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PARKS' WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 11/27: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of the show, including Batista vs. Kane

Nov 27, 2009 - 9:00:13 PM
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by Greg Parks, PWTorch.com Contributor

WWE Smackdown review
November 27, 2009
Taped 11/24/09 in Bridgeport, Conn.
Aired on MyNetwork TV



-WWE Open.

-Stills aired of the Triple-Threat match at Survivor Series, including some archival footage of Undertaker’s history at the PPV.

-Smackdown Open.

-Todd Grisham opened the show by promising that we’d find out who will face Undertaker at TLC, as Kane matches up against Batista tonight with the winner advancing to said PPV.

-Chris Jericho came out solo. Jericho said he knew the fans were waiting for the upcoming PPV, where he and Big Show would face DX in a TLC match. Jericho stated that after December 13th, he’ll never have to deal with DX again. He claimed the TLC match was the most dangerous in WWE history. What about the Royal Rumble? Or the Elimination Chamber? Jericho touted his record in past TLC matches. He went on to call DX “losers.” That’s gonna sting. He once again played the “no respect” card and ranted about not being in the number one contender’s match tonight. Long came out for the retort and gave Jericho a match- Jericho prematurely thanked Long, but Teddy put him in another one-on-one match (non-title) with the Undertaker for later on this evening.

[Commercial Break]

-Grisham and Matt Striker talked up Taker vs. Jericho for tonight.

1- CRYME TYME vs. THE HART DYNASTY8:15:27

You have GOT to be kidding me. They could put out a three-disc DVD of the televised matches between these two teams at this point. And that would be only the last six months. Tyson Kidd got the best of JTG, allowing David Hart Smith to tag in and hit a back-breaker. Kidd back in for a near-fall. Rear chin-lock, then Kidd again tagged in to up the action quotient. Striker continued to complain about the “questionable footwear” of JTG. Both legal men made tags and Shad came in and hit a second-rope shoulder tackle. A pin was broken up by Kidd. Smith, from behind, landed a Saito suplex on Gaspard to get the win.

WINNERS: Hart Dynasty, at 4:32. And again, nothing accomplished in this feud.

-Close-up on the Bragging Rights trophy, zoom out to reveal they were in Teddy Long’s office, with John Morrison also there. The two talked about Morrison’s Survivor Series exploits when Vickie Guerrero and Eric Escobar walked in. Vickie reminded Teddy she needs to be consulted on decisions like who the number one contender for the World Title is. She nominated Escobar to be Morrison’s opponent tonight, but Long said he didn’t deserve a title shot. Guerrero threatened to call Mr. McMahon, so Long backed down. He did say, though, that it would be Escobar’s only title shot. Then Vickie and Eric made out for some cheap heat.

-C.M. Punk was walking backstage with a small, brown-paper bag. He’s out next.

[Commercial Break]

-C.M. Punk came to the ring and was with….someone. And that paper bag. The dude had camo pants on and a stocking cap. Punk reminded everyone about his intervention last week. He said one person he has been working with is Luke Gallows. Gallows raised his arm. Punk said he might look familiar, and he should: It’s the man formerly known as Festus. He revealed that Gallows was hooked on pain pills. Punk said Gallows’ friends and family enabled him. He said he helped him, like he offered to help everyone else. He said he would continue to reach out to help those who can’t help themselves. Punk raised the bag and said on December 1st, a dangerous new drug hits the streets- it’s going to be socially accepted and widely available. Punk said it’s more harmful than chain-smoking an entire carton of unfiltered cigarettes, or drinking a lot of alcohol. He opened the bag and took out the Jeff Hardy DVD. Punk called the title “My Life, My Rules” appropriate for that loser. Punk said Jeff didn’t just ruin his life, but he ruined the lives of all his fans (as the crowd chanted “Hardy”). He said everyone looked up to Hardy like he was a prophet. Punk said the last chapter of the DVD is the one you need to watch- the cage match between himself and Hardy, where he ended Jeff’s career in WWE forever. When Punk was talking, Matt Hardy interrupted. Tony Chimel announced him as if he’s having a match coming up. And I guess they do.

Hardy called Punk a “cult leader” and said Jeff is a free-spirit who, yes, has his flaws. But Punk has flaws too. Matt said Jeff wouldn’t follow Punk’s “nonsense” which is why Punk demonized him. Punk objected to Matt’s assertion that he knows nothing about Jeff. Punk said if Jeff found the Straight Edge inside himself, he’d find a better future. Matt noted that if Punk stopped worrying about everyone else, maybe he wouldn’t be a FORMER Straight Edge World Champion. I’d read about WWE possibly having Punk “cure” Festus several months ago, but it didn’t dawn on me that it was him. I’m sure he’ll interfere in this match, but the follow-up weeks as far as his relationship with Punk should be interesting.

