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6/2 WWE Raw review: Mahling's "alt perspective" rundown

Jun 3, 2003 - 12:03:00 AM
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By Mallory Mahling, Torch Team Contributor

WWE Raw "Alternative Perspective" Rundown
June 2, 2003
Live from San Diego, California
Aired on TNN


Top Five Items from the Program

(1) The Rock proved once again that he is the most electrifying man in sports and entertainment.

(2) Jericho continued to bedevil Goldberg, even throwing paint on his beloved muscle car. It would have been more effective if Goldberg had "acted" like he gave a darn.

(3) The main event just sort of fizzled to an end, since the referee and the participants all seemed to be on different pages.

(4) Several matches were announced for Bad Blood, including the Bionic Redneck and the Karate Kid in a Redneck Triathlon, as well as a special referee for the Hell in a Cell match who just happened to fit the description of one of WWE's most beloved characters.

(5) J.R. announced that Classy Freddie Blassie had passed away shortly before the show went on the air. Rest in peace! And sincerest condolences to his family.

Review of the Program

Quarter Hour 1

The show opened with, what else, a limo pulling into the garage. The Rock stepped out and began to bask in the pop that had already started. The most electrifying man in sports and entertainment milked the crowd reaction for all it was worth.

Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler welcomed viewers to Raw, live from the San Diego Sports Arena in San Diego, California.

(1) Six Woman Tag Match: Trish Stratus & Ivory & Jacqueline over Jazz (w/Theodore Long) & Victoria & Molly Holly. In spite if the King's constant puppy comments, the action was fast-paced, with each one getting a chance to use her specialty move. Ivory pinned Jazz to take the win for her side.

A classic Barracuda pulled into the parking lot and out stepped Goldberg.

(Commercial break) (J.R.'s cookbook will be available at bookstores tomorrow.)

The King announced this week's website poll and invited viewers to log on and vote on J.R.'s cookbook. Will it be a hit or a miss?

Backstage, Stacy and Test were screaming at each other. Stacy broke up with Test. He refused take the hint and told her she was contractually obligated to him. He was wearing his angry face.

Quarter Hour 2

Hurricane's music hit, and as he started to make his entrance for "a match," Randy Orton ran out and attacked him from behind. Ric Flair and Triple H followed Orton out and the threesome headed to the ring.

Flair addressed Shawn Michaels. He said he was honored to have been Michaels' role model. Imitation might be the sincerest form of flattery, but he'd seen plenty of wannabe's come and go. Flair said he had never officially passed the torch to Michaels. He had, however, passed it to Triple H, and got down on his knees and paid homage to the Game. Never turn your back on the Dirtiest Player in the Game, he warned Michaels. Flair said he looked forward to his match with HBK at Bad Blood and boasted that Shawn Michaels would be his bitch . . . all night long.

"Sexy Boy" hit and Shawn Michaels came out. He said he knew he'd taken a big chance last week by revealing so much of himself in front of the world. True to form, Flair had made him pay for it. But Shawn was not the little boy watching his idol on TV. He was a man who'd established himself as the Heartbreak Kid. Shawn said he didn't need to brag about anything, except his ability in the ring. Flair didn't need to pass the Torch. Shawn said he'd taken it. At Bad Blood, he'd show the world that Space Mountain was just a rickety old ride. He'd make the Nature Boy famous by taking the torch and shoving it where the sun doesn't shine.

Triple H, who'd obviously spent a lot of time blow drying his hair, invited Michaels to the ring. Shawn told him he wasn't coming alone, and Kevin Nash joined him. The two of them, plus the Hurricane, sent Evolution running.

(Commercial break)

Quarter Hour 3

(2) Scott Steiner (w/Stacy Keibler) pinned Steven Richards. The King just about had a stroke watching Stacy climb through the ropes. Test came out and stood at the top of the ramp with a goofy smile on his face.

Short, not so sweet, match which was merely a prop in this soap opera. Steiner planted Stevie for the pin, and the drama continued.

