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CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT RESULTS 5/19: Complete "virtual-time" coverage of "Impact Wrestling" era, Sacrifice fall-out and Slammiversary hype

May 19, 2011 - 10:05:42 PM
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TNA Impact Wrestling Results
May 19, 2011
Taped 5/16 in Orlando, Fla.
Aired on Spike TV
Report by James Caldwell, PWTorch assistant editor


[Q1] This week's TNA Impact Wrestling show opened with a video package recapping events from the Sacrifice PPV, notably Karen Jarrett getting hers from Kurt Angle and Chyna. Also, Sting talked about RVD throwing his "martial arts" at him, but still retaining the TNA Title. Show Title: "Back from the dead." Cue up a new video intro set to the sky blue color scheme focused on individual stars.

Impact Wrestling Zone: And the Impact Wrestling era started exactly how the Impact era started for the past year: Immortal's theme music and non-wrestlers walking to the ring. Taz chuckled to himself about the new blue color scheme as Bischoff led Immortal, sans Hulk Hogan, into the ring. Bischoff, acting self-satisfied with himself, said Mick Foley is the last person who should be representing a new wrestling era. After undercutting last week's big reveal, Bischoff noted Hulk Hogan is in New York City meeting with Foley and Network executives as they speak. Since neither is here tonight, Bischoff, Flair, and Immortal are in charge. Bischoff said it's their show. Anyone who gets in their way will pay the price.

Cue up Brian Kendrick's theme music for an interruption. Kendrick was flanked by the random trio of X Division wrestlers Amazing Red and Generation Me. Kendrick asked Bischoff if he's accusing wrestlers of getting his way on a wrestling show. They randomly cut to the middle of Kendrick's promo on Bischoff, who slipped out of the ring and told Kendrick they can handle this like professionals. Bischoff said he's here to make history tonight by single-handedly wiping out the X Division once and for all.

Bischoff told Kendrick that X Division champ Kazarian will face Abyss tonight since there's no weight limits in the X Division. Next, Moderately Mild Red gets Samoa Joe. And, GenMe gets to step into the ring with one of their idols, Matt Hardy. Bischoff noted he'll be with Hardy as his partner. Kendrick asked Bischoff what about him. Bischoff said he forgot about Kendrick. Bischoff slapped Kendrick, then sent Immortal to beat down the X Division unit. The fight spilled into the ring where Immortal easily cleaned house before Fortune stormed the ring to bring the fight. Tenay said there's no A.J. Styles after what happened at Sacrifice.

Fortune eventually cleared Immortal from the ring, then the fight resumed on the floor with a shaky handheld camera trying to make it seem like the action was too intense to keep up with. The two sides eventually separated, then Flair kept screaming something inaudible into the mic. The fight continued with the X Division wrestlers getting involved to back Fortune. Cue up a flying spot by Generation Me, then Amazing Red flying on Abyss. The announcers said it's a wild, crazy, out-of-control start to Impact. Didn't TNA go through this era last year? The action continued all over ringside before Immortal eventually retreated to the stage. "Roode, Roode, Roode, Roode, Roode!" Flair shouted. He needed to talk to him. Flair told Roode that when he calls, Roode marches.

Up next: Six-Knockouts tag match washed out in blue. ... Backstage: They focused on someone's legs, with the person dressed in old-school Sting gear.

[Commercial Break] [Q2]

1 -- MADISON RAYNE & KO tag champions SARITA & ROSITA vs. KO champion MICKIE JAMES & TARA & MISS TESSMACHER

Prior to the match, the announcers recapped events at Sacrifice when Tara helped Mickie defeat Madison. Also prior to the match, Hernandez and Anarquia came out on-stage in support of Sarita & Rosita before joining commentary. The match built to Tara getting her hands on Madison, then the action broke down in and out of the ring. Suddenly, it came down to Tara, Madison, and Rosita. So, Madison threw Rosita to Tara, who delivered a sit-out bomb for the win. Madison then high-tailed it to the outside to taunt Tara that she can't get her.

