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The Specialists
UNDER THE MICROSCOPE - 1/2 WWE Smackdown: Triple H selling eBay pics, Not-so-hot history of Smackdown GMs, Paging Boris Zhukov
Jan 5, 2009 - 1:17:30 AM


By Lee Stevens, PWTorch Specialist

Thank you for joining me again as we put Smackdown "Under The Microscope." If you're a new reader, this is not a complete recap. This is a closer look at Smackdown, including random references, mistakes, or anything that catches my eye or my ear during the broadcast. Some information may make sense, some may not. Some information may be new to you, some may not. Make sure you know your eBay password and let's take a closer look as we put Smackdown "Under The Microscope."

Auction ends in 3 minutes

No word yet on how much additional traffic Triple H provided eBay by insisting that naked photos of Vickie Guerrero were available. He also kindly gave plugs to Baskin-Robbins and Blimpie's during the same segment. Triple H was obviously making more jokes about Guerrero's weight by insisting that the audience would follow her to these food establishments, but if you visit the official Baskin-Robbins website, you will see that they have several "lighter" choices, including real fruit sorbet, premium churned light raspberry chip ice cream, and new premium churned reduced-fat no sugar added butter almond crunch ice cream. With a name that long, there's a good chance you could actually lose weight by the time you're finished ordering it.

For the record, the chain was established by Burt Baskin and Irv Robbins in 1945 and although they're famous for their 31 flavors, the first Baskin-Robbins store featured 21 flavors.

As for America's Sub Shop, Blimpie's, they also offer lighter fare including salads. The first Blimpie's opened in Hoboken, New Jersey in 1964. It's the third largest sandwich chain in the U.S., behind Subway and Quiznos.

Of course, you can get as many toppings as you like at any of the locations, or in honor of Vickie Guerrero's alleged photographs, you can choose all meat with nothing on it.

How did this position become available?

Triple H warned Guerrero that if someone from Smackdown didn't win at the Royal Rumble, "You'll be fired and fall into obscurity." Judging from the past history of Smackdown G.M.'s, she would probably still do well. Stephanie McMahon's obscurity took her to Monday nights and Theodore Long's obscurity can be seen on Tuesday. In the WWE Universe, two other G.M.'s haven't fared as well, with Paul Heyman and Kurt Angle both disappearing. Obviously, Angle is doing quite well in TNA and Heyman has been enjoying success with The Sun, a newspaper in the U.K., where he hosts "The Heyman Hustle."

Odd

Jim Ross celebrated the obvious by noting the unlikely pairing of Finlay and The Great Khali by referring to them as "The Odd Couple." The Odd Couple was originally a play by Neil Simon, then a film starring Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon. Later, it was adapted to a TV show starring Jack Klugman and Tony Randall and several less successful incarnations followed. Felix Unger was the painfully neat character, while Oscar Madison is a slob. J.R. called them Felix Finlay and Oscar Khali, but the Great Khali seems to take good care of himself, so perhaps he would be better served as Felix.

He also called them corned beef and curry referring to the foods associated with their countries. Certain music fans probably recognized this phrase as quite familiar since there is a popular band out of Pittsburgh with the same name. The Corned Beef & Curry Band features an Irish lead singer, an Indian drummer and a third member who actually plays the washboard. No word on whether one of them really likes to fight. I can only find out so much in a given week.

Thank you Jim Ross

I enjoy a good pop culture reference as much as the next person, but I also appreciate a sentence that makes the average fan get a puzzled look and quickly search for more information. When describing a European uppercut from Finlay, Ross insisted that it was "shades of Billy Robinson."

If you already know, congratulations, you have earned your wrestling history merit badge. If you don't know, Billy Robinson was a British wrestler who enjoyed success in Europe, Japan, and the U.S. and was known as a "shooter." He was the British National Wrestling Champion, held titles in All Japan Pro Wrestling and in Australia. He was also featured in the movie "The Wrestler" starring Verne Gagne and Ed Asner, a 1974 movie which should not be confused with the current movie starring Mickey Rourke.

