By Sean Radican, Torch Team Phenomenon

WWE Smackdown Review
September 18, 2003
Taped 9/16
Aired on UPN

Will Smackdown achieve the standard this week?

The Big Picture: A full sixty minutes of two great wrestlers on television for free? Where do I sign up? In all seriousness I thought the show was really bad last week and I can't see how this week's show can't top the crap from last week. Steph vs. Lesnar was a really bad idea. It just left me to wonder who in their right mind would feel good about shelling out for a ticket to a WWE event these days when there is the prospect of witnessing an event like last weeks show. Furthermore, I would be disgusted if I were someone who attended last weeks Smackdown and I tuned in this week and saw an Iron Man match after paying to see Steph vs. Lesnar last week. No wonder WWE has some stock in black tarp. I find it amazing that the McMahon's draw ratings, the exception being Vince. They put Shane on and the ratings go up. The same with Steph and Vince as well. I guess we're in it for the long haul with this family who seemingly fails to see the sign in front of them, which reads, " You own a wrestling company and you're not wrestlers!" All right, I'm off that tangent now so let's move on to a brand new feature of this review…

Points of Argument: Smackdown obviously has a roster full of wrestlers that from top to bottom outshine the Raw talent. Smackdown can throw Lesnar, Angle, and Taker at you each week and the top three on Raw don't match the drawing power of those three men. That got me thinking. Would the man who controls the bees be the champion of the WWE if there were only one champion? Before Lesnar high tailed it to Smackdown with the WWE Title in tow, the WWE champion appeared on both Raw and Smackdown, which I thought was great because it provided an opportunity to see a fresh feud every month. So, what would happen if the WWE had only one championship belt? Who would control the bees? I don't know if Triple H would be able to justify holding the WWE Title for as long as he's held the World Title because he simply hasn't been able to deliver in the ring for the past few months due to various injuries. My pick would be either Lesnar or Angle to hold the title for the majority of the time. Who do you think would hold the title if the WWE didn't have a champion for each show? Would it be the master of the bees or would someone like Lesnar or Angle hold the title?

Let's take it to Tazz and Cole at ringside!

But first, on to my weekly picks…

Book of the Week: Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Themby Al Franken. This guy is really funny and he does a great job of exposing people who write without checking their facts. 

Game of the Week: Raw 2 on X-Box. It's the most wonderful time of the year! That's right, there is another wrestling game available and it's a good one. The graphics on this game are stunning and the game plays much better than the first Raw.

DVD pick of the week: Shrek . I love this movie. Mike Myers does a great job voicing the lovable Shrek.

Here is some breaking news!

*** The rumors have been circling around Smackdown that Vince has taken a look at last weeks ratings and has decided to cancel the Iron Man match. He has seen a huge increase in the ratings whenever Stephanie or The Hair Train appear on the screen by themselves, or better yet, at the same time. Vince mulled it over and has decided that the Iron Man match will be replaced with a 60-second runaway match between Steph and The Hair Train!

…And now, on to Smackdown!

1st Quarter Hour

Vince tells us that two world class athletes are going to attempt to raise the bar tonight. This is cool because it makes the match seem really important. Undertaker comes into the picture and says he's got no respect for Vince. Taker says he knows Vince sent Lesnar after him during his match. Taker tells Vince he doesn't forgive or forgot.

They put up the graphic showing the tale of the tape for the match between Angle and Lesnar.

(1) Rey Mysterio and Chris Benoit defeated Tajiri and Rhyno when Mysterio pinned Rhyno.
Tajiri will face Mysterio next week for the Cruiserweight Title. Benoit chops the crap out of Tajiri, but runs right into the Tarantula. Rhyno comes in without a tag and gives Benoit a spinebuster because Mysterio distracted the ref. Rhyno takes the advantage and goes for a belly to back suplex, but Benoit rolls it over for a two count. Benoit makes it to Mysterio, who hits Rhyno with a senton and follows that with an awesome moonsault onto Rhyno. Mysterio gets a two count, which was interrupted by Tajiri. The ref was distracted again, so Tajiri tried to spray Mysterio with the mist, but missed and hit Rhyno instead. The finish saw Mysterio hit the 619 on Rhyno and then dropped the dime for the pin.

Grade: 2 (Nearing Standard). This was a great match while it lasted. It was so fast, but one move that I missed in the match description was when Mysterio hit the 619 on Tajiri and Benoit was holding him and suplexed him, right out of the 619.

(Commercial Break)

Rock is going to be on the cover of GQ! ("Jesus Christ"-Credit Mr. Slave from South Park.)

2nd Quarter Hour

(2) Maniqua w/ the guys from Queer eye for the Straight Guy defeated Torrie and Nidia w/ Dawn Marie!

