KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
MARCH 19, 2010
TAPED TUESDAY IN LOS ANGELES, CALIF. AT STAPLES CENTER
AIRED ON MY NETWORK TV

[Q1]

-They opened cold with Todd Grisham and Matt Striker looking solemnly at the camera. I thought someone died. They said they haven't gotten over the shock of last week's actions by C.M. Punk. Clips aired of Punk's taunting of Rey's family. Rey then came out to his music. Striker said, "For anyone who supports Rey Mysterio, this is a time of anguish." Rey said he hasn't had a moment's peace since last week. He said Punk crossed a line that shouldn't be crossed. He said this goes beyond brainwashing his Straight Edge society and his "never-ending sea of lies." What lies? That people rely on prescription drugs, recreational drugs, and alcohol to sooth themselves? Rey said he wants to face Punk at WrestleMania in a street fight. He said Punk needs to learn a lesson that you never mess with another man's family. Punk's music played, interrupting Rey.

Punk walked onto the stage with Sarita and Luke Gallos. Punk said Rey is obviously emotionally charged, so he's going to keep his distance on the stage. Rey said he'd have to be human to feel what he feels inside. Rey said he should come get him right now. Punk said if he lays a hand on him before WrestleMania, he doesn't get a match at WrestleMania, not a street fight, not anything. Punk said he walked out to tell Rey he sees so much potential in him. He said he knows he's been on an emotional roller coaster, but he's been on a roller coaster like that with his family.

Punk said he doesn't need to rely on memories to remember what Rey's daughter's birthday party was like, because he has pictures. Punk showed a picture of Rey and his daughter. "She trusts you to be that super hero, that no matter what Daddy is going to make everything okay," he said. The next picture showed her looking scared in Punk's direction, clutching her dad's arm. He said he is Straight Edge and that means he is better than him. He said if he joins the Straight Edge society he can live up the super hero myth. He said he just needs to accept him as his savior. Rey said he has gone out of his mind. Rey said that will never happen.

[Q2]

Rey said if he doesn't accept his challenge to face him at WM in a street fight, he'll have to live out his days fighting him at every turn. "You can either just say yes or just say no," Rey said. Punk said he doesn't like either option, but since he's a compassionate individual and he pities him, he said if Rey can beat Gallos, then at WM he gets his street fight. He said, however, if he loses "and then goes on to lose at WrestleMania," he'll have to join his Straight Edge society. "You will have to accept me as your savior on the grandest stage of them all." He said once he's saved him, maybe Rey can forget that "this precious picture-perfect moment ever happened." He showed Rey's daughter looking at Punk in fright. Rey said that is an image he will always remember. He said he will take that image with him until the day he dies. He said he's going to beat Gallos and then he's going to make sure that he never forgets the beating he gives him at WrestleMania. "May God have mercy on your soul," Rey concluded. [c]

1 -- MVP & MATT HARDY vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER & JACK SWAGGER

Striker said this match embodies the emerging talent and youth in WWE "and this is just four out of the nine." Hardy and MVP are youth in WWE? What is he talking about? They're both in their late-30s. Hardy got in some early offense against Ziggler. Swagger tagged himself in. They cut to an early break. [c] Back from the break, Hardy and Swagger were still battling. Striker brought up the scenario of the MITB winner cashing in on the winner of John Cena vs. Batista at the end of their grueling title match the night of WrestleMania. MVP and Ziggler tagged in. MVP got in offense. When Swagger entered illegally, Hardy speared him through the ropes and out of the ring. That distraction helped Ziggler hit his Zig Zag finisher to pin MVP. Swagger was too wrapped up in himself to celebrate with Ziggler, who just let him pass. Ziggler then pulled a huge ladder out from under the ring and slid it into the ring. He set it up. Grisham said it's four times the height of Ziggler. Ziggler then set it up and it was obviously merely double Ziggler's height. There goes any credibility for anything Grisham ever says. He really did study the Gorilla Monsoon Book of Announcing. Ziggler climbed the ladder and grabbed a briefcase.

WINNERS: Ziggler & Swagger in 6:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4

[Q3]

-A video package aired on Edge-Chris Jericho accentuating the whole "Spear! Spear!" deal. [c]

-A brief video highlight aired of the latest between Shawn Michaels and Undertaker.

