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By Shane McKinley, PWTorch Specialist

Bound For Glory Is A Good Example Of How Sometimes Too Much Storyline Bits Can Be Counter-Productive
 
Before Impact I watched a Bound For Glory preview, and it was odd. I suppose "this PPV is huge" bit works for people who do not follow TNA regularly, but for TNA fans we know that for the past three months TNA has been stinking up the joint in both their televised shows and their PPVs. AJ Styles telling fans that "this is where we put it all on the line". I would like to think that wrestlers try hard every PPV, but that is just not the case. Kevin Nash telling fans that "the main event is worth the price of admission alone". $30 to watch Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett? Or Sting vs. Joe? Uh, no. Just because you have more elements into a storyline does not necessarily make it bigger or better. In fact, it can complicate things and make the storyline even worse.
 
Impact started off with Jeff Jarrett using that tired line of "it has nothing to do with business, it is all personal". It is just too bad that your feud with Angle is seriously lacking in credible heat. Ugh. Hey, Jeff has the mysterious Angle Gold medal that was talked about for a month but was never shown! Whoa. The announcers hype up that it is now the young guys versus the veterans. Hmm.
 
Mike Tenay lies and tells fans that "it has been so intriguing to watch Cage choose a side!" Wha? Cage talking about how there has been all of this talk about how he needs to choose a side? Maybe just from the writers, but nobody really gives a hoot about which side Cage chooses. Fans need not apply here. Cage basically comes out and says that he will drag this thing out because the angle itself is so numbingly boring.
 
Booker then comes out with the "Briefcase of Mystery" (more on that later). Tenay also points out that what accent will Booker use tonight. This is actually refreshing, as at least somebody in TNA land knows that this whole accent thing with Booker is ridiculous and comedy hour. It is embarrassing to watch. They will not do anything about it, but at least they recognize the absurdity of the accent. AJ Styles then comes out and then all three men proceed to rant and rave about nothing. What the hell? Oh no. Will Cage lose his spotlight to Styles? Zzzzz. Only thing to note during this snooze fest is that Styles called Booker a "washed up, has been". Even if JBL is, WWE is smarter to know that it is never sound to make a top talent look weak. Just surprising that there was no plan at all. Everybody rants and raves until Cornette shows up (which Tenay informs us that this section will get "interesting"). Cornette in his infinite wisdom makes Cage the special guest ref in Styles vs. Booker. Does it seem like both WWE and TNA are getting carried away with all of this "special ref" nonsense? October is the month for special guest refs. Why should fans care what side Cage is on? And why in good gravy is TNA dragging this thing out?
 
Championships In TNA Are As Important As Corndogs
 
Downright stupidity to have Sting not care about the championship belt. No, the bigger issue is about respect. Is Sting's legacy more important than the world title? According to TNA it is. But it feels in large part that Sting and Joe are just pawns to this young guy/veteran storyline (more on that later in the article). Sure, I like Sting. But when TNA does all of these promos and video packages making Sting's reputation as such a big deal, it just does not fly with me. What also does not fly with me is the camera shot of the Sears Centre in Chicago where BFG will be held. Good idea in theory, but shooting an ugly building in the dead of night for your big-time PPV does not work. Or shooting a billboard promoting the PPV that is apparently beside the Oscar Wholesale Distributor building. Also in the dead of night.
 
Pushing What Should Not Be Pushed (Cute Kip), Yet Another TNA Man-On-Woman Violence In PPV
 
What a nice shirt Angelina Love (or Velvet Sky, I sometimes mix them up) was wearing: "OMG STFU". Apparently now Cute Kip is this big badass. In a logical world nobody would push Cute Kip after the glorious suckitude that was his cage match with B.G. James. This man wrestles like he was shot full of elephant tranquillers. Big moment of the match was when Kip went to go put the paper bag over Rhino's head. Oh no! The Paper Bag Of Pain! Hey, need that bag so that I can throw up. To end this, Kip gets the win after goring Rhino through a table. And because Kip is such a badass not even two accomplished women wrestlers (ODB and Rhaka Khan) are apparently no match for Kip. No women coming down could threaten Kip. Not even Awesome Kong herself. Kip only retreated because they had chairs. I know this because Don West pointed this out. Not even the absurd comment later by Angle that "Jeff uses his brain like how I do my anklelock" took away this bad feeling in my stomach.
 