Torrie and Nidia attack Maniqua to start the match. Cole tries to cover for Maniqua by calling her an Amazon. Didn't they try that with Chyna? Maniqua gains the advantage and pounds on Torrie and Nidia. Nidia tries to roll her up, but Maniqua kicks out. Maniqua slams Torrie onto Nidia. Cole gets it right when he says Maniqua is the man in this match. Maniqua powerbombs the life out of Nidia and gets the pin.

Grade: 1(Below Standard). This was just a match to get Maniqua over as the next Chyna.

Dawn Marie comes in and she gets a face full of pole for her troubles (the pole in the corner of the ring).

Steph is backstage and Vince interrupts her on the phone. Vince says Steph's decision making last week was surprising. Steph says daddy can't make her quit. Show grabs Steph, but Vince says, "Down Show!" Show, like a good boy, complies. Steph asks the question we all have, "Why don't you just fire me?" Vince says he won't fire her and that she will wish she had just quit.

(Commercial Break)

Highlights air from the Lesnar-Angle matches at Summerslam and Wrestlemania.

Chavo and Eddie are backstage. They talk about their title shot tonight. Chavo says he is thinking about Eddie because tonight Eddie will be the US Champion and a Tag Team Champion. Eddie likes this idea.

(Commercial break)

3rd Quarter Hour

Cena is outside. He says he underestimated the Guerreros, but he will be back on top soon. Cena is entertaining on the mic, but needs to step it up in the ring a notch.



(3) Los Guerreros defeated TWGTT for the WWE Tag Team Titles when Eddie pinned Haas.
Eddie and Chavo took turns working over Benjamin at the beginning of the match. Benjamin makes his way to his own corner and tags in Haas. Benjamin tags back in and Eddie fights out and delivers a belly to belly suplex on Benjamin. Chavo tags in and fends off Benjamin Haas and hits an awesome looking tilt a whirl headscissors. Cole wonders if Los Guerreros will become tag champs, but we have another commercial break to attend to.

(Commercial Break)

The Guerreros have the upper hand when we get back from break. Chavo tags in and double teams Haas with Guerrero. Haas makes his way to Benjamin and tags him in. Chavo fights out and works him over in his own corner. Guerrero tags in and attempts a suplex, but for the second time tonight, the move is rolled over into a pin attempt. Eddie tags Chavo in and he charges at Haas, but he gets a boot and then Benjamin sneaks in a superkick. Haas goes to work on Chavo's shoulder. Haas throws Chavo shoulder first into the turnbuckle. Benjamin is tagged in and he applies an arm bar. Benjamin pushes Chavo back into his own corner and tags in Haas. Chavo fights out and hits a flying forearm. Chavo fights off Haas and tags in Eddie, but the ref didn't see it and he orders Eddie back to his corner. Benjamin and Haas double-team Chavo, but he leaps over Benjamin to tag in Eddie.

4th Quarter Hour

Guerrero does a combination old school/ headscissors move on Benjamin and Haas. Eddie goes to the top, Benjamin tries to knock him off, but Eddie kicks him to the floor. Eddie rolls through his frogsplash because he saw that Haas was going to roll away and the action spills outside. Benjamin tries to nail Eddie with a chair, but he ducks. Chavo hits Benjamin in the knee with a chair. Eddie hit a frogsplash on Haas, following a suplex by Chavo for the pinfall. Benjamin sold the chairshot like he had been shot with a rifle.

Grade: 3 (achieved the standard). This was a great match, involving four incredible wrestlers.

Angle-Lesnar is next. Tazz runs down his keys to victory. They are doing a top-notch job of hyping this match tonight, but these graphics should have been in place last week.

Let's roll up our sleeves and dig into the Iron Man match, which is next!

(Commercial Break)

Cole and Tazz hype the Iron Man Match. Tazz tells us this is going to be a classic.

Some wrestlers are watching backstage on a monitor.

The APA is backstage, drinking with The Ultimo Dragon and others! Behind Bradshaw is some woman? She gets more airtime than Spanky?

Cole and Tazz run down the rules of the Iron Man match. This has unforgettable written all over it.

(4) Brock Lesnar defeated Kurt Angle in an Iron Man match for the WWE Title.

Lesnar opens up with a cheap shot and stomps away at Angle. Lesnar chokes Angle in the corner with his boot. Lesnar whips Angle across the ring and chokes him with his boot in the other corner. Angle finally takes the advantage with a clothesline and hits a huge belly to belly suplex. The crowd chants, "You tapped out" at Lesnar. Brock goes to the outside and comes back in. Brock calls a timeout and favors his knee. Lesnar was playing possum and he nails Angle with a kick. Angle hits a couple of arm drags and tosses Lesnar out of the ring.


