greatest country, Santino - or Anthony Carelli, if you prefer - was born in Ontario, Canada.
Also, Microscope reader Gerardo Rodriguez took the time to write to me and share that Santina's music is the same entrance song once used by Billy and Chuck. The title of the song is "You Look So Good To Me."
'til death do us part
During the Chris Jericho match with John Cena, both men had plenty of chances to showcase a full compliment of moves, including an Electric Chair out of the corner. This is an interesting choice of moves for a match in London, considering that capital punishment has been banished in the United Kingdom.
The abolishment happened during a series of moves, including The Armed Forces Act in 1981 abolished the death penalty for espionage. A House of Lords amendment to the Crime and Disorder Act of 1998 took away the death penalty for treason and piracy. The 6th Protocol of the European Convention on Human Rights prohibited capital punishment except in time of war or imminent threat of war. In 2003, the UK agreed to the 13th Protocol which prohibits the death penalty under all circumstances.
One of the most famous names to be executed in the United Kingdom was William Wallace in 1305. The Scottish resistance fighter was hanged and drawn and quartered for treason. He was portrayed by Mel Gibson in the movie "Braveheart." He also played Detective Martin Riggs in "Lethal Weapon." In the first installment of that movie series, he was captured and faced the possibility of electrocution before narrowly escaping. "Lethal Weapon" ended up in four parts...just like William Wallace.
Even if England had legalized capital punishment, it's unlikely that they would use the electric chair as the device was developed and mostly used in the United States.
Yes sir, Mr. Green
The sign of the night apparently belongs to James Green or a friend of his. "James Green 3:16 Says Get Me More Beer."
I'm not sure what Mr. Green wants, but traditionally, English beer falls into several categories; Bitter, Brown Ale, Mild Ale, Old Ale, and Stout. My step-father is from England, so I'll defer to him. He prefers Boddington's.
It takes two
The other sign which caught my eye asked the pressing question, "Randy Did You Get Tango'd?"
If you were at the arena, you probably already know this, but for someone watching in the states, you may not have known that Tango is a carbonated drink sold in the UK and Ireland and comes in apple, cherry, and fruit fling. The drink has used several catchphrases, including "You need it because you are weak" and "Feed the Tango inside." Likely the most famous involves "You know when you've been Tango'd" and characters on the commercials would slap each other.
Another advertisement, specifically for one certain flavor, brought us the line "Kiss my big juicy apples," which would tie in nicely to WWE programming considering that Mr. McMahon has frequently mentioned his "grapefruits" and also was the founder of the "Kiss My Ass Club." I don't think it would take too much work to have a natural product tie-in.
Finally
If you weren't paying close attention as the show came back from a commercial, you may have missed a quick reference to the London skyline as Jerry Lawler quipped, "Look kids, Big Ben."
"There it is, kids, my motherland."
"Dad, Grandma's from Chicago. "
"Shut up, Russ"
Lee Stevens examines Raw and Smackdown with "Under The Microscope." You can e-mail him at GLStevens.Torch@gmail.com or leave comments for him below. Send feedback on this article to pwtorch@gmail.com and we'll regularly publish reader feedback in the "Torch Feedback" category on the Main Listing.
