TV REPORTS WILKENFELD'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 10/22: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Spike TV broadcast
Oct 22, 2009 - 8:28:30 PM
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By: Daniel Wilkenfeld, PWTorch Contributor
Where We've Been: AJ's still champ. Sting might or might not be a retiring. Angle might or might not be face, which could be fun for a few months. Morgan's a main eventer. Bound for Glory had a lot of interesting stuff, but I'm running late, so we'll leave it there for now. I have a recap posted, for those who are interested.
The Show: Black Thursday
We run down most of the BFG results. Incidentally, seven minutes of pretty good wrestling from Lashley is nice, but I still don't care. They call AJ's match classic, which is clearly an oversell.
Tonight Lethal Consequences and the Motor City Machine Guns will fight in an Ultimate X Match for the chance to wrestle for the titles at Turning Point, and Beer Money will challenge for the TNA Tag Team Championship in the Six Sides of Steel.
Kurt Angle is out to start, to his own music. Kurt points out that he stands here without a family. It's been a year since he formed the Main Event Mafia. He says as a group they were misunderstood. It wasn't about securing a spot—at least it wasn't for him. He knew Kurt Angle was better than everyone else, so his spot was secured. That gets boos, but I'm not really sure why. It was about respect for competition, and respect for the game. When he got here he thought it was a show of young punks who wanted things handed to them. But he admits now that he made a mistake. That gets cheers. The crowd's starting to toy with this being a real face turn. It all started when he saw Eric Young. Here was a kid who wanted it so bad he took it to Kurt Angle. Then, here's a good one, AJ Styles—damn does that kid have talent. The crowd goes nuts for that. They wrestled a match last week that no one could say was "anything more than a classic". Okay, we know what you meant. Then it came to Matt Morgan. Seeing the determination in his eyes was like looking at himself ten years ago. There were a few times on Sunday that he thought Morgan had him. So he knows people in the back are watching, and just wants them to know that they have nothing to prove to him. Music hits up, and…"Gore"? Really? Here's Rhino. He's glad Kurt's having some kind of "revelation", but can't he see what's happening here? The MEM is gone. Booker's out. TNA Management—they want "us" gone. Look at the guy's TNA Management is behind—Hernandez, Matt Morgan, and AJ Styles. What about people like Rhino and Kurt? Kurt says he understands, but maybe they've earned it. Rhino asks what they've earned. He fought side-by-side with them at on the Front Line, and then they tossed him aside for Bobby Lashley like a piece of garbage. Ray and Devon storm out, with Ray's head bandaged. Rhino says he knows what he did, but he had to in order to get their attention. They're being replaced. Ray screams that Rhino's paranoid. The crowd chants for them to fight, but Rhino says that that's not gonna happen. He also says that if Team 3D don't believe him, they can look at tonight's card—they're not on it. Team 3D try to hit the ring, but security and Kurt Angle hold them back. Rhino says that they can come out to night to cheer on Hernandez, since he's gonna need it. TNA management might want to force him out, but he's going to fight it.
Lauren is in the back with Daniels and AJ, and she wants to know their thoughts on Angle's comments. AJ says he's still processing, but if Kurt was sincere, then that's a huge step for TNA. If it can all just be about competition, then this'll be the best company in the world. Lauren says that the main event has already been signed for Turning Point, and it's AJ vs. Daniels vs. Joe for the TNA World Heavyweight title. Wait, seriously? Damnit, I will have to keep paying the $40 after all. Lauren says TNA Management is hoping for a repeat of their classic match from Unbreakable five years back—Daniels promises that AJ-Daniels-Joe II will be even better. Actually this'll be AJ-Daniels-Joe V or so, but I guess he only counts main events. He also comments on Joe and Nash's (their opponents tonight) losses at BFG, but points out that he was almost killed and is still here.
Lauren is in the back with Raesha Saeed—tonight she'll be fighting Kong. Saeed says that if Kong thinks she doesn't need Saeed anymore, she's wrong. Saeed taught her everything she knows, and knows everything she'll do before she does it. Saeed has news for Kong—Kong's always been her puppet. If they face off tonight, Kong will be crushed.
