By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT
JANUARY 25, 2009
LIVE FROM COLUMBUS, OHIO
AIRED ON USA NETWORK

[Q1]

-After the Raw opening, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler introduced the show and hyped that the guest stars would be the co-stars of USA Network's hit show "Psych."

-The DX ring intro then took place. Triple H did the usual mic work. He asked Shawn Michaels where Hornswoggle was. Michaels said he told him to stay home because he's serious tonight and he wanted that rematch against Undertaker at WrestleMania. Triple H said he didn't feel more needed to be said because the time for joking and making people laugh is over because it's Royal Rumble time. He predicted that at the end of the day, after rather easily eliminating 28 other guys, it'll come down to them. He said they'll always be friends, "but if I have to step on your dream to achieve mine, that's exactly what I'm going to do." Michaels listened intently, then simply said, "I understand." As they were about to leave the ring, Ted DiBisae and Cody Rhodes began their ring entrance.

1 -- TRIPLE H & SHAWN MICHAELS vs. CODY RHODES & TED DIBIASE

This match happened with so little fanfare, it came across as if WWE didn't think it was a big deal. They cut to an early break with the teaser that they had breaking news on the guest hosts. [c] Back from the break, Cole and Lawler made it seem like foul play was possible with one of the "Psych" stars missing the show. Michaels dove off the top rope onto DiBiase and Rhodes at ringside at 8:00.

[Q2]

The heel duo took over the match, isolating Michaels. Cole marveled at the star power in the Rumble this year. At 10:00 Michaels reached for a hot-tag. Rhodes knocked Hunter off the apron. DiBiase entered the ring and went for Dream Street. Michaels escaped, kicked DiBiase, and hot-tagged Triple H. He gave DiBiase a running high knee and a spinebuster. He gave a spinebuster to an interfering Cody, also. As he set up a Pedigree, Michaels tagged himself in. Hunter turned and wasn't happy. Cody shoved Hunter into Michaels. Michaels kicked DiBiase as he charged at them. Hunter appeared to be attempting to clothesline Michaels, but Michaels ducked and he hit Rhodes instead. Michaels then covered DiBiase for the win. After some tense body language, Hunter and Michaels took a deep breath and shook hands.

WINNER: Michaels & Triple H in 11:00.

STAR RATING: *3/4

-They showed Cole and Lawler at ringside. They plugged the DX vs. C.M. Punk & Luke Gallos tag team title match on Smackdown on Friday. Cole then plugged the season premiere of "Psych" guest starring John Cena. They threw to a sneak peak video package.

-Lawler plugged that MVP vs. The Big Show was next. [c]

-MVP made his ring entrance. Lawler said, "MVP is the best wrestler I've ever known who spent nine years in prison. MVP said before he faces Big Show, he has something to say to Miz. He acknowledged that he's U.S. Champion, but he said Miz can't hide behind guest hosts and his new 500 lb. protector, and he can keep running his mouth, but he can't keep running away. He said eventually he has to defend his title against him, and when he does, he will lose. He said he's "straight up ballin'!"

[Q3]

Miz stepped out with the U.S. Title over his shoulder. "I'm not even sure what straight up ballin' is. Is that some euphemism for some unspeakable act that you picked up during your time behind bars?" He said he finds it shocking that the fans accept him even though he's been incarcerated. "And for some strange reason they can't stand me," he said. "I am treated like an outsider, like an outcast." He said while MVP was taking mug shots, he was a star of multiple reality shows. While MVP was making license plates, he was becoming a bigger celebrity than he or anyone in the building will ever be. "Maybe that's why everybody dislikes me," Miz said. MVP retorted: "No, the reason everybody hates you is because you are a jackass." MVP said if Miz were in prison, he'd be very popular, and in fact people would fighting each other in order to be his exclusive best friend in prison. Miz said he is the U.S. Champion and he'd love nothing more than to defend his U.S. Title against him right now. MVP told him to do it. Miz said he had a friend who wanted to make a statement about his intentions at the Rumble. He said MVP can enjoy his match against The Big Show while he enjoys being the U.S. Champion. He closed with his catch phrase and then Show's ring entrance took place.

2 -- THE BIG SHOW vs. MVP

Show dominated with his size and power from the start and finished him with a chokeslam decisively.

WINNER: Big Show in 1:00. Not sure about that match. It's hard to care that much about the U.S. Title if the no. 1 contender gets squashed like that by Big Show. It might as well be the Jobber Title or the Cruiserweight Title.

-Cole said Mr. McMahon has "come to a decision" regarding Bret Hart.

-A video aired hyping the Royal Rumble. [c]

-Rhodes talked to DiBiase, thanking him for sparing him that kick. Randy Orton jumped into the mix and addressed the tension between all of them. He said by some miracle all three of them were able to get on the same page, yet they go out and lose to DX. He then complained about them not having his back when he got jumped by Sheamus. He said they have to get it in their heads that only one man can win, so they should accept that. He said he will beat Sheamus and be WWE Champion again. He said he'll do that with or without them.