-They showed the Vince McMahon star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

-Drew McIntrye walked up to Teddy Long backstage. Long said he's impressed that he's still "technically undefeated." He brought up that he lost his first MITB Qualified to Kane, but Mr. McMahon expunged that loss. Then he lost again the next week against Hardy, but McMahon erased that loss, too. He said last week Drew finally qualified, but it was against a hand-picked opponent by McMahon, someone no one ever heard of and never will hear of again. Long said he's undefeated going back to the start of his WWE career in August. "That is until tonight," he said. Long said he's thinking about a match against Undertaker who has his own streak 17-0. Drew said McMahon doesn't like him to wrestle this close to WrestleMania. Long said he tried to get ahold of Mr. McMahon before he walked into his office, but he couldn't reach him, so he has the power to book him against the Undertaker. Drew expressed anxiety. [c]

[Q4]

2 -- TIFFANY & "GLAMAZON" BETH PHOEIX vs. LAYLA & MICHELLE MCCOOL

Phoenix gave Layla a rapid-fire airplane spin early. Layla tried to tag out to the wrong corner. Tiffany tagged in at 1:00 and hit a crossbody block. Striker compared Grisham to Ellen DeGeneres in terms of looks. McCool interfered to help Layla get the advantage on Tiffany. At 2:00 Glamazon got the hot-tag and worked over McCool aggressively. She hit a sling-shot suplex for a near fall, broken up by Layla. Striker brought up "shades of Tully Blanchard" after the suplex. McCool went for her finisher, but Phoenix escaped and gave McCool her Glam Slam for the win.

WINNERS: Phoenix & Tiffany in 3:00.

-Vickie Guerrero walked out and said, "Excuse me! Excuse me!" She told Tiffany to head to the back. She said Phoenix owes her an apology. Phoenix said she apologized last week already. Vickie said her apology wasn't good enough, and she wants her to apologize in front of everyone tonight. Phoenix said it was wrong of her to put her hands on a WWE authority figure, so for that she apologizes. Vickie said her apology is still unacceptable. She got upset with fans and belted out, "Excuse me!" again. Great delivery. Vickie said she'll regret the day she laid hands on her. Vickie reminded her that she is the official consultant of Smackdown and her boss. "I am your superior in more ways than you'll ever think of." She said she'll find out next week when she wrestles her one-on-one. Grisham said, "What?" while laughing.

-Grisham plugged that Edge will have Jericho as his guest on "The Cutting Edge." [c]

-Striker thanked Kevin Rudolph for his song "I Made It (Cash Money Heroes)" for being one of the WM26 theme songs. Grisham said he has made it if his song is associated with WrestleMania 26.

[Q5]

-Edge walked out to his music and introduced Jericho as his guest on "The Cutting Edge." Wade Barrett joined Jericho. Edge said, "It looks like you two are ready to go to the prom together," since both were dressed up and Barrett had a flower on his lapel. Edge said he's going to get in the last move at WrestleMania and he thinks he knows what that move is going to be. The crowd didn't instantly chant "Spear! Spear!" so nobody can say WWE fans are always lemmings. Jericho said Edge has boiled their WM match down to one move, one action, but there are so many other variables involved. He said he is the World Champion, "which means I am the best in the world at what I do."

He asked Edge if he can live up to the hype and expectations from the parasite fans at WrestleMania. He also said he might not be physically at 100 percent. He asked if he is still hurt and just hoping to squeak by with the "help of these puppets who dance on a string whenever you tell them to." He said the sound of 70,000 hypocrites chanting "Spear!" isn't going to be enough. He asked him what would happen if he tore his Achilles tendon for a second time. Jericho said David Beckham has the same injury as him and his career is over. He said his career will end, too, if he locks on the Walls of Jericho again. Edge got wide-eyed and said nobody knows if he's still injured, but there's only one way to find out. He challenged him to make his move and go for his checkmate. When Jericho didn't make the first move, Edge did by hitting Jericho with the mic. Jericho clipped Edge's leg as he went after Barrett. Edge fought back out of the corner effectively and threw Jericho to the floor. He then gave Barrett his spear. Jericho, though, entered the ring and gave Edge the Code Breaker. He then stomped on Edge's previously injured ankle. Jericho then taunted Edge by saying softly: "Spear." Jericho picked up his title belt, held it in the air, and smiled as Edge winced in pain.

