Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler welcomed viewers to the show as the roulette wheel spun in the center of the ring. Eric Bischoff, flanked by a couple of graceless, butt ugly showgirls, insulted the Salt Lake City crowd by saying he was trying to bring some Las Vegas-style excitement to the boring city.
Eric started to spin the wheel to determine the first match, but "Sexy Boy" hit and Shawn Michaels came out. HBK was a little peeved at Bischoff for his treatment at last week's show.
Batista's music hit, and he came out with a message for Michaels. A crude one at that. (I really didn't want to know what was in his bowel movements. Ewwwww!)
One word led to another, and the two of them were ripping off their shirts and ready to rip each other's heads off.
"Whoa," said Bischoff, trying to restore order. It would be Batista vs. Shawn Michaels at Armageddon. But tonight, since the wheel had stopped on Bischoff's Choice, it would be a tag team match: Batista and Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho.
Shawn Michaels was less than thrilled. Jericho had split his head open at WrestleMania.
(Commercial break)
Quarter Hour 2
Lita headed out, looking pretty chipper for someone who'd been dumped on TV just a week ago.
Eric appeared on the TitanTron, martini in hand, and told Lita that in the spirit of Raw Roulette, he'd let Molly Holly spin the wheel to determine what kind of match Lita would have. Molly Holly has definitely overhauled her wardrobe.
It landed on a steel cage match. Imagine that. The cage descended and Victoria came out (Stevie-less).
(1) Steel Cage Match: Victoria over Lita. Good action from Victoria, including a spinning sidewalk slam. Lita got in a flurry of punches and took Victoria down with a drop toe hold. Lita went up to the top of the cage, with Victoria close behind. Lita kicked Victoria back to the mat. Victoria climbed right back up and pulled Lita down by her shirt. Lita started to climb back up the cage, but she slipped (it looked like a legit slip). The crowd chanted for Lita and she got to her feet and put an end to Victoria's climb up the side of the cage. A Moonsault by Lita flattened Victoria. With Victoria out cold, Lita crawled over to the door of the cage, but before she could crawl out, Matt Hardy slammed the cage door on her. Victoria took advange and crawled out first for the win.
Christian ran out and rescued Lita as Matt Hardy laughed on his way back up the ramp.
Randy Orton was wooing the woofers as Eric spun the wheel again. It came up on Legend Killer Match. It would be Orton versus someone who'd been flown in especially for the occasion.
Hurricane and his faithful sidekick, Rosey, whooshed in and wanted to know what their match would be. It would be Hurricane vs. Rosey, explained Eric, and the match would be a Capture the Midget Match.
"What's up widdat?" asked a baffled Hurricane, who told Eric that "midget" was not a polically correct term.
"Too bad," said Bischoff. It would be midgets or Hurricane would be fired.
(Commercial break)
Quarter Hour 3
(2) Legend Killer Match: Randy Orton over Sgt. Slaughter. Sarge looked in better shape than the last time he was in the ring and had lost his enormous gut. If Orton thought he was going to have an easy time, he was wrong. A Cobra Clutch by the Sarge, but he seemed to get a low blow from somewhere, which was followed by the RKO.
After the match ended, Orton began stomping Slaughter. Rob Van Dam ran out to put an end to that with a spinning kick or two. He was about to go for the Five Star Frog Splash, but Orton rolled out of the ring and headed to safety. RVD celebrated with Slaughter in the ring.
(Commercial break) Don't forget to watch "The Stone Cold Truth" this Wednesday night on Spike TV.
Val Venis had promised to provide some ladies for he and Lance Storm. The girls were worried; they'd heard that wrestlers could be a little crazy. Rosey and Hurricane and the midget ran through the scene with a butterfly net and proved their point.
Ric Flair cut an old-style promo. Whoooooo!
Bischoff was talking with Matt about his match. Matt was drinking a Y2 Stinger and Eric offered him a coaster -- a copy of The Stone Cold Truth.
Matt spun the wheel and got a Strange Bedfellows Match. Matt quickly told Bischoff he was straight. Eric said it was nothing like that. He was sure Matt would love the match.
Goldberg was shown in the locker room warming up for his match.
(Commercial break)
Quarter Hour 4
(3) Strange Bedfellows Match: Bubba Ray Dudley & Garrison Cade over Matt Hardy & Christian. Strange bedfellows, indeed. Matt tossed Christian to the lions, so to speak. He left his partner in enemy territory to get double-teamed. Garrison Cade and Bubba Dudley were a strong team. Matt refused to tag in and Christian got a Bubba Bomb and Garrison Cade came off the top rope with an elbow and a winning pin. Matt had walked away and left Christian to be destroyed.
