By Dominick Mayer, PWTorch contributor

ECW on Sci-Fi TV alt. perspective report
October 28, 2008
Report by Dominick Mayer, PWTorch contributor

The show starts with Teddy Long doing the worst Ron Burgundy impression ever. He plugs the Dirt Sheet with them harassing DX and a six-man tag featuring Bourne, Finlay, and Hardy vs. Henry, Chavo, and Bam. The inevitable teleprompter gag goes down, courtesy of Hornswoggle. Also, I'm watching tonight's show with two ex-WWE fans. Their impression of Hornswoggle was that of fear and confusion, mixed with ironic amusement.

Title sequence.

In the arena, Evan Bourne is on his way out, so I guess we're starting with the six-man tag. Hardy is out next, and he shakes Bourne's hand as Striker recaps the Cyber Sunday match. Finlay is out next, followed by Chavo, Bam and then Henry for the heel team.

1. EVAN BOURNE & ECW champion MATT HARDY & FINLAY (w/Hornswoggle) vs. CHAVO GUERRERO & BAM NEELY & MARK HENRY (w/Tony Atlas)

Chavo and Bourne start the match off. Why is Bam in this match? Anyway, Bourne with a nice head scissors takedowns, followed by his signature arm drags. Finlay tags in and immediately grounds Chavo. Chavo tags Bam in, who continues to take punishment. Bourne comes back in and nails Bam with some stiff kicks. Bourne hits a gorgeous springboard spinning heel kick to the outside, but clutches his foot afterwards. I really hope that's just a sell. Anyway, Bourne re-enters the ring, Hardy and Finlay back him up, and there's a stare down that takes us into the break.

[Commercial Break]

Out of break, Mark Henry is jumping onto Evan Bourne's leg. The heels hold him down in the corner. Bourne momentarily takes Chavo down with a big dropkick, but fails to capitalize. Bourne finally gets the hot tag to Hardy at 12:00 and hits all his mid-match offensive moves on Chavo. Hardy with a side effect for two, before Bam breaks the pin up, hitting Chavo in the process.

[Q2]

The action then breaks down, as Hardy gives Bam a Twist of Fate, but gets attacked by Mark Henry. Hornswoggle goes after Henry, distracting the referee long enough for a shillelagh shot from Finlay. Finlay gets pulled outside by Tony Atlas, who then gets jumped by Hornswoggle. In the midst of the chaos, Hardy is down on the mat, the only one in the ring. Chavo goes up top, and when Hardy tries to take him down, Chavo sends him to the mat long enough to hit a frog splash for the clean pin.

WINNERS: Chavo, Bam, and Henry in 15:00. Great six-man tag to capitalize on Bourne's great match last night and Hardy's win at Cyber Sunday. Interesting rub for Chavo, though; I'm really hoping that a Chavo-Hardy feud is not in the works. Unless, of course, this is the beginning of a build to the point where I'll be able to write the words "ECW champion Evan Bourne."

After the match, Finlay and Bourne check on Hardy as the heels celebrate.

[Commercial Break]

The John Cena video from Raw last night aired.

A recap runs on Jack Swagger's comments against Tommy Dreamer last week. Backstage, Dreamer informs Lena that tonight is the 19-year anniversary of the start of his career. His legacy has never been about wins or losses, but the fight. Well, I agree with the first part, at least recently. However, as enhancement talent goes, Dreamer is arguably the very best, as he lends instant credibility to any upstart he feuds with, and he's perfectly coupled with a guy who's as natural a heel as Swagger.

[Commercial Break]

[Q3]

Dreamer comes out to an unsettlingly mediocre pop. Every year, he's trying to appeal to a smaller and smaller group of people who remember the original ECW. Also, he's wearing the designated jobber shirt, so I'm feeling a good mini-feud blow-off tonight. Swagger is out next, smiling as always.

2. TOMMY DREAMER vs. JACK SWAGGER

Slow back-and-forth action early on, until they head outside at 3:00. Dreamer tries to whip Swagger into the steps, but Swagger takes that momentum and runs back into the ring. That's a good move, actually; I've always been curious as to why people don't do that more often. Anyway, we're cutting to a break, so this one is getting some time. Swagger has to be going over.

[Commercial Break]

Out of break, Swagger has Dreamer in a headlock. Swagger hits Dreamer with a hard slam for two. I don't know what to make of Swagger just yet; he wrestles a big man style, but he's not quite big enough. Dreamer hits a bulldog for two, and then a flying lariat, but instead of covering, he goes up top. Swagger tries to take him down, but Dreamer hangs his arm over the top rope. A DDT attempt by Dreamer gets countered into a Northern Lights suplex for two. Dreamer rolls Swagger up for two, but then Swagger gets the gut wrench powerbomb for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Swagger in 11:00. Decent enough to continue Swagger's push, but a slow overall match. I know a lot of people like Swagger, but I'm just not sold yet.

[Q4]

Dreamer sells the injury as Swagger continues smiling. Next up: Morrison and Miz on DX.

[Commercial Break]

The Dirt Sheet intro airs, and the red ring carpet has been set up. Morrison and Miz are in center ring. Morrison's abs are definitely still bedazzled. That's just terrible. Tonight, the Dirt Sheet will be taking a "balanced" look at DX. Morrison and Miz point out that both of them were still in high school when DX first formed. God, that's weird to think about; I was in the third grade. They roll a tape of Michaels, pointing out his old-school mullet and chaps. Then, there's Triple H and his inadequacies with his sledgehammer. This message was sponsored by the people at the Palace of Wisdom. Okay, that's hysterical. This is the best of these live Dirt Sheet bits to date. Next is the inevitable appearance of the DX impersonators, complete with huge rubber nose and glow sticks.

Miz: "Before we start, do you have any childish humor or catchphrases for us?" Morrison then says that the Dirt Sheet isn't about tired humor or fart jokes. I know this is supposed to be a heel promo, but they have a lot of really valid points. Frankly, I'm surprised WWE is allowing them to go this far in upsetting the almighty Triple H. This can only mean that Morrison and Miz are getting squashed Monday. They destroy the impersonators, and they end with "Be jealous." Another great promo from Morrison and Miz, and it just makes you wish they were actually pushed like they should be.

We suggest these recent related articles...

10/5 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Natalya vs. Paige, Owens vs. Cara, Stephanie McMahon, Sasha Banks, Xavier Woods

COLLECTIBLES COLUMN: The History of Foam Hands in Pro Wrestling

9/28 WWE Raw Hits & Misses: Kane's Split Personality, Divas Revolution, Heyman & Big Show, Reigns vs. Wyatt