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5/12 Raw review: Guttman's "alt perspective" review

May 13, 2003 - 1:47:00 AM
PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO BOOKMARK US & VISIT US DAILY


By James Guttman, Torch Team Contributor

WWE Raw
May 12, 2003
Live from Philadelphia, Pa.
Broadcast live on TNN


You know that feeling you get when you watch a TV show that talks about collectibles from when you were a kid? You know how when you realize that the He-Man figures or Thudercats are worth so much now, it's almost like your childhood has ended? Well tonight was just like that. Tonight was the epic return of the Road Warriors. Yes, Hawk and Animal returned to WWE. Now, before anythingI told you. I told you last Thursday. This could not have gone well. It didn't. The Doomsday Device lowered the boom. The Warriors hit the ring! The match began! UhhhhWhat a letdown.

But that's just one piece of the giant Raw puzzle tonight. Philly is opening up its hardcore doors for the boys of Monday with a show like no other. Will Christian start Bill Goldberg's losing streak inside of a 15-foot high steel cage? How can the Texas Rattlesnake Steve Austin and Eric Bischoff co-exist as the comically mismatched Raw General Managers? Will Big Daddy Cool Kevin Nash catch up to Triple H? Was Hunter arrested for carjacking? Can Chris Jericho survive his encounter with Big Kev? Is Shawn Michaels here? Are the Road Warriors here? Well, you know they are. I already told you that. But the other questions you're probably still curious about, right? Right? Even a little curious? I can't blame you. But let's look just for the hell of it and give TNN some ratings before they change the name. 9PM. Monday Night. Let's watch Raw.

No Raw Theme. No entrance music. Raw opens with Christian in the ring, surrounded by a steel cage. He's here to reach out to Steve Austin and plead for the cancellation of this match. Not only does he think that this bout is of no interest to the fans, but he has a photo shoot tomorrow. How could Stone Cold book him in this match and how could he make it first? First? Yup, it's the last rites of the Canadian Christian. Good luck on getting the match called off due to fan interest. If they did that, Hunter and Kevin Nash would be doing other storylines. Come on, Steve-o. Let's call the whole thing off.

Do you know what my watch is saying? Oh hell yeah. What? Did I stutter? Eh eh! What? There can't be any other way. Cause that's the bottom line and there ain't a damn thing you can do about it, son. D.T.A. Look at ya, with your stupid little

Out comes the Stone Cold GM Steve Austin. He circles the ring and calls to the crowd. You know, Christian. Steve has had enough of your excuses. You come out here in your stupid little tights. But Steve Shut up. Why are you even out here, Broodboy? The match ain't till later. In fact, ol Buffalo Bill Goldberg isn't even in the arena yet. (JG Note: Maybe he went to Stu Hart's dungeon to learn a front facelock.) The crowd does great good in take with the "Whats" and only offered them when they were appropriate. There's nothing worse than when they "What" the entire segment. This wasn't one of those times. Christian doth protest. You told him that this was going to be the first match. You stuck up your finger and told him he was up. Oh silly Chris, you misunderstood. Ol Ringmaster Steve flipped you the bird. Well Mr. GM, Christian has news for you. He knows where the anger is rooted. You're upset because his mentor, the man who christened him the new People's Champ , the Rock defeated him at WrestleMania. Uh oh

Slowly, Steve lowers his hand to the microphone His face downward, the struggle of restraint appears to engulf his body like a brush fire spreading throughout a forest. As he regains his composure, he looks up at a concerned Christian. He stares directly into his eyes.

Stone Cold:(coldly) I am trying very hard not to lose my patience.

Crowd tosses back a "Lose it" chant. Great stuff. You know what, Chrissy? You are fighting Bill Goldberg tonight. If you don't then old Stone Cold is gonna yank you right out of that Intercontinental Battle Royal.

Oh dude, you got some Visine? I'm on early. One of a Kind!

Look at that Rob Van Dam. RVD hits the ring with his Intercontinental Title slung over his shoulder. The cage rises back to the rafters as Mr. Monday Night steps between Stunning Steve and the People's Christian. Robby just stopped by to tell everybody that he was entering the Battle Royal. Ohand he's going to win it too. New IC Champ Rob Van Dam. Edge's little brother has issues with that. The People want him to be the winner of the title! Ever the mediator, Superstar Steve settles it. We'll take a survey. If you want to see Christian get his greasy little ass kicked, give me a hell yeah!