2- C.M. PUNK vs. MATT HARDY

They went to break seconds after the match started.

[Commercial Break]

Punk was working on Matt’s arm out of break. Hardy missed a shoulder charge in the corner, hitting his shoulder on the ring-post. But Hardy caught Punk coming off the top with a Side Effect for two. Matt peppered Punk with some right hands in the middle of the ring. Bulldog by Hardy out of the corner. To the middle rope, legdrop for Hardy. Instead of capitalizing, he waited for Punk to get to his feet to hit him with the Twist of Fate. Gallows got on the apron and reached into the ring, bending Matt back over the top rope for the DQ.

WINNER: Hardy, via DQ, at 5:42. More of a way to “audition” Gallows.

Gallows continued the attack after the match, and held Matt for Punk to hit a spin kick in the gut of Hardy. Running knee to the face in the corner by Punk as Gallows held Matt. Punk laid in the elbows to the chest of Matt. Wade is going to be disappointed- no more “Biscuits and Gravy.” Galloway with what could be called a reverse full-nelson, then he picked Matt up and slammed him back-first into the mat. Kind of impressive. They didn’t have Gallows talk in this segment, so I’m sure they’re saving that for down the line.

-They plugged Taker vs. Jericho for later tonight. Smart to keep mentioning this match instead of Batista vs. Kane.

[Commercial Break]

-Grisham talked about WWE.com, and which superstars were voted “biggest Turkey” on the site.

-John Morrison defends his I.C. Title against Eric Escobar tonight.

-Morrison and Striker talked on-camera about the feud between Mickie and Michelle that has developed on Smackdown. And they replayed the “oinky” segment from last week.

-Josh Mathews was backstage with Mickie James. Josh asked her how she was feeling. Mickie said it doesn’t matter what hurtful things they say about her, she’s not going anywhere. She said she hoped Layla and McCool recognized that she worked hard to get where she was.

-They plugged Kane vs. Batista for later on.

[Commercial Break]

3- BATISTA vs. KANE- #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH

How low can we go? Striker mentioned that the black glove Kane wears was the only thing left in the rubble when his house burned down as a child (by Taker, of course). Ah Striker, the master of ret-con. Or was that in Kane’s book? After a short standoff, the fight went to the outside, where Kane’s head was bounced off the padded railing. Back in the ring, low dropkick for two by Kane. Kane with some right hands on the Animal in the corner, but Big Dave came back with a rake of the face. Shoulders in the gut by Batista. Rear chin-lock, but Batista was backed into the corner by his opponent. Back elbow by Batista for two, then another rest-hold. Kane got to his feet and grabbed Batista by the throat, but Batista grabbed the ropes for a break. Kicks to the knee of Kane, and he tried a Batista Bomb. Kane back-dropped him and Kane seemed to want a powerbomb. Batista went back to work on the leg of Kane in the corner. He was down as Batista recuperated on his feet. They went to break about 5:00 into the match.

[Commercial Break]

Batista was still working on the leg as we got a few replays of what happened during the break, mostly leg-related. Well, when one guy is on the mat almost the entire time, it’s a lot harder for this match to completely suck. Uh-oh, Batista brought Kane to his feet and the two traded soupbones. Kane, still holding his leg, got a clothesline in the corner. He got a foot up on a Batista charge and it found a place in Dave’s mush for two. Kane, to the top, but he missed a clothesline and came down hard on his injured leg. Spear by Batista, right into a cover, but only for two. Kane BARELY got Batista up for a sidewalk slam. Again, he went to the top. This time, he connected on the clothesline. He set up for the vaunted chokeslam, but Batista turned around and saw it. Kane charged the corner, but Batista dropped him face-first over the top buckle. He took out Kane’s leg again and got himself pumped up. Batista Bomb, no, Kane went after the knee of Batista. Chokeslam city, but Batista got his foot on the rope to break up the pin. He even had trouble doing that cleanly. Batista rolled out of the ring, but Kane followed, not allowing a break. Kane whipped Batista into the barricade, and Batista flipped into the timekeeper’s bay in an impressive spot. Batista though, caught Kane in the leg as Kane went after him. Batista got back into the ring at the count of eight, while Kane couldn’t make it back in.

WINNER: Batista, at 14:27. WWE clearly had confidence in these guys to give them nearly 15 minutes, despite what could happen. Still, a much better match than I anticipated, with a relatively good story. But did they really need to protect Kane with a count-out? Or give Batista a weak win as he goes to challenge Taker at TLC?

