WWE Raw Live Report
November 16, 2009
Live from New York City
Aired live on USA Network
Report by James Caldwell, Torch assistant editor

WWE Raw opened with a shot of the crest for Roddy Piper backstage while bagpipes played. Piper smiled and welcomed us to Piper's Pit. He was sitting next to actor Luis Guzman. Piper said he flew in the Iron Chef...actually, Iron Sheik. Piper said he wanted the Iron Chef. Guzman referenced Hulk Hogan, then Sheik then cut a "jibberish Sheik" promo on Hulk Hogan. Sheik then pulled out an Iron Sheik action figure and stomped on a Hogan action figure. Sheik with a payday to cut a promo on TNA's Hogan...using an action figure. Wonderful. Bella Twins joined in the background, then all of them did "Live from New York, it's Monday Night Raw."

Cue up the new Raw theme music from Nickelback with a hint of the old-school original WWF Raw theme at the end that brings up images of Yokozuna, Bret Hart, HBK, and Diesel. A little tribute at the end.

In-ring: Justin Roberts announced a U.S. Title match to start the show. The Miz then came out through an adjusted ring entrance through the classic walkway facing the hard camera in MSG. Reminds me of Mick Foley vs. Triple H. Once in the ring, Miz cut a promo on the World champ New York Yankees, saying he didn't have to buy his U.S. Title, but he earned it. A "Let's go Yankees" chant interrupted Miz, who said he's going to defeat his opponent tonight. He closed by telling the audience that this (his face) is what a champion looks like. "Because I'm The Miz...and I'm...Awesome." Cue up MVP's music to come out challenging Miz. MVP was sporting a Yankees cap and...look who's back, Sherri Shepherd on the front row.

1 -- U.S. champion THE MIZ vs. MVP -- United States Title match

Miz took it to MVP early on, but MVP made a comeback. Cole suggested the lowly Knicks could use MVP as he set up the ballin' elbow drop for a two count. MVP wanted the Playmaker, but Miz escaped and shot MVP off to the corner to land a kick to the gut. Miz then dropped MVP on his face with the Skullcrushing Finale for the pin and the win. Ringside, Sherri wasn't pleased with her sitcom...er...man losing the match.

WINNER: Miz at 3:46 to retain the U.S. Title. Hot crowd tonight gave this match a boost. There's definitely a different vibe in the arena to create energy this show desperately needs. MVP got in his signature spots to retain some credibility despite the loss. Good showing for MVP at the top of the show. (*1/4)

Announcers: Michael Cole plugged Melina vs. Alicia Fox for the Divas Title up later tonight.

[Commercial Break]

[Q2]

Video package: They recapped Ricky Hatton KO'ing Chavo Guerrero on last week's Raw. Ali finally avenges Inoki! Or not.

In-ring: Chavo Guerrero was already in the ring for something. Cue up Santino Marella's theme music. He walked out sporting a N.Y. Rangers hockey jersey to continue the theme of cheap heat. Santino looked super fat. We found out why...

2 -- SANTINO MARELLA vs. CHAVO GUERRERO

Bell sounded and Santino told Chavo to hold on. He pulled out a #10 Eli Manning jersey for the Giants. This was followed by a #34 Patrick Ewing jersey. Wait, next was a Mark Sanchez Jets jersey. Cole played the heel pointing out how poorly the New York teams have been. Santino then pulled out a Johan Santana jersey from the Mets. Suddenly, Santino was in a Phillies jersey. Loud boos. Santino pretended to be shocked. He then took off the Phils jersey to finally be wearing a Yankees jersey. Didn't see the number on the back. Chavo had enough and gave Santino a suplex. We got a look that it was Derek Jeter's #2 jersey. I hope this isn't what Jim Ross meant by Yankees in the house tonight. Suddenly, Hornswoggle showed up in DX gear. He distracted Chavo, then Santino rolled up Chavo from behind for a three count. The coyote loses to the roadrunner again.

