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THE ABSURDITY OF IT ALL: 10/5 WWE No Mercy PPV - Triple "28%" H, Jericho Gets Busted Up, Highlight Reel Night for JBL
By Shane McKinley, PWTorch Specialist

Pretty Decent Win For ECW Champion Matt Hardy

No Mercy started with this absurd video package shot in the 1950s talking about Johnny and Suzie are in their own little perfect worlds. Johnny and Suzie should put down their books and watch some wrasslin. From this odd start I started to wonder if "No Mercy" was going to be "No Refunds", but the PPV turned out to be one of the best WWE PPVs of the year, despite the fact that it was so under hyped, many fans forgot that the PPV was on this Sunday. Liked the set design, as I feel set designs for wrestling PPVs should always be larger than life. By contrast, TNA PPVs set designs are pretty much the exact same as on Impact.

Matt Striker is gone? Guess he is being brainwashed by Vince so he can say phrases like "swashbuckling" like Michael Cole dropped tonight. Hey, an ECW title match on a PPV that goes longer than 4 minutes. Nice win for Matt Hardy.

Divas That Actually Dress Like Normal Women And The Mysterio Mask Angle

Enjoyed the women's match, as there was seemingly less focus on doing handstands and more of doing wrestling moves. Storyline with Candice's shoulder was a nice touch. Santino was his usual hammy self.

One could argue that Eric Bischoff pretty much killed the allure of luchador wrestlers in WCW when they lost their masks (what a great idea). Kane and Rey work well together, but as stated before the mask angle was dumb. For one, it was thrown into the mix at the last second, and only new wrestling fans would be interested. The non finish was okay, but so far this PPV was going great so far.

The Second Generation And Their Canned Lines, Randy Orton And His Punishment

Thought that it was good stuff with MVP once again yapping about his treatment and having Big Show play the role of GM. But there was a huge negative mark that was to follow. WWE seemingly has a play that they use a lot nowadays: the "Let's bring people out one at a time talking about nothing" promo. Orton is serving some sort of punishment for injuring himself, as nearly on every Raw he comes out and I cannot remember a single word he says. Blah blah blah I will be back soon I am the best blah blah blah. Orton delivers these tired lines like he would like to be somewhere else. Anywhere else. It is borderline pointless. But never fear, here comes The Second Generation. And they suck.

Cody Rhodes and Manu deliver canned, rehearsed lines about a vague beef with Orton. Fans were right in chanting "boring", since this tired play has been seen too much on Raw. Rhodes delivers his lines like he was acting in community theatre and Manu sounded like Scooby-doo when he said, "We picked up the scraps". Shelton Benjamin is now known as the guy with camera promos right before his matches because WWE knows he is limited on the mic. So why is T2G getting mic time when it is painful to hear them speak? T2G are still referring back to the attack on the "Lethal Weapon" CM Punk at Unforgiven? Gee, do you think they might drag this thing out till Survivor Series? It is pretty bad for fans when they know they are going to hear rehearsed lines about an angle they do not care about. Zzzzzz. It is pretty fun to predict what the next guy is going to say. The only thing positive about this debacle is that the hint was bluntly dropped about MVP moving to Raw (in a "special" trade, I do not doubt it for a second that WWE would pull the trigger) and possibly becoming face. Also this snore fest made people eager to even see Batista vs. JBL.

The JBL Promo That Will Go In His Highlight Reel

WWE sure loves Batista again, as Batista easily wins his match in about five minutes. Loved what they did with JBL's character. His "God Bless Me" promo was hilarious and good stuff. That is what promos should be all about. They should take thought and they should work the crowd over. I was fine with this, but for some odd reason Cryme Tyme, JBL's limo, Sgt. Slaughter and that awful "Money Money Yeah Yeah" song came into play, but despite this cheesy bit, I liked this part. Batista looks huge, JBL had a great promo, and the match itself was good. What I liked about this PPV is that for the most part the matches played up to their strengths and did not bother with any weak stuff. What I liked about this is that wrestling PPVs should include some humor and entertainment along with the violence. TNA PPVs are way too angry with nearly every match involving a blood feud.

Big Show Also Looks Huge As Well

I love the finishing punch and the offense of Big Show nowadays. Heck, I would rather see him punch somebody's lights out than to see his choke slam. It has been a long while since fans have seen a good "big man" match, but this match was great. Big Show going off the top rope. These guys were quick for a big man match. Taker just crumbling when receiving the punch. This feud started kind of "eh" but seeing how good Big Show is on the mic as well as in the ring, I am looking forward to these two tangle again.

It Is Better To Be Lucky Than Good For Triple H

Triple "28%" H faced off with Jeff Hardy which turned out to be one heck of a match. At the start of the match, I figured that Kozlov, that Moscow Mauler himself, would run in at some point and ruin the match. This match was pretty much the Jeff show. Ground game. Laying in some offense. Playing defense with "the will to win". I was feeling it, especially at the end. But as good of this match was, something about it threw me off. And it is this:

Triple H might be the worst thing to happen to Smack down this year.

