TV REPORTS 10/13 WWE Raw: Mallory's "Virtual Time" Coverage
Oct 13, 2003 - 10:08:00 PM
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By Mallory Mahling, Torch Team Contributor
WWE Raw "Virtual Time" Coverage
October 13, 2003
Live from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Aired on Spike TV
Ongoing "Virtual" Time Review of the Show
Welcome to tonight's ongoing coverage of Raw. You may need to hit "refresh" from time to time to see the latest update.
Torch VIP members, remember that Wade Keller is posting his "virtual time" report during Raw at PWTorch.com/members.
Raw is live tonight from the Mellon Arena in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
What can we expect to see tonight?
- Last week, Maven boldly challenged the legendary Ric Flair. Will the Nature Boy take the Tough Enough grad back to school tonight?
- In "breaking news," Kane's condition has been upgraded to stable.
- And then there's that bounty thing.
All this and more, coming up tonight on Raw.
Quarter Hour 1
Backstage, Terri was interviewing Ric Flair and Randy Orton about the bounty on Goldberg's head (and title belt). Flair said he'd been injured at last night's house show and wouldn't be able to take on Maven tonight.
Shawn Michaels happened by and Flair told him he could still be the greatest, but he didn't want to be for some reason. Flair was angry that HBK had allowed himself to be dragged up a ramp by Mark Henry and speared by Goldberg last week. He told Michaels that he still had the "fire" in him and he goaded him about getting Goldberg tonight. "Be Shawn Michaels -- you owe it to yourself," urged Flair. Michaels remained noncomittal.
Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler welcomed viewers to tonight's show. J.R. promised that we would be going live to Kane's hospital room later in the show.
The limo wreck was replayed yet again. Chris Jericho was in the ring and called for the accident video to stop. He said what had happened last week was proof that Steve Austin needed to be removed as co-General Manager.
Last Friday night at a house show in Louisville, Kentucky, a match between Shane and Test had resulted in a legit injury to Test.
"When's it going to end?" asked Christian. He said Shane was just like Austin; he doesn't care about anybody. He said the professionals in the back don't like to have Shane around anyway.
Shane's music hit and he actually walked out instead of bouncing. He got a good pop from the crowd. Shane objected to being included in their Stone Cold propaganda. He was proud to have put Kane in the hospital and broken Test's foot. He suggested that maybe Christian and Jericho needed a "waaaahmbulance" to cart them off tonight.
Rob Conway came out with Rene Dupree. They had a bone to pick with Shane. In fact, all of them did, and it turned into a four-on-one attack, and Shane ended up tapping out to the Walls of Jericho.
The Dudleyz hit the ring and the four big mouths ran like the proverbial scalded dogs. "You wanna go?" asked Bubba. "Let's got right now."
Loud "USA" chant as the Canadians thought it over.
"No," they said and walked off.
In the garage, Goldberg was nearly run over. (It's deja vu all over again.)
Quarter Hour 2
Moments ago, somebody had tried to turn Goldberg into roadkill.
(1) Intercontinental Title Match: Rob Van Dam vs. Scott Steiner (w/Stacy Keibler) ended in a DQ. Steiner pushed someone out of his chair at ringside and gave Stacy the chair for safekeeping. He ordered her to give it to him when he asked for it during the match.
It was a Van Dam kind of crowd, but Steiner was dominating the early part of the match.
Van Dam with a split-legged moonsault and a cover, but Steiner kicked out. Steiner told Stacy to give him the chair, but she refused. Steiner was distracted, which gave RVD the advantage. Rolling Thunder on Steiner, who rolled out of the ring. RVD with a baseball slide, but Steiner stopped his high-risk follow-up. Steiner picked up the chair, and RVD tried to give him a face full of it. He missed and Steiner pasted him with the steel chair.
Steiner was furious and went after Stacy, chair in hand. Steve Austin came out to make the save. He began to berate the Big Bad Booty Daddy, who was suddenly not quite so brave. Austin begged Steiner to hit him. Austin double-dog dared Steiner to hit him, and Steiner gave him a big right hand.