WINNER: Chavo at 2:50. A parade of jerseys the NFL and MLB will be grateful for. Crowd was hot for the locally-driven match. Thankfully, we got the obligatory Chavo joke match out of the way. (n/a)

Post-match: The DX theme music hit to a loud crowd reaction. The classic MSG entranceway opened up to bring out Shawn Michaels and Triple H. Hunter gave a shout-out to New York City, then Hunter talked sadly that they're not coming out here to play games or sell merchandise. Michaels then pulled out a DX book and plugged it anyways. Hunter then set up Michaels to sell the book in the Border's adjacent to the building. Michaels tossed the book to Sherri in the front row anyways. Hunter then transitioned to the Big Fat Elephant in the room. No, not the Big Show. The one this Sunday. A triple threat match between Shawn Michaels, himself, and the one and only John Cena. That prompted a mix of loud female cheers and male boos. Hunter said DX will not implode like Cena suggested. Hunter said they will be like a unit combined like this (he mixed his fingers together to demonstrate). Michaels then asked if he really meant they would be a unit. "Yeah, but in a good way," Hunter said, being Hunter. Michaels said you cannot tear DX apart, so now that that item is done with, they want to address Hornswoggle.

Hunter said Hornswoggle has refused to listen to logic. He said Horny hasn't even paid for the merchandise. Hunter said this is America where even little people can live their dream of being a member of DX. Hunter and Michaels told Hornswoggle to come on out. Horny then popped out from under the ring and skipped into the ring doing crotch chops with glowsticks while running around the ring like a kid on a stick pony. Chavo and Pepe flashback.

[Q3] Hunter told Hornswoggle to get in line for the official DX ring intro. Hunter inserted a nice promo on Hornswoggle...but then kicked him in the gut and set up the Pedigree. Crowd wasn't too pleased as Hunter teased it, Michaels encouraged it, then Hunter dropped Hornswoggle center ring. Hunter smiled, then Michaels took the mic and said, "If you're not down with that..." Crowd finished. Hunter just shrugged his shoulders looking self-satisfied with himself. DX then pulled out a DX-spray-painted gurney and slid it into the ring. They sarcastically put Hornswoggle on the gurney and carried him out of the ring to the back. And the point of this to sell the PPV was.....? Pretty much a waste of time segment. PYB (3) talk time: 7:35.

[Commercial Break]

Recap: Cole and Lawler recapped DX taking out Hornswoggle in the previous segment. Another shot of Hunter with a self-satisfied smirk. They plugged Jay-Z's new album before playing an audio clip of Jay-Z and Alicia Keys's duet. On-camera, Cole and Lawler talked about the mystique of MSG. Cole then introduced a video package on WWE and MSG. Well, this is interesting considering the recent rough relationship between WWE and MSG, with WWE now trying to take ownership on the building for wrestling after TNA took over with Hulk Hogan a few weeks ago.

MSG video: Hulk Hogan dropping the leg to begin Hulkamania. Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon in the ladder match at WM10. Steve Austin on Vince McMahon. Bret Hart. Jimmy Snuka off the top of the cage. Hogan and Savage. Bret Hart again. Ultimate Warrior winning the IC Title. Cyndi Lauper and Ali at WrestleMania I. Triple H making the return in the jean jacket. John Cena's surprise return to the 2008 Royal Rumble. Kane taking off the mask. Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero at WrestleMania 20. Owen Hart. Roddy Piper. Mick Foley as Cactus Jack. John Cena with the FU on Big Show in the opener of WM20. Steve Austin giving Brock Lesnar and Goldberg the Stunners at WM20. Ric Flair old-school. Vince McMahon's plaque. No shot of Benoit winning the World Title in the main event of WM20. Incomplete look without that moment. Of course, Hunter and HBK were on the losing end of that one.

Backstage: Roddy Piper was doing his thing, then Chris Jericho barged in to re-live WrestleMania 25. Actually, no references. Apparently it's ancient history. Jericho said Piper needs a portrait of Jericho on the wall after all of these previous guest hosts have disrespected him. Piper blew his nose mid-sentence, then he brought in Chris Masters. Piper asked for some music, prompting Masters to bounce his pecs to the beat of a Black Eyed Peas song. WWE has discovered Masters's only talent, apparently. Bella Twins then showed up and were impressed. Jericho was grossed out. Piper blew his nose, then wiped his hand on Jericho's bare chest to leave Jericho with egg on his face.

