By B.J. Bethel, Torch Team Contributor

WWE Smackdown review
Aired June 12, 2003
From Orlando, Florida

We're blessed with highlights of Mysterio and Hardy, going clear back to Show's stretcher-swing and Hardy winning the Cruiserweight title and ending with last week's main event.

1st Quarter

(1) Rey Mysterio pinned Matt Hardy. (Clean) Yes, this was the main event last week. Hardy left the MFers because he blamed them for him losing the title back in San Diego. Once in the ring, Hardy didn't waste anytime getting started and went after Mysterio aggressively. Rey then tried to land the 619, but missed. Hardy followed up with one of his drop-down moves off a head lock for a two count. Hardy took Mysterio upstairs, but Rey countered with a bulldog, leaving both men out. The two basically traded moves through-out the match until Rey aggravated his groin injury landing on a leap frog. Hardy tried to attack, but Rey was still too quick for him and hit the 619. Rey followed with a springboard leg drop for a two count. Hardy put a stop to Mysterio, going for a power bomb, then dropping him into a hot shot as Rey tried to punch out of it. Hardy picked Rey back off the ropes and tiger bombed him for a two count. Hardy, frustrated, went for the Twist of Fate twice but Rey was too quick for him. Rey went up top and landed his 'rana cradle for the pinfall to retain the title. I'm glad someone on this show besides Benoit will do a clean job.

2nd Quarter Hour

Piper and Sean O'Haire held a special "International" edition of Piper's Pit, featuring Tajiri and Eddie Guerrero. Eddie is pretty excited, then asks Piper if he's going to go for the "loaded burrito gimmick, kind of like a coconut." Piper wanted Eddie to let O'Haire hold one of the title belts. They finally got Tajiri to loan him his in exchange for some sushi. Oh boy. O'Haire and Piper toasted some Tequila with Tajiri, but he heeled on them and blew the Tequila in their face, leaving both of them laying out in the ring. Eddie and Tajiri headed back to the low rider.

Backstage, Sable is going through Stephanie's lap top. She was looking for Zach Gowen's contract, couldn't find it, but discovered that Steph is bringing back the U.S. title. Stephanie told Sable that she can't sweet talk her and that she doesn't need an assistant. The acting was what you would expect, which means it sucked horrendously, with the segment ending with a very uncomfortable long pause and stare by both women. Sable's been the better female actor on the show lately, but Stephanie seemingly brings the worst out in everybody.

Commercial: 2 Fast 2 Furious, which I'll probably be seeing this weekend. Run ricers, run. Fear not domestic lovers, Yenko Camaros and Hemi Challengers galore!

3rd Quarter Hour

(2) Billy Gunn pinned A-Train. (Clean) Torrie Wilson came to the ring to announce the match. A-Train came to the ring and received a "shave your back" chant. She then introduced "Ass Man" Billy Gunn, who Torrie stated had the best buns in the business. Gunn was all over A-Train to start, working him over with some clotheslines and a corner splash. Gunn went for a second splash but the Train caught him with a big boot. Train went for the Baldo Bomb, but Gunn broke the hold and landed the Fame-Asser for the win. Very, very short. Torrie came into the ring and gave him a smack on the ass, then turned to take one in return.

(3) Undertaker pinned Johnny the Bull (w/ Nunzio & Chuck Palumbo). (Interference from FBI) Undertaker gave Stamboli absolutely nothing to start. He immediately beat him down in the corner and set him up for the Last Ride until the other FBI members distracted him, allowing Stamboli to drop kick him out of the ring. Despite that, 'Taker took them both apart and was going to choke slam Nunzio when Stamboli interfered. Undertaker just gave him a jaw breaker across the top rope and that was the end of that. Finally, Undertaker became human when Palumbo got involved on the other side of the ring, allowing Stamboli to get some offense in. Stamboli used a springboard leg drop to get a two count and then went to work on 'Taker with a bunch of punches and a suplex. Wow, 'Taker let Bull take him off his feet and get an actual two count! Stamboli went up top and tried for a 180 leg drop, but 'Taker had the presence of mind to move. 'Taker went for a back drop, but ate a boot, which 'Taker no-sold. 'Taker went for the choke slam, but just pushed Bull into Palumbo on the apron and nailed him with the Last Ride power bomb to end the squash. 'Taker chased Nunzio into the crowd then took his aggression out on Palumbo. I think the new FBI gimmick pretty much sucks and I think there are definitely better guys to invest in then Stamboli, but why in the hell build them up for a month then have 'Taker completely wipe them out in two shows? Just stupid. After completely killing Palumbo and Bull, Nunzio came back, running back from out of the crowd, and saved Palumbo from the Last Ride with a chair shot.