Homicide is beating Amazing Red down the ramp. He hits a big clothesline outside the ring, then bashes Red's head into the ring post. Red sidesteps and gets Homicide with a Mule Kick. Homicide elevates him up, Red lands on the apron, but then Homicide takes his legs out from under him. They roll into the ring.
(1) HOMICIDE vs. AMAZING RED
Homicide hits a Body Slam, but misses on an Elbow Drop. Homicide comes back with a Pump Handle Suplex. We're told that Homicide actually trained Red, and that they have rival schools in Brooklyn. Homicide whiffs on an attempted Stinger Splash, but when Red comes back at him he gets his head elevated into the top turnbuckle. He makes a cover with the ropes, but the ref sees it at two. While Homicide argues with the ref Red hits a quick School Boy for two. A Trouble in Paradise Gets two. Red runs up Homicide in the corner, hits the Flying Leg Scissors, and then follows up with jump-over Sunset Flip Powerbomb for two. He charges into an Alabama Slam by Homicide in the corner, and Homicide rolls right over and into the Gringo Killer. No one kicks out of that.
WINNER: Homicide in 3 minutes, plus one on the outside. The short loss makes more sense than usual, given the prematch ambush. The action was unbelievable while it lasted. I'm stoked for their title match, when it happens.
Lauren catches up with Scott Steiner backstage. She wants to know where, if it seems like the MEM doesn't exist. Steiner wants to know who thinks the MEM doesn't exist. He's wearing MEM gear, and coming from the MEM locker room. As long as he's in TNA, there'll still be an MEM. You have to be crazy to work in this business, and Kurt's already there. Kurt doesn't speak for him—these kids haven't earned a thing. Tonight he'll prove it when he beats up Mike Morgan. Lauren corrects the name. He wants to know who Mike is then. He says he'll beat them both up, and that it doesn't matter, since tonight he'll beat Matt so bad he won't remember his own name.
On the way to the ring, Steiner poses for Lashley's wife. I wonder who he'll be feuding with next.
(2) MATT MORGAN vs. SCOTT STEINER
Steiner looks like he wants a Suplex, but randomly changes his mind and goes for some chops. I wonder what was up with that. Morgan reverses an Irish Whip and catches Steiner with an elbow on his way back. Morgan hits his series of elbows in the corner, but when he charges he mysteriously acts as if Steiner hit an invisible low blow. Maybe the camera just missed it? Steiner kicks Morgans legs out from under him, then stands him op for a Vertical Suplex. Taz says that if you have a Suplex based offense and a taller opponent, your lower hips give you better leverage. I would not have thought of that—that's why Taz is the best in the business. Steiner hits the Steiner Liner and his push-up/elbow. Morgan hits a clothesline out of nowhere, charges in the corner, hits a 360 Degree Clothesline, and hits his float over Guillotine choke against the ropes. When he tries to take the fight to the outside, Steiner bashes his head against the barricade. Morgan rolls back into the ring, so Steiner takes the opportunity to make Lashley's wife feel his pecs and abs. Lashley comes out and squishes him. There's a brief "Lashley sucks" chant, followed by a much louder "Bobby, Bobby" chant. Steiner tries to escape into the ring, but walks right into a carbon footprint.
WINNER: Matt Morgan in five minutes. The ref I think tried to act like he missed all the interference, though Tenay claims he just decided to let it go. I can't decide what I think about the fact that Lashley managed to somehow evince absolutely no personality even when running out to save his wife. It's rather impressive, really.
In the back, Kong tells Raesha that there'll be no more orders, and that tonight it's finished.
Lauren catches up with Lashley and his wife in the back. She tries to apologize for TNA, but Lashley says Scott needs to apologize to Crystal. What he did tonight was inexcusable, and this is a game that Scott really doesn't want to play. You know we went so long without involving anyone's family in the plot.