-The once again promoted the Jericho vs. Taker match to take place tonight.

[Commercial Break]

-Ring announcer Tony Chimel introduced Vickie Guerrero. She did her “excuse me” routine, ramping up the crowd heat a bit. She simply introduced her boyfriend, Eric Escobar.

4- ERIC ESCOBAR vs. JOHN MORRISON- INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Morrison took Escobar to the mat, then to the outside, where Morrison landed his springboard moonsault (though Escobar had to wait around a little too long to catch him). Vickie grabbed Morrison as he went back in, allowing Escobar to come back outside and ram Morrison’s back into the apron. Bearhug back in the ring by Escobar. Side suplex for two. Morrison caught Escobar with a heel kick coming off the ropes. Batista-like shoulders into the gut of Morrison by Escobar. Flying Chuck kick connected and Morrison set up for the Starship Pain. It landed and garnered him the win.

WINNER: Morrison, at 3:19. I still think Escobar has something to offer, though he appeared to have trouble keeping up with Morrison here at times.

Vickie appeared upset in the ring as Escobar tried to recover. She screamed at him about squandering his opportunities week after week. Wow, that voice is grating. She slapped Escobar in anger of him embarrassing her. Then she walked off. They really cut Escobar’s balls off here.

-Tonight: Jericho faces Undertaker in a non-title match.

[Commercial Break]

-Vickie was walking backstage, talking to herself, when Escobar came up behind her, wanting to talk to her. She yelled at him to get out of her sight. Escobar said she’s the one that makes him sick. Every time he holds her, he has to wash his hands. Every time he hugs her, it makes him want to peel his skin off his own body. And every time he kisses her, he has to use disinfectant. He said it’s not worth it, and they’re done. I think this pair had potential, but WWE just seemed to lose faith in Escobar.

-Striker and Grisham talked about Jesse Ventura appearing on this past week’s Raw. Then we got the Raw Rebound. I like how there was no explanation as to why Vince and Ventura were all of a sudden doing commentary for the battle royal in this video package.

-Batista came to ringside, towel around his neck, presumably to get a close-up of the main event. And in fact, he was joining the commentary team for the match, which is next. Wonder if he’ll actually have anything to say this week.

[Commercial Break]

-Grisham congratulated Batista on his win and thanked him for joining them. Batista looked at Grisham and turned away, saying nothing. More of the silent treatment, I guess. Why did he even put the headsets on?

5- CHRIS JERICHO vs. THE UNDERTAKER

Taker cornered Jericho and worked him over, then Taker went Old School, jumping HIGH off the top rope as he brought his arm down across Jericho. Jericho tried to come back, but Taker shrugged him off and clotheslined him over the top rope. Batista stared coldly at Taker in the ring as they went to break about a minute and-a-half in.

[Commercial Break]

The Smackdown /WWE logo in the bottom corner that usually signals them signing off appeared as they came back from break. Taker continued punishing Jericho, and hit a legdrop with Jericho draped under the bottom rope. Taker continued striking Jericho as Batista got up from the announce table and approached. Before he could get too close, Taker felt his presence, turned around and Batista slowly went back to his seat. As Taker tried to get back in the ring, Jericho dropkicked him off the apron. He threw the Dead Man into the stairs as Striker literally begged Batista for some insight. He did put the headset back on, but said nothing. Jericho continued on offense once the two went back into the ring. Rear chin-lock, and Jericho managed to get a lot of trash talk in while he grounded Taker. High dropkick by Jericho caught Taker as he came off the ropes. That got a two-count. Counter by Taker into a side suplex. Snake Eyes by Taker, then a running boot. Jericho battled out of a chokeslam, and hit with a running bulldog, then a Lionsault. Taker, out of nowhere, with a hand to the throat. Chokeslam was next and he set up for the Tombstone, but Batista interfered with a shot to the knee, drawing the DQ.

WINNER: Undertaker, via DQ, at 11:57.

Jericho got a Codebreaker on Taker. Batista retrieved a chair from ringside and lashed Taker with it several times. No real confirmation that it will be a “Chairs Match,” but Striker did say chairs would be legal in the match. After a replay, of the finish Batista with the chair was your closing image.

Greg Parks has been covering Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. You can also read his frequently updated blog in the VIP forum. Check out his column each week in the PDF-exclusive version of the Torch Newsletter. Also, look for his Tuesday chats with James Caldwell each Tuesday afternoon on the Torch. Comments, questions and feedback are welcome, and can be sent to g_man9784@yahoo.com.


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