Ringside: Black Eyed Peas were shown ringside dropping elbows. ...Backstage: Melina and Alicia Fox were shown on a split-screen. Divas Title match up next.

[Commercial Break]

[Q4]

Did You Know: WWE is claiming their international tour went in front of 170,000 people across the 22 total events.

In-ring: Justin Roberts did an ironic, super-sports-hype for the pudgy, out-of-shape, nerdy-looking Judah Friedlander from 30 Rock, who was the guest ring announcer for the Divas Title match. Divas champion Melina came out first as the announcers plugged the Divas match at Survivor Series. Alicia Fox then came out to challenge for the title. Before the match started, Judah gave us a new announcement that it's a Lumberjill match. "Yeah!" he shouted excitedly.

3 -- Divas champion MELINA vs. ALICIA FOX -- Divas Title match

On cue, Alicia found herself on the outside trying to intimidate the babyface lumberjacks, then she returned to the ring and Melina worked her over before landing her Canadian Destroyer-esque finisher for the quick pin and the win. Post-match: a fight broke out among all the divas present to set up the Five-on-Five match at Survivor Series. Babyface divas stood tall and then danced to close out the segment, much to Judah's delight.

WINNER: Melina at 1:38 to retain the Divas Title. A short match happened. And they danced. Not a memorable display of women's wrestling tonight. (n/a)

Video package: They went back to Undertaker's WWE debut at the 1990 Survivor Series. Just a close-up of Taker walking down the aisle without the obligatory shots of Brother Love and Ted DiBiase. Fast-forward to 2009 or Taker vs. Show vs. Jericho for the World Title.

[Commercial Break. For the local Houston Smackdown TV taping next month, they're plugging appearances by Punk, Jericho, and Rey Mysterio.]

Announcers: Cole and Lawler talked on-camera about WWE and USA Network renewing their TV deal to keep WWE on the air through 2014.

In-ring: Just before the top of the hour, Justin Roberts brought out Roddy Piper. Cole listed his credentials appearing at 13 WrestleManias including the first one against Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. Cole talked briefly about Piper's history at MSG before Piper took the mic.

[Q5 -- second hour]

Piper said it's nice to walk out to MSG and get a standing ovation. He turned to the cameraman in the ring and said he'll kick him if he gets too close again. Piper said he's a New York orphan child. And he's had some embarrassing moments in this ring. He said he embarrassed Cyndi Lauper, but she also embarrassed herself. Piper name-dropped Captain Lou Albano, Bruno Sammartino, Andre the Giant, and Hulk Hogan (mix of cheers and boos). Piper said if you mess with Hot Rod, you're either going to be bald or dead. "Yeah, I went there," he said. Piper said he's the reason Hulk Hogan has no hair. Pause. Pause. Piper said he's done some unspeakable things in New York...and he loved every one of them. Pause. Pause. Piper then called out Vince McMahon for one more match. He went back to the HBO show where Piper talked about McMahon, who fired him right after that. Piper said he knows McMahon is back there, so he called him out.

Cue up Vince McMahon's music and out came McMahon in a Mob-style pinstripe suit. Cole talked up the McMahon Family "building MSG" with "four generations of the McMahon Family" bringing WWE to MSG. Once McMahon hit the ring, Piper leaned against the ropes. McMahon complemented him on the dye job. Quick "What?!" that McMahon paused to hate on. McMahon then started a promo on Piper, saying Mother Nature hasn't been too kind to him. McMahon said Piper still has that frail, weak body and that "catcher's mitt" face. The only thing that hasn't dried up or withered away is Piper's kilt. McMahon said if he were to soil his hands with Piper, his forefathers would be ashamed of him. Piper said there are plenty of reasons for McMahon to be ashamsed of himself. Turned into "how low can you go?" with some mud-slinging. McMahon then cut a promo on the entire locker room and the history of stars "he created" - The Rock, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Taker, and Austin. McMahon emphatically said he looks better than all of them. McMahon said he is officially retired from ring action. Crowd booed.

