By Sean Radican, Torch Team Phenomenon

WWE Smackdown Review
September 11, 2003
Taped 9/4
Aired on UPN

Will Smackdown meet standard this week?

The Big Picture: Last week was a solid show, which re-established Brock Lesnar as a monster. After having a week to reflect on last week's episode, I do have to say that the segment went on too long, but it was effective. This week, John Cena will face Eddie Guerrero in a streetfight, which should be off the charts. I expect these two to tear the house down tonight. I also look for Brock Lesnar to come after Kurt Angle this week as they head into their Iron Man match next Thursday. No. That's not a typo. Brock Lesnar is going to face Kurt Angle in a 60-minute iron man match. I almost wish it were on this week, but I suppose anticipating anything the WWE puts on TV is a step in the right direction for this company. I remember the days I would anticipate RAW and it would deliver almost every single week in a big way. I think this match is a step in the right direction for the WWE. Putting on an Iron Man match has to draw some kind of rating I would think, especially with two of the more gifted wrestlers on the planet going for sixty minutes. There are three things I hope for from this match. The first thing I hope for is that the match goes for sixty minutes and there are no pin falls. The second thing I hope for is that there are no commercial breaks during the match. The third thing I hope for is that this match goes into overtime to decide a winner. I have a feeling the title won't change hands on TV, but if it ever were to change hands on TV, this would be the match to do it in. It would make for better TV if Kurt Angle chased Brock Lesnar for the title.

On to my weekly pics!

Book of the week: MonsterThis is a powerful look into the life of a young black man, who is on Trial for murder.

DVD of the week: Ring of Honor 8/24/02 The wrestling on this DVD is incredible. Do yourself a favor and check out any ROH video, but this one is a keeper.

Game of the week: Could it be anything other than Wrestlemania 19 for Gamecube? This game brings me back to the glory days of No Mercy on N64.

First quarter hour

Smackdown opens with a graphic remembering the people lost on 9/11/01. May the people who died rest in peace.

A shot of the parking lot being set up with cars for the match between Guerrero-Cena is shown.

(1) Tajiri & Nunzio defeated Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman when Tajiri pinned Mysterio. Nunzio attacks Mysterio right away. Mysterio puts a boot in Nunzio's face and lands a nice tilt a whirl headscissors. Kidman tags in and Tajiri takes the advantage. Tajiri is a heel now I guess. Nunzio tags in and goes to work on Kidman. Nunzio takes Kidman down with a headlock. Kidman battles out, but is met with a Jawbreaker from Nunzio. Kidman hits a dropkick and tries to tag out, but Tajiri walks over him and hits Mysterio off the apron. Kidman fights back and goes for a tag, but Mysterio is on the floor. Kidman nails a sit down powerbomb, and tags in Mysterio, who hits a sit down senton and a flying body press. Mysterio hits a reverse 619 after ducking a handspring elbow attempt from Tajiri. Kidman kicked Tajiri into position for the 619, but he was playing possum and ducked. Tajiri hit a HUGE kick on Mysterio for the pin.

Grade: 2 (Nearing the standard). This was a good match, but very short. These three would have been good for about 30 minutes on a PPV, but that won't happen any time soon.

After the match, Tajiri hit Mysterio with the Cruiserweight Title.

Vince is backstage with Show and Sable. He's asking if they should send Zach some panties or roses. They pick roses and Steph shows up. They exchange pleasantries. Steph blames Vince for what happened to Zach Gown last week. She says he just wanted to lure Zach to the arena last week. Vince says that anyone who knows him, knows he wouldn't set up Zach. Steph says she knows Vince better than everyone else and that he in fact is responsible. Steph says Brock is reliability to Smackdown. Brock shows up and tells Steph he is going to become the new three-time WWE champion. Brock tells Steph he needs a warm up match tonight. Brock says he wants to fight Kurt Angle, The Undertaker, and Zach Gowen. Steph points out that Zach can't wrestle. Brock says he needs a test. Brock says he's already fought Show and Vince. He points at Sable and tells her she must remember. Brock says he hasn't wrestled Steph yet. Great, another McMahon in the ring. Vince talks about the match and Show says it's money in the bank. Funny. Vince says Steph can get out of the match if she quits as GM. Steph walks away looking like someone who was told their creative ideas suck.