Later in the show Rhino makes a big deal that he will "gore the whore" through a table. I guess he means The Beautiful People. They did the exact same thing with Christy Hemme last PPV. Promised that she would get hers. This is trash.
 
The X Division And Why Apparently Characters Are More Important Than Wrestling Ability
 
Sonjay Dutt gives me the creeps. He reminds me a lot like Rick Roode, where I am positive the man is on something. Guess Jay Lethal is back to run with "the puppies" instead of the "big dogs". We are just now hyping up an opponent for Bashir? Oh man, from all of the hype the ref Shane was getting, I was sure that it was going to be Bashir vs. a ref in an "American flag pole match!" Just idiotic. Don West hyped up the match, because you see it is very hard to become #1 contender for such a prestigious title like the X Division championship. These men will do whatever it takes to win.
 
Gee, Eric Young and Jimmy Rave, who are either constantly losing or not being on television, were in an X Division Championship match last week. TNA cannot keep executing in this manner. Watching wrestling is sort of akin to watching a soap opera. There has to be logical progression from week to week. Not only that, but I do not know why a ref was hyped up for the past month instead of Bashir's opponent. It just boggles the mind.
 
Despite this, this X division match was pretty good. The announcers actually called the match, and I really enjoyed it. Finally a good, solid match. But seriously. Consequences Creed versus Bashir for the X division championship at BFG. Why did a rookie apparently get the nod over two accomplished guys like Petey Williams and Sonjay Dutt? Because his "pro-America" character will surely clash with the "hate America" Bashir. It just feels tacked on. They could pull out a great match, but fans have no idea what is happening with the X division. One can also not hide from the fact that fans have not seen enough of Creed wrestling. Bashir after the match had another one of his great promos. You know. The lethal injection of the American dream. Apparently Bashir was a good man until something tragic happened that took all of his loved ones. Or something. The thing is that TNA shows me nothing about his character. Bashir can deliver the lines fine, but the lines themselves are terrible.
 
Brother Ray Makes BFG A Big Deal
 
Nice touch with Mongo McMichael being the special guest enforcer for the Monster's Ball. Ties in with Chicago. The big deal out of Beer Money facing off Abyss-Morgan was Team 3D announcing, especially Brother Ray. Ray did a nice job of hyping up the other teams. He made a joke about the playing days of Mongo and how he would not select him for his first team in fantasy football. Hey, TNA mentions the outside world! Overall, Ray did a great job here in calling the match (sadly, even better and more entertaining than the scripted Tenay and West). Laughed when Ray said that in their PPV match people could use "TLC, barbwire, your mother". It is going to get a little hot in Chicago? Damn Ray, I just might buy the PPV to see the match. When Morgan did an impressive flying cross body, Ray hyped it up as huge. Ray could be a great announcer one day. He just has the knack for it. Another great match and it was effective, as for me Monster's Ball looks to be the strongest match of the card. Maybe I just like it because it is so simple and effective compared to the storyline mess that is Sting vs. Joe and to some degree Angle vs. Jarrett.
 
The Very Personal And Lukewarm Angle and Jarrett Feud
 
Like Mick Foley, but maybe perhaps due to the editing I had no idea what he was trying to say during Karen's Angle. The editor deserves an award for all of the quick shots that make watching a simple sit-down interview laughable. At the top of the hour, they ran a video package of Angle and Jarrett and I liked it. It looks professional and had good music. But in recapping this feud, there are flaws to point out that hampered this feud:
 
Angle mentioning the dead wife of Jarrett
Jarrett bringing up the stupid newspaper angle
"I will beat your ass so bad, not even papa Vince will take you back!"
The fact that this very intense feud is very intensely lukewarm
 
