By Shane McKinley, PWTorch Specialist

Matt Striker Is A Sick, Sick Man (And He Is Our New ECW Hero)

Matt Striker called Hornswoggle "a little turd." Last week he advised John Grisham that if he ran out of toilet paper, he should do a handstand in the shower. And when ECW cut away to Tiffany wearing a devil outfit, Striker let out a breathy "Oh God" like he was watching a porno. Matt Striker is a sick, sick man. And he is the main reason why Tuesday nights are fun again. What you get from Matt Striker is a real zeal, like he would not be anywhere else but announcing. He is supremely talented on the mic. When Striker brought up the fact that Mark Henry threw away Jamie Noble's candy bag (since ECW is apparently at the mercy of the SciFi network during the ridiculous 31 day of Halloween) even though Mark Henry was "hungry" for competition, it was just another example of how focused Striker is on the program. Heck, the announcing made watching the slow Mark Henry vs. Jamie Noble match worth watching. Compare this to the announcers of Raw and Impact, and at times it feels like they are only looking at the script.

His crush for Tiffany and his Stone Cold impression are more entertaining than the character of Ricky Ortiz. Although he does not really have the knack for pushing young talent like Mick Foley (he pushed everybody in the main event "young guy match" as the future of the WWE, even though there is a possibility that four of the eight guys will be forgotten in a year). John Grisham also let out a "the Jamaican getting high!" after Kofi did a high body splash. So wonderful in a stereotypical badness sort of way. You never know what you are going to get from Striker. So while he is not announcing by the book, his passion and the fact that he is entertaining might make him the best announcer in WWE to come down in the pipeline in quite some time. I never really understood why WWE brought in Jonathan Coachman and Mike Adalme to announce. Nice enough guys, but it was obvious that they could not match Striker in terms of working hard in announcing.

Swagger, Tiffany, Boogeyman, And The Future Of The WWE (We Think)

Rather like Jack Swagger. Pretty sad that his music is more catchy than Mick Foley's (or at very least, better produced). Music is a big part of wrestlers, since it is the first impression that fans get of a wrestler. There is something odd about Tiffany. I kind of like it that she is not portrayed as a total model bimbo who does not really belong in the wrestling world, but I can do without the underlying sexual tension between her and Jamie Noble (ugh) or Ricky Ortiz (ugh ugh). Who would want to touch Ortiz's white towel? Something dirty about that. Boogeyman is coming back to face JoMo? Speaking about JoMo, he punched a fan while swaggering towards the ring. He can do so because he has great abs. The announcers made a big deal out of these young guys. Only Evan Bourne and C.M. Punk were noticeable in the main event. Fans had to remind themselves that there were the Raw tag team champions in the match. Thought that you could have a Survivor Series match with these guys. You might add Santino with the "good guys" in order to face JoMizzy and the Second Generation (and Santino can betray them for good measure).

ECW'S FINAL VERDICT: In The Middle Of Absurdity

ECW is pretty solid nowadays. Nothing particularly outstanding, but nothing horrendously bad.

LEAVING YOU WITH MY ABSURD THOUGHT: There is nothing wrong with the TNA announcers themselves. I like Mike "The Professor" Tenay. Don West can be a bit overbearing at times, but these two guys work well together. What fans are harping on is the announcing style, which tends to go into "overkill" mode and is very hard to accept as "believable." For example I might be watching a match and be getting four other feuds/angles hyped up. And the fact that these guys are so scripted that they resemble robots instead of living human beings. But for whatever reason the head honchos are okay with, so changes will probably not be coming anytime soon (since this has been a persistent problem pretty much since they got a television deal).

My email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com.

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