Eric Bischoff came out and reminded Stacy that she was still under contract to Test. But Eric liked to consider himself a problem solver, so at Bad Blood, Test and Steiner would duke it out, with the winner getting Stacy's managerial services.

(Commercial break)

J.R. broke the sad news that Freddie Blassie had passed away shortly before the show started. Just three weeks ago he'd been a special guest on Raw. He was a beloved figure, said J.R.

In his office, Bischoff was pleased with himself for setting up the Test vs. Steiner match. Stone Cold said he'd set up a match for tonight, too -- HBK, Kevin Nash and Hurricane vs. Evolution.

Eric brought up their special match at Bad Blood, and Stone Cold suggested they do some brainstorming. Bischoff suggested a triathlon. Austin liked that idea and thought it should be a Redneck Triathlon. They shook hands on it, but Stone Cold told Bischoff that it didn't mean they were friends.

Terri asked Goldberg if he'd recovered from last week's pepper spray. Behind them on the TitanTron was Chris Jericho about to throw a can of paint on the 'Cuda. (Test was a better actor than Goldberg, who just stood there with his arms crossed as he watched Jericho prepare to toss the can of paint.) Goldberg finally got mad enough to run outside. He jumped into the car and sped off. (At least he kept this one running.)

Quarter Hour 4

(Commercial break) (Look for sports entertainment news this Saturday on Confidential. And, surprise, they'll be featuring Lex Luger. If McMahon doesn't watch out, he'll end up making Luger a sympathetic figure, which I doubt is his intention)

Christian and his Intercontinental Title Belt headed down the ramp as the King read the results of the poll. Some 65% of the viewers participating felt the cookbook would be a hit.

It was time for the Highlight Reel, but Christian said that Jericho was speeding down Interstate 5. He said he'd host the Highlight Reel, which he renamed The Peep Show.

Christian introduced his guest, The Rock, who came out to a tremendous pop.

The People's Champion managed to work in most of his catch phrases, and managed to put the so-called new People's Champion in his place. Christian played his part to perfection. "They love me, Rock; they really love me," claimed Christian in his best Sally Field imitation.

The Rock told him he needed to ask the people and he climbed over the guardrail to ask the audience who the REAL People's Champ was.

Quarter Hour 5

Jericho was back (after apparently out-driving Goldberg) and told Christian to step aside. Then he told the Rock to get back in the ring (which was easier said than done as he pressed his way through the crowd.)

Jericho asked the Rock how it felt to be speared by Goldberg. "It hurts," responded the Rock. But it wouldn't hurt as much as the Rock putting his foot up Jericho's candy ass. It was a set up, and Christian and Jericho double-teamed the Rock. Booker T ran out to make the save. The Rock gave Jericho a spinebuster and the People's Elbow, and Christian got a Rock Bottom followed by an elbow drop by Booker.

Booker and the Rock shook hands, then Booker teased a Rock premiere. While most thought it would be a clip from the Rock's new movie, what Booker had in mind was the debut of the Rockaroonie. The Rock seemed at a loss, so Booker demonstrated how to do it. The Rock managed a presentable version of the Rockaroonie.

(Commercial break)

Stone Cold stopped Jericho and Christian who were leaving the building. "No you ain't," Stone Cold told them.

(3) Rene Dupree (w/Sylvain Grenier) over Kane (w/Rob Van Dam). Kane wasted no time in pulling Kermit the Frog into the ring by his neck and began to toss him from pillar to post. Dupree took Kane off his feet, then showboated, only to find Kane standing right behind him.

RVD and Grenier battled on the outside. "Kane took his eye off the ball," said J.R., which gave Dupree an opportunity to give Kane a low blow and pin him for the win.

