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KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT 11/23: Jesse Ventura guest hosts and faces Orton in first segment, plus Kofi vs. Ziggler (hour one)
Nov 23, 2009 - 7:13:21 PM |
By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor
KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT - HOUR ONE
NOVEMBER 23, 2009
HERSHEY, PA.
[Q1]
-After the Raw opening, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler introduced the show. They plugged a main event of John Cena vs. C.M. Punk for the first time ever at the request of Punk. Justin Roberts growled out an introduction to the guest host, Jesse Ventura. Instead, Randy Orton's music played. He entered the ring and said his father told him all about Ventura, which is he considers himself to be a revolutionary, a radical, and someone who speaks his own and breaks his own rules. He said he wanted Ventura to prove that to him personally. He said Ventura has the power to lift the ban on his title shots against Cena. Ventura walked out in wrestling tights, a snake skin jacket, sunglasses, and his hair pulled back into a braid.
"The body is back and, as you can see, I ain't dressed like no governor tonight, I'm dressed like pro wrestling," he said with his classic delivery. He said he's in charge now, so what he says goes. He turned to orton and said he respects him and likes his style. "You remind me of me," he said, adding that he stands for revolution in this country. He said he doesn't belong to the Republicans or Democrats. He said being the Governor of Revolution, he is also the one who will bring something completely new to WWE tonight.
Ventura turned and told Orton he won't get a title shot. He said too many of the same people day in, day out, week after week have gotten the shot at the title. He said it's time to change that. Orton interrupted and asked if Triple H would get a shot. Or Shawn Michaels or Chris Jericho. Ventura ruled them all out. He said there will be a series of matches to earn a title shot and the qualification is none can be former champions. Then the winners will participate in a Breakthrough Battle Royal, and the winner will be the no. 1 contender. This sounds like a TNA Impact episode.
Orton told Ventura he's making a very, very big mistake. Ventura said he's make plenty of mistakes before. "You can't govern and not make mistakes," he said, but then reiterated that what he says goes.
Ventura announced Cena would face Punk. He said they've never wrestled before. He announced DX vs. The Hart Dynasty, adding that they've never faces each other before. He then introduced the first match in the one-night top contender tournament. Kingston walked out to his ring intro as Orton walked toward the back. They exchanged a tense stare as they passed one another. Kingston's intro song still has a Jamaican accent. He should get a new intro song soon that seems less gimmicky and mid-card. [c]
[Q2]
The commercial for Ventura's new series, "Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura," which debuts Dec. 2 at 10 p.m. ET., was very good. He says, "I've been on the inside, and now I'm ready to talk." Hopefully he brings a better work ethic to this show than he did his job as Minnesota Vikings color commentator, where he shunned production meetings, and his MSNBC series. He is super-talented and if he accepts and embraces the hours of preparation work that goes into making this type of series really work, it could be a real success. People love the subjectmatter, but it can't be a patronizing show that avoids admitting that some rudimentary fact checking can prove many popular conspiracies wrong. If it admits some theories hold no water with even a small amount of research and acknowledgment of facts, then theories that are less easily rebutted will make for great TV discussions.
1 -- KOFI KINGSTON vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER -- Qualification Match
Rosters are fully blended tonight with a full-roster edition of Raw. Ziggler dominated pretty much 100 percent of the offense. When he went for his finisher, Kofi blocked it and hit his finishing sequence for the clean win.
WINNER: Kingston in 4:00.
STAR RATING: *
-The Miz said he's thankful for being the only person at Raw who won at Bragging Rights, and the team he was captain of winning at Survivor Series. He's also thankful that he's the greatest U.S. Champion of all time. He then said he actually isn't thankful of all of that because he expects greatness. He said fans should be thankful to have the privilege of watching him. He closed with his catch phrase. [c]
[Q3]
2 -- FINLAY vs. SHEAMUS -- Qualification Match
Finlay went after Sheamus aggressively at the start, then threw him around at ringside, and then back into the ring. As he re-entered the ring, Sheamus caught him with a kick and stomped away at him with boots and knees. He didn't stop until he finished him with his released Razor's Edge for the win. As Sheamus walked away, he stopped, thought, and returned to give Finlay more of a beating.
WINNER: Sheamus in 2:00.
-Cole and Lawler hyped the announced main events.
-A commercial aired for the WWE DVD. It's so awkward for WWE to be in a position to hype Hogan's career relentlessly on their programming as he's about to return to the States and be a centerpiece figure in TNA (assuming he does actually go through with it this time, which it seems he's going to, but he's pulled out before). [c]
-Eric Escobar and Vickie Guerrero sat backstage with Teddy Long for a Thanksgiving dinner. Vickie said she's thankful to have power again. Long looked miserable. She asked him to pass the potatoes. He teased throwing them in her face, but Escobar intercepted it and fed her some mashed potatoes on his finger.
-A commercial for Ventura's new show aired again.
-Orton approached Ventura backstage. He told Jesse that he's the victim of a conspiracy as they don't want him to be champion. Ventura seemed to sympathize with him, but he said he set the rules tonight and can't make special exceptions for him. He said he's all about revolution, and that means new, not old. He said he likes that he retires old guys who ought to be retired. Orton didn't like what he heard, but didn't protest any further.
-Punk made his full ring intro and talked about what he is thankful for. He said he wouldn't want to be any of the fans. He explained to the Raw audience what he is about - no recreational drugs, no alcohol, no prescription pills. He said he basically doesn't abuse his body. He then talked about a typical Thanksgiving dinner. He said even after they're all full, they'll still have desert because they're all "fat and gluttonous and not as strong" as he is. He turned to addressing his match later against Cena. Maybe it's in part the new scruffy beard, but he really seems to be aging quickly during his WWE run. His face during close-ups doesn't look like that of someone taking great care of himself, which runs a bit against his gimmick. Of course, this whole Straight Edge sanctimonious gimmick is leading toward a major moment of hypocrisy being exposed and then a huge breakdown, "proving" that people who claim to live a "straight edge" type of lifestyle are hypocrites and living that way is pretty much impossible. Then, later, he'll repent and turn babyface only when he admits that nobody, including himself, can be pure and clean.
3 -- JOHN CENA vs. C.M. PUNK
Interesting they're setting this up to begin nearly ten minutes before the end of the first hour, which is always really low rated relative to the typical two hours Raw airs. You'd expect the match to start at the start of hour two, not ten minutes before, as a lot of people won't see this because they forgot to tune in early. Punk threw his t-shirt at Cena. Cena looked at it, held it up, the crowd booed, and then he threw it down. He took off his new orange "Never Give Up" shirt and threw it to the crowd. He's also got orange wrist-bands and armband. Cole and Lawler ripped on Punk for thinking he's better than everyone else. After two minutes of back and forth action, Punk bailed out to the floor. They cut to a break. [c]
Punk had Cena wrapped up on the mat in a figure-four head vice after the break. They showed a replay of Punk snapping Cena's head over the top rope to take control, then hitting a springboard clothesline. Cena made a comeback at 7:00, just as they closed out the first hour of Raw and moved into the second.
QUOTEBOOK
Jesse Ventura: "The body is back and, as you can see, I ain't dressed like no governor tonight, I'm dressed like pro wrestling."
Jesse Ventura: "I believe you probably are a victim of [a conspiracy] because knowing the boss of WWE and how this place operates, there's probably no doubt you're a victim of a conspiracy."
C.M. Punk: "This Thanksgiving you have two choices. You can either be me or go on being your lazy, drug-consuming self."
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