5th Quarter Hour

Lesnar stalls outside of the ring. Angle tells him to bring it on, but Lesnar keeps bailing. Lesnar finally comes back into the ring. Angle goes for Lesnar's ankle, so he bails to the outside. Lesnar baits Angle in and snaps his head over the top rope. Lesnar pounds away at Angle and chokes him again with his boot. Angle hits a huge belly to belly suplex and clotheslines Lesnar over the top rope. Brock holds his knee, which Cole claims to be injured. Angle goes to the outside and punches away at Lesnar. Angle throws Lesnar headfirst onto the steel steps. Lesnar throws a knee into Angle's gut and drives him into the ring apron. Brock follows that up by throwing Angle spine first into the steel post. Lesnar pounds away on Angle with a steel chair, which gives Angle a 1-0 lead via DQ. Brock smiles and goes to the announcing table, where the Cole gives him a bottle of water? Cole is a waterboy now, I guess. Lesnar kicks away at Angle and pounds on his back. Brock picks Angle up and gives him a huge F-5 to tie the score 1-1. Lesnar smiles and Tazz says that he gets that Lesnar used the steel chair to weaken Angle. That's some deep insight, Tazz. Brock kicks away at Angle and talks some trash in his ear. Tazz says that Brock fights to win. Lesnar applies the anklelock and Angle taps to give Lesnar a 2-1 lead.

(Commercial Break) Damn! Damn! DAMN! I hope there are not many of these. Great build to this match in the early stages.

During the break, Lesnar tried an Angle-Slam, but Kurt kicked out. Lesnar still has the advantage and works on Kurt in the corner.

6th Quarter Hour

Lesnar drives his shoulder into Angle's stomach. Angle battles back with some right hands and knocks Lesnar down with a forearm and connects with three German Suplexes, the third one being released. Lesnar throws Angle out of the ring, through the second rope. Brock whips Angle into the barricade, but is favoring his knee. Ric Flair would love to work on Brock's injury. Lesnar gives Angle another F-5 outside of the ring. Cole reminds us that there is very little padding on the outside. Lesnar makes it into the ring before the ten count, but Angle doesn't. Brock leads 3-1.

(Commercial break) The commercial breaks are Fast and Furious tonight as Vin Diesel would say or mumble incoherently.

Angle is in control when we come back. Kurt Angle hit two huge belly to belly suplexes to gain the advantage. Lesnar hit a nice shoulder block, which sent Angle out of the ring. Cole says that Angle must still be feeling the effects of the chairshots from earlier in the match. Lesnar chokes Angle in the corner and then drags him to the center of the ring and drives his elbow into Angle's chest. Lesnar goes for a pin, but Angle kicks out. Lesnar works Angle over in the corner, but Angle ducks a clothesline and gives Lesnar an Angle-Slam for a pinfall. The score is now 3-2 in the favor of Lesnar. Cole says that the WWE has been granted permission to go into overtime if the match is tied after 60 minutes. Nice touch from the WWE because Cole's comment adds some mystery to the outcome of the match. Angle kicks away at Lesnar, who is struggling to make it to his feet. Angle pounds away at Lesnar in the corner, but Lesnar fight out. Angle ducks a clothesline and gives Lesnar a German Suplex. Angle goes for an Angle-Slam, but Lesnar counters it into an F-5 attempt, which Angle counters. Angle applies the anklelock, but Lesnar doesn't tap out. Lesnar gets up and tries to clothesline Angle, but nails the ref. Angle hits an Angle-Slam, but the ref can't count the fall. Brock gives Kurt a low blow, but it doesn't count as a DQ because the ref is still down. Brock goes to the outside and attacks the guy who rings the bell. Lesnar grabs the WWE Title and nails Angle in the head with it. Cole says that Lesnar will go to any lengths to win this match. Brock "wakes" the ref up, who counts the pin. Lesnar leads 4-2. I love how the ref just regains his bearings after appearing to be dead for ten minutes.  

(Commercial break) I'd love to see this match unedited.

7th Quarter Hour

(Commercial Break)

*** Questions for the next half-hour:
1) How many times will Cole refer to Lesnar as a monster?
2) Who was that woman behind Bradshaw?
3) Will we go into overtime on UPN?
4) How many times will we see an ad for the Wrestlemania game for Gamecube tonight?

