KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT
DECEMBER 7, 2009
DALLAS, TEX.
AIRED LIVE ON USA NETWORK

[Q1]

-Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler introduced the show and hyped The Miz vs. Mark Henry and Chris Jericho vs. DX. Justin Roberts introduced Mark Cuban.

-Cuban walked into the ring from the crowd and said he's incredibly excited to be their guest host for Monday Night Raw. He asked for the Dallas Maverick fans to cheer. He said he gets crazy at courtside at Mavs games, but they haven't seen anything yet because he's "large and in charge all night long." He said later in the show he has a verbal showdown scheduled between Sheamus and John Cena. He said they can say whatever they want to each other, no holds barred. He said then threw to the ring intro for John Cena.

1 -- JOHN CENA vs. CARLITO

Roberts introduced Cena as "Gee-awwwwnn-Ceeee-naw." Carlito scored with an early kick to the face. Cena countered with an Attitude Adjustment attempt, but Carlito escaped and hit a dropkick. Lawler noted that Cuban took a seat at ringside next to Shawn Marion, Tim Thomas, and other Mavs. Cena went into his finishing routine at 2:00, which prompted Sheamus to interrupt. He stepped onto the stage as his music played. Cuban got up and walked toward Sheamus. He called for security who blocked Sheamus's path to the ring. Carlito took advantage of the distraction and took control of the match. He went for his Back Stabber, but Cena caught him and dropped him with an Attitude Adjustment for the win. Cena shook hands with Cena afterward, then applauded his win.

WINNER: Cena in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Fine for what it was. A good way to feature Cena in a match, give him a win, and get Sheamus out there on camera as his rival messing with his matches.

-Cole plugged that Cena and Sheamus would go face-to-face later in a verbal battle. [c]

[Q2]

-A commercial hyped Dennis Miller as guest host next week for a special three-hour Raw which includes the Slammy Awards.

-Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, and Ted DiBiase walked to the ring as Orton's music played. Orton told Cuban he respects that he is exerting some authority. He said he has no doubt that Sheamus and Cena will tear each other apart at TLC. He also said he doesn't doubt that their showdown tonight will end in complete chaos. He told him he will lift the ban on him getting title shots against Cena. Cuban shook his head no. He looked like he was having the time of his life being the center of attention like this. DiBiase said he knows that rich people have pride, but that doesn't mean they have to be stupid. They showed Orton giving Cuban an RKO at Survivor Series 2003. "Orton a viper even then," said Cole.

Cuban said he thought it might go down this way, so he's not going to fight the winner of the tables match at TLC. Orton threw a brief fit. He said he got lucky last week against Kofi Kingston on Raw, and the only reason he won was because WWE refs "are worse than NBA refs." He said they didn't have the guts to stop the match when "The Legends" jumped in and attacked. He said he respects that Orton is a competitor and has something set up just for him tonight. He said he'll fight Kofi in a rematch tonight, but he will be the referee. He told Orton to deal with it.

Cody said: "You can't talk to us like that. This isn't Kenyon Martin, nor his mother." He told Cuban he is all talk. He asked the players if they want to do something memorable in this arena besides lose in the playoffs. Cody said he knows Cuban is dying to get involved, so why not face him in the ring tonight. He said if he wins, he lifts Orton's ban. Cuban asked him to take it up in June in Dallas after the Mavericks have won the NBA Title. He told them first they have a match. Out came Primo and Evan Bourne. [c]

2 -- CODY RHODES & TED DIBIASE vs. EVAN BOURNE & PRIMO

The match was joined in progress after the break. Bourne scored a near fall on DiBiase after double knees off the top rope. Rhodes broke up the pin. DiBiase came back with Dream Street seconds later for the win.

WINNERS: Rhodes & DiBiase in est. 5:00.

[Q3]

-Justin Roberts said that Rhodes & DiBiase were being ejected from the American Airlines Center by Cuban. Cuban waved good bye to them. Cole said Cuban did his homework before becoming guest host.

-They showed Cole and Lawler at ringside. Cole said it was Oct. 26 when Sheamus, "The Barbaric Irishman," arrived at Raw. He said throughout the night they'll show highlights of the destruction he's caused so far. They went to a video package of Sheamus beating up Jamie Noble. [c]

3 -- MARYSE vs. GAIL KIM

Kelly Kelly was guest ring announcer. Maryse shoved Kim in the head when the bell rang. Kim tackled Maryse. They rolled on the mat. Kim got control early including a brief flurry at ringside. Back in the ring, Maryse kicked Kim off the ropes and used the ropes for a leverage pin.

WINNER: Maryse in 2:00.

-Afterward, Maryse got in the face of guest ring announcer Kelly Kelly. She told her she's the next Divas Champion. She shoved Kelly and told her to say it. Kelly jumped her. Melina ran out and chased Maryse away.

-Cole plugged Orton vs. Kofi with Cuban as special referee. [c]

[Q4]

-They went to Triple H and Shawn Michaels with phony zany smiles pasted on their faces. They plugged the new DX t-shirt, skull cap, wrist bands, Santa hat, scarf, and slippers. Well, they said they're not going to plug those after plugging them. Hilarious! Michaels said he gave Hunter a gift, the new "Smackdown vs. Raw 2010" video game. He said it's set up and they can play it now. Hunter said he's already been playing it all week because he got one "free in the mail also." Michaels, caught giving away something he got for free, stammered. Hunter then presented Michaels his gift for him - a huge giftwrapped box. Hunter said he hopes it fits and he talked to "a really nice Pakstani lady on the phone" who said he'll get years of enjoyment out of it. Out popped Hornswoggle. He displayed a new t-shirt with Michaels, Hunter, and Hornswoggle on it. He made noises. Michaels interpreted, saying he is selling that t-shirt all over including online. Michaels said he says it may be illegal, but he's doing it anyway. Hunter asked how he got all of that from one grunt. Michaels said it's like when Hans Solo knew what Chewbacca was saying. Hunter and Michaels then pulled out a script and complained. "Who wrote this?" said Hunter. They panned over a guilty looking guy with headsets. Then Hornswoggle jumped off the top of the Christmas tree onto them. He crotch chopped them. Hunter called Hornswoggle, "The gift that keeps on giving."

-They went to the obligatory ringside shot of Lawler and Cole smiling and laughing. Cole announced that they reached an agreement with Sky Sports to carry Raw in the UK for another five years making it 25 years and counting. Lawler read a statement from a Sky Sports exec. Cole then threw to another video package on Sheamus, this time Sheamus's confrontation with Lawler.

-They showed Kofi warming up backstage. [c]

4 -- KOFI KINGSTON vs. RANDY ORTON

Roberts introduced Mark Cuban who was standing in the ring in a referee shirt. Kofi took early control including a dive through the ropes onto Orton at ringside. He threw Orton back into the ring, where Orton caught Kofi with a hard clotethesline. They entered the second hour of the show with Orton stomping on Kofi's chest.


QUOTEBOOK

Jerry Lawler to Michael Cole: "Did you get my text about Kelly Kelly. It said, "OMG IS SHE HOT."

Cole in response: "You text?"

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