By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT
OCTOBER 8, 2009
TAPED 10/5 IN ORLANDO, FLA.
AIRED ON SPIKE TV

[Q1]

-After a video package aired on the Mick Foley-Abyss feud, they cut to Abyss inside the ring wrapping barbed wire around the ropes and pouring thumb tacks on the mat. He said he was just making himself feel at home. He address Foley, saying he'd bled all over the planet, but he's never bled like he's going to make him bleed at Bound for Glory. He said he was there to challenge him to "the signature match of hardcore wrestling everywhere, the Monster's Ball Match." He said, "At Bound for Glory, you won't have a very nice day, Mick, because I'm going to beat your ass." That prompted Foley to come out to his music with a barbed wire baseball bat in hand.

Foley acknowledged he used his catch phrase against him, then asked if he really wants to challenge him a Monster's Ball match. Abyss jumped in and said he referred to him last week as "a cheap facsimile, a carbon copy, a cheap knockoff." He asked him if he was a cheap knockoff when he headlined the first Lockdown back in 2004 against A.J. Styles "and blew the roof off this place?" He asked if he was a cheap knockoff in 2005 when he competed against Sabu in the first-ever "Barbed Wire Massacre" match. He said he had 122 stitches them. He asked if he was a cheap knockoff in 2007 when he defeated Sting to become the TNA World Hvt. Champion. He said, "That was me, Chris Park, Abyss!" He said while he was spilling his blood, what was he doing? "You were authoring children's books and playing with sock puppets." He said he's half the man he used to be.

Foley said he never said he wasn't hardcore or that he wasn't going to be a big star in TNA for years to come. He said as executive shareholder he's banning the $50,000 bounty on his head. He said at Bound for Glory they'd find out, though, whether he's half the man he used to be. He then stopped at ringside, turned back toward Abyss, and said he wanted to "tweak" the Monster's Ball match. He said since he seems addicted to certain things, he's going to help him by banning thumbtacks. He also is going to assign a special referee, Dr. Stevie. Mick smiled as Stevie walked out and shook hands with Foley. Daffney joined them, too.

As Abyss began to lose his composure and dripped with worry, Stevie told Abyss he managed to alienate everyone again. He said even Foley, his idol, has been alienated by him. He said nobody cares about him and even his mother didn't love him. "You're nothing but an annoyance, a cross for her to bare," he said. Lauren walked out and frantically tried to talk Abyss into leaving the ring as if he was standing on train tracks with a train coming. As Abyss stepped out of the ring, Stevie called Lauren a "twenty dollar a night street walker." Abyss turned to him and returned to the ring. He got in Stevie's face and asked what he said. Stevie repeated himself. Abyss lifted Stevie for a Black Hole Slam, but Daffney gave him a low blow from behind. Foley scraped the barbed wire baseball bat across his forehead, but Matt Morgan made a quick save.

-They went backstage to Jeremy Borash interviewing the Eric Young-led World Elite faction. Young declared his war with Main Event Mafia over and said they won decisively. He said he reached out in a show of good faith and helped them time after time, but they just showed them disrespect in return. He said last week was the last straw. He said he will return fire at them time and time again if they continue to stick their noses in their business. Borash asked about a rumor that he'll be facing Hernandez at Bound for Glory. Young said Hernandez is dead to him because he thought he was his brother and deserved greatness. He said he is dead to him and will never face him one-on-one. He closed with, "Welcome to our world."

-A commercial plugged TNA Global Impact following this show.

[Q2] [c]

-Borash interviewed the Kurt Angle-led Main Event Mafia. Borash said the World Elite declared themselves the new dominant force. Angle didn't like what he said and then grabbed Borash by his lapels and said nobody declares victory over them. He told the rest of MEM that he is putting a $30,000 hit on Young.