Piper slowly walked up to McMahon and said he's done playing games. Piper said McMahon is a coward for backing out of a fight. Piper said he's been in 7,000 car crashes and 30 matches. Piper and McMahon looked at each other funny, then Piper tried to correct himself with McMahon pointing out the error. Piper said he's beaten cancer and he can beat McMahon. Round of applause. Piper said McMahon needs to be accountable to the people who made him a billionaire. Piper doesn't want it on PPV or WrestleMania. He wants to see if McMahon has the guts tonight to tell these people he's not a coward. Piper vowed to retire McMahon "for full" tonight. Piper then left the ring, leaving McMahon in the ring. McMahon thought he was off the air, then shouted "Let's hear it one more time..." He was cut off, then the announcers plugged the six-man, three-team tag main event later in the show while laughing at McMahon talking to the live audience with a live mic on the air. PYB (3) talk time: 10:40. So, moral of the story is that McMahon thinks he's the biggest star in the history of the wrestling business.

Raw 3-Hour video plug: They plugged next week's three-hour Raw for the Thanksgiving special with Raw, Smackdown, and ECW guest-hosted by "the governor" Jesse Ventura. They rolled old-school WWE footage of Ventura with the plug for next week.

[Commercial Break]

[Q6]

ECW plug: Hurricane's mask vs. Burchill's ECW career. ... Announcers: Cole and Lawler posed the question of whether McMahon will accept Piper's challenge tonight.

In-ring: Sheamus came to the ring as the announcers recapped Sheamus destroying Jamie Noble two weeks ago. Cole said Noble has "indeed retired" after Sheamus's attack. Back live, Sheamus took the mic and said he's been here for four weeks and has already put one man out of the business. He issued an open challenge to anyone in the back. No one came out, so Sheamus walked over to the timekeeper's table and grabbed Mark Yeaton. Mark sold fear, then Sheamus punched him in the gut. Sheamus followed by sliding Yeaton stomach-first across the announce table. Lawler had a problem with Sheamus and stepped up, but Sheamus dropped him on the floor with a bicycle kick. Good crowd heat with the kids screaming and yelling at Sheamus, who then stomped off to the back as refs and Cole checked on Lawler and Yeaton. "You okay?" one kid asked with the sincerest little voice. "King, can you hear me?" Cole asked. Can't resist the flashback to "Paul, I can't feel my legs!" Lawler was then helped to his feet and he sold an eye injury. "Come back and kick his ass, King," one fan shouted as they cut to break with the scenes telling the story.

[Commercial Break]

Of note: We've had less than ten minutes of in-ring action tonight 83 minutes into the show. Less than seven minutes if you don't count the Lumberjill match. Less than four minutes if you don't count the New York jersey display match.

Announcer table: Michael Cole talked quietly about the attack by Sheamus on Lawler. Smackdown's Matt Striker was at the table now. Cole said Matt Striker lives in New York City and was here for the show. At least they explained why Striker was in the building. Cole then made sure the show went on by plugging the Survivor Series PPV. Wait, there's a PPV on Sunday? Wow.

In-ring: Evan Bourne came to the ring for a random match. Announcers talked about Bourne defeating Jack Swagger last week to end Swagger's "no losses the rest of the year" streak. On cue, Jack Swagger came out to face Bourne again.

[Commercial Break]

[Q7]

4 -- JACK SWAGGER vs. EVAN BOURNE

Action was joined in progress with Swagger already dominating Bourne with mat holds. Bourne elbowed Swagger in the head, but Swagger shook it off and smashed Bourne with a lariat to the back of the head. Bourne then came back with a double knee smash off the top rope for a two count. Swagger shook off Bourne's offense, then took Bourne across the ring with multiple running powerslams into the turnbuckles before finishing him off with the gut wrench powerbomb for the win. Announcers built up Swagger as a dominant figure for the Survivor Series match for Team Miz.

WINNER: Swagger at 2:02 of what aired. Just two minutes of Swagger having offense, a quick tease from Bourne, then Swagger with the dominating offense to stand tall. Not enough aired for this to be memorable. (n/a)

Backstage: They showed Roddy Piper walking down the hallway for his fight against McMahon.