Hell Yeah!

That looks like fun, Van Dam takes a stab and tells the audience that if they want to see Mr. P.P.V. take the gold, give him a "Rob Van Dam"

People in the cheap seats that can't hear to good chant Rasta Fram! Rasta Fram!

Of course this gives Christian Cage an idea. If they want to see Austin and Rob get off his back and give him the night off, chant "Christian Rules!"

Boo! Christian doesn't rule! Boo! USA! Goldberg! We want Tables! What!?

Steve can't take it anymore. Everybody is stealing his material. This ends here. If Christian doesn't hit the bricks, the Rattlesnake will not only yank him from the Battle Royal but he'll also Stun him right here. So what's it gonna be?

The Fire Still Burns Seriously, what the hell does that mean?

Out steps the fiery Yin to RVD's Yang, Kane. With the other half of the tag straps dangling from his charred shoulder Dr. Kane steps into the squared circle and takes a microphone. He has a message for his fellow burn out. You see Rob, you guys might be partners. You might be friends. Heck, you might even be the bestest friends in the whole wide world. But come Judgement Day, Unibomb Kane is taking the gold in the Intercontinental Battle Royal. Even if it means tossing his partner out of the ring. Robby V hears you, Big Man. But if push comes to shove, you're the one who'll be out on your butt. Again, Stone Cold steps in to ease the tension. Let's have another Stone Cold Beer Bash. Toss me a cold one

I'm back.and wish I knew Jenna

Here he is, Easy E himself, Eric Bischoff. Hey Hollywood Blonde, last week the Bisch said he was raising the bar. He didn't mean the beer you get at the bar. (JG Note: Or the strippers you get at the bar.) He meant that he was going to raise the bar for competition. He went out and found himself a team that has a tremendous reputation. A team that Rob and Kane have never faced. Why am I still trying to drag this out for you? I already told you

It's the Road Warriors.

(1) World Tag Team Champions Rob Van Dam & Kane defeated The Legion of Doom when RVD pinned Hawk Bad. Terrible. Depressing. Embarrassing. This was horrible. Again, I told you.. This match did far more to damage the memory and legacy of the LOD than it did to elevate Rob and Kane. It was just a poor poor match with more missed spots than good spots. They looked out of place and tired. At some points, the Warriors were out of position in the ring. Hawk even had trouble handling the running of the ropes. It was just a horrible showing. I hate writing this. Believe me, I do. I just regret that I had to see it. The Legion should have left well enough alone. Droz pushed you off the TitanTron. Leave it at that. Doomsday Device miss by Hawk found him trapped in a chokeslam and hit with a Frog Splash. Three seconds laterthe Roadies are done. Did I mention - I told you so?


Trish is sitting at the make-up chair when she's accosted by Censored Steven Richards and Victoria. The insane couple lay the verbal smackdown on Stratus. Tonight Toria's taking your beauty. She's gonna make you real ugly. She runs off laughing with her man. This reminded me of GLOW skit.

Commercial Break. WWE returns to Madison Square Garden. Ticked go on sale May 17th. If you show at the Box Office, you can meet Scott Steiner! The first 50 fans will get punched in the face!


Still to Come Goldberg v Christian Cage in auh, cage. Also, Kevin Nash meets Chris Jericho. I'm sorry.

Recap of The Nash versus Triple H Brawl Mini-Movie last week. They should have had an intermission during it.

The King of the World Chris Jericho is gearing up for his match with Diesel when he's approached by the Game Triple H. Hunter has some trivia for Y2J+3. Did you know that one year ago in this very arena Kevin Nash tore his quad? (JG Note: Oh my God that was a year ago? I've been bored for a really long time.) Isn't that Ironic, Trips? Don't you think? Considering that Jericho tore your quad once? Yeah I really do think. But Gameboy points out that Chris's career soared after that moment. Fozzy concedes that he did "skyrocket" after that. Well, let Trips do you one better. Say you tear Kevin's quad tonight. You would be the most famous wrestler ever. In what fantasy alter-reality is this interview taking place? Skyrocketed? Beat Nash? I feel like they're being sarcastic. They shake on it and agree that the idea is best for all involved.

