"Lucha Libre USA Masked Warriors" TV report
August 6, 2010
Aired in MTV
Report by Larry Zarcoff, PWTorch contributor

Right off the bat, the show opened with a split screen with the MTV2 VJ Desi kicking off "Balls out Friday," with "Lucha Libre USA Masked Warriors" up next. She profiled two featured bouts, the first being rudo R.J. Brewer in a re-match vs. technico Magno, and then the USA Tag Team Championship tournament continuing with tecnicos Marco Corleone (nee Mark Jindrak) & Lujo Esquire facing rudos El Oriental & Tinieblas Jr.

With the promo finished, they cut to Tinieblas Jr., subtitled, telling his partner that they will make Marco and Lujo their "slaves." Nice to know they're on a first name basis.

This was followed by an incongruous scene of several luchadores playing poker. They're surrounded by generic gorgeous women who are enraptured, and clearly into masks. The hostess, Rebecca Reyes, says they're in Springfield, Mass. hanging out a few hours before the matches. She introduced the audience to Magno. She asked him about his confrontation with R.J. Brewer last week, and they ran some clips of the feud thus far. Magno cut a brief promo on R.J., saying he disrespected him and his friends, and will get his revenge later.

Back to the card table, Mascarita Dorada, with two ladies on his arm, threw down a full house. Piqueno Halloween and Mini Park had some issues with the lucky hand, and there was a brief argument. Piqueno Halloween upset the table and stormed off, but not before giving Rebecca a swat on the back-side. Magno, still hanging out in the interview position, gave a "Hail the Streetcar" salute, as if uttering a protracted, "Hey, what the - ?"

After the opening 3D graphic, they showed shots of a hot crowd. The commentators are Nigel Sherrod and Lalo Gonzalez. Nigel, sounding like he was trying to cram ten pounds of sausage into a five-pound casing, rapidly said we'll be seeing a three-on-three match tonight - the "Puerto Rican Powers," PR Flyer & San Juan Kid teaming with Mascarito Dorada, fresh off his poker win, taking on Paqueno Halloween, fresh off his poker loss, Saber Claw, and Neutronic. Next, he promoted the main event, the USA Tag Tournament clash of El Oriental and Tinieblas Jr. taking on Lujo Esquire and Marco Corleone. Finally, he did a voice-over preview of the opening match between R.J. Brewer and Magno. They showed a brief recap of the feud.

R.J. Brewer is the storyline son of Arizona Governor Jan Brewer. He is anti-immigration in the extreme, and implies that the luchadores are, among other things, un-American. He insults Lucha's style, bragging that he is dressed for wrestling and Magno is dressed for the circus. Magno, as you might expect, wasn't pleased.

They showed a rather clumsily-edited montage of the confrontations between the two, culminating with the events of last week where Magno did an Eddie Guerrero style trick to fool the ref and win the match.
RJ is back cutting another promo on Mexicans, saying they should come up to Arizona and do what they do best, "Cut my grass." Ah, memories of Juvy and Super Crazy as WWE gardeners. Brewer said he wants to rid the country of masks, costumes, flips, etc., and make the promotion solely USA pro-wrestling style, which I gather means catch-as-catch-can and sporting a shaved chest.

The recap was over and R.J. made his way to the ring. On commentary, Lalo referred to him as, "The man, the myth, and the legend." RJ came to the ring scowling like a dog passing a peach pit.

Next, Magno, from Mexico, made his entrance. Nigel wisely reinforced for the audience that Magno is the "fan favorite," is a proud luchadore, and wants to make his style #1.

1 -- R.J. BREWER vs. MAGNO

The bell sounded and they began with R.J. missing a punch (that's wrestling?) and Magno catching him with a hip toss. RJ retreated from the ring and asked for a "time out." Nigel and Lalo argue a bit about the merits of rule breaking, and the action continues in the ring. The announcers diverted from the match and debatde RJ Brewer's merits. Nigel called him an "Ethnocentric individual, " which reminded me of something Gorilla Monsoon would say. Lalo, heeling, talked up Brewer's "mom" and supported his anti-immigration views. The ring action was secondary to the commentary here.

Meanwhile in the match, RJ dominated on offense. Kicks, punches, and an elbow lock. Magno attempted a reverse and was tackled for his trouble. Magno got his heat back with a nice spinning backbreaker and RJ was down. Pin attempt - only a two count. The announcers were promoting the rest of the evening's card while Magno was slinging RJ around the ring, missing strikes and chops. RJ hit a low tackle and then pointed to his temple in the universal "Me smart, him dumb" gesture. Guess who's going to win this one?

Lalo continued to heel on commentary, saying Brewer, an American, doesn't need to be like a "jumping bean." That was kind of racist and unnecessary, but at least it's the heel saying it. If it were WWE, you might hear this stuff from John Cena. R.J. applied an ankle lock on Magno, and it was broken up. R.J. tried to knee drop Magno in the corner and came up empty, crotching himself on the turnbuckle. Both combatants were down, with Brewer pushing on his groin like he was kneading dough.