(3) SAMOA JOE & KEVIN NASH vs. AJ STYLES & DANIELS
Nash and Joe attack to start. Nash and Daniels go to the outside; in the ring, AJ leapfrogs Joe and hits his high dropkick. He tags in Daniels, who's back on the apron. Daniels hits a leg lariat for one. AJ tags himself back in, but Joe creates some distance with an elbow and stops AJ with an Inverted Atomic Drop. Joe hits a Senton Drop, then tags in Nash. Nash connects with a huge Side Slam for two. Nash tags in Joe. We're told that EY has not yet given Nash his $60,000. AJ tries to fight back, but Joe knocks him to the canvas. Nash tags back in and hits his series of knees in the corner, followed by his series of elbows. He poses for a second, which enables Styles to fight out of the corner. Nash stops him with a knee, but AJ goes to the apron and hits his Springboard Flying Forearm. AJ tags out. Joe runs in without bother to wait for the tag, but Daniels cuts him off with a Leg Lariat. Nash tries to whip Daniels, but Daniels just ends up clotheslining Joe in the corner. Nash then puts Joe under Nash's arm and hits a Flying Clothesline on Nash off the top rope, in effect causing Nash to DDT Joe. That was cool. A cover on Nash gets two as the crowd goes nuts for Daniels. Daniels works some right hands on Nash, but Nash comes back with a clothesline from his knees. Joe randomly hits an Asai Moonsault on Joe on the outside. In the ring Daniels takes Nash down with a dropkick, but when he looks for the tag AJ's still down. Daniels turns back around into a Choke Slam for game.
WINNERS: Joe & Nash in six minutes. That was pretty good, if a predictable attempt to break up Styles & Daniels.
After the Lauren congratulates Nash on the win. He wants to know if she really thinks he cares about this win while EY has his title and his $60,000.
JB is propping TNA Mobile when Eric Young takes the mic. I wonder if JB will ever finish that sentence. EY says that he heard what Nash said, and that he's not hard to find. With The British Invasion holding the Tag Titles and him holding the Legends' Championship, World Elite is now the most powerful stable in professional wrestling. Next week EY will have an announcement that will rock TNA to its very foundations—vini, vidi, vici. Okay, that's instantly my favorite catchphrase in wrestling.
Lauren is in the back with The Motor City Machine Guns. History will be made tonight when Impact has its first ever Tag Team Ultimate X Match. Sabin asks if she smells the progress as The Motor City Machine Gun movement gains momentum. He admits that Lethal Consequences might have a slight edge, since they didn't wrestle double-duty on Sunday, but says that it won't matter when the Guns pull down that X. Shelley says that while he appreciates TNA giving chances to younger wrestlers, somehow The Guns got left out of that initiative. So now they've been given one shot, and they're going to take it.
The Beautiful People have gotten a camera crew for their new reality TV Show "Meanest Girls". They find Wilde and Sarita in catering and ambush them. Apparently responding to my complaints from last week, catering now has salad and spaghetti. That's…progress? The Beautiful People cover Wilde & Sarita in salad dressing, then tell us to watch for the sequel next week.
Raesha Saeed walks down to the ring.
(4) AWESOME KONG vs. RAESHA SAEED
Kong starts pounding on Saeed, who tries to crawl between her legs. She Giant Swings Saeed around. Saeed crawls away and starts rolling and evading Kong. Saeed hits a series of quick strikes, then dropkicks Kong's knee. She charges with a boot, Kong catches it, but then she ducks the Spinning Back Fist. Kong flattens her with a Body Press though. Kong goes to the top rope, but Saeed cuts her off, hits her quick hits, then a Face Buster off the top rope for a long two count. Saeed stomps Kong on the mat, but when she tries to follow up with a Splash off the middle rope Kong gets her knees up. Kong looks for the Implant Buster; Saeed slips out. Kong looks for an Awesome Bomb; Saeed slips out and looks for a Sunset Flip. Kong just sits on her. Raesha Saeed is done for. Kong polishes her off with an Implant Buster.