For starters, before the match Triple H was shown to be his usual flippant, cocky self in checking out his phone because he just knew that he would win in some fashion. The announcing of the match was a little suspect too. When Triple H slapped on an abdominal stretch and a sleeper hold (standard moves), suddenly Jim Ross pointed out to fans that these moves were done by legends in the wrestling business and pointed out their names. Ok, it is not like Triple H busted out his Indian Death lock. I am probably wrong, but it felt odd that Triple H would be getting all of this "true student of the game" glory.

But I think what really sealed the deal was the pointless scene backstage involving Triple H. As stated before, the match was great, with an awesome finish that was well done. When Arn Anderson (out of the blue) applauded Triple H and said that it was close, you would think that the character of Triple H, who was so flippant and cocky about his sure-fire win before the match (and pretty much the entire last month of Smack down), and who just one second away from losing the championship, would take it upon himself to go, "Gee, that was a close call". Anything. Something. But I guess not. Champions who are presented to win at basically the last second as Triple H has been in the last two PPVs are not incredibly lucky, they are incredibly good. This is twisted logic. Excuse me if I do not buy that. So Jeff Hardy was just served up to feed the beast (the "mutual respect" that was played up).

And then Kozlov comes in and just stares at Triple H. Does not attack him because even an idiot like Kozlov knows that he cannot become the bigger story than Triple H. Like the Great Khali, he is just another dumb monster heel that will be eaten up by Triple H. Kozlov not attacking or doing much of anything did not help his character at all. But what this scene does is push Triple H as this great champion who the legends love (Arn Anderson) and has to face big dumb mean monsters (like Kozlov). Excuse me if I do not want to watch a champion who is hard to root for and all he faces are chumps (and he will always be the bigger story than these guys). This scene was garbage. I understand that people need to be pushed, but does Triple H need to be pushed nearly all of the time? Hog nearly all of the attention?

Kozlov is still a dumb cartoon character and if he is going to face Triple H for the WWE Championship (considering that his championship push is only about a month old, when all he has done this year is beat up jobbers) then something is seriously screwed up. The Triple H backstage skits and promos (not his in-ring work) are one of the things that I, along with many WWE fans, wish would change because it is simply not fun to watch somebody placate his own ego. It makes you want to throw a shoe into the television. Of course I do not know the entire story, but this has been my observations so far since Triple H moved to Smack down. Whatever how his character is portrayed now (sort of a "bad face", not a tweener), it sucks. I would not complain if I loved his character, but it is a hard pill to swallow. The majority might love it, but there is obviously a minority who frankly wish for a change of some sort.

The Award For The Most Busted Up Wrestler Of The Year Goes To Chris Jericho

The ladder match was great, but was brutal. It was like one of those WWE Attitude ladder matches, where that deep, sickening feeling crept into your gut as you were positive that Chris Jericho or Shawn Michaels were injured and they would be out for a year. Some might say that it is a dirty trick, but that is how wrestling works. The only other wrestler who I have seen busted up (especially now in the bloodless WWE nowadays) other than Chris Jericho is Kurt Angle of TNA. Good finish, and what a match for Chris Jericho. One thing is for sure, they will hype up Jericho chipping (or losing) his teeth. I am not a big fan of watching matches where there is little or no sense of trying to wrestle safe. These two guys were insane out there. But there is always going to be that fear that the next day fans will hear that Rey Mysterio, Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels will be out for 6 months or longer. I think even longtime wrestling fans sometimes cannot tell if a wrestler is legimately injured or if they are selling it. Nice finish at the end, and boy, the turnaround for Chris Jericho this year has been amazing.

NO MERCY'S FINAL VERDICT: Not Absurd

This was an A- PPV that had little going into it and I debated whether or not I should buy it. But I was glad I did, as nearly every bit of the PPV was well-done. What I liked especially about this PPV is that bits were well executed and put there for a specific reason. The positives about this PPV were the matches and the storylines. The negatives about this PPV were the Mysterio Mask angle, The Second Generation/Randy Orton Talking, and Triple H backstage skits. The wrestlers who looked big in this PPV were Matt Hardy, Candice, Mysterio, Kane, MVP, Batista, JBL, Big Show, Undertaker (His Selling), Triple H (in-ring), Jeff Hardy, Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho. It might have been under hyped, but due to this strong outing it will lead fans to trust the product. As wrestling fans when buying PPVs wrestling organizations have to know that the fans run the risk of watching something that is entirely phoned in and absolutely not worth the money or time. TNA PPVs might have a great card but due to their recent outings it is much, much harder to feel that buying a TNA PPV is a good choice.

LEAVING YOU WITH MY ABSURD THOUGHT: Is Mick Foley wrestling or he is going to be the special guest enforcer on PPV matches for now on? Hell, I will take a mentor angle for Team 3D or commentating, but I do not know why Foley being an "enforcer" is supposed to lead fans to buy Bound For Glory.

Email is mckinley.torch@gmail.com.

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