KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT
OCTOBER 23, 2009
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.
AIRED ON SPIKE TV

[Q1]

-They opened with a video package on Bound for Glory with freeze-frames of various highlights from the PPV beginning with Christopher Daniels's potentially-paralyzing bump in the Ultimate X match and closing with A.J. Styles's victory over Sting being called "the biggest of his career" and Sting saying the way the fans reacted to him makes him want to stick around. The show is titled "Black Thursday?"

-The TNA Impact opening then aired followed by Mike Tenay introducing the show hyping that there'd be an Ultimate X match and a Six-Sides of Steel match on the show. They quickly flashed the participants on graphics. Very quickly.

-Kurt Angle then walked out wearing a suit. Angle said it's been one year to the day since he, Sting, Kevin Nash, Scott Steiner, and Booker T formed the Main Event Mafia. He said he is now standing in the ring without a family. He said people mistook the formation of the Mafia as a way to "secure spots." He said he always knew he was better than anyone else, so he didn't need to worry about job security. He said it was about pride and wanting to be the best. The crowd booed him and then began the Steve Austin "What?" routine. He said he made a mistake and he's willing to admit it. He said he's now seen boys turn into men in the last year. He complimented Eric Young for modeling himself after him. He said A.J. Styles wants to be the best. "And then there's Matt Morgan," he said. "At Bound for Glory, the fire and determination in his eyes reminded me of myself ten years ago when I started in professional wrestling." He said he wanted to say to "the boys and the girls" in the back that they have nothing to prove to him. He said he considers them his peers and he's willing to fight the fight they're fighting.

Rhino's music interrupted. Taz and Tenay wondered what Rhino was doing. Tenay noted that they're seeing another side of Angle. Rhino got in Angle's face and said he's glad he's having some kind of revelations in the ring, but he should see that the MEM is no more. He said Booker T is gone. He asked if he was going to fight "next to nobody." He said TNA management wants them gone. He told the crowd to shut up. He said TNA management is now behind Hernandez, Morgan, and Styles. He said management brought in Bobby Lashley and shoved him aside and waited for the trash man to pick him up and take him away for good.

Team 3D barged out down the ramp and were held back by security. Rhino said he knows "Bubba" is mad at him, but he said he did what he had to do to get his and Devon's attention. He asked if they get what's going on around there. H0e said they're standing next to guys brought in to take their place. Bubba said they're paranoid. Rhino asked what they can do besides wrestle. Bubba grabbed a chair. Rhino told security to hold them back. Then he told Team 3D they're not on the card. "Maybe they don't think you guys pull the ratings like you used to." Rhino told them to come to ringside as he's wrestling Hernandez later. They tried to charge into the ring. Rhino said they should come to ringside and cheer Hernandez because he'll need it. He said management may want him to leave, but they have to drag him out of the ring, "but I will fight until I've breathed my last breath." That was a babyface promo because Rhino, as Tenay said, "is passionate about his beliefs," and he's not entirely wrong. In fact, he's pretty much right based on what fans see on TV. "Golden Boy" Bobby Lashley, who can't work, can't talk, and isn't over, was brought in and pushed at the same time Rhino disappeared. Rhino would have reason to complain, and his line at the end about fighting until his last breath is the type of line heroes use in war movies. Strange way to do that if they weren't planning to turn Rhino babyface. Sure, he's angry and yells a lot, but he came across as a guy you'd want on your side going to war if you were undermanned.

[Q2]

-Lauren asked Styles what he thinks of what Angle said. Styles told Daniels and Lauren he's still digesting it. He said if Angle was sincere, it was a big step forward. He said they're all working to create the best wrestling company on the planet. Aren't they all working to win individual titles? How does everyone "work together" when everyone fights to win in order to earn title shots, win titles, or get revenge? Lauren told Daniels that the three-way main event at Turning Point with Styles vs. Daniels vs. Samoa Joe is a rematch from about five years ago that many call the greatest match in TNA history. Daniels said "A.J.-Joe-Daniels II" will exceed expectations. It seems like they're headed toward Daniels turning heel on Styles next month, and the only way to justify Daniels being in the ring with Styles in order to turn on him was to book them in a three-way match with Samoa Joe, who's more of a tweener these days anyway. The problem is there's no reason for it to be a three-way match, much less did they do anything in the last 4-8 weeks to explain how Joe or Daniels earned a title opportunity in a PPV main event. Styles vs. Daniels could be a good feud, but chapter one, if that's where they're indeed headed, feels contrived. [c]