WINNER: Awesome Kong in 3 minutes. They did a really good job actually working Saeed's knowledge of Kong into the story of the match.
After the match, Kong drags Saeed up the apron. The crowd is chanting for her. Referee Andrew Thomas tries to talk her down, but it's not happening. Saeed Awesome Bombs Saeed through the stage. Saeed is dead—long live Alissa Flash.
We recap what happened moments ago, and show Saeed getting stretchered out during the break. Okay—that might be a legit use of the "moments ago" recap.
(5) HERNANDEZ vs. RHINO
Brother Ray is on commentary during the match, with Devon flanking him. He says that TNA Management told him to behave chill for a bit. Rhino takes it to Hernadnez to start, but Hernandez brushes him off and slams his head into the top turnbuckle. Rhino goes for a clothesline, but Super-Mex ducks and tosses him out of the ring. Hernandez flies out after him. He rolls Rhino into the ring, but when he goes after him Rhino kicks the middle rope to crotch him. The crowd chants that he sucks. Ray's really good on commentary. In the ring, Rhino connects with a Body Slam, but whiffs on a Kamikazee Headbutt. Hernandez charges him in the corner, then lifts him up with one arm and slams him to the mat. Rhino charges in the corner. Hernandez gets a boot up and lifts himself to the top rope, but Rhino meets him there. Hernandez knocks Rhino back to the mat and hits the Splash off the top rope for the win.
WINNER: Hernandez in three minutes. Tenay on commentary tried to sell us on Rhino talking sense. If they just want to make the heel plausible and understandable, I'm all for that. But if they recreate The Millionaires' Club as faces, I will not be pleased.
After the match Rhino attacks with a clothesline and a Belly-to-Belly Suplex. Hernandez bounces back and looks for a Border Toss, when Team 3D come into the ring. Devon says that Hernandez should just shake Rhino's hand and leave. The crowd chants for tables, but I'm not sure who they want to go through them. Hernandez chillaxes and lets Team 3D raise his arms in victory peaceably.
JB is in the back with Kurt, and says that in all the years he's known Kurt he's never heard him talk like he has tonight. As to what Rhino said, Kurt thinks it reflects a lack of confidence on his part. Kurt knows he's the best wrestler, and good for TNA. AJ has a match at this month's PPV, but next month Kurt will get his rematch, and they'll see who the very best is. Some annoyingly familiar guy walks up. He calls Kurt "sir", introduces himself as "Desmond Wolf", and says that the reason he's in professional wrestling and the reason he came to TNA is Kurt Angle. Kurt shakes his hand, starts to say something to JB about good young talent, when Wolfe ambushes him and beats him down. Wow—that's a pretty good way to start your TNA career.
We get another look at moments ago, and now they're starting to abuse that again. Oh, hell, that was Nigel McGuiness. I totally lost my Smark card for not realizing that. I'm half tempted to go back and edit out my confusion, but it's more honest to leave it in.