Bubba argued with Cade after the match.
Triple H and Ric Flair were walking to the ring.
(Commercial break)
Terri was interviewing a HBK backstage. He said he'd beat the odds and work as a team with Jericho. Then he told Terri that a midget was looking up her dress. She swatted him away and Hurricane and Rosey ran though the scene and chased him off
Quarter Hour 5
(4) Heavyweight Championship Match: Goldberg over Triple H (w/Ric Flair) via DQ. Goldberg got a good pop from the crowd. J.R. sold Goldberg's ankle injury better than Big Bill did.
The match started with the obligatory trash talk, then Triple H stomped him into the corner. Goldberg with a huge back body drop on Triple H. The match spilled to the outside and Triple H sent Goldberg crashing into the steel steps.
The match moved back into the ring, and when the ref had his back turned, Flair choked Goldberg with his suit jacket. Goldberg military press slammed Triple H from the top rope, followed by a side slam. Goldberg was poised for a spear, but the Game rolled out of the ring.
Goldberg made sure Triple H got back into the ring. Triple H went up top and came down into the foot of the champ. Goldberg with a military press that turned into a power slam.
Orton ran into the ring and got a spear for his trouble and the bell rang. Goldberg got a Pedigree, but was able to kick out when Kane's music hit. Goldberg speared the Game. Kane gave Goldberg a big boot to the face, then he tossed him into a corner and began a stomp fest. Kane ended it with a chokeslam.
Bischoff was flirting with the showgirls, when Triple H stormed into his office. Suddenly his tone got quieter and the camera panned back to show an intimidating Kane right behind Triple H. Both of them said they wanted Goldberg and the World Championship. It would be Kane vs. Goldberg vs. Triple H in a Triple Threat Match at Armageddon, promised Eric.
(Commercial break)
Quarter Hour 6
The midget was being chased through the parking lot by Rosey and Hurricane.
Booker came out and Bischoff appeared on the TitanTron with yet another cocktail in his hand. He told Booker he'd be facing Mark Henry tonight. Theodore Long objected to the snow white show girls. They spun the wheel and got a Salt Lake City Street Fight.
(5) Salt Lake City Street Fight: Mark Henry (w/Theodore Long) over Booker T. Booker "hid" behind the scenery to attack Henry on his way out to the ring. Booker used Henry's plunder against him. Since there didn't seem to be any streets involved in the match, it was just another garbage match. Stop signs, garbage cans, fire extinguisher. You know the drill. After a fire extinguisher shot, Booker geared up for a scissors kick and got a near fall. But the tables turned and it was Mark Henry who got the pin and the win.
(Commercial break)
Quarter Hour 7
Eric spun the wheel and Trish ended up with a Bra and Panties Match.
She ran into Jericho backstage and he said he'd talk to Bischoff if she didn't want to do it. She said she was okay with it.
Trish asked Jericho to do the right thing, as far as his match with Shawn Michels. She cautioned him that Bischoff was just using him. She said she'd be good to him later if he did the right thing . . . and she gave him a kiss for good luck.
J.R. explained that Stone Cold was no longer a part of Raw, but on Wednesday night "The Stone Cold Truth" would air on Spike TV. This would be the "last" time to see Stone Cold, said J.R.
The crowd visible behind J.R. and the King was getting rowdy and suddenly Fernando the Midget jumped into J.R.'s lap. Lillian announced that J.R. had won the Capture the Midget Match, as Boomer Sooner played.
An energetic Rob Van Dam ran out to the ring, and TitanTron Eric spun the wheel. It would be a Handicap Match. But Orton was in Eric's ear and asked him to spin the wheel again. It came up Singapore Cane Match. So it would be a Singapore Cane and Handicap Match. RVD looked worried.
(Commercial break)
(6) Singapore Cane/Handicap Match: Test & Scott Steiner (w/Mopy Stacy) over Rob Van Dam. RVD was holding his own til Test pulled Stacy into the line of fire. Test accidentally knocked Steiner down with the cane, and RVD came off the top with a Five Star Frog Splash on Steiner. But, alas, RVD didn't win the match, as Test pinned him for the win. Test took the cane to Stacy's backside as the winners left the ring. Pig!
Backstage, Jericho argued with Bischoff about putting Trish in a Bra and Panties Match. Eric accused him of falling for Trish.
Eric wanted to talk about the upcoming tag match. Jericho told Bischoff he'd do the right thing.