A limo pulls up to the arena and the door opens to revealGoldberg! Eh. Bill is on his cell as he swings the backdoor open. But suddenly, a rogue limo revs up and runs full force into the door slamming it closed. I think Goldberg has a limo curse. At least it wasn't a white Hummer. Watch a commercial.

Commercial Break. In the Stacker 2 Commercial when the guy says to Big Show, "I see you didn't take your Stacker 2 today." He should really say, "I see you didn't take your Stacker 2 ever."

Recap of the crazy driver that hates limousine doors.

Whoa, Stone Cold! Hold up. Let Teddy Long holla atcha, Playa. Look Steve, Rodney Mack is proving his worth each and every week. In fact, tonight he's not beating one white boy. He's beating two white boys. You feel him? So how about you Back the Mack and put a man of soul and color in the Battle Royal for the IC belt? You know, Peanuthead, that ain't a bad idea t'all. Tell you what, Booker T can be in the match. What? Surely you can't be serious, Playa. Steve tells Teddy, "Don't call me Playa." (JG Note: and don't call me Shirly). Theodore's complaining is cut off as his music hits in the arena and the promo is cut short. It's like when they played the music to get Sinatra off the stage at the Grammys. I actually thought Steve was going to say Jazz, not Booker when announcing the entry. Whatever works.

(2) Rodney Mack defeated Two White Boys in the Double White Boy Challenge How about The White Boy Express? No? The New Age White Boys? Anywho, the name isn't important as Mr Macky made quick work of this squash, mmmkay. Sick bumps by the jobbers in this one. Again Long joined Jerry and Jim in the Nitro position to push his man. No much to say on this. 1:29 in Rodney forced a submission. Beliedat.

Still to comethe match we've been waiting for.

Commercial Break. Judgement Day Commercial focusing on the Kevin Nash versus Triple H feud. Seeing the entire rivalry portrayed in one of these short music video style commercials should make it seem good, right? I can't imagine that this is the best match they can think of to headline the Raw side. At least Smackdown has Brock Lesnar againstthe Big Show? What? Ahhhh!

Eric is outside and he's frazzled. He dismisses the pushy Coach's questions as he enters the arena. Suddenly he's stopped by the Hollywood Fashion Plate Freddie Blassie. Legendary but older, Blassie is seated in a wheelchair and he's joined by his wife. Oh look, Bisch. Blassie wrote a book. Fred insults Uncle Eric though and Schoff leaves him talking to air. Steps away stood Rico. Concerned over the floundering Three-Minute Warning, Sideburns asks Easy E for some advice on how to get his team over again. With a sly look, Bischy calls out to Freddie to wheel out to the ring. JR doesn't put two and two together and yells out "Go get em, Fred!" Apparently my girlfriend and I are smarter than the announcers. Where does kayfabe end and common sense begin?

Steve Austin and his mutated twin Bill Goldberg meet face to face. Stone Cold asks Bill if he's alright following the heinous limo attack. Steve can relate. Did you see the driver? Was it Rikishi? Goldberg says he didn't get a look at the attacker but his anger will be taken out on Christian tonight. He then stands there and snorts. I think Bill has a deviated septum or asthma or something. Maybe everybody thinks that he's trying to be intimidating but he really just can't breathe. Wouldn't we all fell bad then? Stop snorting, Goldbergler, get ready for your match.

Confidential is going to be about Elizabeth again. This time we talk about how Liz was abused by Lex Luger. The first one went off without too many people condemning the company. You know Vince. He'll keep doing it until eventually he's totally crossed the delicate line between good taste and repulsive. This one doesn't look like it's such a great idea

Commercial Break. A dog in a shirt just told me he'd drive me anywhere I want to go starting at $15. I think I better go lay down for a while.

Freddie Blassie is wheeled out by his wife and joined by Eric Bischoff. Bisch tells Mrs. Blassie that she can leave and she runs off. (JG Note: She ran away because she knows Eric likes mature women.) You've been around a long time, huh Fred? When pressed for his age, he tells Easy E that he's 23. They push the book and Schoff checks his old Swatch Watch. Seems that Vampire Freddie has about Three Minutes.

From the crowd, Three Minute Warning and Rico rush the ring. With a smile like the cat that swallowed the canary, Eric rolls Classy Freddie up the ramp as the Islanders and their Stylist shout insults to him. It seems like someone forgot to cue the music for Blassie's eventual savior because the trio awkwardly circle Freddie until eventually.