1 -- KEVIN NASH vs. HERNANDEZ -- Legend's Title

Why is there still a Legend's Title? And what's it's point, from an official standpoint? If anyone can fight for it, it's not, say 35-and-over or 40-and-over. Could a rookie win it? It's just one of those dangling questions that TNA can't answer but many viewers ask themselves when this extraneous belt is carried around and defended. Nash opened up with his signature elbows and knees in the corner. A minute in, Hernandez whipped Nash into the ringpost to take over control. Hernandez dropped Nash with a slingshot shoulder block. Young then ran to the ring and clipped Hernandez from behind and stomped on him. He followed with a piledriver. Young then handed Nash his Legend's Title and told him, "You owe me."

WINNER: Hernandez via DQ in 2:00.

-Abyss caught up to Morgan backstage and thanked him. He said he wanted to make one thing clear - he didn't ask for or want this match any more than he does, so he asked if he can trust him tonight for one night only. Morgan told him that for tonight and tonight only, they'll be a tag team, but this is not going to lead to the road they know so well where they're best friends and a tag team "and all that crap." Morgan vowed to take care of Angle if he takes care of Foley. Morgan yelled at him to focus. Abyss said he better have his back. Morgan said he didn't need to ask. Abyss laughed and said neither does he. [c]

[Q3]

-Backstage, Nash crossed paths with Young backstage. He asked him if after what happened last week it's wise to be near him. Young said Angle may have put a hit out on his head for 30K, but what will stop him from collecting is his offer of double. He said he has a singles match against Hernandez at Bound for Glory, and he wanted it to be a three-way Legends Title match. He said TNA would jump at the chance for a match like that, and they can work together to take Hernandez out, and Nash can keep his belt. Nash shook Young's hand and said he speaks his language.

-Lauren was backstage updating Hernandez's condition. He jumped up from being treated by medics and vowed revenge on Young. He said it'll be the last time he screws him out of a chance at a title.

2 -- SAMOA JOE vs. AMAZING RED -- X Division Title match

Joe dominated at the start. Bobby Lashley walked out and distracted Joe. Red then recovered and attacked Joe with some rapid-fire kicks. When he charged Joe in the corner, Joe caught him and slammed him to the mat. He then kicked Red repeatedly in the corner. Taz said, "The games are done." Joe again turned to Lashley at ringside and complained about his presence. Joe wanted Lashley in the match. The ref actually agreed and welcomed Lashley into the ring. They exchanged punches. Lashley gave Joe a full nelson slam, then walked out. Red then hit his top rope twisting splash followed by a moonsault for the win. They showed Lashley's one facial expression on the rampway, a partial smile of the mouth while the eyes don't change, which signaled he was happy.

WINNER: Amazing Red in 3:00. Red gains nothing from that win. He's a fluke champion. Sure, Joe did it to himself by calling Lashley into the ring, but it's again booking that's trying to be too clever and undercuts everything good booking accomplishes. Joe looks foolish and Red seems like a fluke champion. On the brightest side of things, fans take satisfaction in Joe acting foolish and fans take satisfaction in Red seizing an opportunity to take advantage of Joe's foolishness or cockiness or temper. But in the end, I'd argue it hurts both people involved in the match. [c]

-Lauren interviewed Samoa Joe, who did one of his YELLING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS promos that probably makes more people want to turn the channel than pay to see him wrestle again. He also doesn't "show ass," as they say, as a heel. He basically cuts an overly intense babyface revenge promo rather than a heel promo when he does that. He instead needs to give off a sense of being humiliated and being a baby about it, not just being enraged, in order to get fans to laugh at him. If the goal is for fans to fear him, well, nobody fears someone who costs himself foolishly a title and then gets mad about it. They pity him or think he's an idiot with a temper or judgment issue, but respect for him is lost.

3 -- JULIO DINERO & HOMICIDE vs. DANIELS & SUICIDE


Tenay apologized some of Homicide's rants on TV recently, saying apparently they were hardly PG-rated. He said he was fined. Tenay hyped next week's three-hour special Impact. After some ringside brawling, Daniels and Dinero settled into action in the ring. Homicide sort of broke up a pin attempt on Daniels by hitting him on the back almost after the three count. Homcide began throwing chairs around ringside. As Daniels turned his back on Dinero to watch Suicide and Homicide brawl at ringside, Dinero kneed him from behind and scored the pin.

