By Lee Stevens, PWTorch Specialist

Before we take a closer look at Monday's Raw, I would like to thank everyone who has written in the past few weeks, including Arnold, Terrie and Dan. Readers like you are why this has quickly become the most popular column named after a piece of lab equipment written by someone with the last name Stevens about a show airing on Monday night. I have to be at least in the top 5, right? Seriously, thank you.

Just a reminder that this is not a full recap of the show. Wade and James do a wonderful job of recapping the show. Please look for their work on the main page. Please tell them I sent you.

Although this isn't a recap, let's start in a logical place. The start of the show.

Still counting

As Chris Jericho climbs the stairs to enter the ring, a fan is holding a sign behind him that reads "Hold #425-Arm bar". I can only assume it refers to Dean Malenko, who was referred to as "The man with 1,000 holds". For future reference, Mil Mascaras was known as "The man of 1,000 masks" and Rich Little was often called "The man of 1,000 voices". Wilt Chamberlin also had a title featuring the number 1,000, but they wouldn't let me hold up that sign.

Toothless in Seattle

Other signs stated more obvious opinions including "Jericho Sux" and "Suck it Jericho". After this week's dental work, I expect new versions of the same signs next week. "Jericho Sux food through the gap in his teeth". Jericho insisted he would be reminded of Shawn Michaels every time he looked in the mirror. Obviously, he didn't negotiate benefits during his last contact. Apparently his dental plan sux.

I can sign your vacation form...

When Jericho announced that he was in charge for the night, it was a pleasant surprise that he took care of an obvious question. If you're in charge, why not just take away Batista's #1 contender spot? Jericho admitted that he didn't have the power to take it away from him. Good attention to detail, but if you look closer, why didn't Jericho cost him the match any different number of ways? A quick 3 count even when his shoulders were up would work, or a random DQ for breathing too heavily would suffice. There's an old expression; Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Here's a new expression; partial power for the purposes of one night of television without careful thought in regards to small details makes the microscope miserable.

Okay, it's not as catchy as the old expression, I'll admit.

OKLAHOMA!

Santino can be very clever, but this week he resorts to one of the oldest ways to get the crowd to turn against you. Just make fun of the local (or in this case, former local) sports team. Seattle's loss is Oklahoma City's gain as Marella rejoices in the newest member of the NBA, The Thunder.

This isn't the first time Seattle has lost a franchise. The Seattle Pilots enjoyed one year in Washington before deciding that they preferred a warmer climate. They moved to Milwaukee.

Since we're discussing baseball, congratulations to the fan in the front row who was seen prominently in the Lance Cade/Shawn Michaels bout as well as the JBL/Batista match. The Houston Astros rainbow jersey frequently makes the list for the best jersey of all-time and the worst. Personally, it's one of my favorites. I was never a fan of the team, but J.R. Richard was a beast for a few years. Speaking of the past, JBL used to be an Acolyte and Batista came into the WWE as a Deacon. It seems fitting that the two should meet. If only Brother Love could have introduced them.

Lillian needs love

If anyone knows what Lillian Garcia did to anger the WWE writers, please let me know. When you see Lillian and the kiss-cam, you know bad things are just moments away. The last time I remember seeing her get any action, it was from Big Daddy V and she even got dumped by Viscera as he chose Godfather's Ho's over her. Now, she's smooching The Great Kahli. Mmmmm...Kahli-cious. If Bastion Booger or Playboy Buddy Rose ever steps through the WWE ropes again, you'll know it's a special "Love comes to Lillian-town" episode of Raw.

Sunday of the cybers

When Santino Marella started his "Honk-a-meter", you figured it was only a matter of time before The Honkytonk Man's name was mentioned as a possible opponent, but I didn't think it would be this soon. Santino has just passed 7 weeks, well short of HTM's record. His possible opponents at Cyber Sunday are; Roddy Piper, who held the title for 11 weeks, Goldust, who was the I-C champ for roughly 12 weeks and of course Mr. Tonk who holds the record at 64 weeks. Availability and a willingness to allow WWE to use their name was a big concern, but there are many other wrestlers who held the belt longer than Goldust and Piper, including Randy Savage, The Rock and Razor Ramon. Of course age is a factor with several others including Pat Patterson, Pedro Morales and Greg Valentine.

When you eliminate people based on age, unreliability (Warrior and Ramon) and sadly, death (Henning, Rude, Von Erich, Benoit), the three choices seem to make sense. The one I would be curious about is Ahmed Johnson. That might be worth the fee for texting. Maybe not.

But wait, there's more!

There are times when two announcers are too many. Three is more risky and four is just asking for trouble. When Cryme Tyme joined Miz and Morrison at the announcers table with Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole it sounded like Thanksgiving at my house when I announced that my grade point average from my freshman year at college were only slightly higher than a blood alcohol level (.25 for those of you scoring at home). All six people believed they had something to say and all six people decided to say it at the same time. Chaos. The only redeeming value to this was a quick reference to John Morrison's body jewelry. When Cryme Tyme dropped a "Bedazzler" on him, the segment became worthwhile. For those of you who aren't aware--The Bedazzler is one of the greatest late night infomercial products in recent memory. It allows you to decorate any piece of clothing with ease. Give your outfit the sequin action it deserves with The Bedazzler. If you call in the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in the Flobee for free along with the Ginsu knives. BUT WAIT--THERE'S MORE! For a limited time you'll also get the Garden Weasel. Sweeeeeeeeeeeet. However, the Sham-wow guy is creepy. Sorry.

Lee Stevens thanks you for reading and sharing your thoughts at GLStevens.Torch@gmail.com. He looks forward to your support in voting him into the Intercontinental title match at Cyber Sunday and getting your vote in the general election. I'm Lee Stevens and I approved this message.

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