When we come back from the break, Angle has the advantage on the outside of the ring as he throws Brock knee first into the ring steps. Angle hits an axe handle from the top rope. Angle rolls Lesnar into the ring, but only gets a two count. Angle hits a missile dropkick from the top rope, but Lesnar kicks out. Angle goes for a moonsault, but Lesnar rolls out of the way. I haven't seen Angle do that in awhile. Angle rolls Lesnar up for a two count and gets up right into a clothesline from Lesnar. Lesnar picks Angle up and just throws Angle over his back for a two count. Lesnar goes for another belly to belly suplex, but Angle counters it into an anklelock. Brock powers out and throws Angle to the outside. Brock goes to the outside and whips Angle into the steps, which are getting a ton of abuse tonight. Lesnar throws Angle back into the ring and covers Angle, but he kicks out. Lesnar goes to the outside and grabs the top part of the steps. Lesnar tries to put them in the ring, but Angle kicks them into his face. Angle throws Brock back into the ring and gets a couple of two counts. My fingers hurt. Angle puts the boots to Lesnar in the corner. Angle goes for a cover after a shoulder block, but Lesnar kicks out and we go to break.

(Commercial break) It should be interesting to see if Angle is able to overcome a two-fall deficit.

We come back from the break. We see that Lesnar hit a superplex during the break for a fall and he now leads 5-2 on Angle. I don't like the fact that they had a fall during the break. Lesnar and Angle are on the outside now.

8th Quarter Hour

Lesnar tries to F-5 Angle into the pole, but Angle escapes and throws Lesnar head-first into the pole. Kurt picks up Lesnar and F-5's him into the steel post! Angle applies a single leg Boston Crab in the ring. Lesnar goes for the ropes, but Angle pulls him back into the anklelock. Brock makes it to the ropes and breaks the hold. Angle goes after Lesnar's knee, but Lesnar pushes him off and connects with an F-5 on one knee. Lesnar is slow to get up and cover Angle. Angle kicks out at the last millisecond. Lesnar goes up to the top rope and Billy Kidman is pissed somewhere in the back. Angle meets him there and hits a belly to belly from the top rope for a pinfall. Lesnar leads 5-3. Both men are on the ground. Cole calls this part of the match the 4th quarter. Both men make it to their feet at 7. Angle and Lesnar exchange punches, but Kurt takes the advantage. Angle pounds away on Lesnar in the corner. Angle walks away exhausted. The crowd chants for Angle. Angle hits a nice suplex and puts his straps back on and then takes them off while stalking Lesnar. Lesnar counters an Angle-Slam attempt into a DDT, but Angle kicks out. Lesnar hits three release German Suplexes. This has been a great match. Lesnar goes for fourth, but Angle reverses it and hits two release German Suplexes of his own. Angle goes for a third, but Lesnar reverses it and goes for a German Suplex of his own. Angle rolls through and applies the anklelock. Lesnar goes for the ropes on all sides of the ring, but Angle drags him to the center of the ring. Lesnar taps out and he leads 5-4. Both men are laid out on the mat. Cole reminds us that UPN has granted permission for overtime, which would be awesome. Angle applies the anklelock, but Lesnar powers out and throws Angle off. Kurt applies the freestyle bow and arrow, but Lesnar breaks the hold. Lesnar rolls out of the ring and Angle follows him. Angle kicks at Lesnar's ankle and applies the anklelock on the outside. Angle rolls Lesnar back into the ring, but Lesnar rolls back out. Angle throws him head first into the steel steps. Angle hits a series of German Suplexes on Lesnar. This is great drama. Lesnar grabs the ref and low blows Angle. Angle applies the anklelock and twists at Lesnar's ankle desperately. Time runs out and Lesnar wins 5-4.

Grade: 20(Obliterated the standard). It gave me chills to watch this match, especially at the end. I can't describe how great the build of this match was. It reminded me of a play with 4-5 acts. Everything was in place with a fantastic beginning, middle and end.

Angle showed some good emotion over losing the match. Lesnar laughs as Smackdown goes off the air.

Radican's reaction:It's hard to put into words the job that Angle and Lesnar did during the Iron Man match. I think this match solidifies Angle and Lesnar as truly great wrestlers like Taker, Rock, Austin, and Triple H. It is difficult to comprehend how Smackdown can be so bad like it was last week and be incredible like it was this week. The early matches were very good as well with the exception of the Maniqua vs. Nidia and Torrie match. Smackdown had several nice touches to hype the Iron Man match tonight. Tazz's keys to victory and the tale of the tape were very effective in putting the match over. I don't see how the WWE can get any better than this. A must see show for any wrestling fan.

Drum roll please…

There were four matches for a total of 16 available points to be had for Smackdown this week. Smackdown scored a 26, giving it an A. I'm not going to give it an A+ because the match with Maniqua did not add anything to the show.

The Torch bachelor, Sean Radican, is looking forward to the weekend. He can only be found reviewing Smackdown each and every week. He would like to remind you to always be honest with yourself and others. He encourages you to send any kind of feedback, hate mail, love, or criticism to s_radican@yahoo.com.

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