WINNERS: Team Tara at 4:19. Simple build-up for the next phase of Tara and Madison's feud. Mickie doesn't have a clear next opponent for the Knockouts Title, though. (*)

Up Next: Abyss vs. Kazarian in a Sin Cara Blue Light special match. At least the graphics package stands out more and they're two-for-two promoting matches going into commercial, but, otherwise, it's the same old booking crew in charge of this.

[Commercial Break. End Q2 - Two full commercial breaks, with TNA trying to offset the breaks with a typically highly-rated Knockouts match.]

[Q3] Back on the show, they showed the mysterious legs of the old-school Sting person.

Impact Zone: Tenay said if Bischoff has his way, the following could be the final X Division Title match ever. Strike 1. Before Abyss came out, Bischoff pulled Abyss aside and told him to destroy Kazarian and take the title. Abyss then came out as Tenay talked about Bischoff's quest to rid the X Division of TNA. X champ Kazarian then came out for his second title defense this week after Kazarian thwarted Max Buck at Sacrifice. This is the third or fourth instance of showing real-time footage from the PPV through half-an-hour, reminding viewers why they don't need to order the PPVs.

2 -- X Division champion KAZARIAN vs. ABYSS -- X Division Title match

The bell sounded and Tenay re-stressed this could be the final X Division Title match. Taz said he agrees with Bischoff the X Division wrestlers need to get out of Bischoff's face. Tenay defended the X Division as a cornerstone of TNA since its inception. The match started and the announcers focused on Bischoff getting in the ring again. "Impact Wrestling: Where Bischoff Matters." Tenay continued to talk up the X Division's roots in TNA while Taz said he believes the X Division guys went about this the wrong way.

In the ring, Kazarian scored a missile dropkick that put both men on the mat. Kaz followed with a huracanrana and springboard back-elbow smash for a two count. Abyss and Kaz traded nearfalls with the crowd mic'ed up to sound very invested in the action. Abyss then caught Kaz with the Shock Treatment, but missed with a corner Vader Bomb. Abyss favored his right knee and the referee demanded Kaz give Abyss some space. Abyss then suckered Kaz in with a boot to the face before landing the Black Hole Slam. Abyss with the cover and the win. Taz wondered aloud about the future of the X Division. Tenay noted Abyss out-smarted Kazarian. Taz weirdly said the Internet is burning up right now. Does TNA think this is like Christian dropping the title after two days? Tenay then wondered if there will even be an X Division anymore after this. Cut to commercial.

WINNER: Abyss at 5:02 to capture the X Division Title. Strike Two... Does TNA think there's interest in an X Division "brand" that general viewers would care if it's here or not? It's about individual feuds with interesting wrestlers striving for goals and championships competing against each other. This whole angle is merely a small-minded attempt by TNA to play to the audience that follows the product closely through the Internet. (*1/2)

[Commercial Break]

Impact Zone: Back in the arena, Amazing Red's music was playing in the background as Gunner was shown walking down a hallway vowing to do something. In the arena, Samoa Joe came out to face Amazing Red. Tenay talked up Joe's Unbeaten Streak when he debuted in TNA. Cue up a video package from Joe's glory days in TNA. That seems so long ago.

3 -- SAMOA JOE vs. AMAZING RED

Red charged Joe, who threw Red across the ring. Joe pounded on Red as Taz noted this is part of Bischoff's plan to destroy the X Division. Meanwhile, Tenay said Kaz is being checked for a back injury after the title match. Joe then nailed the Muscle buster and pinned Red in under one minute.

Post-match: Crimson hit the ring and the fight was on between Joe and Crimson. The bell continued to sound, then Crimson easily lifted Joe up for a t-bone suplex that cleared Joe to the outside. The announcers briefly noted the brotherly storyline relationship between Red and Crimson.

WINNER: Joe at 0:49. One step forward, one step backward for Joe, who looked good in the squash, then looked conquerable with how easily Crimson handled him in the post-match. (n/a)

[Q4] Still to come: Bischoff and Hardy face Generation Me.

