WWE - ECW on SyFy TV Report
December 15, 2009 - Year 4, Week 28 (Week 184 overall)
Taped in Laredo, Tex.
By James Caldwell, Torch assistant editor

The WWE show started with a video package on special guest Kane, who was billed as the former ECW champion. They cut to a special message from Kane, who cackled and laughed as he said he's back. ... ECW tonight: Abraham Washington welcomes Diva of the Year, Maria.

In-ring: ECW GM Tiffany was in the ring to plug the TLC PPV, including the one match she is particularly proud of. She welcomed out Shelton Benjamin first. Shelton came out over-selling a back injury from the ladder match. Normally, I'm all for selling the effects of a big PPV match, but he was just fine on Raw playing dress up in the DX Army gear. A bit ridiculous to see him over-selling one night after looking fine on Raw. ECW champ Christian then came out sporting a big shiner around his right eye from the ladder blow during the match.

With everyone assembled in the ring, Christian and Shelton shook hands. Tiffany then credited them for representing ECW very well. She told them thank you. Shelton smiled, then took the mic. He thanked her, then thanked the people for inspiring them to take the risks that make ECW what it is today. Some polite applause. Shelton said he has to be honest that Sunday was one of the most proud moments of his career. But, with that in mind, he did fall short of his goal, so he's not going to waste any time asking for a re-match. Christian didn't react, then Tiffany took the mic and told Shelton he can get that opportunity...

William Regal's music interrupted and Sir William came out on stage with Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson. Regal said he's tired of this poppycock. Yeah, tell 'em, Regal. He then mocked Tiffany's voice: "You sound like a goose blowing a kazoo." Regal said there is a big issue to deal with tonight: Kane. Tiffany said she was about to explain everything. Regal interrupted again and said Kane is a monster and a menace. He knows she's new on the show, but "Have you gone mental letting him back on this show?" Tiffany finally explained that she will invite several former ECW stars to compete for an ECW Title shot. It's called the ECW Homecoming. The winner receives a title shot against Christian at the Royal Rumble. She added the competition begins tonight with two matches: Zack Ryder vs. Kane and ... Kozlov vs. Ezekiel Jackson. Kozlov had an awesome facial reaction going from a wry smile (after his name was announced) to a frown (after Jackson's name was announced). Jackson liked the sound of that. Shelton laughed. Regal tried to settle his two big men down.

Backstage: "The Ripper" Paul Burchill was shown walking down the hallway. He was flanked by sister Katie Lea, who was sporting a mask typically worn at a masquerade ball. Or in that one Lindsey Lohan movie. Ripper and Hurricane up next.

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: The Hurricane was already in the ring back from break. Also in the ring was Savannah, who is handling ring intros tonight. Some new music hit and out came The Ripper with The Beautiful Nightmare. Ripper Burchill looking to win a spot back on the ECW roster.

[Q2]

1 -- THE HURRICANE vs. THE RIPPER PAUL BURCHILL (w/The Beautiful Nightmare Katie Lea)

Instant thumbs up for the match with Josh Mathews referencing "The Office." Context was Hurricane is Jim trying to eliminate Ripper, who would be Dwight Schrute. The match was controlled by Ripper early on as Katie continued to hold her mask and shout encouragement from ringside. Burchill tried to charge Hurricane in the corner moments later, but Hurricane responded with a Hurricean Uppercut for a two count. He wanted to follow with the Shining Wizard, but Burchill ducked and hit a neckbreaker for a close two count. Hurricane then came back with a Tornado DDT from the corner. He then tried to unmask Burchill and eh removed the Ripper mask. Burchill, angered and flustered, walked into the Shining Wizard from Hurricane, who made the cover for the win. Post-match: Hurricane held up Burchill's mask triumphantly as Burchill tried to make sense of his bad luck.