After a beat, both wee up and Magno hit two clotheslines and an enziguri. Magno showboated, covered, and only got a two count. Magno tried a fireman's carry that Nigel called a "Magno driver." Magno went to the top rope and executed a nice corkscrew splash that missed the mark, made a cover, and got a 2.5 count.

After Magno missed a sloppy splash in the corner, both wrestlers were back in the middle of the ring, looking like they weren't really sure if they should go to the finish. RJ then wound up and punched…the referee! He's knocked out. Magno then placed RJ on the top turnbuckle, and with the ref struggling to wake up, hit a nice enziguri. Magno backed off, then stumbled trying to climb up the turnbuckle to pound on Brewer. Sloppy execution here. Lalo tried to cover for the blown spot by saying Magno had been injured during the match. It's nice when the announcer acknowledges what the viewer is seeing.

While Magno was on the top rope, Brewer hit him with a low blow sending Magno down doing the "Flopping Tuna Crotch Grab" on the mat. Brewer covered, but the ref was still out of it. RJ gloated over a slumping Magno, then grabbed the ref to get his attention, but Magno grabbed him from behind with a schoolboy rollup for the pin. Brewer was shocked and Magno headed to the outside with the victory. Brewer was frustrated, stomping and whining in the ring.

WINNER: Magno.

[Commercial Break #1]

They returned with a recap of RJ-Magno, then cut to a backstage segment. Marco Corleone was trying to psyche up Solid, a downtrodden schmoe, victim of Lizmark Jr. and Sydisko's shenanigans. Marco actually asked Solid, "Where's your positiveness?" Positiveness? Wince.

This was followed by a little history lesson from Nigel and Lalo on Lizmark Jr. and Marco Corleone's past issues in Mexico. Marco and Solid vowed to watch each other's backs, and they recapped Solid's misadventures the past few weeks. Not a great segment.

They cut to the announce table where Rebecca Reyes was present with headset and notepad. They hyped the three-on-three match-up, and there was an allusion to "history" between Rebecca and Piqueno Halloween. Remember the slap at the poker game? Turns out there's more to it…

[Commercial Break #2]

The show went right into ring introductions for the three-on-three bout. Piqueno Halloween was out first, with some additional commentary between Nigel and Rebecca implying that there was some sort of relationship between them. Next out were the remaining rudos, Saber Claw and then Neutronic.

There was an awkward jump cut/pull up, and then the technicos were introduced. The San Juan Kid and PR Flyer, the "Puerto Rican Powers," were out first and played to the crowd. Mascarita Dorada was out last, accompanied by two babes, each about two feet taller than he is.

2 -- PIQUENO HALLOWEEN & SABER CLAW & NEUTRONIC vs. PR FLYER & SAN JUAN KID & MASCARITA DORADA

Saber Claw and San Juan Kid started it off, circling each other and working in some chain wrestling. Saber claw hit a back flip and attempted a pin attempt that was broken up. Kid showboated with a nice wushu butterfly kick, then after some rope work, hit a huracanrana on Saber Claw. A dropkick from Kid, and they both tagged out. The announcers were promoting the Lucha USA show concept throughout the match, and there really wasn't a storyline here - just a spot fest.

Neutronic had PR in the corner, and they had a "slap and sell" sequence. Neutronic whipped PR into the turnbuckle, PR hopped over it, and climbed to the top as Neutronic showboated. PR backflipped off, landed on his feet, staggered a bit, and then executed a nice roll and wheelbarrow sequence. After some stalling, Neutronic executed a low double kick to PR in the technico corner, and Mascarita Dorada jumped in off the top rope, stinging Neutronic, who rolled out.

The announce team popped for Dorada entering the ring, but the audience was tepid. This led to two really nice huracanrana sequences from Dorada, and the second one featuring him spinning Pequeno around four or five times. Nice spot here. Dorada then executed another beautiful sequence that finally popped the crowd. Neutronic was in next with PR Flyer, and soon they were on the floor following a spinning heel kick/top rope back flip combination from PR. Nice spots, but, again, no back story rendered them meaningless.

Saber Claw was in next and went over the top rope onto Neutronic and PR Flyer on the floor. PR came up holding his ankle. He was definitely hurt on the outside. Eventually, they all ended up in a heap on the floor and struggled to get up once again. San Juan Kid then hit a 630 flip on the outside. That popped the crowd, leaving only Mascarito Dorada in the ring. He set himself up on the apron and then delivered a moonsault off the top onto the other five guys.

Puerto Rican Powers climb back inside with Neutronic, who clotheslined them. Lalo finally acknowledged PR Flyer's injury and called him "PR Failure." Neutronic had PR in the corner for more "slap and sell." PR was trying to set up for an enziguri and it was just hard to watch. The move was botched, but Neutronic sold it like he was hit in the head with a cannon ball. San Juan kid went up top with a corkscrew splash for the three count and the win.

WINNERS: PR Powers & Dorada. Some nice work, but with no story, it was just a spot fest with what appeared to be a real injury.

