By Lee Stevens, PWTorch Specialist

Under The Microscope is a chance to take a closer look at Raw. Under The Bed is where you hide things. Let's take a closer look at Raw, I'll allow you to take care of the rest on your own.

Homecoming Weekend Is Away This Year

Opening with a Divas tag team match is an interesting change, however I can't help but feel that something is missing. Kelly Kelly is announced as hailing from Jacksonville, while Candice Michelle is billed as coming from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Their opponents? No such background. Jillian Hall and Katie Lea are introduced as their opponents, but no hometowns for this duo. For the record, Hall is from Ashland, Kentucky and Lea is from Germany.

Hello, My Name Is Insert Name Here

Clipboard
Pronunciation: \ˈklip-ˌbȯrd\ noun
1 : a small writing board with a clip at the top for holding papers
2 : a section of computer memory that temporarily stores data (as text or a graphics image) especially to facilitate its movement or duplication
3: an object held in the hands of a completely overwhelmed person who constantly loses their place on live TV
I know I usually take a closer look at things you might have missed and I'm sure you didn't miss Adamle totally freezing in front of millions of people, but if he forgot he had a clipboard, perhaps you missed it too.

Stevens Shoots--He Scores!!

Last week, I suggested possible options for Charlie Haas.

"Stone Cold Steve Haas-tin could tie in to Cyber Sunday..." Every so often, the microscope sees all. Pick a number between 1 and 10. Was it 7? Sweet.

My other two suggestions from last week were Ted DiBi-Haas-e and The Big Haas Man. Time will tell.

If you were paying attention, you heard the announcers comment on JBL probably firing last week's driver. This was a small detail, but good continuity from last week when JBL was angry at his limo driver for parking his vehicle too close to the audience.

More Snitsky, Please

Snitsky is an incredibly odd choice to give more speaking time, but I like the idea of a comment before a match. His comment was quite odd as he talked about his "Bittersweet Symphony". I'm sure they weren't going for this effect, but I could only think of the song of the same title throughout his match. I don't think it was what the WWE would want and it certainly wasn't what The Verve would want.

As for his match against Rey Mysterio, I was thrilled to see the opening sequence. Rey gets tossed into the ropes and it appears he's going to fall victim to a sidewalk slam. He spins out of it and flips over his opponent with a hurricanrana-type move. Just as I was going to comment on being bored with the same sequence, Snitsky stopped Rey's momentum and maintained control. A small deviation, but if we're going to see the same wrestlers week after week, it's going to take moments of variation to keep the microscope interested.

John Cena Is In My Extended Network

The celebrities saying nice things about John Cena this week include Snoop, Carl Edwards, Gabrielle Reece, Renny Harlin, The Jonas Brothers (hardcore), Sara Jean Underwood, Tony Hawk, Jerry Ferrara, Ben Stiller, Robert Patrick, Bobby Lee, Kelly Carlson, Kasey Kahne and Marc Ecko. Of all of them, Ecko was featured the most. I'm quite unbiased when it comes to Cena, but if you build up a wrestlers comeback by using the words of a fashion designer, you've clearly given up trying to convert the Cena-bashers. Either that, or get ready for the heel turn. Or, Ecko is designing Cena's new jersey.

Maybe Homecoming Is At Home

I am a huge supporter of the legends. I don't feel that the WWE does nearly enough to recognize the history of the sport. With that in mind, here is a list of former greats mentioned on the show; The Freebirds and Legion of Doom from The Miz and John Morrison, then Chris Jericho drops the names of Buddy Rogers, Harley Race, Hulk Hogan and Bret Hart. Steve Austin was imitated, featured in promos for Cyber Sunday and Wrestlemania and his catch phrase was chanted by the crowd. Santino added Roddy Piper, Goldust and Honkytonk Man and Jim Duggan added Jim Duggan. None of them make me want to buy the pay-per-view. I realize that several are involved in the stipulations, but none of them have any personal business at stake dramatic enough to make me spend my money. I enjoy the references to names not often mentioned, such as Rogers and Race, but this close to the pay-per-view should be less of a history lesson and more about current events.

Black Hair? Check. Goldust? Check. Red Blood? Check.

The guitar shot to the head from Santino to Duggan brought back great memories of The Honkytonk Man, but I don't remember HTM coming out on the losing end of the battle when he had the guitar in his hands. If you slow your DVR, VCR, beta tape recorder, you will see that as soon as the guitar shatters, a large piece catches Santino in the mouth. It made for a powerful visual as the segment ended, but it didn't fit with what was supposed to be accomplished. That seemed to be the theme for the evening.

Now, We Celebrate The Celebration

If you remembered already recognizing the 800th episode of Raw, you aren't the only one. We passed the 800 mark several weeks ago, but in two weeks we will be celebrating the record-breaking aspect of the accomplishment. If that show goes well, hopefully we will celebrate the celebratory aspect of the celebration episode. I'm not sure how we could do it. Perhaps a celebration.

Confused?

Everyone seemed a bit off tonight, especially with "The Adamle Original" Gauntlet Match. Adamle stumbled over lines, missed his cue and stopped abruptly. Perhaps he thought it was "Gauntlet" in the fashion of the MTV reality show featuring past Real World and Road Rules contestants. The Miz would have been a perfect fit for it. Or, it was "Gauntlet" in the style of the old school arcade game. In that case, Blue Warrior, your life force is running out.

Lee Stevens takes a closer look at Raw every Monday, reviews Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling every Saturday and takes out the trash every Wednesday. Depending on the week, sometimes Wednesday is more enjoyable.

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