The 2008 movie has a better plot, but the 1974 version has Dick The Bruiser, The Crusher, Wahoo McDaniel, among other wrestling co-stars, including Vince McMahon, Sr. I know I'm leaving out other names you would recognize, but this is all you need to know about the movie-Ed Asner is in it.

Back to Robinson, he was inducted into the International Wrestling Hall of Fame in 2003. Ed Asner was not present at the induction.

I was sure he was going to say Boris Zhukov

Ross also went into the memory bank during Vladimir Kozlov's match, comparing him to one of the greatest Russian wrestlers of all-time. Before I had a chance to debate the merits of the Koloff's, he dropped the name Alexander Karelin. Just like Ivan Koloff, he was nicknamed the "Russian Bear," but unlike the Koloff, he won gold medals in the 1988, 1992, and 1996 Summer Olympics. He was undefeated in International Competition from 1987-2000 until American Rulon Gardner defeated him in Sydney, Australia. Incredibly, during the final six years of his streak, he didn't surrender a point to his opponents.

Didn't you used to be Tazz?

I am curious as to how many new fans were stunned to hear that their Smackdown announcer used to be a title holder. Ross reminded viewers that Matt Hardy is holding the same title Tazz once held. I recognize the accomplishments of the Human Suplex Machine, but I can't remember the last time his in-ring performance was even mentioned. Even Jerry Lawler steps into the ring from time to time or at least confronts someone at the broadcast table, but Tazz has rarely been physical with anyone since joining the broadcast ranks. For the record, he held the ECW Heavyweight Championship, the TV Title, the Tag belts, and the FTW Heavyweight Championship.

Hardy_paint.jpg
Nice look Jeff

If you thought you recognized Jeff Hardy's paint pattern this week, you weren't the only one.

WrestleMania VI

We were reminded of Edge's dedication to wrestling with the memory of him attending WrestleMania VI in Toronto. Ironically, two of the wrestlers who competed in that pay-per-view are still active. Shawn Michaels wrestled with Marty Jannetty as they lost to Sato and Tanaka, The Orient Express. Jim Duggan defeated Dino Bravo that night in the first WrestleMania to occur outside of the United States.

Four wrestlers on the card that night have offspring currently in the ring. Jim Neidhart wrestled with Bret Hart as they beat The Bolsheviks (the second Boris Zhukov reference--YES!). His daughter Natalya is an active diva. Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire beat Randy Savage and Sensational Queen Sherri. Of course, Cody and Dustin are both on Raw. Ted DiBiase beat Jake Roberts, and if the movie ever wraps, we should see Ted Jr. back on Raw. Rick Rude defeated Jimmy Snuka and we just recently saw Snuka's son carry on his family name with The Legacy.

Lee Stevens goes "Under The Microscope" with Smackdown and Raw. You can leave comments for him below or e-mail him at GLStevens.Torch@gmail.com.

Comment on this Article Below

(CLICK FOR COMMENTS RULES OR TO REPORT ABUSE)

curtis setter
05 Jan 2009, 03:12
jim ross is still one of the best play-by-play men in wrestling today. the references prove it.
Jason
05 Jan 2009, 06:15
Don't get me wrong, J.R. is the best, but I can't help but think that he may be noticing how well Matt Stryker is doing and perhaps taking a page from his (admittedly short, to this point) book.

I love the references and have had to hit OWW or Wikipedia a few times to figure some of them out.
stonecoldmark
05 Jan 2009, 12:50
I only wish wrestling could be taken seriously, so the guys that sell the illusion get their due.

There is nobody better for calling the big matches that J.R. He must have witnessed close to a million matches by now, and he calls these things like no other when it comes to the big ones. I for one will be elated to hear JR on the mic when Jeff Hardy gets the biggest win of his career at WrestleMania 25 later this year.

JR sold Hogan, The Rock, Austin, DX, and Mic Foley and when you hear him call any one of their matches that would be considered important JR was always there to help the fans believe.

JR has passion sometimes when the performers don't he makes what happenes in the ring seem exciting.

JR Rules!
-Stonecoldmark
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