-Lauren inteviewed Raesha Saeed about facing Awesome Kong later. Saeed said everything she knows she learned from her so she knows what she's going to do before she knows she's going to do it. She told Kong, "You are my puppet. I pull the strings. You wrestle tonight. I will destroy you." [c]

-They showed Tenay and Taz at ringside. Taz pushed his "FTW" hoodie. Do they have any plans at all to explain the "FTW" letters or are they assuming everyone watching saw and remembers it and understood it at the time? Tenay plugged that Consequences Creed & Jay Lethal face the Machine Guns in an Ultimate X match to earn a shot at the TNA Tag Team Titles at Turning Point. Why are they fighting in an Ultimate X match? I know, I know, it's a little something extra, bro, so it can't hurt, can it?

-They cut to the entrance ramp where Homicide jumped Amazing Red on the ramp. They were apparently scheduled to wrestle. Ah yes, we've been anticipating this marquee match for weeks.

1 -- AMAZING RED vs. HOMICIDE

Tenay and Taz said there is a long history between them. He said Homicide trained Red, then Taz said they each had a wrestling school and they each had some wrestling students at Homicide's gym and there was a bit of a rivalry. Oh, okay. Now everyone is totally engaged in this one! Don West walked to ringside. Almost in passing, Tenay noted that Red is still X Division Champion. Homicide gave Red snake eyes, but Red didn't hit anything. Homicide went for a pin with his feet on the ropes. The ref stopped the count. Homicide argued. Red kicked him and head scissored him and kicked him again, then gave him his somersault powerbomb for a two count. Taz raved about the move. Homicide fired back a minute later with the Gringos Killer for the clean win. Taz said a win over a champion, even in a non-title situation, builds confidence. Tenay said Red never recovered from the pre-match attack, giving the excuse for the champ losing in three minutes. That might be more believable had he not dominated the last minute of the match and looking totally fresh before he lost to a single move from Homicide. West yapped at Homicide at ringside.

WINNER: Homicide in 3:00. [c]

-Lauren interviewed Steiner backstage. She reiterated that Booker is gone (no backstory is provided there at all on this show) and thus MEM is finished. Steiner asked where that leaves him. Steiner said as long as he's around, there will be a Main Event Mafia. He said Angle lost his mind when he gave others credit. He said Angle doesn't speak for him and the young punks have to earn it. Steiner's character and persona most resembles "30 Rock" star Tracy Morgan. (A.J., by the way, is totally Jason Stackhouse from "True Blood.") Steiner said he's going to beat Mike Morgan. Lauren said it's Matt Morgan. Steiner said he'd beat up both of them. That be kinda funny if there weren't this pattern of veterans forgetting the names of younger guys promotions are trying elevate as some thinly veiled way of sending everyone including management the message that he's a nobody. Steiner said when he's done with Morgan, he won't remember his name, either. (Think Triple H not knowing the names of two Team Smackdown members, or Rikishi showing up in TNA and talking about the no-names in TNA.)

[Q3]

-Steiner hit on Lashley's wife who was sitting in the front row. Taz said that was disrespectful.

2 -- SCOTT STEINER vs. MATT MORGAN

They introduced on-screen graphics for the wrestlers with their height, weight, years pro, and finishing move. Nice touch. Steiner was listed as being a pro for 23 years. Morgan threw some elbows at Steiner in the corner, then charged and ended up selling some mysterious pain in his abdomen. Steiner kicked Morgan as Morgan adjusted his kneepad on the mat. Morgan made a comeback at 2:00 and splashed Steiner in the corner and then clotheslined him. After playing the crowd, he choked Steiner over the top rope and then dove onto his back. They went to ringside where Steiner too over, throwing Morgan into the railing near Lashley's wife. He grabbed her by her arms and shoved her hands up and down on his bare chest. He insisted she loved it. Lashley ran out with his famous single facial expression and attacked Lashley. Then he whipped Steiner into the ringpost, then into the ring. He stood on the ring apron, blocked a Steiner punch, and then threw a worked punch that obviously missed badly by four inches or so. Bad. Really bad. Morgan then caught Steiner with the Carbon Footprint for the win.