WINNERS: Dinero & Homicide in 3:00.

[Q4]

-Angle asked Nash, sitting backstage yet again (as not to tower over everyone else), why Young is still walking. Nash said offered him double. Angle said they're family and he shouldn't have to offer him anything. Angle said he doesn't want Nash making side deals anymore and walked away. Nash said he thinks Angle should have at least offered him triple. [c]

-Tenay stood mid-ring with four tag teams who would compete in a ladder match for the TNA and IWGP tag team titles - Booker T & Scott Steiner, Team 3D, Beer Money, and the British Invasion. All four teams signed the contact as Tenay explained the rules. Booker yammered afterward, vowing to kick some ass. James Storm fired back. Then a four-way (eight-way) brawl broke out. Roode put a stunned Booker on a table and climbed a ladder. Sharmell came out and covered Booker. "Red Flag" Rob Terry knocked the ladder over. Steiner and Booker then doubled on Devon and slammed him through a table. The Mafia music played as they held the tag belts. The Brits jumped back into the ring and another brawl broke out. The Brits got the better of the situation and their music played and they held the belts. [c]

-Ring intros aired for the women's match.

[Q5]

4 -- ALICIA FLASH & TRACI & ANGELINA LOVE & MADISON RAYNE vs. TAYLOR WILDE & CHRISTY HEMME & HAMADA & SARITA

Traci eliminated Christy first at 1:00. At 4:00 it was down to The Beautiful People & Traci vs. Sarita. Sarita eliminated Traci at 5:00. Sarita eliminated Sky a minute later, leaving it one-on-one. Sarita scored a near fall with a small package on Rayne. Flash walked back out, complaining about being counted out. Lacey Von Erich then snuck to ringside. After Sarita gave Rayne a double-underhook suplex into a pin position, Lacey interfered with a chokeslam. The ref returned to the ring in time to count the pin on Sarita.

WINNER: Rayne in 7:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4

-Angle approached Foley in his office backstage. He asked him not to play games later in the main event. Foley said he's not in the mood to play games and let a second-rate knock-off take his place. Angle said he liked his attitude and left the room.

-They showed Sting walking backstage. [c]

-Backstage Abyss sat in the corner of the locker room and applauded as Morgan did push-ups. Abyss got very excited as Morgan yelled "Pain! Pain!" and shouted, "Mick! Mick!" Morgan smiled and said, "This just might work."

-Sting's ring intro took place. [c]

[Q6]

-Sting entered the ring and said A.J. Styles asking whether he was passing the torch or just didn't want it anymore made him think. Sting said it doesn't matter if you're 20 or 50 years old, you'll want to bring your best. He said sometimes his best wasn't good enough, but he's always brought hisbest. He said he spontaneous challenge was to accept his challenge because he still has the will to win and the desire to compete runs through his veins. He said at Bound for Glory he's going to bring his best with the intent of getting the job done. He said if he doesn't live up to his own expectations, it'll be Showtime for the last time. That was one of Sting's more convincing promos in his career. He's peaking on the mic late, but it's good to see him keep getting better on the mic.

Angle walked out as Sting's music was playing and said maybe Sting should have retired because he and A.J. "pulled off that scam" at No Surrender. He said after Matt Morgan screwed him, he literally handed Styles the TNA Title, and Styles rewarded him with the TNA Title match at Bound for Glory. Angle said he wants his rematch and title shot. He said he's not just going to go away after Styles gave Sting the first title shot. He said in order to be the very best of all time, he has to beat him 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring one-on-one. He said the whole world knows that. He asked Sting to do everyone a favor and retire before Bound for Glory "so the real champion can step up to the main event instead of a washed up has-been."