-They cut to John Cena and the "Psych" guest star Dule Hill. He talked about how excited he and America is over the season premiere of "Psyche." Cena asked what happened to James Roday. Hill said he had emergency appendectomy surgery. Cena said he had that surgery so he knows how serious it can be. Cena told Hill to do his thing and have a blast as guest host "make this your night." Hill said it's his playground. After Cena left, The Miz walked in. He said he can't believe "Psyche" wasted their time putting Cena on his show rather than Miz. Hill said they wanted him, but Mr. McMahon wouldn't let it happen. Miz told him not to patronize him. He said he had to Google his name to find out who he is. He said he's a bigger star than he and his co-star put together. He told him to listen when he talks. Hill told Miz to listen to him. He booked him tonight. Miz asked, "Really?" Hill said he doesn't like to waste his time with two year old bits from Saturday Night Live (snap!), so he walked away, leaving Miz wondering whom he'd be facing.

[Q4] [c]

3 -- MARYSE vs. EVE -- Diva's Title Tournament Semi-Final

As Maryse did some mic work before the match, Hill set off some pyro and celebrated like a little kid.

WINNER: Maryse in 2:00.

-They showed Vince McMahon heading to the ring to address the Bret Hart situation. [c]

-WWE Fact: WWE.com had over 4.3 million pageviews in 2009, beating CBS.com, NBC.com, FOX.com, ABC.com, UFC.com, NASCAR.com, and NBA.com.

-Vince McMahon made his ring entrance. A clip aired of Undertaker telling McMahon last week that he screwed Bret and it was an act of a coward.

[Q5]

-McMahon said if Undertaker were here tonight, he'd invite him to the ring and look him square in the eye and dare him to call him a coward. He bragged about selling Bret down the river to WCW "and he was never seen or heard from again." He said the fans had forgotten about Bret until Shawn Michaels forced him to bring him back. He asked the fans if there was a reason to bring Bret back again. The fans chanted "We want Bret! We want Bret!" Vince teased that he was listening to them, then announced that Bret would never be back in WWE. When they protested, he asked if they were all billionaires and smarter than him. He left the ring and went to ringside and asked a fan for one good reason he should bring Bret back. A fan said Bret would take him down in the ring. He mingled among the fans and again asked for one good reason to bring Bret back. A kid shouted, "He's awesome!" McMahon asked for a good business reason. He made fun of a fan in a "Damn!" t-shirt. McMahon climbed over the security railing somewhat awkwardly. He re-entered the ring and said he built an empire and there's no reason to bring Bret back because he's part of the past. He said he's concerned about the future, not a footnote of the past. He thanked the fans for their consideration and kindness. As he was about to leave the ring, Cena's music began.

Cena confronted McMahon in the ring. He said he didn't have a problem with him until he took unnecessary shots at Bret and before that Roddy Piper. He said he may have built an empire, but he had a lot of help doing it. He said every once in a while he gets an idea in his head that WWE Superstars who worked their butts off for everyone were nothing more than commodities, and when they hit their expiration date, they're gone. He asked if that's what he thinks about Undertaker, Batista and Cena. McMahon said he doesn't know what he's talking about. Cena said people don't respect him as a man because after all he's done, all he cares about is lining his pockets and serving his ego. He said he wanted the last thing fans saw of Bret was him kicking him in the gut. "You're right, you're not a coward. You're pathetic," Cena said. Cena ordered McMahon to invited Bret to Raw next week. He said he deserves a chance to confront you face-to-face. He said if he doesn't invite him, he proves to him and every other WWE Superstar and every loyal WWE fan that they are nothing more than a commodity to line his wallet and serve his ego.

He said if he doesn't invite Bret back, he told him to mark the date of Aug. 24, 2035, which will be Vince McMahon's 90th birthday. That brought laughter from the crowd for some reason. Cena said by then he'll be a used up piece of bubble gum who has lost his flavor, and he'll find him on that day and on behalf of everyone who has worked from him from Andre the Giant to Outback Jack to Bret Hart, he'll lift him out of his wheelchair and knock his teeth down his throat. He said he's not there to change his mind, but rather it's one of those situations where McMahon needs to do the right thing. Cena walked away. McMahon told him that was stupid and to stop right there. McMahon said he's no coward, and he'll invite Bret back. He said when Bret enters the ring, "I won't even flinch." McMahon then told Cena to wipe that smile off his face and ordered Cena to face Sheamus later on the show. Cena retained his smile. [c]

-They showed the exterior of the arena in Columbus, Ohio.