WINNER: Morgan in 4:00.

-Lauren interviewed Awesome Kong who said she'll finish Saeed. [c]

-Lauren chased Lashley down and said she'd like to apologize on behalf of TNA. Lashley said Steiner owes his wife an apology and he's playing a game he doesn't want to play. Doesn't Lashley's wife, Crystal, know about how marriages brought onto TV in pro wrestling usually come to an end before long?

-A clip aired of Young turning on Nash at Bound for Glory.

3 -- SAMOA JOE & KEVIN NASH vs. A.J. STYLES & DANIELS

Tenay talked about Styles beating Sting. Did we miss the episode where they dealt with the fallout and ramifications of the Biggest PPV of the Year, especially it's main event? They moved instantly from a brief clip at the start of the show of a victorious Styles to an unexplained three-way title match being announced, with no further info about how Styles won and what either of their reaction is. How can they convince viewers PPVs are important and worth buying if they're practically afterthoughts on the next edition of Impact. Part of selling the next pay-per-view is making the one that just happened seem important and gives viewers who didn't see it a feeling of regret for having missed out on history. That video at the start of the show was nice, but more - much more - is needed. Joe fended off an early attack from the babyfaces and tagged in Nash at 2:00.

[Q4]

Nash side-slammed Styles and scored a two count. Nash moved Styles to the corner and threw a series of elbows and knees. Styles came back at 4:00 with a springboard forearm. Daniels then hot-tagged in and attacked both Nash and an interfering Joe. he threw Joe into Nash and then clotheslined Nash who basically DDT'd Joe. Daniels scored a near fall on Nash. Nash then caught a charging Daniels with a clothesline. Styles flipped onto Joe at ringside. Well, he overshot him more than those Northwest pilots headed toward Minneapolis/St. Paul. What's with all of the missed moves on this show? A fatigued crew. Daniels reached for a tag, but Styles was down and out at ringside, the first stage of Daniels justifying turning on Styles. Nash then pinned Daniels. I know there was snickering about this finish when the spoilers got out (Nash pinning Daniels when Daniels inexplicably got a World Title shot at the next PPV), but now watching it, it makes sense that Daniels got pinned because it creates the beginning of tension between them. What's a mystery is why Nash got the pin instead of Joe.

WINNERS: Nash & Joe in 5:00.

STAR RATING: *

-Lauren interviewed Nash afterward. He said he's not celebrating his victory, he's focused on finding Eric Young for stealing his belt. This is another case of TNA jerking viewers' emotions. Are viewers supposed to perceive Nash & Joe as heels (since they just battled an established babyface team and haven't turned since being part of the Mafia) or babyfaces against the heel faction leader, Young? Or is Young the babyface? Or are fans supposed to care about Nash and Young feuding while disliking both of them? Tenay said Young should be looking over his shoulder.

-Borash said they're going to deliver "hot backstage gossip" to everyone's phone. Young interrupted the pitch and directed comments at Nash, saying he's not hard to find. He said he's the leader of the World Elite, the most dominant group in pro wrestling. He said he has an Earth-shattering announcement next week. [c]

-Lauren interviewed Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley backstage. She said TNA history will be made tonight when for the first time ever TNA will feature an Ultimate X tag team match on Impact. Sabin said the Machine Gun movement has begun, first with their new entrance music and now the first Ultimate X tag match on Impact. Alex Shelley said they're going to make people pay attention to them and start tonight.

-Tenay threw to a skit with The Beautiful People who interrupted catering and threw food at Sarita and Taylor Wilde. A big food fight resulted. The big joke was Taz noting that there was "cream on Sarita's abdomen," which led to Tenay telling Taz to calm down. [c]

[Q5]

4 -- AWESOME KONG vs. RAESHA SAEED

Kong missed a big splash at 2:00, but when Saeed followed up with a splash of her own, Kong lifted her knees. Kong sat out on a sunset flip attempt a minute later. Taz said that counts as an Implant Buster too, laughed at his own line, and then acknowledged it with the line, "I popped myself." Kong scored the pin and then dragged Saeed to the stage and powerbombed her through the stage. Taz called for help for her. Was that really an angle worth pulling out the "powerbomb through the stage" gimmick?