Glass Shatters

What? Eric. What? Didn't your partner warn you about this? Well ol Stone Cold says that no one is taking down Freddie Blassie tonight. Eh eh! In fact, while you're keen on making independent decisions, Austin has one of his own. You remember those peeps you suspended? You know the table guys? Well here they are

It's a Philly Homecoming for the Dudley Boys as they run up the ramp and into the ring. They go toe to toe with the Three-Minute Men and the crowd reacts surprisingly low key. Early chants of "We Want Tables" which are eventually turned around into "Wassup" (JG Note: Isn't that outdated? Why don't they name a move the "Whoop There It Is" or "Don't Go There?") But following the 3D, Bubba hits D-Von and prepares for his victory cry when he's interrupted by the Ringmaster. Hold up, boys. Freddie Blassie has something to say.

"D-Von, get the tables!"
Freddie Blassie 9:51PM

Austin reiterates the request and the Duds comply. They indeed do get the tables and Rico goes through one. Following the end to the non-match, Stone Cold enters and celebrates alongside the Boys with some beer. They spill it all over themselves and Steve leaves. My girlfriend points out that he abandoned Freddie Blassie. I wonder if he's still sitting there.


Christian has a chair. He's walking. I have a remote. I'm watching

Commercial Break. Did you notice that the Turtlewax Spray and Wash commercial has fine print that reads "Hand Wash Heavy Soil." Well, if I can hand wash heavy soil, I could probably handle light soil too. Why do I need to buy your stuff?

Christian! Christian! You're Goldberg's Stepping Sto-oh-one!

Christian hits the ring first and explains the mystery origins of his pet chair. This is the people's chair. It's the same chair he busted over Bill's head. He should sell that on Ebay.

Mr. Goldbergyou're next. Ha ha. That's funny. You get it, Mr. Goldberg? It's like when you say who's next. Ha ha..ahem. I'm sorry. Please don't kill me.

(3) Goldberg pinned Christian after a Jackhammer in a Cage Match This wasn't much to speak of early on. Pretty slow paced with Billy G playing the monster until Christian hit a low blow. After retrieving the People's Chair, Chris opened up on Goldy with some stiff stiff stiff looking chair shots. He beat him worse than a High School Senior Girl in a game of Powderpuff Football. (JG Note: Badaboom ching.) Happy with his trouncing, the Canadian attempts to escape the cage but is pulled back in. Match continues and the crowd seems to lose interest. Berg throws Christian to and fro, opening up a gash on his forehead. He completely destroys the former UnAmerican and ends this via pinfall after a Jackhammer. It could have been a lot worse. Better than some of the other segments we had tonight.

Commercial Break. "New York LotteryHey, you never know." No, I do know. I won't win.

Nature Boy Ric Flair runs head on into Steve Austin. Apparently Flair is still in love with Hunter because he's spreading the Gospel of H. Suddenly the Great Gazoo Hurricane shows up and tells Naitch that this Sunday Kevin Nash will do to Triple H again what he did last week. (JG Note: He's gonna do that again? Ugh. That was boring last week. Kev, please do something different.) Common Hurricane silliness calling Trips a beeotch. Steve again makes everything calm by signing Flair versus Hurricane to a matchright now! The only stipulation is that they need to end the match in the ring. Game on

(4) Ric Flair defeated the Hurricane via submission Good brawl. Slick Ric can still put on a good performance. I say it every time he wrestles because each time I'm surprised. Very Old School style melee went from the backstage area to the announcer table up the ramp and into the ring. At one point, Cane goes for a sunset flip and tears apart Flair's pants exposing his red underwear and eventually his entire Nature Butt. Honestly, Ric has exhibitionist issues. Some near falls by Hurricane but all for naught as the Dirtiest Player in the Game clipped his knee and locked on the Figure Four for the surprising submission victory.


