By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
DECEMBER 18, 2009
TAPED IN LAREDO, TEX.
AIRED ON MY NETWORK TV

[Q1]

-Footage aired from TLC of the reversal of the finish that awarded Batista the World Title in his match against the Undertaker.

-After the Smackdown opening, Todd Grisham and Matt Striker introduced the show. Grisham referred to the 1997 Survivor Series finish as the "Montreal Screwjob." He compared what happened to Batista to that. WWE has now completely, with the signing of Bret Hart, co-opted the entire "Montreal Screwjob" into nothing more than an angle (which it wasn't at the time, as it was very real). Bret, by signing with WWE, has signed of on the final step necessary to reduce what happened to him to an angle for WWE to manipulate and exploit. I wasn't even sure if "screwjob" was a term exclusive to wrestling or not, and based on a quick Google search, it's used in other contexts, but the majority of page one search returns are related to Bret Hart and Montreal. It's weird hearing WWE incorporate that term into TV storylines as the official title of what happened when it was outsiders defending Bret who created and popularized that term with an anti-Vince McMahon, anti-WWE slant.

-Teddy Long walked out and said since Undertaker defended his title on Sunday, they'd begin to determine the new no. 1 contender. Batista stepped onto the stage and interrupted. He said there was no need to look for a no. 1 contender "because he's right here." He told Long that he insists he fix what happened on Sunday and make it right. He got in Long's face and threatened to pick up a chair. Rey Mysterio's music interrupted and Rey walked onto the stage. Rey said Batista always underestimated him and didn't take into account his heart. He said you don't have to be 6-5 and jacked up on muscle to be champion. He said his way to get even is to be sure Batista is never champion again. He challenged him.

Long told Batista he will face Mysterio one-on-one later to determine the no. 1 contender. Long said this will be a straight-up wrestling match, no special stips, so he can lose by DQ, pinfalll, or countout. He said on Christmas night, the winner get a special Christmas present - a match against Undertaker. Grisham called it the "ultimate Christmas gift." [c]

-Several minutes of ring intros aired for the next match including a full rendition R-Truth of his intro song. It ate up five minutes total of TV time.

[Q2]

1 -- JOHN MORRISON & R-TRUTH & MATT HARDY vs. DREW MCINTRYE & C.M. PUNK & LUKE GALLOWS

One minute into the match, they cut to a break. [c] Gallos got sustained offense on Morrison, then tagged in McIntyre. At 11:00 Morrison hot-tagged Hardy. Striker he was fighting "for everyone who's ever been told what to do." Groan. Hardy hit a Side Effect for a two count. Gallos broke up the pin. Truth ran in, then so did McIntrye. Punk yanked Morrison off the top roep, then blocked a Hardy Twist of Fate attempt. Punk then hit Hardy in his "surgically repaired abdomen" with his Slammy Award trophy for the three count. Striker said thanks to Punk cleaning up his life, he had the clarity to take advantage of the situation in help Punk score the pin.

WINNERS: Punk & Gallos & McIntrye in 12:00.

STAR RATING: ** -- Basic stuff. Fine.

-Maria and Melina were playing videogames backstage when the power went out on the unit. Beth Phoenix walked in with the cord in her hand. She scolded them for playing videogames instead of preparing to try to win the Divas Title. Melina congratulated Maria for her Slammy win. Phoenix said she's going to make sure Maria's return to Smackdown is short-lived.

[Q3] [c]

-Grisham plugged Tribute to the Troops photos at the WWE website.

-Triple H and Shawn Michaels donned their smarmy smiles and plugged merchandise. Yawn. It was the same skit from Raw where Hornswoggle outwitted them.

-Grisham plugged that DX would invade Smackdown next week. Now that they're tag team champions, they should be regulars on the show. [c]

-WWE Fact: Over 16 million people watch WWE every week in the U.S. If you are one person who watched Raw, ECW, Superstars, and Smackdown this week, you were counted five times (twice for watching Raw!). It's funny math.

-Eric Oscobar walked out and said something about calling National Geographic after seeing Vickie Guerrero in her neglige. What a jerk. He said there's nothing worse than being in a relationship with her. Vickie walked out and did her "Excuse me!" bit. She said she was upset with him saying inconsiderate things about her, so in return she's brought him something. She said it's his birthday, so she brought him a gift. "Happy Birthday, baby!" she said. Kane's ring intro began.

[Q4]

2 -- KANE vs. ERIC ESCOBAR

WINNER: Kane in 2:00 with a chokeslam.

-Vickie laughed uproariously afterward. She told Escobar to choose his words more wisely in the future. Escobar struggled to stand up and then told her she's right. He said he will be ready to fight another day when he wakes up tomorrow, but for her, she'll wake up still looking like that. This is just so unpleasant to have a babyface focus on a woman's looks as the centerpiece of his attack. What strange complex does the writer (Vince? Staff?) have with some woman in their lives that they were inspired to push forth this sexist, hateful drivel as an ongoing storyline on a show aimed in part at kids and teens? [c]

-Chris Jericho walked to the ring without his tag title belt, but with Slammy Award trophy. He talked about what an outrage and injustice it was that his tag titles were stolen. He said everyone ganged up against him. He said his best friend and partner, Big Show, has been taken from him, "leaving me all alone to fend for myself." He said his only choice now is to dominate Smackdown on Friday nights. Then out came The Great Khali and the my vote for most annoying on-air character of the decade, Khali's "brother" Ranjin Singh.