WINNER: Kong in 4:00. [c]

-They showed Saeed being stretchered away during the break.

5 - RHINO vs. HERNANDEZ

Brother Ray joined Tenay and Taz at ringside. Devon stood behind them. Ray said they promised TNA management that they'd cool off at ringside during Rhino's match. Ray said Jesse Neal is progressing well at the Team 3D Wrestling Academy. Hernandez hit an early dive onto Rhino at ringside. As Hernandez returned to the ring, Rhino kicked the middle rope into his crotch and then took over offense. Ray got more and more worked up as he did commentary. Hernandez made a comeback at 2:00, splashed Rhino in the corner, chokeslammed him, and scored a near fall. Hernandez followed with a top rope splash for the pin. Ray said he was happy to see that.

WINNER: Hernandez in 3:00.

[Q6]

-Afterward, Rhino attacked Hernandez from behind. Hernandez made a comeback on his own and set up a Border Toss. Team 3D intervened and tried to talk Hernandez into calming down. They raised Hernandez's arms.

-Borash interviewed Angle backstage. Angle reiterated that he was wrong. He said they put it all on the line every night. Borash asked about Rhino's worried about TNA wanting to replace the veterans. Angle said Rhino's just paranoid. He said he wants his title shot next month and they'll find out who the very best in TNA really is. In walked Desmond Wolfe (a/k/a Nigel McGuinness). He said he's a huge fan of his, following his career ever since the Olympics. He said the reason he's a pro wrestler is because of him. He said he came to TNA because of him. Angle thanked him and welcomed him to TNA. Wolfe took off his sunglasses, then attacked Angle as Angle began to talk about the young blood enteriing TNA. He put his sunglasses back on. [c]

-Taz said Wolfe looks like a guy formerly known as Nigel McGuinness. I'm not sure Taz needed to mention his past name. It's not as if Nigel was on WWE TV for years and fans would think TNA was trying to fool them, and fans have accepted that wrestlers change their name when they move to a new promotion.

6 -- THE MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS (Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin) vs. CONSEQUENCES CREED & "BLACK MACHISMO" JAY LETHAL -- Ultimate X match to earn TNA Tag Team Title shot

All four climbed the trusses at the start. The X didn't seem like it was that far above the ring. Lethal hit a lousy looking dropkick on Shelley in the corner. As Shelley held Creed, Sabin began to climb the truss. Creed shoved Shelley into the corner to knock Sabin off balance. Lethal ended up hanging upside down by his legs on the highwire. He then scaled his way toward the X as the others fought beneath him. He was met by Sabin who began kicking him as they both hung from the ropes. They both dropped to the mat before getting to the X. Lethal gave Shelley a cool released Dragon Suplex mkd-ring. Sabin surprised Lethal with a tornado DDT seconds later. Creed then surprised Sabin with a clothesline at 5:00. Creed and Lethal double-teamed Sabin with Shelley recovering at ringside. Lethal applied a Boston Crab as Creed climbed to the top rope. Shelley stopped his climb.

[Q7]

Sabin then clotheslined Creed off of Shelley's shoulders. Sabin climbed to the high wire and got near the X. Lethal yanked him down and gave him the Lethal Combination. Sabin and Shelley fought off Letha's attempts to get to the X, then gave him a top rope Sliced Bread. Shelley sold a leg injury on the landing. Sabin climbed to the high wire again. As he got to the X, Creed kicked him. Tenay had to yell to the director, "Don't lose Creed in this shot" because the truck was asleep in the cockpit. They switched camera views in time to see Creed basically kick Sabin into the X, which he grabbed and dropped to win.

WINNERS: Machine Gunns in 8:00.

STAR RATING: **3/4

-They showed a split screen of the British Invasion and Beer Money. [c]

-Don West, on camera, plugged upcoming dates.

-Lauren interviewed The British Invasion. Doug Williams tried to make the case that they're the best team in wrestling, this coming right after a TV three-on-one loss to Hernandez. Brutus Magnus riffed on James Storm's "sorry about your damn luck line."