Triple H walks up the ramp and holds the crazy Flair back from beating Helms any further. But as they exit the ring, Helmsley turns around and Pedigrees the little green man. His music blares over the speakers. Ridiculous. This is funny. Ric Flair just gave a great performance for a man his age and scored a win over someone who pinned the Rock less than two months ago, but the segment ends in your music. Hurricane sacrificed a pretty big hit to his aura in order to give Flair some much-needed wins. Hunter comes out for about a minute, hits the Pedigree and we go to commercial with his music and posing. It's all about the Game. As they left the ring, Ross hinted that Flair might be better than the Game. Oh no. I hope the next Trips feud isn't with Ric Flair. I'm going to go and ponder that while you watch the

Commercial Break. Ed Norton and Marky Mark star in "The Italian Job." Yeah, they sound pretty Italian to me.

We're set for action as Test and Scott Steiner make their way to the ring alongside Miss Stacy. Test looks out at all his fans. as the announcers inform us that it will be Mr. Tickle and the Big Bad Booty Daddy meeting La Resistance at Judgement Day.

Out steps La Resistance and Christopher Nowinski. Renee and Sylvan's outfits make me embarrassed as a man. I guess they're supposed to be openly French? Well, the French Fun Boys and Nowinski cut a strong anti-USA promo and condemn the US for not finding WMDs in Iraq. Boy am I glad I never did that I2I about how Vince was too classy to exploit the war.


(5) Scott Steiner, Test and Goldust defeated La Resistance & Christopher Nowinski when Scott pinned Nosinski A word to the wise: When even playing on the Patriotism of the City of Brotherly Love during a time of Global Conflict won't get the crowd going, you should probably do something different. Line of the match was JR calling an obviously careless belly-to-belly suplex, calling for suplexes like that to be banned. It hurts me to watch Scott Steiner wrestle. It's like watching those crazy "Caught on Film" disasters. I wince every two minutes. Dead crowd for a lot of this. Freakzilla squashed Chris with a falling reverse DDT for the win. Following the bell, Kiebs gave a hug to Scott before Test. Uh oh. PsstAndrew. I heard from Bobby who talked to Cindy who got a note from Stacy in homeroom that she thinks Scott is cute.

Shhhbe ver-wy, ver-wy quiet Victoria and Stevie Richards are hunting for Canadian Fitness Models. They'll get a chance after the

Commercial Break. US Dept of Transportation wants me to buckle up. They have a new slogan "Click it or Ticket." Yeah, but if you give me a ticket, can't I just "Chuck It and say"

Boomer Sooner and King Jerry give us the line-up thus far for the Intercontinental Title Battle Royal: Test, RVD, Kane, Goldust, Booker T, Chris Jericho, Lance Storm, and Shawn Michaels. Lawler mentioned HBK and I think it may have been a mistake as he eventually retracted his statement. Also La Resistance meet Big Poppa Pump and Big Teeth Test in tag action. Then from there we have a Fatal Four Way between Trish, Jazz, Jacqueline and Victoria for the Women's strap. Then the big main event for Raw, it's Triple H with Ric Flair versus Kevin Nash with Shawn Michaels (JG Note: When you're ego is fed daily and your head gets incredibly big, what do you wear to keep it warm?). We then cut to the Smackdown announcers Michael Cole and Tazz who beg you to watch UPN Thursdays. Why don't you watch? They have Mr. America. Come on, please! Matches for the Thursday Roster are: Sable v Torrie Wilson in a bikini match. Los Guerreros challenging WWE Tag Champs Team Angle in a Ladder Match. Then in the main event, Big Show meets Brock Lesnar in a Stretcher Match. Cole says it's the first Stretcher Match in 17 years for the promotion. (JG Note: I'm not looking it up. Expect to see "DETAILS ON THE LAST WWF STRETCHER MATCH" headlines all over the place.)

Chris Jericho delivers a no frills wrestling promo talking about his past accomplishments, his eventual victory in the Intercontinental Rumble and his upcoming win over Kevin Nash. Didn't he use to have a talk show on Raw? Wellthat was fun.

Commercial Break. Grumpiness is another unfortunate side effect of Hunger. Unfortunately, obesity and tooth decay is another unfortunate side effect of Snickers.

Ohit's time to rock-n-roll.this time I'm in control.I won't do PlayboyI'm hosting Slamming Saturday Night

Victoria and Steven Richards, who are probably one of my favorite parts of this show consistently each week, make their way to the ring. This is Philly, though. So counteract Steve's outside assistance will be the Innovator of Violence aka the Guy Vince McMahon had drink out of a urinal for a push, Tommy Dreamer!