[Commercial Break]

Impact Zone: Back on the show, Styles was in the ring sporting a neckbrace. Styles called out Tommy Dreamer, telling him they need to talk. Styles clutched the neckbrace again. Why is he in a neckbrace? Cue up Dreamer's music and out came Dreamer trying to look like he's 30-years-old again. Taz loosely hinted at Styles being in the brace because of Dreamer's piledriver at Sacrifice. An ugly piledriver through a table, where Dreamer appeared to take the majority of the blow? Credit TNA for re-writing history since a limited audience saw the PPV. Tenay also noted Storm suffered a concussion during the opening brawl.

With Dreamer in the ring, Styles said he will be in the brace for the next few weeks, per doctor's orders. Styles said it's because Dreamer gave him a piledriver through a table. Styles said that's maybe he's dumb because he came back too early, but he wrestles for a living. Styles asked why they went out there at Sacrifice and tried to kill each other. Styles said he got a glimpse of the bigger picture involving Hogan and Bully Ray. Styles said he gets it that Dreamer's contract would cease to exist, so he doesn't hold him responsible for Sacrifice. He said he would have done the same thing if he were in the same position. Styles put his hand on Dreamer's shoulder and said wrestling matters to both of them.

Dreamer responded by quietly asking if Styles thinks he could have beaten him without the hurt neck. He asked if Styles doesn't appreciate what he did for this business. (Typical TNA faux storytelling when it should be about whether you've won or lost matches.) Dreamer said he built a company and didn't have his hand held through it. (More of that "insider talk" meaningless drivel.) He said he wrestled hurt and wasn't paid for it. Well, there's a reason for that. Dreamer said when he piledrove Styles, he did it because he was forced to do it. Now, he's doing what he's doing because he wants to do it. Dreamer smashed Styles and cut a promo on Styles and the fans while delivering stomps and kicks. Dreamer claimed the crowd had forgotten what he's done. Styles then turned the tables, but Dreamer grabbed him by the neck to throw Styles down.

Daniels stormed the ring to make the save and ask Dreamer what happened to him. Dreamer stared Daniels down, then Dreamer came back to get some of Daniels, who intercepted him with stomps and kicks. Suddenly, Bully Ray came in the back door to smash Styles from behind with the steel chain. Ray then dropped Daniels with a boot to the face. Ray swung his chain around before Dreamer lifted up Styles to give him a piledriver. Tenay asked what's wrong with this guy as they cut to break before the top of the hour.

[Commercial Break]

[Q5 -- second hour started with Impact on commercial]

Backstage: They returned from break three minutes into the second hour with a shot of the old-school Sting person walking down the hallway.

Impact Zone: Kurt Angle's music played and Angle walked out to the ring looking very happy with events from Sacrifice. Angle declared the "bitch" is dead. And the crowd applauded. Angle said that after months and months, the pain in his ass is gone. Angle gave the credit to Chyna for helping dispose of Karen Jarrett after being in hiatus for ten years. He asked if anyone saw the match. Angle said Chyna planted that "bitch's" face into the mat before breaking her ankle. Angle looked into the camera and thanked Chyna for her service.

Now, onto other business, Angle gets Jarrett one-on-one again at Slammiversary. He said he just got off the phone with Mick Foley, who has added a special stipulation to the match. Winner is #1 contender to the World Title. Angle told Jarrett: "Someone's ass is going to be tapping that night, bitch." More of that vile Impact language on the show.

Cue up Jarrett's theme music for the interruption. Jarrett came out to the ring and told Angle to ask Foley why he deserves one final match with him. Jarrett sniffled, then told Angle he can cry foul all he wants, but every time he's faced him in the ring, he's defeated him. Sniffle. Jarrett told Kurt he can put all the heat on Karen, but they know it's total b.s. Jeff told Kurt he allowed himself to be distracted with his mental incompetence. Jeff said he kept his eye on the ball and never allowed any distractions because he was better than him. "Kurt, I am better than you," he said in Kurt's face.