(Commercial Break)

Second Quarter Hour

Nidia and Torrie approach Dawn Marie! Backstage. Nidia asks Dawn why she wants to fight Maniqua. Dawn says she is going to stop Maniqua tonight. Nidia and Torrie look concerned.

(2) Dawn Marie defeated Maniqua via DQ. Maniqua hits a huge clothesline on Dawn Marie and then throws her out of the ring. Cole gets it right when he says Maniqua is scary. Maniqua pounds on Dawn Marie on the outside. Maniqua grabs a steel chair and the ref throws the match out. Nidia and Torrie run in and Torrie takes a steel chair to Maniqua's back. Maniqua almost hits Nidia, Dawn Marie, and Torrie with a chair by throwing it from the ring to the entrance ramp.

Grade:1(Below Standard). Are you kidding? That was a waste of five minutes!
(Commercial Break)

Steph is backstage and Sable comes into the room. Sable says she wouldn't want to subject herself to Brock Lesnar's brutality. She says Steph will be mangled. Sable hints that a certain someone would be capable enough to take over as GM.

Cole and Tazz hype the Iron Man match next week.

Third Quarter Hour

(3) Chris Benoit defeated Rhyno via submission. Rhyno starts out with the advantage. Benoit locks the crossface in right away, but Rhyno reaches the ropes. Benoit pummels Rhyno in the corner and hits a nice snap suplex. Benoit hits a huge chop on Rhyno. Rhyno sticks his thumb in Benoit's eye and Benoit rolls to the outside. A-Train attacks Benoit and throws him into the steel post, but Benoit kicks out. Cole is going nuts and they cut to commercial break.

(Commercial Break)

We are back from the break and Cole makes his weekly apology for breaking away from a match. I can't wait for this to happen next week during the Iron Man match. Rhyno hits a huge Superplex, but Benoit kicks out. Rhyno is about as exciting as Lance Storm these days. How did they get that Rhyno sucks chant pumped in? Rhyno locks in a sharpshooter on Benoit. Benoit struggles to the ropes and eventually reaches them. Rhyno hits a clothesline and looks spent from pounding on Benoit. Benoit ducks a clothesline and apples a sharpshooter of his own. Rhyno crawls to the ropes to break the hold. Benoit ducks a clothesline and hits a nice release German Suplex. Benoit goes for his flying headbutt and Rhyno meets him at the top rope. Benoit fights him off and hits a sunset flip powerbomb for a two count. Rhyno gets up and hits Benoit with a spinebuster. I guess the old powerbomb doesn't have the impact it once did. In an awesome sequence, Rhyno goes for the Gore, but Benoit catches him in mid-air and apples the crossface for the victory.

Grade: 3(Achieved the standard) This was a good television match.

The APA are playing poker backstage and Bruce gets them some beer. Shannon Moore comes in and Hardy yells at him because he forgot the pulp in his OJ. Hardy makes a comment about the APA needing to enter 12step program for their drinking and the APA replies that Hardy needs a 12-step program to get Moore out of his ass. The APA drinks to the police and firefighters that served during 9/11. Very classy touch from the WWE.

Cena is outside looking at the circle of cars that will make up the battle area for his match against Guerrero. Cena says it's his house. Word Life!

Fourth quarter hour

(Commercial Break)

Cena cuts a freestyle promo on Guerrero. Guerrero arrives in his low-rider.

(4) Eddie Guerrero defeated John Cena in a parking lot brawl. Cena attacks Guerrero and throws him on the hood of one of the cars. Guerrero does the same and tries to suplex Guerrero, but Cena reverses it into a suplex onto the roof of the car. Cena goes into the back of a mini van and takes out a lawnmower and tries to use it on Guerrero, but he countered it. Cena throws Guerrero off the hood of another car and goes and gets a shovel. Guerrero ducks the shovel and throws Cena face first into the hood. Guerrero opens a car door on Cena's head. Guerrero hangs Cena with the seatbelt and hits him several times in the face. Cena kicks Guerrero in the knees and throws him into the trunk of a car. Cena goes to open the trunk, but Eddie opens it in his face. Cena throws Guerrero through a windshield for a two count. Eddie gets up and throws Cena headfirst through the driver's window. Cena gets up and throws Eddie headfirst through a window. Cena gets a two count. A bunch of superstars come to cheer them on. Cena gets into a car, but Guerrero gets in and slams his head into the wheel. Funaki is even in the mix! Guerrero charges at Cena, but he gives Guerrero a backdrop onto the hood for a two count.