3 -- THE GREAT KHALI (w/Ranjin Sing) vs. CHRIS JERICHO

Jericho bailed out to ringside when Khali entered the ring. Khali chopped Jericho in the head as soon as he entered the ring. He stomped on him in the corner. Jericho bailed out to ringside again. He climbed back in and leaped at Khali off the top rope, but Khali caught him and then chopped him again. Khali went for the vice grip, so Jericho rolled to the floor to avoid it and just walked to the back, getting intentionally counted out.

WINNER: Khali in 3:00 via countout.

[Q5] [c]

-Not sure why they went to a break at the very top of the hour once again. That's just a ratings momentum killer going into the second hour. I get that Vince McMahon doesn't watch SD ratings nearly as closely as Raw on a weekly basis, but it has to be hurting their ability to gain new viewers at the top of the hour when My Network is at a break while so many is channel surfing.

4 -- THE HART DYNASTY (w/Natalya) vs. SLAM MASTER J & JIMMY WANG YANG

Striker said Master J is trying to pull Yang over to the "hip hop side of the ATL." Grisham said Yang wants to be called the "Asian Redneck Gangster" now. Yang and Master J dove to ringside onto the Dynasty. Wang then went to work on Kidd inside the ring. Some nicely paced action culminated with a Hart Attack clothesline on Master J for the win.

WINNERS: Hart Dynasty in 3:00.

-Afterward, Natalya said they finally will get a chance to face Degeneration X. She said next week may be a DX Christmas, but it will be the Hart Dynasty's time to celebrate. D.H. Smith actually talked. He said it'd be great to cap of Christmas by ending their final run as tag team champions (their only run, actually). He said unlike their fathers, they will not be intimidated and they will not back down. Kidd said it's a new era in the Hart family and what they couldn't do, they will do, because they are better than the best, period. Striker said it was news to them, but apparently official, that DX would defend against THD next week on Smackdown.

[Q6] [c]

-Michelle McCool asked Beth backstage if she and Layla rubbed her the wrong way when she came to Smackdown. McCool said they all want to get rid of Piggy James and "that underfed red-head Maria." Layla and McCool laughed about how Maria can't eat anymore because Mickie will eat everything. McCool and Layla laughed about Mickie's manly shape and being big-boned. Phoenix said, "Who would want to see a big girl shut your big mouths in a big way?" McCool and Layla called her sensitive after she walked away. Bratty and funny, because at least the heels are the ones making exaggerated insults at other women. It's up to the announcers to continue to make it clear the claim Mickie is overweight is a ridiculous notion. Striker, as a heel announcer, claimed McCool was "being cordial."

5 -- MARIA vs. BETH PHOENIX

Maria dove at Phoenix at 1:00 off the ropes. Maria surprised Phoenix with a roll-up for a near fall. Maria kicked Phoenix in the face, but Phoenix shoved her to the mat on a head scissors attempt, then gave her the Glam Slam for the win.

WINNER: Phoenix in 2:00. [c]

-A trailer aired for "The Marine II" starring Ted DiBiase.

-The Raw Rebound aired. They showed Dennis Miller clips along with Slammy Award results and match and tournament highlights. Grisham congratulated the award winners and then plugged DX vs. THD. Striker hyped Batista or Rey vs. Undertaker would co-main event.

-Rey Mysterio's ring entrance took place. [c]

-Batista's ring entrance took place.

6 - BATISTA vs. REY MYSTERIO

Not casting judgment on either, because both are on opposite extremes, but Smackdown usually reserves nearly the final half hour for nothing but some routine filler (Raw Rebound, movie trailer) and the main event, including drawn out ring intros, while Impact shoved the main event into the final six or eight minutes of the show, while putting three weeks worth of Smackdown angles into the rest of the final half hour leading up to the main event. It's such opposite booking philosophies and pacing. Batista fended off early Rey offense. Rey snapped Batista's neck over the top rope and then dropkicked him to the floor at 1:00. Rey then springboard dove onto Batista at ringside with a seated senton. Batista caught Rey on the next dive and rammed him into the security wall. They cut to a break at 3:00. [c]

[Q4]

Batista continued to beat on Rey after the break. After sustained methodical offense by Batista, at 10:00 Rey caught Batista with a dropkick. It slowed Batista, but it took a few more moves to drop Batista. A bulldog led to Rey's first cover and a two count. Grisham said there was a big match feel in the arena.. Rey hit a springboard legdrop for another two count at 12:00. Rey caught Batista with a 619 at 13:00, but when he went for a springboard dive, Batista lifted his knees and scored a two count on Rey. Batista wasn't happy when, after a one-armed Bossman slam, Rey grabbed the bottom rope to stop the count. "You're kidding me!" he angrily yelled. Rey avoided a Batista Bomb and then head scissored Batista to ringside. Batista threw a fit and grabbed a chair at ringside. The ref warned him. He slammed the chair to the mat, then speared Rey back in the ring for a believable near fall. The kickout popped the crowd. Batista picked up Rey, but Rey countered his weight and landed on top and small packaged Batista for a surprise three count. Grisham called it a shocker.

WINNER: Rey in 16:00 to earn a World Title shot against Undertaker next week.

STAR RATING: ***1/4 -- Nice match, especially the first few minutes and late few minutes.

QUOTEBOOK

Rey Mysterio to Batista: "You don't have to be six-foot-five, all jacked up with muscle to be a champion."

Matt Striker: "Vince McMahon is rarely wrong, if ever."

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