TV REPORTS 5/12 WWE Raw: Mallory's "virtual time" coverage
May 12, 2003 - 10:06:00 PM
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By Mallory Mahling, Torch Team Contributor
WWE Raw "Virtual Time" Ongoing Review
May 12, 2003
Live from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Aired on TNN
Report by Mallory Mahling, Torch Team Contributor
Ongoing "Virtual Time" Review of Raw
Welcome to ongoing coverage of tonight's Raw. You may need to hit "refresh" from time to time in order to see the latest update.
Quarter Hour 1
Co-photos of the co-general managers greeted tonight's viewers.
Christian was already in the ring, whining about being the curtain jerker, even if it was in a steel cage match with Goldberg. Besides, he had an important photo shoot tomorrow and he wanted to look pretty for the occasion.
Stone Cold headed out (to a huge pop) as Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler welcomed viewers to Raw, live from the First Union Center in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
"Nothing like the feel of a good old steel cage," said Stone Cold wistfully. Then he told Christian that his match was LATER.
Christian said Stone Cold had held up one finger backstage and he thought it meant his would be the first match.
Stone Cold corrected him. He was really giving him the finger.
Christian had a message for his "peeps." He felt someone was harboring resentment.
Stone Cold stopped him and said he was trying very hard not to loose his patience.
"Lose it," chanted the crowd.
Stone Cold said for now he'd retain his composure, but if Christian continued to act like a jackass, he'd reconsider.
Rob Van Dam headed to the ring. Loud "RVD" chant from the Philly crowd.
Van Dam told Austin he was officially entering the Battle Royal.
Christian, seeing an opportunity to weasel out of a tight spot, suggested that RVD take his place in the cage match with Goldberg.
Austin polled the audience, and they wanted to see Christian get his butt kicked by Goldberg.
Kane headed out next and Christian disappeared.
Kane told RVD that come Judgment Day, tag team champs or not, he intended to win the Battle Royal. And no one, including Van Dam, was going to stop him.
Okay, said RVD, but if winning meant throwing Kane over the top rope, he'd find a way to do it.
Stone Cold sensed a little tension, and called for a six pack.
He got Eric Bischoff instead. Bischoff said there would be no beer bash tonight. He reminded Stone Cold that he had promised to "raise the bar" tonight. Apparently raise the bar meant RVD and Kane defending their tag titles against a team they'd never faced before. It would be a team that was one of the best in the history of the industry.
"Ohhhhh what a russsssssshhhhhhhhh." It was the Legion of Doom -- Hawk and Animal.
(Quarter Hour 2)
(1) Tag Team Title Match: Rob Van Dam & Kane over Hawk & Animal, the Road Warriors/Legion of Doom. Decent back and forth action (largely thanks to Van Dam), with J.R. talking about how many decades the challengers had been in the business. Kane chokeslammed Hawk, followed by a Five Star Frog Splash by Van Dam, and RVD and Kane retained the titles.
Victoria and Stevie Richards taunted Trish Stratus backstage.
J.R. and the King recapped the epic battle between Triple H and Kevin Nash last week.
Chris Jericho was in the locker room when Triple H approached him with a history lesson about great moments that had taken place in the First Union Center. A year ago, Nash had torn his quad right in that very ring and Triple H hinted that maybe he'd tear it again tonight . . . with a little help.
A limo pulled up outside and as Goldberg stepped out, he was nearly run over.
(Quarter Hour 3)
Theodore Long tried to talk Stone Cold into having a man of color in contention for the Intercontinental Title. Stone Cold had someone of color in mind, but it wasn't Big Mack. It was Booker T. Long was not pleased, but his music was playing. It was time for the white boy challenge
(2) Double White Boy Challenge Match: Rodney Mack beat the Phoenix Brothers. Long joined J.R. and the King for color commentary (no pun intended). The match was what it was and - surprise - Rodney Mack won it at 3:29.
Jonathan Coachman caught up with Eric Bischoff and wanted to know about the near accident with Goldberg. Bischoff blew him off.
Freddie Blassie, whose book has just been released, was in a backstage hallway. Bischoff blew him off, too.
Rico was standing nearby and wanted to know if Bischoff could do anything to put Three Minute Warning back in the groove.
Bischoff got a twinkle in his eye, and you just knew that Classy Freddie Blassie was going to get a three-minute book promotion.
Stone Cold questioned Goldberg about the accident. Goldberg, who was breathing hard to the point of being annoying, said he hadn't seen anything, but he planned to take it out on Christian anyway.
(Commercial break) (On this Saturday's Confidential, they will take an in-depth look at the death of Miss Elizabeth, including a replay of the 911 call.)