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Roddy Piper was already in the ring sporting a Hot Rod t-shirt and blue jeans. Where's Goldust for a Backlot Brawl? Piper called out "Vincent" to hurry on out here. Piper wanted a mic. Suddenly, Randy Orton's music hit and out came the Legend Killer looking very menacing with the red LED lights flashing during his entrance. Orton said McMahon isn't coming out here, but he has a bigger problem to deal with. Orton kicked Piper in the gut, then Piper slowly made his way to his feet and punched Orton. Orton shook it off, then dropped Piper to the mat and stomped away on him. No sign of Kofi yet. Orton then went to the corner and stalked Piper for The Punt. Orton looked off camera waiting for a run-in, then Orton approached Piper for The Punt and stopped, thinking Kofi's music was going to hit. Orton looked silly for a second, so he just stomped Piper and Kofi's music finally hit. Orton turned to the hard camera and did this "What the heck?" signal as Kofi hit the ring to start a brawl. Well, that was totally messed up. Orton walked off, then Kofi met him on the floor and took the fight into the stands with Piper bailing to the back. Orton and Kofi brawled through the crowd, then back to ringside, and then back into the ring. Orton catapulted Kofi throat-first across the bottom rope before stalking Kofi for The Punt. Kofi jumped to his feet and blocked, though, then the action moved back to the floor. Kofi smashed Orton into the guardrail twice as Striker talked about the fight they never thought Kofi had inside him.

[Q8] The fight continued on the floor near the production area before refs held Orton back. Fans chanted for them to keep fighting, so Orton tackled Kofi and knocked him down again. Kofi suddenly jumped over the refs and attacked Orton. Refs then held Kofi back, but Kofi chased Orton into the stands on the hard camera side. Kofi stomped away on Orton, who teetered over the edge of the stands before landing at the production area. Kofi then picked up the lid to a production trunk and smashed Orton over the face with the item. Orton had a cut on his forehead. Oops, we have blood. Kofi cradled Orton's head to make sure the blood didn't get on camera, then all the attention turned to Kofi, who put Orton on a gimmicked table. Kofi then went to the railing about five or six feet above the table and teased a dive, but refs held his feet and pulled him down. The fans booed, wanting to see the spot, but Kofi was dragged down the side stairs. Kofi then suddenly broke free and stormed up the stairs to the railing. Kofi then came off the top with a memorable Boom Boom leg drop onto Orton through the table. Huge crowd reaction with WWE capturing the moment with a slow-mo recap of Kofi getting major air, the crowd reactions, etc. After several replays, they cut back live to show Kofi standing tall on the railing above Orton's lifeless body. JC: This could have been a totally botched segment after the botched Punt on Piper, but it turned into one of the best segments on WWE TV this year with a real star-making opportunity for Kofi, who delivered the goods here. Very memorable with WWE trying to make an "MSG moment" after talking about "MSG moments" all night.

Hogan DVD: They plugged the Hulk Hogan DVD coming out tomorrow with the old-school collection of Hogan clips. WWE's way of saying they own the Hogan Legacy.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: They showed WWE champion John Cena for the first time tonight. Cena plugged the big main event coming up next with his usual "super announcer voice." Cena said it's DX - friends for life and always with something to sell you. Cena said Undertaker seemed like such an obvious choice for a partner, but realized it's difficult to talk to him because he might actually be dead. Suddenly, a stagehand walked over and handed Cena a note. Cena said he doesn't believe it. This can't be real, he said. Cena relayed the message that he's made a mistake. Survivor Series isn't a handicap match with Cena vs. DX, but a triple threat match. That means there won't be a Frisbee golf tournament, no glowstick party, but if Triple H and Shawn Michaels want to know if he's ready, then his answer is yes. Cena said the ring has four corners and DX is just fooling themselves because they will have to make a choice. He said he hopes DX stays friends because they're going to need a shoulder to lean on when they realize the...champ...is...here.

In-ring: Chris Jericho and Big Show marched out to the ring three minutes before the top of the hour. This will either be really short or WWE is going way into the over-run period. They cut to a break, which will put them really close to being on a commercial break when other TV shows are ending at the top of the hour and people are tuning in for the over-run.

