By J.R. Maes, Torch Team Contributor

WWE Heat review
April 25, 2003
Taped 4/19/04 in Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Aired on Spike TV
Report by J.R.Maes, Torch Team Contributor

Hello all, welcome back to another edition of Sunday Night Heat. I enjoyed my weekend in Nashville immensely and I want to send out a hearty thank you and get well to my fan club president and Heat review junkie, Greg Youncofski. I thought he did a good job with his recap last week and will be calling on him again in the future when I am not available for one reason or another. Let me know what you thought! But now, it is time for the third highest rated WWE television program, Sunday Night Heat.

The show starts and Todd Grisham welcomes us to the show and reminds us that he is not Jonathon Coachman. Al Snow asks, “Who are you?”

1) Grandmasta Sexay defeated Wavell Star Grandmasta comes to ringside and slaps hands with the fans. Why? I don’t know. Who would actually get behind someone that looks like that? Let alone want to touch him. The match starts quickly with Wavell getting the jump on Grandmasta. Grisham explains that Coachman is on the road with Garrison Cade dispensing his knowledge. Not a bad role for Coachman to take. Gets him off of the announce position and keeps my ears from hurting at least one day out of the week. Oh, Grandmasta has gotten control of the match and climbs the top rope. He puts on the goggles and jumps on to Wavell with the Tennessee Jam for the victory.

Match Satisfaction: Well, Grandmasta is back and the crowd was ecstatic. Really, I saw three whole people on their feet during the contest. Of course they were sidestepping people’s feet on the way to the concession stand but hey, beggars can’t be choosers. The only positive that came out of this match is that Grandmasta has started a winning streak that will in no way continue for more than a month before he is jobbed out. Wait, that’s a positive?

2) Rob Conway defeated Rosey Accompanying Rob is his partner from Quebec City, Sylvain “The Difference Maker” Grenier. Unfortunately, Rob still has the awful hairdo and overly manicured eyebrows that make him resemble a young Phyllis Diller with a butch haircut. Rob and Rosey start off with tie up into a go behind that Rosey easily breaks. Rosey is still a superhero in training posing the question, if you suck at something for so long when is the appropriate time to call it quits? Rosey throws Rob in the corner and charges. Rob slips out of the way and Rosey runs shoulder first into the ringpost. The Difference Maker slugs Rosey and Hurricane, in costume, runs him off. Conway takes control and in the process strips Rosey of his mask, revealing, a fat guy’s face. WhooHoo! Conway continues to dominate Rosey with punches, kicks and the eventual headlock takedown. Roseys’ gut fights back and clotheslines Conway. Conway bounces off the ropes and Rosey back body drops him high in the air. The Difference Maker interferes again and Hurricane backs him off. Conway rushes Rosey who catches him with a partial spinebuster. Rosey climbs the ropes but The Difference Maker cracks Rosey with the Quebec flag. Rosey falls to the ring and Rob Conway gets the easy three count.

Match Satisfaction: I liked the match from the standpoint that I got to create another new nickname for a bland WWE wrestler. Just like “The Rising” with Jindrak and Cade, Sylvain Grenier will now be known as “The Difference maker.” Why? Well, I’ll tell you. Grenier is pretty much a generic looking guy like much of the OVW talent once they get to the WWE. Rob Conway has a decent look but I would not know him from any of the others guys at my local gym. The only reason he would stand out is the fact he has some highly manicured eyebrows. Just look at them and try to disagree.

During the break I realize that Burger King is copying obscure animated shorts. “I’m Spicy” is a direct rip off from Don Hertzfeld’s “Rejected” and “A’Lamour.” “I’m the Queen of France.”

Also, Torrie Wilson basically admits something that has been common knowledge or so I thought. Her taters are not real. Well, there go all of the “real” or “fake” arguments. But really, fake, real, do guys really care anymore? And if so, why? You have access to some taters are you going to be complaining either way? Probably not!

They are heavily pimping the Shelton Benjamin appearance in the main-event tonight, as they should be. Shelton should not be on Heat if they are truly trying to get him over as a future star. Apparently Shelton has not received the memo that he is basically one step away from the highest plateau of stardom he will achieve that being the Inter-Continental championship.

3) Lance Storm defeated Stevie Richards Lance gets a huge reaction from the natives in Calgary. I get the feeling he is taking the loss here. Lance though does look genuinely pleased with the reaction. Once in the ring the crowd starts chanting, “Go Flames, go.” On which I add, “Go Wings, go.” Storm is obviously feeding off he crowd as he spins out of a simple arm breaker by climbing the ropes and very quickly flipping out. He then picks up Stevie and suspends him in the air for a vertical suplex at least twenty seconds. Stevie recovers after the fall and takes control of the match, tossing Lance out of the ring. He locks on an armbar but Lance struggles to the ropes. Stevie is now playing the crowd by chanting U.S.A, which of course brings boos. Why does Canada hate us anyway? Lance breaks out of a headlock and dropkicks Stevie. Both men are down and Mike Chioda begins the ten count. They both rise at the count of five and go at it again. Lance nails Stevie with a leg lariat but garners only a two count. Stevie nails lance with a falling shoulder breaker but lance comes back with a rolling Canadian Maple Leaf for the tap-out victory. The crowd goes nuts and Lance soaks up the crowd adulation.