(Commercial break)
Quarter Hour 8
(7) Bra and Panties Match: Trish Stratus vs. Miss Jackie (w/Rico). As Jackie came out, J.R. mentioned her "revealing" moment last week. This match was just what you'd expect -- lots of T & A and suggestive moves. Then Trish pulled Rico's pants off and he was wearing a pink thong. Trish won by leaving Jackie in her underwear. Jackie started yelling at Lillian for announcing Trish as the winner and ripped Lillian's shirt off. The King was in puppy heaven. (Rico in a thong from the back just looked peculiar on TV, which is not to say he doesn't have nice buns.)
Backstage, Jericho asked Trish if it was still on for later. She told him to do the right thing and she'd think about it.
(Commercial break)
Lillian had found a tee shirt during the break and was back in the ring announcing the next match.
Quarter Hour 9
(8) Bischoff's Choice Match: Chris Jericho & Shawn Michaels over Ric Flair & Batista. Michaels and Flair exchanged chops, then Michaels extended his hand to Jericho. Would he make the tag? Yep. (The arena was very smoky at this point -- a purple haze, J.R. called it.) Jericho and Batista went at it, with Batista giving Jericho a spinebuster. Jericho pulled Flair into the ring from off the ropes. Michaels tagged in and Flair took a hard fall and came up with a bloody nose. Batista got sent out through the ropes by HBK but he also knocked down Jericho by mistake. HBK got a pin, of sorts, when Jericho pulled him over Flair for a cover. A smiling Jericho headed up the ramp to get ready for his date and left HBK alone with Batista, who tried to choke HBK. Blood was flowing from Michael's mouth when Batista dropped him. "Get some help out here," yelled J.R., as Batista roared a promo about Armageddon and HBK spit up blood.
You are encouraged to send in your comments on tonight's show to TVFeedback@pwtorch.com. Please include your name, hometown, rating from 1 to 10, the best match and the worst match, and your thoughts about the program.
I love feedback and you can reach me at mallory_m_@hotmail.com. See you in The Lounge on Saturday.
THE TORCH REACHES MORE COMBAT ENTERTAINMENT FANS THAN ANY OTHER SOURCE
PWTorch editor Wade Keller has covered pro wrestling full time since 1987 starting with the Pro Wrestling Torch print newsletter. PWTorch.com launched in 1999 and the PWTorch Apps launched in 2008.
He has conducted "Torch Talk" insider interviews with Hulk Hogan, The Rock, Steve Austin, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Eric Bischoff, Jesse Ventura, Lou Thesz, Jerry Lawler, Mick Foley, Jim Ross, Paul Heyman, Bruno Sammartino, Goldberg, more.
He has interviewed big-name players in person incluiding Vince McMahon (at WWE Headquarters), Dana White (in Las Vegas), Eric Bischoff (at the first Nitro at Mall of America), Brock Lesnar (after his first UFC win).
He hosted the weekly Pro Wrestling Focus radio show on KFAN in the early 1990s and hosted the Ultimate Insiders DVD series distributed in retail stories internationally in the mid-2000s including interviews filmed in Los Angeles with Vince Russo & Ed Ferrara and Matt & Jeff Hardy. He currently hosts the most listened to pro wrestling audio show in the world, (the PWTorch Livecast, top ranked in iTunes)
REACHING 1 MILLION+ UNIQUE USERS PER MONTH
500 MILLION CLICKS & LISTENS PER YEAR
MILLIONS OF PWTORCH NEWSLETTERS SOLD
PWTorch offers a VIP membership for $10 a month (or less with an annual sub). It includes nearly 25 years worth of archives from our coverage of pro wrestling dating back to PWTorch Newsletters from the late-'80s filled with insider secrets from every era that are available to VIPers in digital PDF format and Keller's radio show from the early 1990s.
Also, new exclusive top-shelf content every day including a new VIP-exclusive weekly 16 page digital magazine-style (PC and iPad compatible) PDF newsletter packed with exclusive articles and news.
The following features come with a VIP membership which tens of thousands of fans worldwide have enjoyed for many years...
-New Digital PWTorch Newsletter every week
-3 New Digital PDF Back Issues from 5, 10, 20 years ago
-Over 60 new VIP Audio Shows each week
-Ad-free access to all PWTorch.com free articles
-VIP Forum access with daily interaction with PWTorch staff and well-informed fellow wrestling fans
-Tons of archived audio and text articles
-Decades of Torch Talk insider interviews in transcript and audio formats with big name stars. **SIGN UP FOR VIP ACCESS HERE**