Fifth Quarter Hour

Cena goes for an FU on the hood, but Guerrero escapes, Chavo hits Cena over the head and Eddie hits a frog splash on the hood of a car for the pin.

Grade: 2(Nearing the standard). I was expecting more from these two. This match didn't do too much for me; it was just there. The end was good due to Guerrero's frog splash onto the hood of a car.

(Commercial Break)
(5) The APA defeated Shannon Moore & Matt Hardy when Bradshaw hit Moore with the clothesline from hell.. Matt Facts: Matt rarely uses turn signals and Matt's entertainment system has five remotes. Moore tries to attack Faarooq from behind, but that doesn't work. Moore pushes Faarooq and he turns around and pounds him with a right hand. Matt Hardy tags in and he's got new tights. Faarooq hits a nice powerslam on Hardy. Bradshaw tags in and hits a suplex on Hardy. Hardy tags in Moore. Bradshaw tosses him around and lands an elbow for a two count. Bradshaw hits a swinging neckbreaker and sets up a powerbomb, but Hardy breaks it up. The finish saw Brashshaw hit the clothesline from hell on Moore.

Bruce came out after the match and serves The APA beer on a platter.

Grade: 1 (Below standard). Another short match that failed to showcase the talents of Hardy and Moore, who were treated like jobbers in this match. Doesn't the WWE realize that in order to build attendance at house shows, the audience has to care about the mid-card wrestlers?

Sixth Quarter Hour

A nice video package, highlighting Brock Lesnar's exploits from last week airs. Another great package from the WWE.

(Commercial break)

Maniqua will take on Torrie & Nidia next week! Yay! (Credit Special Ed from Crank Yankers)

Vince comes out and introduces the man who next week will be WWF Champion Brock Lesnar! Vince demands some applause for Brock Lesnar. The crowd chants, "You tapped out," at Brock Lesnar. Vince says Steph has to make her decision now. Vince says he doesn't have all night. This is a pathetic main event. Steph comes out and looks like she saw HHH the first time he shaved his golden globes in front of her. Vince asks her if she actually going to do this. Steph says she isn't going to quit. I'm shocked. Vince tells Steph that she is defying him. Vince says Steph is calling him out. He says that she thinks he won't unleash Brock Lesnar on her.

(6) Steph vs. Brock Lesnar went to a no contest. Brock attacks Steph, but she nails Brock in the sack. Vince pulls her back in and she gives him a low blow too. Steph tries to run, but Brock catches her and throws her into the barricade. Brock sits down next to Steph and tells her he's got a nice set of stairs for her. This is really offensive. Lesnar throws the steps at Steph, but she gets out of the way. Steph runs out of the arena and Brock follows her. Brock comes back out with Steph on his shoulders and Vince smiles. Kurt Angle comes out and attacks Lesnar. Vince tries to stop him, but Angle sends him to the floor. Brock tries to F-5 Angle, but Angle escapes and throws Brock into the post. Brock runs up the ramp and that's it for tonight.

Grade: 0 (This was a failure as a main event).

Radican's Reaction:Stephanie McMahon and Vince McMahon, Stephanie McMahon and Vince McMahon, Stephanie McMahon and Vince McMahon. That is all that goes through my head after watching this show. I don't recall the Cena-Guerrero brawl, and I barely remember that there is an Iron Man match next week. I take back what I said before; no one will tune into the Iron Man match because no one is going to know about it. This was a pathetic effort tonight from the creative team, who dropped the ball when it came to hyping the Iron Man match.

Grade: Drum roll please! Smackdown scored 9 points out of a possible 24, giving it a F. This show was a big letdown, considering the WWE had the opportunity to hook more viewers in for next weeks Iron Man match.

Sean Radican can only be found writing his Smackdown review each and every Thursday. He would appreciate any comment, question, and hate mail from some of you ROH fans out there. He would like to wish his friend Erin a very happy birthday. Hooray for the weekend!

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