(6) LETHAL CONSEQUENCES vs. THE MOTOR CITY MACHINGE GUNS Ultimate X #1 Contender's Match
All four men try to climb to start. Shelley drops and decides to go after Creed as Lethal decides the same thing about Sabin. Everyone runs around a bit, culminating with Lethal and Creed going to the outside. Sabin tries to keep them at bay while Shelley climbs, but Creed gets by him and yanks Shelley down. Lethal tosses Sabin out, then he and Creed double team Shelley in the corner. Creed climbs, but Shelley's back up. He elevates Lethal out to the apron, and Sabin knocks him to the outside. They pull down Creed. Shelley holds Creed in a Front Chancery as Sabin climbs, but Creed shoves him into Sabin on the top rope. Lethal's back, and they hit some quick double team offense on Shelley, culminating with a Hesitation Dropkick by Creed. Lethal tries to climb. Sabin cuts off by walking the ropes. Shelley and Creed come over, and it looks lik someone will hit a Tower of Doom, when suddenly Lethal breaks free. Lethal has to climb after him, so Shelley takes Creed to the outside. Shelley and Lethal drop, and Sabin's there to help with Lethal. Creed comes in with a Springboard Forearm out of nowhere on Sabin, but Shelley kicks him down. Lethal hits a Release Dragon Suplex on Shelley, but now Sabin's up. He nails Lethal with an Ensuguri and a Tornado DDT. Creed kicks Shelley in the side of the head, and Lethal comes back to help with the double team. I'm not sure how he recovered before Sabin. Sabin gets up. They try to double team him, but Sabin goes for his spinning/kicking Tornado DDT. He connects with the kick to Creed, but Lethal blocks the DDT and transitions into a Boston Crab. Creed climbs, but Shelley's back to stop him. He hoists up Creed so that a newly-escaped Sabin can hit another Springboard Forearm. Sabin climbs, and is right there when Lethal yanks him down and hits the Lethal Combination. Shelley is trying to climb on the other side, but Lethal comes up behind him. He takes too long getting Shelley down, so Sabin slips behind him and gets in a Power Bomb position. They hit a combo Sliced Bread #2/Power Bomb. Shelley tweaks his knee, but Sabin climbs. Sabin's close when Creed climbs an opposite tress. Creed leaps at Sabin and knocks him down, but Sabin pulls the X with him. That's it.
WINNERS: The Motor City Machine Guns in 8 minutes. This was far from the best Ultimate X, but it was still fairly awesome. If you thought this was a pointless spot-fest, you are probably right, but I don't really see your point. Moreover, other than the Super Sliced Bread #2 nothing even looked overly dangerous (when people came down off the ropes they typically landed on their feet), so it was something of a win-win. If you actively disliked this match, you're probably watching the wrong show—this was the foundation on which the TNA house was built.
Is it just me, or does Smackdown vs. Raw 2010 look amazing? Does anyone have it yet?
Speaking of "amazing", here's Don West to go over TNA's touring schedule. For some reason he disses the Green Bay Packers.
Lauren is in the back with The British Invasion. She congratulates them on their victory, but Williams says that it was a foregone conclusion. Since the World Elite was formed, they've done exactly what they said they were going to do. They've won the gold and forced out the MEM. This place isn't so bad after all. Magnus reminds him that we're still a bunch of lazy slobs. Tonight they're going to take out Beer Money. Money and alcohol are the only two things Americans care about, so tonight they'll make Beer Money sober and poor. Magnus apologizes for their bloody luck.
JB is somewhere else with Beer Money. This is their last shot at the British Invasion. Roode thinks that's great, since this is the last opportunity they need. Last Sunday they got distracted by Team 3D and Steiner & Booker T. Tonight won't be like that. There will be no other teams, and there won't be any big Rob Terry inside the steel. Storm's not sure he heard Mangus properly. Robert Roode hasn't been poor since the day he was born, and Storm hasn't been sober since the night he left Magnus's mama's house the night he was conceived. Six Sides of Steel is Beer Money's home away from home. The Brits need to grow a pain (for not swearing? I think "bloody" counts as a swear word for them). Sorry about their DAMN luck.
It would have been awesome if Ron Simmons could have walked by just then.