WINNER: Hurricane in 5:00. Fine singles match. Not enough time to be on par with their previous matches. Now, Burchill goes back to being in limbo for the time being. (*)

Raw Rebound: Mathews and Byron Saxton took us back to Raw last night to get a look at Dennis Miller hosting the Slammys edition. They aired some of his better one-liners. Clips aired of Maria winning Diva of the Year, Vince McMahon on-camera, Punk retiring Jeff Hardy, Michael Cole going nuts for his award, Triple H announcing HBK vs. Taker from WM26 as MOTY and Michaels's re-challenge (that was heavily focused on), Chris Jericho & Big Show winning Tag Team of the Year before Jericho was booted from Raw, the Superstar of the Year tournament with heavy focus on John Cena, and a brief look at Sheamus holding up the WWE Title in Cena's face to close Raw.

Up next: Diva Maria on the Abraham Washington Show.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Burchill and Tiffany were shown walking down the hallway. Burchill dejectedly took off his workout gloves, then Gregory Helms walked up to him and asked how things worked out for him. Burchill just screamed "Gaaaaaaaah" and he stormed off. Helms casually asked, "What's up with that?" They went to a longshot as Helms walked off while apparently wearing a dress or shiny pants underneath his suit.

[Q3]

On-stage: Tony Atlas brought out Abraham Washington for the Show. Washington thanked everyone for coming out tonight. "Applause" flashed on the screen and the fans booed. He then asked someone to call 911 because he was robbed last night on Raw because he didn't Breakthrough Star of the Year, Superstar of the Year, and Tag Team of the Year. Abraham said he could have won that all by himself. Atlas kicked in: "You should have won Diva of the Year."

Washington didn't appreciate that, then he brought out Diva of the Year, Maria. Washington said it must have been truly embarrassing last night. Cue up last night when Maria channeled her inner Taylor Swift before Batista interrupted playing Kanye West in a pink shirt. Back to the Show, Abraham had a good chuckle while Maria sold hurt. Maria said as embarrassing as that was, at least she won a Slammy. "You got jokes?" Abraham shot back. Maria laughed and said she's watched his show. "It stinks!" Atlas said from off the stage. Maria then asked Tony if he wanted to hold her Slammy. Tony ran to the couch and had a chance to hold some gold, then Maria teased Abraham a chance to hold the Slammy, but she pulled it away and told Abraham to win something next year. Abraham told Atlas he bets Atlas doesn't even have a job by the end of the year. Washington silenced Maria's giggles saying he voted for Michelle McCool. He added that he wishes Batista would come out and interrupt this segment. He then told Atlas to wrap this up. Apparently the whole point was to get a marginal star from another brand on the TV program and continue to make Washington look like an idiot. Mission accomplished. This was halfway-entertaining, though, with Atlas's random remarks.

Backstage: They showed William Regal pumping up Kozlov for his match against Jackson. Apparently Regal has deserted Jackson.

[Commercial Break. Bod-Man commercial featuring Britney Spears count: I think they've aired this commercial 19 times through three breaks.]

In-ring: Kozlov came out with Regal for the match against Kozlov. The announcers drew attention to Regal choosing sides here. Jackson's music hit and he flashed a big smile coming down to the ring to finally get his hands on Kozlov.

[Q4]

3 -- EZEKIEL JACKSON vs. KOZLOV (w/William Regal) -- ECW Homecoming qualifying match

The bell sounded and they went face-to-face center ring. Jackson pie-faced Kozlov, who answered with a forearm to the blow. Jackson then landed a scoop slam. Meanwhile, Mathews delivered the news: there will be 16 men in the #1 contender tournament and the eight winners will compete in an ECW Homecoming finale in five weeks. They quickly went to the finish where Regal subtly tripped Kozlov from the outside. Jackson then hit his Uranage on Kozlov for the pin and the win. Post-match: Regal smiled and patted Jackson on the back. He smiled, then Jackson started to walk off. Regal went back to get his coat and Kozlov confronted him on the outside. Jackson then blasted Kozlov from behind and Regal ran him into the announce table to KO Kozlov. They aired a replay of the post-match, which Regal and Jackson celebrated on the way out.