Hulkster helped Zach Gowen prepare for his arm-wrestling match in the back. Zach was doing arm curls with his cane as Hogan offered a little resistance.

4th Quarter Hour

Stephanie went to the ring to announce the arm wrestling match. She's interrupted by Sable, whom she teased she would let talk then pulled the microphone away. Replace Sable with Heyman and its just like the booking meetings! Stephanie introduced Zach as the most amazing young man she has ever met. Vince then came out looking jacked and ultra-massive. He might just blow an MCL walking to the ring. Hogan called Vince's arm a spaghetti string and then tried to get him to arm wrestle him. Hogan then gave a shout-out to Hogan, sitting at home of course, then said Vince was afraid of him. Vince said he'd arm wrestle him, but if he won Hogan would have to leave the arena when Vince arm wrestles Zach (Sable's bright idea). Both men started at a stand-still, with Vince making a face similar to my Dad when he was having kidney stone problems. Sable interfered to keep Vince from losing. Stephanie told her not to do it again, and again they locked up. Sable then flashed Mr. America, distracting Hogan and allowing Vince to win. Vince sent Hogan and Stephanie packing and commented on Sable's "beautiful set of eyes."

5th Quarter Hour

Zach and Vince were in the ring alone as Vince began to egg him on. Vince started talking trash, but got worried when he couldn't get Zach's arm down. Vince complained to the ref that he was cheating and then kicked his prosthetic limb out from under him. Vince asked him if he was going to cry and then kicked him out of the ring. He said he needed athletes in there and not some freaks. Somehow, Vince is bleeding from his forehead. Where in the hell did that come from? Zach walked back up the ramp as McMahon threw his cane at him and the mocked his limp in the ring.

Big Show passed by Mr. America and Zach Gowen backstage. Show said he had two words for him; "forget it."

(4) Danny & Doug Basham (w/ Linda Miles) defeated Rhyno & Chris Benoit. (Interference from Linda) Linda Miles came out as the Basham's new manager, dressed in an S&M gimmick. Doug and Rhyno started the match off. Doug tried to keep him off his feet, but Rhyno's power was a little bit too much for him. A shoulder tackle and a back suplex later, Doug was on the mat. Very earlier hot tag to Benoit, who was all over both guys and got a two count with a snap suplex on Danny. Release German suplex on Doug Basham by Benoit as Danny and Rhyno brawled outside. Benoit went up top, but Linda grabbed his boot and allowed Basham to move. Benoit recovered fast and applied the CCF to Doug, but Danny broke the hold. Benoit went for a German suplex on one of the Bashams when Rhyno went to punch him. The Basham ducked and he struck Benoit, allowing the Bashams to get the quick pin. Rhyno tried to apologize, but Benoit wouldn't have it and the show went to a commercial with the two face to face in the ring. Two short and didn't go anywhere

6th Quarter Hour

Backstage, Rhyno and Benoit argue with each over.

Cena ripped on Sammy Sosa and Michael Cole in his rap, definitely geared towards making him a babyface. Funaki tried to make a come back with the old "U...G..L...Y. you don't have no alibi..." but Cena cut him off with a clothesline. Funaki got caught coming off the middle rope. After getting tossed around a bit, Cena finished him with the F-U.

Backstage, Kurt Angle is shown walking. An hour and a half in, and they finally get around to showing the number one star of the show.