-Borash interviewed Beer Money. Typical good promo from them. Storm took offense about Magnus stealing his line, then said the last time he was sober was the time he conceived Magnus at Magnus's mom's house.

-Ring intros took place for the tag team main event. [c]

[Q8]

7 -- BRITISH INVASION (Brutus Magnus & Doug Williams w/Rob Terry) vs. BEER MONEY INC. -- TNA World Tag Team Title match in a cage

Roode took early control. At 1:00 Tenay explained the backstory of the match. Nice to get around to that. He said TNA management "wanted the ratings" (cut that crap!) so they went to British Invasion and wanted them to defend the tag titles. The Brits agreed, but only if this was the last title match Beer Money would get. There's no established set of rules within TNA for how champions title defenses are dictated, so this stuff just seems "made up to fit the situation." Storm hot-tagged in at 3:00. At 67:00 they set up a quad-stack suplex off the top rope. The crowd chanted "TNA, TNA," but it was one of those dangerous spots that gets that largely meaningless short-term pop where the fans aren't invested in anything drama-wise other than the "holy sh--" aspect of the spot. Taz said it looked like a building fell down from the sky. Magnus punched out the ref after a Beer Money double-team move and cover on Williams. Rob Terry entered the cage when replacement refs entered the cage to check on the fallen ref. Earl Hebner DQ'd the Brits. Magnus smirked as he grabbed his tag title belt from ringside.

WINNERS: Beer Money in 7:00.

STAR RATING: ** -- Nice action, and the short duration makes sense only in that there was a DQ ending for hitting the ref cutting the match short. However, a DQ finish in a cage match shatters the illusion that cage matches are a gimmick match that solves problems such as intentional DQs by heels. The match should have been continued by Hebner, since there were several replacement refs ready to take over, if for no other reason than to protect the integrity of the cage gimmick. This match could have been under regular rules, not a cage, and accomplished the same positives of forwarding the feud and making the Brits out to be sneaky heels without the damage of causing fans to roll their eyes at a cage match ending by DQ. [c]

-Lauren interviewed Styles as he was leaving the arena. She said it appeared to her there was an issue between he and Daniels at the end of their match. Styles denied it, but wasn't believable. Lauren said she doesn't buy it. Styles was then attacked by a mystery assailant with a hooded sweatshirt.

-At ringside, Taz and Tenay said they didn't get a good look. They hyped Abyss vs. Dr. Stevie & Daffney next week.

-Angle walked out and called out Desmond Wolfe. He told him to come out and look him in the eye. When Desmond didn't come out, Angle began to walk up the stage to go find him. Desmond attacked Angle again. Angle made a brief comeback with an uppercut and a head-ram into the announce table. Desmond took over with a kick to Angle's crotch. Desmond, who has a good look and good facial expressions, gloated and then gave Angle a face-driver off the top rope. Angle looked out of it as Desmond walked out. The crowd chanted, "You suck! You suck!" Desmond grabbed a chair from ringside. Tenay and Taz worried about Angle's surgically repaired neck. Desmond put a chair across his throat and said he knows about his neck and it'd be easy to end his career. He told him he wants him to think about it. "And by the way, my name is Wolfe. Desmond Wolfe!" Tenay said he's seen some impressive debuts in his time, but didn't finish the sentence. Taz, in an Empty Cliche Watch moment, concluded, "Desmond is here to stay." Really strong debut for Desmond. It felt like a new season for TNA beginning post-Bound for Glory, which is a good tradition to start. That's how you introduce a new wrestler. That very angle was pretty much proposed for Brutus Magnus at one point recently, but the much more experienced and polished McGuinness fell into their lap. He could be a late-year breakout start candidate who a lot of fans are going to be impressed with not just with how he carries himself (and he was Main Event in that respect on this show), but also how credible he is in the ring in an era where having an MMA-credible style can really help fans buy into your act.

QUOTEBOOK

Daniel: "I almost died in the ring on Sunday night, yet here we all are in the Impact Zone one more time, so if there's any question who's ready and who's at the top of their game, well, A.J. and I are going to answer those questions in the ring."

Scott Steiner: "You have to be crazy to be in this business and Kurt Angle is already there."

[Desmond Wolfe (as Nigel McGuinness) photo credit Wade Keller (c) PWTorch]

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