WINNER: Jackson in 2:00. Yes, they are apparently trying to turn Kozlov babyface. Or, just switching Jackson back to a heel since he wasn't over as a babyface. You figure it out. (n/a)

Backstage: Caylen Croft and Trent Barreta were playing video games. They pretended to beat DX on the video game, then decided video games mimmick real life. They did a fist pound + explosion combo and walked off, which the announcers laughed at on commentary.

World Hvt. Title DVD plug: They aired the commercal promoting the World Title DVD that came out today. Plenty of clips of Triple H, who knows the history of the title and wants to wear that big gold belt.

[Commercial Break. The Hulk Hogan on TNA Impact commercial aired again. First viewing was better than the second viewing because of the surprise factor.]

In-ring: Barretta and Croft came to the ring at a combined weight of 420 pounds. Already in the ring were Julio Cruz and Jorge Arias. WWE threw out a quick plug for Chris Jericho on Jimmy Fallon's NBC talk show on Thursday. Greg Parks checks in on B&C's theme music: "As much as I was a fan of Atlas tonight, I'm equally disgusted that they got rid of Croft and Baretta's awesome theme song, replacing it with a generic one!"

4 -- TRENT BARRETA & CAYLEN CROFT vs. JULIO CRUZ & JORGE ARIAS

Mathews sarcastically congratulated B&C on their victory over the Unified tag champs playing video games. B&C methodically worked over their opponents as the crowd seemed completely disinterested in the action. B&C then finished the match with a double-team Hangman's neckbreaker for the pin and the win. Post-match: Barreta stole the mic from Savannah and did the announcement: "Your winners, next year's Slammy-Award winning tag team of the year, Trent Barreta and Caylen Croft."

WINNERS: Barreta & Croft in 2:00. Squash match to continue getting them on TV. Their gimmick is for the kids, which may or may not catch on. Stay tuned. When WWE puts them in an actual tag match after establishing them in squash matches, a proper evaluation can be made. (n/a)

Backstage: Goldust was talking to Yoshi Tatsu in the hallway trying to explain his jokes on Raw last night. Kane then barged in and Yoshi stood back and cut a promo staring at his nipples. Kane asked for a translation. Goldust stammered, then said something with the turrets kicking in. "And they say I'm a freak," Kane said. He walked off. Main event next.

[Commercial Break]

[Q5 -- over-run]

In-ring: After a "Tribute to the Troops" spot aired at the top of the hour, Kane came to the ring for the main event. It's been a packed show. After Kane came out for the ECW Homecoming qualifier, Zack Ryder walked out with Rosa Mendes. Ryder had his confident face on to try to intimidate Kane. Next week: Jack Swagger returns to ECW to face Yoshi Tatsu in a Homecoming match. Sweet. Jack Swagger on TV.

5 -- KANE vs. ZACK RYDER (w/Rosa Mendes) -- ECW Homecoming qualifying match

Ryder tried to be aggressive early on, but Kane blasted him with right hand uppercuts. Ryder blocked Kane in the corner with a boot, but Kane caught him in mid-air for a powerslam off the second rope. Kane missed with an elbow drop, though, and Ryder went to work on Kane with matholds. Ryder then avoided a chokeslam before punting Kane in the back of the leg to begin taking apart the left knee and hamstring. Rosa shouted encouragement from ringside as Ryder tried to force a submission. Ryder surprisingly in control as the announcers sold speculation that perhaps Kane under-estimated Ryder going into the match. Kane made a comeback at 4:00, but Ryder went back to the left knee. Ryder then hit a Rocker Dropper for a two count. He tried to follow with the Rough Rider, but Kane slipped out and grabbed Ryder around the throat to deliver a chokeslam for the pin and the win. Post-match: Kane shot the pyro in the ring as the announcers talked up Kane qualifying for the Homecoming in January.

WINNER: Kane in 5:00. Decent little TV match with Ryder having a good amount of offense. Of course, Ryder in control throughout the match telegraphed the finish of Kane eventually winning. Based on how this is going, the ECW Homecoming is going to feature every big man on the roster. I suppose we can look forward to Mark Henry and Big Show joining and perhaps cameos from Viscera and Boogeyman. (*1/2)

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