[Commercial Break]

[Q9 -- over-run]

They returned one minute past the top of the hour. Matt Striker did his best Jesse Ventura voice imitation to plug Ventura hosting the three-hour Raw next week. DX's music hit to bring out HBK and Hunter for team two in the main event. Quick DX crotch chops to get that out of the way before John Cena's music hit. One small kid was confused and threw up a thumbs down while in his dad's arms. Quick Cena entrance, then Cena and Hunter stared each other down while Michaels stared at Big Show. After a pause, the druids started chanting and out came druids with torches. Crowd responded with an "Under-taker" chant. Once the druids were lined up, the bell tolled and the smoke filled the ring entrance. Undertaker then slowly made his way out to the ring with the World Title belt around his waist. It looked like Taker was in pain with every step he took. Cole said it's been almost a year since Taker was in-action on Raw. Once Taker hit the ring, Hunter and Michaels stood stoically. No mention of Taker vs. HBK from WrestleMania. Taker then took off his hat as Cole explained it's triple threat rules and you can only tag in your tag partner.

5 -- World Hvt. champion THE UNDERTAKER & WWE champion JOHN CENA vs. DX (SHAWN MICHAELS & TRIPLE H) vs. Unified tag champions CHRIS JERICHO & BIG SHOW

Cena, Michaels, and Jericho started things off with the bell sounding seven minutes after the top of the hour. Big Show then tagged in for Jericho, followed by Hunter. Cena then walked over to Taker, who tagged in to bring in the three bigger men. Hunter and Taker formed an agreement to work over Show, who took right hand strikes. Taker and Hunter then dumped Show to the floor and went after each other. Hunter landed a spinebuster, then Hunter tagged in Michaels. Taker sat up, though, and we were back to WrestleMania 25. Cole noted it was their first encounter since then. Michaels ducked a punch, then landed a round of slaps. Taker then walked into a big spear from Big Show, who clobbered Michaels and brought in Chris Jericho. Jericho smirked and saluted himself before landing a bulldog on Michaels. Jericho then slapped on the Walls of Jericho, but Taker broke it up and Cena blind-tagged in for Taker. Cena dropped Jericho with a bulldog, but Michales hit Cena with a chop and brought in Hunter. Suddenly, Cena and Hunter had a staredown. He gave Hunter the "You Can't See Me" and Hunter responded with a crotch chop. Show had enough and double-chokeslammed both men until Taker entered to battle Show. Cole noted Taker's MSG moments with a reference to "Mankind." The action moved to the floor where Show whipped Taker into the guardrail. Cole said he needs a scorecard to keep up with who's legal. Michaels took a tag from Hunter, then Michaels did his routine and went up top to drop the "vintage" elbow to the heart. Michaels started tuning up the band, but Cena interrupted and put Michaels center ring for the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena then wanted the FU on HBK, but Hunter blind-tagged in mid-air and dropped Cena with a high knee. Hunter cleaned house before dropping Cena with a spinebuster center ring. Hunter wanted the Pedigree, but Big Show entered and headbutted Hunter. Suddenly, Michaels dropped Show with the superkick. Jericho with the Codebreaker on Michaels. Taker then re-entered and chokeslammed Jericho. Hunter then clotheslined Taker to the floor. Suddenly, Cena with the FU on Hunter to score a pin on Hunter for the win.

Post-match: Out of nowhere, Undertaker entered the ring and dropped Cena with a Tombstone Piledriver center ring. Striker asked if Taker was trying to send a message of domination. It's the Alpha Male world. Taker then grabbed his World Title belt and knelt over Cena's fallen body. Taker stared into the hard camera as his music played to close the show 15 minutes past the top of the hour.

WINNERS: Taker & Cena at 7:10. Well, there's your first official tease for Cena vs. Taker at WrestleMania 26. Very good tag match with a constant flow of action, moves, teases, counters, finishers, star power, and intriguing match-ups. Electric atmosphere in the arena helped tremendously. This show started with tons of energy, DX sucked the life out of the building, then McMahon, Piper, Kofi, and Orton rebuilt the energy to culminate with an excellent TV main event. Only problem was we still don't have an issue for the top two matches at Survivor Series and WWE is teasing a WrestleMania match. WWE is obviously not concerned about PPV buys at this point. (***)

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