Stone Cold had a twinkle in his eyes as he stood up. He stomped Steiner into the corner. The crowd was chanting for Austin, who had opened up a real big can on Steiner, who made a hasty retreat.
Austin tossed Stacy a beer, which she refused until he popped the top for her like a gentleman. She took a sip and made a face. Ya don't diss Austin's brand of beer, and he gave her a Stunner. The crowd loved it. (There is something just wrong about that.)
Quarter Hour 3
Ric Flair joined J.R. and the King on commentary. He couldn't participate in the match since he'd been injured at a house show last night. Or so he said.
(2) Maven pinned Rico (w/Jackie Gayda). As all three commentators completely ignored the action in the ring, Maven pinned Rico for the 1-2-3. Very quick match.
As soon as the match was over, Flair jumped up and ran to the ring with his crutch, which he took to Maven's backside. Flair had been faking the injury. (I'm shocked.)
Roosevelt, disguised as a mild-manner reporter, took a picture of Lance Storm backstage. Hurricane said there was an emergency at the orphanage. Someone had put caffeine in the babies' milk. Ugh!
Rosey the S.H.I.T. needed to change and headed towards the locker room. Hurricane said superheroes don't change in locker rooms and pointed to a phone booth. Rosey closed the door to the phone booth and promptly got stuck.
Just in case you've missed the limo wreck the other 150 times they've shown it over the past week, they repeated it once again.
J.R. said Kane was still hospitalized.
In the locker room, the Dudleyz recruited Shane to be in their match. It was going to be a tables match.
Goldberg told a crew member to be on the look-out for a Cadillac. As he walked away, a crate crashed down from the rafters, just inches from Goldberg.
Quarter Hour 4
Goldberg headed to the ring and he was pissed. (Some "Goldberg" chants, combined with loud booing.) He said anybody who wanted to collect the bounty could come and get it. (He's lucky he didn't get a ring full of audience members.)
"Sexy Boy" hit and out came the Heartbreak Kid. Shawn demanded an explanation for the spear last week, especially the fact that Goldberg hadn't seemed to care and hadn't owned up to his mistake.
Before Shawn or Goldberg could throw a punch, Tommy Dreamer ran out with his Kendo stick. Tommy got a spear for his trouble.
In the meantime, a crazed Flair ran down to the ring and screamed at HBK to take Goldberg out.
Theodore Long and Mark Henry came out and said they had first dibs on Goldberg.
Eric Bischoff came out to sort out the mess. He decided tonight's main event would be a handicap match: Randy Orton, Mark Henry and Ric Flair to take on Shawn Michaels and Goldberg.
(3) 8-Man Tag Team Tables Match: The Dudley Boyz & Shane and Booker T over Chris Jericho & Christian & La Resistance (Rene Dupree & Rob Conway). Booker received a great pop from the crowd, and as the match started, a loud "USA" chant broke out.
Quarter Hour 5
Booker and Jericho started things off, and it was good to see him back in action. It wasn't long until the match turned into a brawl. D-Von found himself isolated in the enemy corner and taking a licking. Bubba finally tagged back in and cleaned house. Shane had yet to lift a finger.
Christian and Jericho decided they'd had enough and headed to the back. Shane brought them back to the ring and began to unleash his arsenal of jiggy moves on Jericho. La Resistance put a stop to that. (I'm beginning to like those French guys.)
As the show went to a commercial break, the action had moved to ringside.
Returning to the match, Shane had been isolated and was getting his behind handed to him. Dupree, especially, was looking good.
Quarter Hour 6
Booker T made the tag and was on fire. He finally had a chance to go one-on-one with Christian, with whom he had a history. Christian got a 3-D, then Bubba introduced a trash can to the mix. Booker with a Spine buster on Dupree. He propped the trash can on Dupree, then Shane went up top and drove the trash can into Dupree's gut.