(6) Trish Stratus defeated Victoria in a Hardcore Match It's funny how even though there are no rules, the ref still motions to the women not to pull hair and stay off the ropes. I guess he can't go sit down on the bottom turnbuckle and wait for a pin. It was good for nostalgia stake to see Richards and Dreamer on opposite sides in Philadelphia. Stevie is capable of so many things and has done so much with what WWE's given him. The match was pretty good too. Highlight was definitely Vicki swinging a trash can lid at Trish, only to find Stratus perform a perfect backbridge and spring back up with a kick. Honestly it was like something out of the Matrix. Some belt shots by Vicki, followed by a choke leaves Miss Trish gasping for air. Richards tries to get involved but is thwarted by Dreamer. With all hell breaking loose, Trish nails Vicki with a kendo stick and seals the deal with the slingshot bulldog. Yeah! That one's for Toronto!

Legendary Oz Diesel (LOD) Kevin Nash is making his way to the ring. Notice how I foreshadowed his performance?

Commercial Break. Twixuh ok. Yeah. Let's go clubbing and then eat a Twix.

(7) Kevin Nash pinned Chris Jericho after a powerbomb I think in many ways this was a momentous episode of Raw. It is the first time that the problems with the show were so apparent. This contest from start to finish was horrendous. I think one of the main things that the promoters, and even the fans in many cases, don't realize is that Kevin Nash's limited ring skills contribute to his heat as a heel. Nash isn't a great athlete. He can't really carry a good contest. That's something few will dispute at this point. A heel can be lazy in the ring. He can prance around and take five-minute breaks to jaw with the crowd. A face can't do that. A face needs to be upbeat and right the wrongs. That's not Kevin. JR tops the previous line of the night when he informed us that Nash's face down prone body in the ring was all part of a big strategy. Jim actually complimented Diesel on remembering that he "can't get pinned on his stomach." Ross calls it a Good veteran move. Jim Ross, some business advice from me to you. No one buys barbecue sauce from a man who sells crap. There's stretching the truth and then there's "come on" JR, come on. Tony Shiavone called and said that this match was the most important match in the history of our sport. Get my meaning? Nash sets up Jericho for the powerbomb when Triple H rushes the ring. He attacks the Master Blaster and tosses Earl Hebner from the ring. A still half-naked Flair joins in but so does Shawn Michaels! Ric Flair still had the ripped pants on doesn't he have anything else to put on? As HBK hits the ring, JR screams "He's nailing everything that moves!" (JG Note: I'm sure you can think of plenty.) Nash walks through the motions and hits Jericho with a powerbomb while the Boy Toy Superkicks an ambushing Flair and counts the three.

As the two pose, the Gamy One plans a sneak attack and is caught. Diesel stalks his prey and hits Trip with a powerbomb as Michaels again counts three. The duo celebrate and Nash whispers something in Shawn's ear (JG Note: Yo, Shawny, that match sucked, right?). The Heartbreak Kid and Big Daddy Cool pose as we fade to black.

All in all a show with split personalities. I don't think WWE could have done a better job of producing a show that illustrates precisely what is right and wrong with the company. The parts that were bad were very bad. The parts that were good stood out. Let's start with the Legion of Doom. First of all, I told you... Secondly, the comeback will do little if anything except hurt their credibility. The match was one of the worst I've ever seen and even Kane and RVD who are anything but bad wrestlers couldn't carry this to decency. Flair's storyline was confusing on so many levels. Hurricane has been on a roll. He was even put over the Rock at the height of the Great One's comeback popularity. Tonight, he loses clean to Ric Flair. Fine. I can see the point I guess. A part of me thinks that Hunter will turn on Naitch and possibly form a trio with HBK and Kev. But if not, Flair has now been put over Hurricane. Then after all that, we go back to Triple H again. It was almost like a parody. It's hard to believe that Triple H and Kevin Nash, who are supposed wrestling students that study the industry, can't see how poor this is for the entire product. I think the Diesel is out of gas. I wish we could sell it for parts, but Hunter is still pushing it along the highway. However the good parts of the show were the opening segment up until the Road Warriors and dare I say the Christian versus Goldberg segment. Well that's that, peeps. See ya in the LOUNGE on Thursday and back here next Monday Same Alt Review Time, Same Alt Review Channel. Got something to say? Say it here: JGuttman@PWTorch.com. Where's Paul Ellering when you need him?


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