Hell, TNA could have gone with Angle wanting to jump ship to MMA. Highlights of the Foley-Angle-Jarrett bit is that Foley will not banned anyone from ringside, but he will deliver some hokey punches to whoever comes on down. Good to know that this putrid gold medal nonsense was just so that Double J can be the better man when he gave Angle back his medal. Oddly enough I liked this bit, as both men played it cool. I think if these guys played it up like they were over brimming with hate, nobody would have believed it. Angle makes a comment about Jarrett's family and apparently it was really awful and cheap. Even Don West let out with a "what a son of a bad word". Disgusting? Really? The buildup for BFG last year had Angle attacking Sting's son at a football game. Great stuff. But the main problem with this feud is that I do not love Jeff, and I cannot believe that I should hate Angle. You can still get huge heat on a guy without resorting to bad tactics shown in this feud.
 
The Knockout Division vs. The Bimbo Division
 
Apparently now there are two groups in the knockout divisions: the ones who are serious wrestlers and the other ones who are cartoon characters (The Beautiful People, ODB, Rhaka Khan). Was excited to see Kong vs. Roxxi vs. Taylor Wilde at the PPV, but now that I have seen their "tag team" match at Impact, it does not have the same allure to it. The match itself was pointless. Cool note about the match is that the announcers had a good tease for the Joe and Sting confrontation later on in the night (which later turned out to be a dud, but this was still a good tease).
 
TNA Serves Up A Plate Full Of Mediocrity (What's In The Briefcase!?!?!!!)
 
Apparently TNA thinks that being "rich" implies eating salads from McDonald's, having tacky decorations, and taking your shoes off while inside. All of these items are shown in Booker's locker room. Maybe I am just not getting it, but this whole Booker accent bit is like an inside joke that is not funny anymore. Sure Booker. You get airtime every week. But your bits are pointless! Thomas Jefferson, sucka! Booker does this African accent even though his hometown is announced as Houston, Texas. And then the announcers start to go into overdrive about that damn briefcase. I hate that briefcase.
 
When Kane earlier this year came out with his burlap sack, the announcers did not foam at the mouth wondering what was inside it. It was intriguing, but the future of the free world did not depend on what was inside of the burlap bag. Kane also carried around a burlap bag because his character had changed into becoming more psychotic. Booker started to carry around a briefcase just because he felt like it one day. You get the feeling that if wrestlers started to carry paper bags with them towards the ring, the TNA announcers would hype it up like no tomorrow. It is just cheap when storyline elements or bits are introduced in such an unbelievable fashion. It is not believable that suddenly Tenay and West would be so concerned about the contents of a friggin briefcase.
 
But was also cheap was the match between Styles and Booker. At least with Finlay vs. Mark Henry they will at least try to put out a good match, even though they knew that they were pretty much dead in the water to start. These guys look like they were sleepwalking here. Just plain boring. Styles puts on a headlock. Go to commercial. Stay tuned. More headlocks to come. Come back. Hype other things. Will Cage turn? Please, please stayed tuned. So anyways Cage does not say what side he is on or whatever and Cornette says that we did not settle anything. Guess you just suck as your job. Hey, how about a triple threat match with you three dudes? You are not doing anything. Heck, Mr. Cornette could be in this match. There was no plan aABSURDITYt all.
 
Tenay says that with the inclusion of this match BFG just got bigger. True, but TNA just got weaker. There is no real reason to care who wins this match. After this crappy match nobody is looking to see Styles and Booker again. And please, Cage. Please pick a side. Just pathetic how at times TNA will drag things out horribly to a PPV.
 
Two Pricks Named Joe And Sting Will Go At It
 
The big tease was that "there will be no rematch". Huh? That is what we have been waiting to hear? What? So anyways, a grumpy old dude and a hotheaded young punk will fight for respect. Gee, do you think at BFG both sides will learn to co-exist? Each of them learns a valuable life lesson in the ring? Dance together in the middle of the ring? If they were trying to make Joe the face they sure messed up.

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com.

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