7th Quarter Hour

Kurt Angle came to the ring. He talked about how great he felt last week when he came back and how he's looking forward to the Big Show/Lesnar match at the PPV, because he gets to wrestle the winner. Angle then called out Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas. Kurt wanted to know where they were when he returned last week. Charlie said they were sick, as did Benjamin. Then Benjamin said they were sick of being in his shadow. He said they were supposed to be a team. He then said it was their fault they lost the titles in the first place because he wasn't around. Kurt called them "whining little bitches." Kurt told them they had to look to get things back together. Kurt wanted to go into the back and figure out a strategy on how to get their titles back. Charlie said that is all Kurt is full of, talk. Haas said that Benjamin and himself had wrestled Lesnar before and didn't get their neck broke and that they even won at Wrestlemania. Ouch. He's also tired of hearing the "you suck" chant. Angle said he heard the chant because he "earned it." Haas said that they wanted to keep the team together, but Benjamin and himself had voted themselves as Co-Captains. Angle then took his right as the creator of the group and kicked them both out with a big, "you're outta here!" Angle then mocked kicking dirt on them, alla Billy Martin. Angle led the crowd in singing "Hey, Hey, Goodbye" to them to end the segment.

After the break, Kurt was confronted by Benjamin and Haas backstage. They wanted him to reconsider disbanding them, he didn't take too kindly to it, and a short beat-down ensued.

8th Quarter Hour

Quick start by Brock, but Big Show took him down with a clothesline for a quick two count. Big Show kept Lesnar at bay until Brock ducked a clothesline and Show fell to the floor. After sending Brock into the stairs, Show put him back in the ring. Lesnar tried another rally, but Show caught him with a side slam for another two count. Show went to a half crap, something I thought I would never see, but Brock made the ropes after fighting his way across the ring. Show went to work on Lesnar's rib cage as Cole stated that Lesnar did suffer a broken rib a while back and it still gives him problems. Lesnar managed to get behind show and deliver a release German suplex. Lesnar set him up for the F 5, but Lesnar's leg and side are too hurt to pick him up. Show went for a choke slam, but Lesnar slid out. Lesnar tried a clothesline and ate a boot and took another two count. Show signaled for the choke slam again, this time hitting it, and got a two count. Show became increasingly frustrated by this point, and went up top while having his hand wrapped around Lesnar's throat. Show, who was apparently going for the choke slam from the top rope, got caught by Lesnar. After delivering some punches, Lesnar delivered one of the more incredible visuals seen in a long time with a superplex on the big guy, with the ring collapsed as Show and Lesnar hit the mat. Both men were laid out in the ring as Chioda signaled to the back for EMTs to come out. A "holy shit" chant started as medical personnel entered the ring. The show ended with Show and Lesnar being attended to.

Notes: A very mixed show tonight. Everything dragged between the opener and the last half hour, with Kurt confronting Team Angle. The best thing they could do for this show right now would be to find a compelling way to use Benoit and Rhyno. Right now, they aren't doing that. The inter-tag team feud has been played out too many times over the past few years...Why stick the Cruiserweight re-match at the beginning of the show? The match was over last week, both guys delivered with a solid match. Granted it wasn't five stars, but it was good. At least save it for the fifth quarter hour... The Mysterio/Hardy re-match had more of a "spotty" feel to it then last week's match, maybe that was in response to some people who felt the main event last week should have been more along the lines of a traditional Cruiserweight match... Billy Gunn is back. Yay. Gunn is the only wrestler on Earth who can say he was in a homosexual tag team and that still isn't the gayest gimmick he ever had... Great to see Linda Miles/Sheniqua (sp?) in an S&M gimmick. After watching her inflict pain on the audience in her crap matches with Jackie Gayda, I'd say it's most appropriate... If they are really wanting to make Cena's gimmick work, they have to add something to his character to make him identify with the rap gimmick. That's one of the reasons why Eminem works for people. He's the white guy, but family problems, a rough childhood made him identify with the rap crowd. Having him come out and drop rhymes isn't going to work. They should play it up like he had a rough upbringing, maybe show some interaction between him and some backstage authority figures that would make him more likely to identify himself that way. It's called character development. Try it... Benoit and Rhyno are quickly becoming the Kane/RVD of Smackdown, and that isn't good... The visual at the end of the show, with Show and Lesnar taking the ring down, came across good. With the two feuding so much over the past year, they needed something to spice it up. I guess telling the crowd that the ring could explode any time they step in it is a good step.

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