Quarter Hour 6

Stone Cold headed to the ring and dismissed Van Dam. He said he'd been keeping his eye on Kane, and he was not impressed. Kane no longer "had the fire." Austin tried his best to make Kane mad. Kane merely hung his head. Stone Cold wanted to know where the old Kane was, then shoved him. Kane half-heartedly grabbed at Stone Cold, but still looked conflicted. Austin finally stunnered Kane. A close-up showed Kane and it looked like his lower lip was quivering. (Strange segment, but it could have some interesting possibilities down the road.)

(Commercial break) (A promo for Gail Kim aired.)

J.R. and the King were still trying to figure out Austin's motivational message.

Triple H was outside the officials' dressing room with a satisfied look on his face.

In their dressing room, Orton, Flair and Triple H were getting ready for their match. Triple H bragged that "he'd taken care of things," and if he had his way, there would be no Hell in a Cell match at Bad Blood.

Jericho and Christian were headed to the ring for their tag match.

(Commercial break)

Quarter Hour 7

Another Internet poll. Viewers could log onto to wwe.com to vote on whether Stone Cold was justified in what he'd done to Kane.

(4) Booker T & Goldust over Chris Jericho & Christian. The match had barely gotten started when the show went to commercial.

(Commercial break)

Back to the match, and Jericho and Booker were going at it. Christian made the tag and J.R. said he wouldn't be surprised to see Christian's title reign end in Houston.

Goldust ("If you weell," said J.R.) tagged in and was on fire. He set up Christian for the Golden Globes, but Jericho put a stop to it. Booker gave Christian a scissors kick, then pinned him for the win.

Jericho hit Goldust upside the head with the IC belt just as Goldberg came running out. He was poised to spear Jericho, who moved, putting referee Charles Robinson in harm's way. It looked like Goldberg broke Robinson in half. Medics came running out and tended to the injured ref.

(Commercial break)

Quarter Hour 8

The Army, Navy and Marines were well represented in the audience.

Goldberg was remorseful as Robinson was stretchered out.

The remainder of the referees were whining to Stone Cold and Bischoff. They said they would refuse to work the Hell in a Cell Match at Bad Blood since too many of them were getting hurt. Stone Cold said he knew a crazy, sick son of a bitch who he could get to referee that match, and the crowd (and the viewers at home) seemed to jump to the conclusion it would be Mick Foley.

J.R. said the results of the latest poll indicated that 76% of the fans voting felt Stone Cold was justified in trying to motivate Kane.

(5) Randy Orton, Ric Flair & Triple H over Shawn Michaels, Kevin Nash & Hurricane. As Triple H came out, he tapped his heart and gestured toward heaven. A tribute to Freddie Blassie?

(Commercial break) (UFC must have spent some major bucks with all their ads tonight.)

The match started with HBK mocking Flair. Nash was being Big Boring on the outside, but Michaels and Hurricane were making a good team in the ring.

Quarter Hour 9

Flair had Michaels in the Figure Four, but Nash made the save. Nash tagged in and the bodies were flying. The straps went down, and Nash went for his finisher. Flair, whose white hair was stained red with blood, stopped him. Hurricane with a crossbody on Orton followed by a shining wizard and a near fall by Hurricane. Although Triple H was not the legal man, he gave Hurricane a Pedigree and Orton made a cover. The ref did not finish the count, but the bell eventually rang.

Who won, asked the King? Evolution won the match, said J.R., but Nash gave Triple H a jack knife anyway. Kevin Nash dominated said JR. (If you say so. It looked more like Hurricane and HBK did.)

As the show faded to black, the Game was flat on his back outside the ring and Big Nasty was glaring at him.

The Wrap Up Not a bad show, but there sure wasn't much wrestling on it. The Rock was a treat, and so was Christian and his Peep Show. He gets better and better every week with his nerdy bravado. Hopefully, Stone Cold's tough love segment with Kane will result in a fired up Big Red Machine. But just when it seemed that Raw was getting better at continuity, the end of the main event was a total mess. Was the referee making a point? Was Evolution cheating to win? Did someone lose their place in the script? And is there a Foley in our future?

Comments? You can reach me at mmahling@pwtorch.com. See you in The Lounge on Saturday.


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