A Whazzup on Conway, and it was time for D-Von to get the tables. Christian with a sloppy move to the outside, then Jericho took it to the Dudleys back in the ring. Spike ran out to make the save. A 3-D on Conway, but the table had been moved. Booker T took matters into his own hands and put Conway through the table himself, to take the win.
Crowd shots and highlights from the weekend house shows aired.
Rosey was still stuck in the phone booth and begging for help.
The celebration in the ring had continued through the commercial break.
Jonathan Coachman came out to break up the festivities. He said Eric Bischoff had authorized him to interview Kane from Kane's hospital bed.
The limo wreck was shown. Again. From all angles. In slow motion. Coach said it had been brutal.
Shane said the only thing brutal was Coach's announcing. Shane said he would do the interviewing.
Kane's doctor said he wasn't sure the Big Red Patient would be coherent. He wasn't even conscious, for Pete's sake.
Shane started running his mouth and challenged Kane to a match at Survivor Series. The heart monitor started beeping wildly and Kane began to mumble.
The doctor warned Shane to stop his tirade.
Kane suddenly sat up and grabbed the doctor by the throat and tossed him across the room, then he grabbed the nurse just as the live connection was lost.
Quarter Hour 7
(4) Six-Woman Tag Team Match: Lita & Ivory & Trish over Gail Kim & Victoria (w/Stevie Richards) & Molly Holly. After a brief schmozz, Ivory and Gail Kim faced off. Lita tagged in and was nearly pinned by Molly. Molly went up top for a Molly-Go-Round, but ended up crotched on the rope when Kim bumped into it.
Trish tagged in with a chick kick or two for Gail Kim. Lita with a Twist of Fate, then she got slammed hard into the guard rail. Trish with a roll-up and pin on Victoria for the win.
Victoria and Stevie began some post-match viciousness, but Jericho came out and attacked Stevie Richards and Victoria, then tenderly picked Trish up. She seemed confused, and Jericho looked smitten.
Quarter Hour 8
Jericho was walking down the hallway backstage, and Austin asked him what the deal was with Trish. Jericho said he was just doing the right thing. He reminded Ausin of the stunner earlier tonight on Stacy, which had not been the right thing.
John Heidenreich was backstage, too. He reminded Austin he'd provided the ticket that got Stone Cold into the arena a couple of weeks ago. He said he'd brought a tape for Stone Cold to watch, since he wanted to break into the business. "Little Johnny" had put the tape together, said Heidenreich, but he was reluctant to tell Austin who Little Johnny was.
Terri asked Austin if he was concerned about the attempts on Goldberg's life tonight. (Finally, somebody remembered.) Austin was more interested in drinking.
Rosey was still stuck in the phone booth. (And he's probably still stuck in the phone booth.)
Flair, Orton and Mark Henry were arguing backstage about the handicap match and the bounty. Belie' dat. (Do you supposed the winner of the bounty will get a roll of paper towels?)
(5) Handicap Match: Goldberg & Shawn Michaels over Ric Flair, Randy Orton, & Mark Henry (w/Theodore Long).
Quarter Hour 9
Shawn Michaels started off for his team and looked great taking on everybody.
Flair motioned Goldberg into the ring, and Goldie no-sold all the chops, then back-dropped Flair.
HBK was back in, and not faring so well this time. Mark Henry was tossing HBK around like a rag doll, which didn't seem like the smartest idea.
Flair tagged in and continued the destruction of Michaels. The two traded chops, then collided in the ring. The referee started counting them out, then HBK slowly crawled over and made the tag to Goldberg. Goldberg pressed Orton over his head then tossed him to the outside.
Goldberg picked up Henry, and HBK followed with a sommersault plancha. Goldberg jackhammered Mark Henry for the pin and the win. The two stood there celebrating, then Shawn Michaels gave Goldberg some sweet chin music -- just to even the score for last week's spear.
Eric Bischoff came out, thrilled to see the old HBK, and made a title match for next week: Goldberg vs. Shawn Michaels.
And that was that. The End.
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