Jeff re-paced the ring and said he can't figure out why someone like Angle comes out here and makes excuses. He said if Angle wants to go one final time at Slammiversary, then he's up for that. But, if Angle really thinks he's better than him, then he'll have no problem agreeing to this one stipulation: Angle's Olympic gold medal on the line. Whaddya say, Kurt? Jeff extended his hand, Kurt smiled, and shook. Kurt then pulled Jeff in close and told him something.

Suddenly, Jarrett's music hit again. Karen Jarrett emerged on-stage using Kurt's ring entrance. She was in wheelchair with a big smile on her face. Karen vowed to be ringside at Slammiversary. Suddenly, Velvet Sky walked up behind an unsuspecting Karen as she was telling Kurt that he will never take her out. Velvet then yanked the mic away from Karen and asked if she wants to go for a ride. Velvet sent Karen down the ramp to crash into Jeff ringside. Velvet and Kurt shared a big laugh as the announcers recapped the angle.

Backstage: Max and Jeremy were shown in the locker room talking about the tension between them lately. Max said they need to put those things aside for the good of the X Division. Max said they'll go back to figuring this out after they take care of Bischoff and Hardy.

Backstage: Elsewhere, in Bischoff's office, Eric took a phone call from Hogan. Bischoff had a big smile on his face as Hogan apparently worked The Network execs with Foley in the room. Bischoff said he's taking out some vanilla (bleeps) tonight. Bischoff said he'll call him when it's over.

[Commercial Break] [Q6]

Backstage: Jeff was on the phone with Karen screaming at him. Jeff confirmed with Bischoff that it's a done deal. He said Velvet is never sticking her nose in their business again since she has Angelina Love and Winter tonight in a handicap match.

Impact Zone: GenMe were already in the ring for the featured match of the night. Cue up Immortal's music to bring out a determined Bischoff in his karate gi and Hardy all-smiles.

4 -- ERIC BISCHOFF & MATT HARDY vs. GENERATION ME (MAX BUCK & JEREMY BUCK)

Jackson James (unacknowledged son of Eric) was the referee here. Is there a likable babyface in this match for viewers to root for? GenMe started things off working on Hardy's left arm. Jeremy taunted the non-wrestler, Eric, who pointed at him from the ring apron. Hardy then executed the side effect on Jeremy for a one count. Eric said he wants to finish them off, so Hardy landed another side effect. Hardy then locked in a cravate looking to wear down Jeremy, who fought back, allowing GenMe to double-team Hardy. Taz continued to side with Bischoff as Hardy fought off a two-on-one to resume control of the match. The announcers continued to focus on themselves before Jeremy came off the top with a big splash to Hardy's back for a nearfall.

Tenay suddenly got excited and relayed some information for next week that a big wrestling main event is going down...actually, two non-wrestlers, Hogan and Foley, will both be returning to the show next week. In the ring, Hardy slapped the Ice Pick on Max to wear him down, then tagged in Bischoff for his first appearance in the match. Bischoff measured Max and attempted a roundhouse kick, then another martial arts kick. Careful editing here. Bischoff made the cover on Max and scored a five count for the win. Bischoff, Hardy, and Jackson then stood tall center-ring as Tenay asked if that was the final bullet in the X Division.

WINNERS: Bischoff & Hardy at 6:09.

Somewhere: Winter talked to a zoned-out Angelina about re-visiting a different time and a different place. Winter then dragged her away.

[Commercial Break] [Q7]

Impact Zone: Christy Hemme introduced the Knockouts handicap match up next. Out came Winter, followed by her rail-thin subject, Angelina Love. Velvet then came out trying to sell determination with the task at hand.

5 -- ANGELINA LOVE & WINTER vs. VELVET SKY -- handicap match

It's worth noting TNA hasn't announced a main event yet for this week's first official show in the Impact Wrestling era. The crowd tried to rally behind underdog Velvet throughout the match as she faced tough odds. Angelina, whose weakness as a person in a trance is she can't focus on the task at hand, lost control of the match, allowing Velvet to score a quick pin. After the match, a mystery woman suddenly jumped Velvet. It was a returning ODB, who choked her out ringside.

