By Curtis Shanks, PWTorch Specialist

Welcome to the TNA Impact edition of Under the Microscope. We're here to review all those little observations and tidbits you may have missed. This is not a detailed recap of the show, but a review for those of you that saw the show but didn't actually "watch" it. After last week we know that Sting is a grumpy old man, Kip James needs to go away and no one but Jeff Jarrett owns a guitar. But what else is there to notice? Let's see what we can spot. Cue the opening pyro.

Christian consistently delivers strong promos, no matter what material is given to him. He is one of the best promo guys in TNA right now. My WWE vote would have to go to Edge for his amazing promo work last month. Imagine ten years ago if someone told you that the Edge/Christian tag team would give you two of the best talkers in the business today. Why weren't these guys allowed to speak much during their tag team runs? Makes you wonder who out there today is hiding some great mic work.

We see a lot of backstage interviews from Samoa Joe, most of them from the locker room area. But one question comes to mind whenever I see those promos. Where is everyone else? TNA has dozens of wrestlers on the roster, but during promos the locker room is void of everyone but Joe and Jeremy Borash. The catering table must be quite the hang out backstage at TNA tapings.

I saw possibly the first "Suicide" mention of tonight's show, did you? As Consequences Creed is fighting out of a Sheik Bashir headlock, the message flashes across the screen. A few readers pointed out to me last week that there was more than one mention, so I'll try to keep my eye out for more.

Somebody in TNA is reading PWTorch.com and my articles. I mentioned a few weeks ago that referee Shane Sewell was actually an accomplished wrestler in Puerto Rico. This week TNA shows us that with his attack on Bashir after the match outcome. I've also noticed in the past that Sewell takes ref bumps unlike any other referee as well. Most refs oversell a hit from a competitor and are knocked out for a prolonged period of time. But Sewell would usually bounce back and take the ref bumps as if he was any other wrestler.

The Beautiful People are still carrying around their paper bag for punishment upon their enemies. But I've learned of a great countermeasure to that devastating move. Simply place your arms on both sides of your neck and lift up. Guess they don't teach that in wrestling school.

With Jim Mitchell gone from TNA, Abyss is on his own. No managers, no valets. This means he must drive himself to the arena. That's a scary thought.

Speaking of Abyss, if wrestling in TNA doesn't work out for him he should apply for a job with TNA security. We see them breaking up fights about 41 times a night, so it would be Abyss' forte to run in and restore order. He'll at least do a better job than the current TNA security staff.

During the Devine vs. Abyss hardcore match Abyss no-sold weapons shots that would knock you or me out with ease. Maybe that's why the bottom of the cookie pan Devine used said ACME. Abyss recovered from those shots just like the coyote would in the old cartoons.

I used to think it would be a dream come true to work for any wrestling promotion, but TNA is not on that list anymore. In the history of TNA I can recall at least five instances where a backstage skit took place in the restroom. The last thing I need at my job is camera crews in the bathroom. On a side note, if it wasn't my task to watch this show under the microscope, I would have DVR'ed past that ODB bathroom segment. I don't need to see that on my TV.

Instances two and three of the "Suicide" mentions that I see are during the Saeed vs. ODB match. Speaking of this match, if I was the referee I would not rise ODB's hand in victory after seeing that last segment.

A.J. Styles mentions his wife and kids during his promo on Sting tonight. That creates quite the logic loophole if you look back at the A.J. and Karen saga that dominated Impact for a couple months. We know Kurt Angle was irked over their "affair", but no mention of how A.J.'s wife viewed that relationship. A.J.'s got to be the worst cheater in the world, as he had a relationship on national television.

Tonight's notable MIA's: Sonjay Dutt, Jay Lethal, Rhino, Sabin & Shelley, Petey Williams and Taylor Wilde. Numbers crunched harder than an unprotected chair shot to the head: Sting has quite the cushy job these days. He is involved in an important storyline right now, but when was the last time he actually wrestled a match in TNA. He disappears for a while, only to return, but not to wrestle. The last match Sting had was his loss in the Deuce's Wild tag team tournament on May 11th of this year. After only a promo to close the show tonight, this was the 117th consecutive day that Sting earned a paycheck but did not have to wrestle.

Curtis Shanks is a self-described wrestling nerd. Who else would lay claim to keeping up-to-date on the title histories of over 40 independent and foreign promotions? In the words of Adrian Monk, "It's a blessing…and a curse." Curtis encourages anyone with questions or comments to e-mail him at curtisshanks.torch@gmail.com.

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