Match Satisfaction: Lance Storm goes over? What the hell is going on here? Who cares if he was in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, he f’n won? Please let this be the start if a sustained push for Mr. Storm. Even if it means he only ascends the Heat ladder of success. It is better than jobbing out on a show no one watches to Val Venis or Rosey.

Recap of the night takes us back to Monday Night Raw and the halfway point of the tag-title match between Edge & Chris Benoit versus Batista and “The Real Phenom” Ric Flair. Flair and Benoit are in the ring chopping the bejesus out of each other. Chris flips Nature Boy with a high back body drop Flair is famous for and then locks him in the Sharpshooter. Batista tries interfering but Chris knocks him out of the ring. Benoit then locks Flair in the crossface, which brings out Triple H. Chris disposes of him and goes back to work on Ric. Batista is back in the ring breaking the hold and then gives Benoit the spinebuster. Edge and Batista are tagged in simultaneously and they do a tad bit of battle before Batista blows up and Edge has to fight Flair. Batista tries powerbombing Edge but he is hit in the face with Edges’ cast. Benoit climbs the top rope and falls on Batista with his flying headbutt. Triple H drags Benoit out of the ring. Shawn Michaels runs out and superkicks Triple H. In the ring, Edge Spears Batista and pins him for the World tag-Team Championship.

Al Snow asks, “What happened to Evolution?” I ask, what happened to the WWE’s tag teams?

The Drakengard recap of the night gives us Matt Hardy saving Lita from Kane. I am all for this reunion but the whole angle was botched. The camera work was sub par and the spacing of everything was botched. Can we get a do over?

4) Shelton Benjamin defeated Rhyno Shelton Benjamin is a tank. He has the look for someone going to the top. A naturally defined and developed physique and in ring knowledge. The only problem, he smiles way to friggin much. The two start with the traditional Sunday Night Heat staple, collar and elbow. Rhyno turns their second lock up in to an arm ringer that Benjamin counters and turns in to a whip. Rhyno is playing a strange role tonight. He is a cheerleader. He keeps clapping his hands trying to get the crowd in absorbed in the match. Just friggin go already, the rest will take care of itself. Benjamin hammerlocks Rhyno. Rhyno runs right towards the rope for a break. Rhyno comes back, slaps on a headlock and talks trash. Shelton throws him in the ropes and Rhyno lands a nice shoulder block. Rhyno is felled and Shelton climbs the ropes. Rhyno, playing possum apparently, pops up and pushes Shelton outside the ring off the top rope. Commercial break time!

Oh no, there’s that Burger King commercial again. This guy may be spicy but I guarantee you the sandwich isn’t. Ahh, now this is better, Kill Bill Vol.2. I saw it this afternoon and I must say I enjoyed it. Hopefully, Tarantino will not take another extended period of time between films. Hey, it’s Main Event Prowrestling. The only certified wrestling school in South Carolina. I have to check that out sometime. Is there anyone in S.C. willing to go one Friday night and check out a show? No way the fiancée is going with me.

Back from break, Rhyno covers Shelton for a two count. Rhyno locks on a chinlock as the action halts. Shelton elbows out but Rhyno grabs the tights and slams him down on the mat. Rhyno starts blowing kisses towards the crowd and is showing some good emotion. What is going on here? Is that Rhyno, acting cocky and showing a glimpse of a personality? I am gone one week and all hell breaks loose! Rhyno again slaps on a chinlock and again, Shelton elbows out. This time, Shelton whips Rhyno in the ropes and kicks him. Rhyno backs in the corner and Shelton charges. Rhyno grabs his leg but Shelton gives him the legwhip-kick. That’s the dragon whip, right? Rhyno rises first and prepares for the gore but Shelton moves and plants Rhyno with his finisher that needs a name for the three count

Match Satisfaction: I am totally satisfied by the is match. Rhyno showed glimpses of his old self by baiting the crowd with his mannerisms. He made Shelton look like a million dollars by giving him enough offense and making him self for an extended periods of time. Shelton did his job beautifully by making all of his offense look crisp and especially by not blowing nay spots. As the match progressed it became obvious the crowd was slowly absorbing the action, which only bodes well for these two performers. Shelton was already on his way but hopefully someone takes notice that Rhyno showed a good deal of his old self in this match.

End Points: After a week off I am pleasantly surprised with this edition of Heat. A lot of the matches had some real fan attention instead of the audiosweetner awkwardly cheering and booing for Wrestler A over Wrestler B. The credit here rests with the hot Calgary crowd who cheered the hometown hero Lance Storm as well as the up and comer Shelton Benjamin while giving the heel Rhyno a polite response. The show was a tad unpredictable from the offset with Coach absent and replace with a competent Todd Grisham. He did nothing embarrassing and should be brought back as the main announcer. Not only was he better than Coachman, Coachman seems like a natural manager. Has the day finally come? Coachman is no longer piercing ears on Heat? Tune in next week to find out.

J.R. Maes welcomes any comments, oversights and opinions you have to share. Drop me a line at jeremymaes@yahoo.com or if you are a VIP Member, as you should be by now, I can be reached at Jmaes through the messenger service! If you send me an e-mail please include something in the title of the e-mail saying what you are writing about. With so many viruses and worms floating around I delete anything I do not recognize. Also, my Lounge articles are posted sometime every Wednesday. Make sure and check it out. Until this Wednesday, have fun!

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