They aired promos for the upcoming tag match and then...

[Commercial Break #3]

They returned with replays of the previous match. This was followed by a backstage segment where they went over Sydistico having some "issues," as he was sent in for a psychiatric evaluation. It was a sort of security cam/confessional shot with Sydistico on a chair responding to questions. I gather his character was modeled on Heath Ledger's Joker from "Dark Knight." I don't know much about Sydistico, but I think this guy is money. This could have been a cringe-worthy bad acting segment but he underplayed it and hit some good notes. He's got sharp in-ring skills too. I'm looking forward to his work in coming weeks.

Rebecca was backstage with Mascara Pupura. Generic interview - he wants to be champion, etc., but needed the "commission" to let him into the tournament. In a nice moment of performing, something happens off-camera and Rebecca and Mascara Pupura sold the interruption nicely...

It turned out that Super Nova was in the ring calling out Sysdistico. He speaks in Spanish with subtitles. He gave Sydistico ten seconds to come out and confront him, counting in Spanish. When Sydistico no-showed, he headed to the back to hunt him down.

They cut to a promo of the upcoming tag team title tournament matchup.

[Commercial Break #4]

Now it's time for the main event of the evening. Out first was rudo El Oriental. He spits mist and produces streamers from his sleeves. His angle is that he's crazy for power. Next came his partner, Tinieblas, Jr. I have to say that his mask is my favorite - he looks like the Martian from the classic "War of the Worlds." He's promoted as a dark and evil Lucha legend.

Now on to the technicos. Out first was Lujo Esquire, the "Man of Luxury." He's a masked millionaire and comes to the ring with women in American Flag bikinis. In Lucha USA, the rich guy is the babyface. Marco Corleone was out next, accompanied by Solid, fresh from the backstage skit. Coreleone seems to be the guy they're positioning as the eventual singles tournament champion. We learned that Solid is Corelone's friend since childhood. Lalo commented that Solid is a loser and a millstone around Marco's neck. The combatants jawed in the ring, leading to another break.

[Commercial Break #5]

3 -- MARCO CORLEONE & LUJO ESQUIRE vs. EL ORIENTAL & TINIEBLAS, JR. -- Tag Title tournament match

They returned with a graphic for the Lucha USA Tag Team title tournament. Lujo Esquire and El Oriental were in the ring to start. After the bell, Lujo stomp kicked Oriental in the jaw and Oriental was down. Lujo just towers over Oriental - what a big dude. After running the ropes and ducking a punch, Oriental hit a boot and a DDT. Marco tried to come in and help his partner, distracting the ref. Tinieblas, Jr. entered and worked over Lujo. Soon, they double-teamed Lujo in the corner. The rudos crotched him on the turnbuckle, and as he rolled to the floor wiggling and grabbing his groin, Tinieblas and Oriental gloated in the ring.

Corleone finally entered and hit some left hand punches on each guy until Tinieblas ducked and dropped Marco on his back. Then, another double team started as the rudos worked over Corleone in the center of the ring.

But wait! On the stage, Super Nova and Sysdistico were brawling, with Nova giving more than he's getting. They brawled into the crowd while the rudos were still double-teaming Corleone in the match. The commentators seemed to be having trouble with the action.

Now, something awkward happened. There was a shot of the balcony where Sydistico and Nova were on a ladder fighting. Only the very tip of the ladder and the mid-sections of the wrestlers were visible, which looked very peculiar. Nova performed a senton splash, which landed out of view, then he climbed to the top of the wall, fist raised.

Trying to focus the action back in the ring, Lalo sold Corleone as an egomaniac. The double team continued. Corleone fought out of it, and then attempted a leapfrog sequence winding up on the top rope. He executed a jumping double clothesline as Lujo finally re-entered the ring. Corleone did a really nice jumping side snap kick on El Oriental, and Lugo hit a spinning heel kick on Tinieblas as Nigel extolled Corleone's vertical jumping ability. He wasn't kidding.

Suddenly, outside the ring, Relic had Solid in a double elbow lock. El Oriental dove onto them outside the ring, I gather to hit Solid. Got this so far? But wait, there's more. Lizmark Jr. was shown sneaking into the ring. Lujo Esquire dove over the top onto Relic and Solid, leaving Corleone with Tinieblas. There was a really awkward pause with Corleone in the center of the ring, Tinieblas in the corner, and Lizmark Jr. on the outside. It looked like Marco was waiting for a cue. After a few seconds, he tried to run the ropes, but was hooked by Lizmark. Tinieblas capitalized and rolled him up for the three count.

WINNERS: Tinieblas, Jr. & El Oriental. Tinieblas and El Oriental advance in the tag team tournament, and Marco Corleone and Lujo Esquire are eliminated. Of course, this leaves Marco free to chase the World Championship. What a schmoz ending to the end of the main event. Very confusing, and almost incomprehensible if you don't know who is who.

Lucha USA has a show in Las Vegas tonight, August 7, where Carlito Colon is scheduled to debut after recently signing with Lucha USA.

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