(7) THE BRITISH INVASION (c) w/ROB TERRY vs. BEER MONEY INC. Six Sides of Steel for the TNA Tag Team Championships
Oh wait, I guess we first have to wait till the end of this
Roode shoots off Williams to start, but gets taken down with a shoulder block. He pops to his feet and back elbows Williams to the mat. He pounds for a bit, hits a clothesline, and goes for the cover. Magnus tries to break up the cover, but Roode dodges. Williams gets back up and hits a wicked look Snap Gut Wrench Suplex. Magnus tags in, works Roode's ribs for a bit, then tags back out. They hit their double team Union Jack for two. Roode tries to fight out of the corner, but when he goes for the tag Williams grabs his leg and Magnus runs in to drop an elbow. While he's in the ring, he drives Roode's head into the cage. Taz accidentally calls TNA "TNE"—awkward. Magnus officially tags in and locks in a Camel Clutch. He lets up, and Roode tries to punch free, but Magnus knocks him back down. Magnus tries to drive Roode into the cage, but Roode reverses it, drives Mangnus into the cage, and catches him with a Spine Buster on the rebound. Both men look for tags. Magnus gets his first, but Roode is able to kick off Williams and get to Storm. Storm comes in blazing, hitting some clotheslines, a Back Stabber on Magnus, and a Gut Buster on Williams. Magnus recovers in time to make the save at two. Beer Money Suplex him into the cage, then hit the Beer Money Suplex. Williams tries to attack Roode, who smoothly flings him into a DDT from Storm for a long two count. Roode leaves the ring, which is a mistake—Magnus pops him on the apron, then attacks Storm from behind. Williams climbs to the top of the cage, but Storm escapes from Magnus with an Ensuguri and cuts him off. He's looking for a Suplex, but Magnus slips under him into a Power Bomb position. Roode then slips under him, and we get an abnormally vicious Tower of Doom. Beer Money recover first and hit the DWI on Williams, but Magnus is able to catch the ref's hand just before it hits three. Magnus slugs the referee, as Williams seems to be out. Another two refs come into the ring, and Earl Hebner comes out to rule it a DQ. Tenay points out that the British Invasion just beat the system.
WINNERS by DQ: Beer Money Inc. It was a lot like the last match, but much better—just pure high octane action. Incidentally, you know what would be a good way to keep people from gaming the system—go back to the rule that the title can change hands on a DQ.
Kurt Angle is striding around backstage.
Lauren catches up with AJ as he's leaving. She suggests that there was some tension between him and Daniels, but AJ says she's just stirring up trouble. He and Daniels were just talking strategy. As AJ puts his bags into his car someone ambushes him from behind. We don't get a good look at the assailant.
Kurt Angle walks down to the ring. He invites whatever that guy's name is who wants to make a name for himself to come down to the ring and look him in the eye. Curiously, about a third of the cage is still set up. Kurt gives him about ten seconds, then gives up and starts to go to the back. Wolf slips up behind him and knocks him in the back of his head on his way up the ramp. Wolf gloats, but Angle's back up. He hits a European Uppercut, slams Wolf's head into the announce table, and takes Wolf into the ring. When he tries to follow Wolf in, he's nailed with a low blow. He lifts Angle to the top rope and hits the Tower of London (a lifting Diamond Cutter). He goes to the outside for a chair, and places the edge against Angle's throat. He points out that it would be "this easy" (presumably to take Angle out), but he wants Kurt to think about it. And by the way—his name is Wolf—Desmond Wolf.
Where We're Going: So when I first started watching wrestling about ten years ago, I would usually be really excited when PPV day would roll around. Since then, I can't remember the last time I was genuinely psyched for an off-month event. The top of the Turning Point Card is already set as something like Angle vs. Wolf, Homicide vs. Red, and, oh yeah, Daniels vs. AJ vs. Joe. If TNA plays this right, then on November 15th will be the day the excitement returns.
Star of the Night: Desmond Wolf. He looked and sounded great taking it to Kurt Angle.
Overall: Let's recap what happened. One awesome old school TNA spot fest? Check. Awesome Kong and Hernandez eating people? Check. Amazing promo work from the likes of Angle, Wolf, and, to a much lesser extent, Rhino? Check. Another awesome spot-fest? Check. A very entertaining main event? Check. Several unexpected plot twists, and an ambush where it's not immediately 100% obvious who's behind it? Check. Lashley demoted to the mid-card? Check. Most importantly: two historically underappreciated wrestlers, one of whom had signed with WWE last I checked, being inexplicably pushed to the top of the card? Check. Okay, I know a lot of people will complain about the fact that no match came in over eight minutes, and that's their right. But I was entertained from the start of the show till the end, and at times shocked and pleased. I could very well be wrong, but I think this might be my first A+.
Daniel is a graduate instructor at The Ohio State University. Hate mail regarding today's grade can be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org
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