WINNER: Velvet at 4:36.

Up Next: Flair and Roode "showdown."

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Miss Tessmacher was randomly checking herself out. Eric Young was then shown sitting in a director's chair telling her she wasn't doing it right. Young stripped down to his boxers and started posing while asking T for her opinion. Gunner told T to get lost, then confronted Young, who had possession of meaningless belts. Gunner then beat down Young, who no-sold the attack after Gunner left. Basic set up for the TV Title match next week.

[Q8] Impact Zone: Ric Flair walked out to the ring alone to call out Roode. Flair told Roode to get out here, so Roode obliged. The announcers flashed back to Lockdown when Roode tried to destroy Flair's shoulder to win the match for Immortal. Back in the Zone, Flair asked Roode if he's ever been so mad at himself that he can't sleep at night. Flair said that's him because he has not been able to sleep since he tapped out to Roode at Lockdown. Flair asked Roode what makes him think he can jump on the Nature Boy like that.

Roode said with all due respect, when Flair came to TNA, he was one of the guys he came to first and mentored him. Roode said Lockdown was a war - not a wrestling match - and one of the things Flair taught him was taking opportunities. If the shoe were on the other foot, Flair would have done the same thing. Roode told him it's done. Flair said Roode is wrong because he would have put Roode out for the rest of his career. Flair then did his typical promo on wrestling hard and playing hard, drawing woos. Roode told Flair never to underestimate him. He said he's been a man for a long time. Shouldn't this foundation already be established, where they can debate wins and losses? Roode said Flair has had his time. Flair shot back they've been telling him that for 25 years.

Flair said Roode didn't do anything wrong, but if he wants to be the man, he has to stay the man. Roode said he's not doing this. Flair slapped him, then Roode got in his face. Flair grabbed him around the throat, then Roode slapped on the armbar again. Roode yanked back and sold intensity on his face as Flair's face turned three shades of red. Immortal then came running to make the save and beat down Roode. Since Fortune was already taken out in various forms during the show, no one was available to make the save. Hardy and Gunner set up a double chair shot to emphatically smash Roode's left shoulder. Ray then looked into the camera and mouthed not to mess with them.

Backstage: Sting was shown walking in a hallway. The back of the person dressed as old-school Sting was also shown.

[Commercial Break]

Impact Zone: Two minutes prior to the top of the hour, Sting's music hit to bring out the TNA World Hvt. champion. In the ring, Sting took the mic and unnaturally asked about Impact Wrestling tonight. Sting said he loves this place. He said he wants to acknowledge one great wrestler, Rob Van Dam. "Let's hear it for Rob Van Dam!" Sting said, like a little league coach talking to his team.

[Q9 -- over-run] Sting said he still hasn't lost his focus taking out Hogan and Bischoff here in TNA. And, being the World Hvt. champion, you're automatically a target. He said it wasn't merely 60 seconds after he retained the title that Anderson was in his face. On cue, Sting's music hit again. The light show kicked in and old-school Sting was in the ring behind Sting when the lights came back on. Anderson, as old-school Sting, jabbed Sting in the gut with a baseball bat before dropping Sting. Anderson mockingly did Sting's mannerisms pounding his chest and cupping his mouth to shout at the crowd. The show abruptly ended two minutes past the hour with Anderson standing over Sting in an afterthought segment.

FINAL THOUGHTS: TNA did one or two good things on the show, but the overall product was the exact same with little emphasis on wins and losses as the foundation for the product. Nothing has changed; it's just a new, soothing-blue coat of paint on the same foundation-less house. TNA is simply sticking with the same vision for the product spearheaded by Vince Russo, with the word "wrestling" tacked on to reinforce their commitment to how Russo wants to define "wrestling," which is not how anyone with an eye for making money would define it.

***

Keller's Coverage: Follow along with PWTorch editor Wade Keller's real-time blog thoughts on Impact at WadeKeller.com.

We welcome your 0-10 score and comments on this show for an "Impact Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Impact, click here.


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