(Quarter Hour 4)
Lillian Garcia was in the ring and she introduced Hall of Famer, Classy Freddie Blassie and Mrs. Blassie, whose book, "Listen, You Pencil Necked Geeks," goes on sale tomorrow.
Bischoff welcomed Blassie and said he had about three minutes or so. This was sick, since Blassie was confined to a wheelchair. Bischoff wheeled Blassie to the ring, where TMW awaited him. "He's all yours," said Bischoff to the big bullies.
Stone Cold came to the rescue. He said Bischoff had not discussed this segment with him and he wheeled Blassie out of harm's way. Then Austin said he'd reinstated a few of the guys Bischoff had suspended, namely, them damn Dudleys.
(3) Bubba & D-Von Dudley over Three Minute Warning. A Bubba Bomb on Rico and the carnage continued. Then it was time for the What's Up. The crowd was shouting for tables, but Stone Cold stopped the action. He said Blassie had something to say, which was "D-Von get the tables." The splinters were flying everywhere, and the Dudleys were back on Raw. To celebrate, Stone Cold brought out the icy cold beverages.
Backstage, Christian was headed to the ring with a steel chair.
Stone Cold ran into Ric Flair backstage. Flair told Austin he was proud of him and his new position with the company. Flair started to put over Triple H, but Hurricane swooped in and said Kevin Nash would change Triple H's name to Triple Beee-atch at Judgment Day. Flair was furious and started to shout at Hurricane. Austin said if they wanted to fight, they could settle it. Right here. Right now.
"Ding, ding," said Stone Cold to start the match.
(4) Ric Flair over Hurricane via submission. It started backstage, but finally made its way to the ring. The highlight had to be the surprise appearance of Ric Flair's behind, crack and all. Hurricane chokeslammed Flair, then strutted. A shining wizard by Hurricane, who got a near fall. Back and forth they went.
(Quarter Hour 6)
Hurricane's ankle seemed injured, and Flair tried his best to make it worse. Flair locked on the Figure Four, and Hurricane Hurri-tapped.
Triple H came out to congratulate Flair . . . and to give Hurricane a Pedigree.
As the entrances were made for the next match, J.R. said Test and Goldust would be in the Battle Royal at Judgment Day.
(5) Six-Man Tag Match: Scott Steiner & Test (w/Stacy Keibler) & Goldust over Christopher Nowinski & La Resistance. After some trash talking in French, the match got underway. This was a better than expected match, with the New Kids on the Block giving as good as they got.
(Quarter Hour 7)
Steiner pinned Nowinski to capture the win for his team.
Stevie Richards, with a wild look in his eyes, egged Victoria on as she got ready for her match with Trish.
J.R. introduced Tazz and Michael Cole who were at the WWE studios in Stamford, Connecticut. They hyped this week's live Smackdown. (Would it be splitting hairs to wonder why one brand would bother to advertise the other?)
Terri asked Chris Jericho if he knew who'd tried to run down Goldberg earlier in the show. He ignored the question and talked about himself instead.
(6) Hardcore Match: Trish Stratus over Victoria (w/Steven Richards). J.R. reminded viewers that Trish would host Slammin' Saturday Night on TNN this Saturday. Suddenly, Tommy Dreamer headed out with a Kendo stick to keep an eye on Stevie.
(Quarter Hour 8)
There was an assortment of plunder at ringside. The weapon of choice seemed to be a silver serving platter, and Victoria went for a cover. Trish kicked out, then kicked a silver tray into Victoria's face. Victoria got a leather strap and tried to choke Trish with it.
The Kendo sticks came into play, both inside and outside the ring. A Stratusfaction and a cover and Trish took the win. She and Dreamer left the ring hand in hand.
Kevin Nash was headed to the ring for his upcoming match.
(7) Main Event: Kevin Nash beat Chris Jericho. Nash spent most of the match clubbering (to borrow a Dusty-ism) Jericho. Y2J finally got Big Sexy off his feet, and the tide turned.
(Quarter Hour 9)
Jericho focused on Nash's knees. A lionsault and a cover, and Jericho nearly had the win. Y2J stoped to argue with the ref, which gave Nash an opportunity to go for the kill. Except . . .
Triple H and Ric Flair (still with his drawers hanging out) came out to attack Nash. But Shawn Michaels came out to even the odds for Nash.
Nash jacknife powerbombed Jericho, and Michaels' counted the 1-2-3 to give Nash the win.
Nash, with a big sneer on his face, went after Triple H and destroyed him with a power bomb, Diesel-style. Michaels counted the 1-2-3 on Triple H, too.
Nash and Michaels shared a tender hug in the ring as J.R. hyped Judgment Day.
But, but . . . who tried to run over Goldberg? One of life's little loose ends?
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