[Q5]

4 -- THE MIZ vs. KOFI KINGSTON

Cole said the Rumble is like the WWE All-Star Game each year. They named a bunch of big names in the match on Sunday. Lawler said it's the most star-studded Rumble match ever. Cole talked about the advantage of drawing the no. 30 entry spot for the Rumble. I miss the drawings that used to take place during the Raw before the Rumble. At 3:00 MVP's music played. That distracted Miz as he was in control of the match. Kofi then surprised Miz with his Trouble in Paradise kick for the win. MVP then walked out with a smile on his face.

WINNER: Kingston in 3:00.

-Hill walked into the WWE production truck with Carlito. He was in awe of the equipment. He said the pyro thing earlier was a mistake. "I'm not a button presser," he said. Carlito said if he had found him at the start of the night, he could have kept him out of trouble. Hill asked the director what all of those buttons do. He asked him to bring up Carlito's graphic. The producer did it. Carlito asked Hill to book him in a title match. Hill randomly punched a button and up came Kelly Kelly as his opponent. Carlito went from worried to ecstatic. He said he might be the best guest host of all-time. Carlito said he had to stretch, but then thought for a second and said he's basically ready as is. He invited Hill to hang with him after the show, but Hill said he had had to catch a flight. [c]

-Santino stepped onto the stage and plugged the "Best of Raw 2009" DVD. He said he's going to do something to get into the "Best of Raw 2010" DVD. He said he would replace Kelly against Carlito, then go on to shock the world and win the Rumble.. Jack Swagger attacked Carlito from behind and threw him into the ring. Carlito stepped out of the ring. Swagger tossed Santino over the top rope to the floor. He then rammed his face into the ringpost and then did push-ups right in front of him. He stood and pounded his chest in celebration.

-Cole plugged the Cena vs. Sheamus main event.

[Q7] [c]

-A video packaged aired on the history of the 30-man Rumble with key stats and highlights from over the years. Lawler and Cole were shown at ringside. They hyped the line-up for the whole PPV.

-Backstage Cena continued to chat with Hill. Cena revealed that he put his cohost James Roday on the phone. He threw some insults at Sheamus, including the Carrot Top insult. Alicia Fox walked into the room. Roday went from happy to sad because he wasn't there to be with her. They hung up on him. Alicia asked Hill to predict what would happen in her match, even though Roday is the psychic on the show. Hill said he sees a fox standing victorious in the ring. He said he'd be ringside for her. Hill got a little obnoxious as he asked her to tell him what happens if he's wrong. She walked away. Cena said perhaps if they're wrong she's going to find Mark Henry, Mark Henry will find him, and Mark Henry will remove his appendix the hard way. Hill said, "You're joking, right?" [c]

[Q8]

5 -- ALICIA FOX vs. GAIL KIM -- Divas Title Tournament Final

Hill joined Cole and Lawler at ringside. Kim didn't even get a ring intro, but she did upset Fox to advance to the Diva Tournament Finals.

WINNER: Kim in 3:00.

Fox threw a fit at ringside afterward and demanded to know from Hill what happened to her win. Hill broke the news to her that Roday was the guy who played a psychic on their show, not him. He said he's just an actor, and he's merely a friend of a fake psychic. He asked her if they could call it water under the bridge. He said he liked her shoes. She slapped him hard and stormed away. Lawler apologized to Hill for what he just endured.

-They showed Sheamus heading toward the entrance tunnel. [c]

-Cole plugged the McMahon-Bret Hart summit next week. Apparently they assume Bret has nothing better to do and automatically available. Lawler plugged that William Shatner was next week's guest host. Should be a very highly rated show the day after the Rumble with the return of Bret.

6 -- JOHN CENA vs. SHEAMUS

Surprising lack of any TV time for the WWE Champion on the final show before the Rumble. The focus was not at all on his title match with Orton, with the only hype being Orton's backstage segment which was pretty generic. The match began with two minutes left in the second hour. Cena had control at 1:00.

[Q9]

Sheamus reversed a Cena attempt at an Attitude Adjustment at 4:00 for a two count. Sheamus whipped Cena into the ringside steps at 6:00. Cole wondered if Sheamus was one of those opponents who just had Cena's number. At 8:00 Sheamus went for his thrust kick, but Cena avoided it and applied the STF. Sheamus bailed out to ringside. Cena followed. Sheamus nailed him with a thrust kick to the jaw. Sheamus rolled into the ring as the ref began the count on Cena. Cole said Sheamus would gladly take a countout win. Orton then ran into the ring and gave Sheamus an RKO out of nowhere. The ref called for the DQ

WINNER: Sheamus via DQ in 10:00.

STAR RATING: *1/2 -- Nothing that'd get anyone excited about the WWE product. The match was just sorta there, like a dark match after a taping, not a live main event meant to sell people the Rumble.

-Afterward, Cena began to climb back into the ring. Orton set him up for an RKO, but Cena made a Tommy Dreamer Comeback and gave Orton an Attitude Adjustment. He celebrated over the fallen bodies of Orton and Sheamus. They should have saved last week's show ending for this week.

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