[Q6]

3 -- JOHN MORRISON & R-TRUTH vs. THE HART DYNASTY (w/Natalya)

Striker complained about KISS and Rush not being in the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame, yet ABBA is, so maybe Truth and Morrison have a chance. Grisham asked him what he was talking about. Grisham talked about the Bret Hart-Vince McMahon angle on Raw and match scheduled for WrestleMania. This was an astoundingly short match. The Dynasty dominated against Morrison for a minute or so. Morrison made a hot tag to Truth. He hit his finishing kick and pinned Tyson Kidd.

WINNERS: Morrison & R-Truth in 2:00. It was right to give a win to Truth & Morrison, but this short match just buried the Hart Dynasty in terms of being seen as a serious team. Nothing against Natalya personally, but is there more of a useless third wheel act in wrestling right now? They do nothing with her, and it's not like the Dynasty is pushed enough to justify her airfare at this point. She's very underutilized in this role.

-A Cryme Tyme skit aired. They said they're going green as they counted their money. Shad said today's word is "showdown." J.T.G. said it's a "Slim Jim Showdown" text messaging challenge where fans can score points and get prizes. They gave out the text number to get prizes. That was the most blatant in-show commercial I've ever seen. It was twice as long as it needed to be, if you even accept it belongs on a show at all (which it doesn't since it's obviously preying on kids).

-A video package aired on the John Cena-Batista feud. [c]

4 -- REY MYSTERIO vs. LUKE GALLOS (w/C.M. Punk, Sarita)

Striker plugged that SummerSlam would take place at Staples Center, the site of this Smackdown. At 1:00 Luke sidestepped Rey and then slammed him at ringside chest-first over the security barrier. The ref began to count Rey out. Punk yelled at Rey to stay down. At the count of nine Rey slid back into the ring.

[Q7] [c]

Gallos had Rey in a bearhug mid-ring after the break. At 8:00 Rey made a comeback and scored an near fall after a springboard legdrop. Punk made great facial expressions from ringside throughout the match. Rey hit the 619 next. Punk tried to get into the ring. The ref turned to him. As Rey springboarded off the top rope, Sarita yanked him off balance. Gallos then covered Rey and scored the pin.

WINNER: Gallos in 9:00 so now if Rey loses to Punk at WrestleMania, Rey must join the Straight Edge Society. For how long? One day? Six months? Must he pay dues? Must he attend meetings? Just curious.

-Afterward Rey attacked Gallos at ringside. Striker said Rey has nothing to lose now as he defends his family's honor. Punk sat on the ring apron and watched, but Rey focused on Gallos. "We've never seen this from Rey Mysterio," said Grisham. Striker and the referee intervened. Rey then stared down punk and Sarita, then pounced back on Gallos. Punk moved in slowly toward Gallos and checked on him as Rey backed off. The announcers needed to remind viewers why Rey didn't attack Punk, especially now that he lost the match and can't lose the Street Fight stipulation anymore.

-They hyped the Undertaker vs. McIntrye main event. [c]

-The Raw Rebound aired focused on Steve Austin on Raw at the Vince-Bret contract signing.

[Q8]

-Grisham and Striker hard-sold WrestleMania at ringside. They hyped the line-up.

-Undertaker's ring entrance aired. [c]

5 -- DREW MCINTRYE vs. UNDERTAKER

The match began with four minutes left in the show. No marathon epic battle here. Drew bailed out to ringside as the bell rang. Taker chased after him and threw him face-first into the ring apron. In the ring he hit a clothesline in the corner. Drew fired back with a snap powerslam at 1:00 for a 1.5 count. He mounted and pounded Taker. As the ref scolded him, Taker sat up. Taker then threw Drew over the top rope to the floor. Back in the ring Taker gave Drew a chokeslam. Striker said it's all over. Taker then gave him a Tombstone for the win.

WINNER: Undertaker in 3:00. I'm not a fan of burying the IC Champ like this. I mean, I get that it's the Undertaker, but Drew looked like he might as well find a new vocation after being dominated like that. It's one thing if he's not being pushed and not the IC Champ, but this just defines him down as a scrub. It also makes the MITB match seem like an NIT Tournament.

-As Taker made his way onto the stage, Shawn Michaels came out and went after Taker. Taker went for a chokeslam, but Michaels escaped and then gave Taker a superkick. He then trash-talked Taker and said he won't end his career and his streak will end at WrestleMania.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Not a must-see show. The Punk-Rey stuff built up that match effectively. Edge and Jericho forwarded their feud nicely. And the Michaels-Taker angle at the end intensified the feud and brought it home to Smackdown-only viewers. Overall, middle of the road in terms of entertainment value in and out of the ring.

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