Sting asked Angle if he wants him to retire? He challenged him to retire him right there. "Put the old man out of his misery," Sting said. "Go ahead! Do it!" He shoved Kurt. They had a staredown. Security ran in and separated them. Taz said maybe Angle is right that Sting and A.J. are in cahoots. As Sting turned to leave the ring, Angle charged into the ring and applied an anklelock. Styles ran in and made the save. Angle stood at ringside and said Sting can have Styles at Bound for Glory because he's busy that week, but he's free next week on Impact. Styles accepted the challenge. Angle smiled as Styles said they'd settle it one way or another. Taz questioned the wisdom of doing that three days before Bound for Glory. [c]

-Lauren asked Styles backstage if it was wise to accept a challenge to face Angle on next week's Super Impact. Styles said he has a lot to prove considering people are saying Sting handed him the World Title on a silver platter. He said next week they settle it once and for all.

-They went to Tenay and Taz at ringside. They hyped the Bound for Glory line-up. Cool video package with each wrestler appearing on banners dropping like championship banners in the rafters of an arena. They're billing Lashley vs. Joe as "MMA vs. TNA." They're billing Angle vs. Morgan as "Wrestling's Best vs. Wrestling's Future."

-They showed Joe kicking things around backstage, acting like a temperamental toddler who again was his own worst enemy.

[Q7] [c]

-Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley stepped onto the stage. Sabin said they've listened to the fans and Foley and even threw up in their mouths listening to their entrance music. Shelley introduced the new theme song. After it played for about 20 seconds, Joe attacked them from behind and stormed to the ring, almost slipping on the steps as he entered the ring. He then yelled at the top of his lungs again. He said if Bobby wants to start a war, that war is waiting for him in the middle of the ring. Lashley's music played and he walked out with a determined look. Joe met him on the ramp and they brawled. I can't wait until Bound for Glory when I can see these two finally fight. Oh wait... Joe bashed Lashley in the gut with a chair. Lashley fought back as Taz said, "There are no chairs in MMA." How do they draw those record buyrates without chairs? Joe beat down Lashley, set him on a table, and dropped a flying elbow on him, knocking Lashley to the floor. Joe sold pain in his elbow. [c]

-They replayed Joe elbowing Lashley, then cut to medics working on Lashley backstage. He showed his one facial expression, which in this case was to be interpreted as wincing.

-Ring intros took place for ODB vs. Tara.

[Q8]

5 -- ODB vs. TARA

A fan held up a creative sign which was a big spider web with the words, "Be Tara Fied." Tenay and Taz pushed Global Impact and then next week's Super Impact. Awesome Kong came to ringside with the ultimate gimmick infringement - a sledge hammer. She threatened to swing the sledgehammer on the box with the tarantula in it. Tara turned and kicked Kong through the ropes. ODB, though, caught Tara from behind with her finisher for the win - in other words, basically the same finish as matches one, two, and four.

WINNER: ODB in 3:00. [c]

6 -- MICK FOLEY & KURT ANGLE vs. MATT MORGAN & ABYSS

As Foley walked out, Dr. Stevie and a regular referee argued over who would be referee. They made the point that Stevie will referee at Bound for Glory, but not tonight. Abyss and Foley opened against each other, but then Foley tagged out before contact. Abyss charged Angle in the corner and signaled for the Black Hole Slam. Angle turned it into an Anklelock. Foley then stood on the ring apron with a barbed wire baseball bat. Abyss got up and had six sides of the ropes he could have bounced against, but he happened to leap right toward Foley and the baseball bat. Foley hit him with it, then tagged in. Angle tagged in at 5:00 and went for an Olympic Slam, but Abyss blocked it and gave Angle his Shock Treatment backbreaker move. Abyss crawled over and hot-tagged Morgan just as Foley entered the ring. Morgan knocked both heels down, then gave Angle two clotheslines and his side slam. Foley hit a celebrating Morgan from behind. Morgan fired back with a discus clothesline for a two count. Abyss clotheslined Angle over the top rope. Morgan then set up a chokeslam on Foley. Foley blocked it and pulled out the sock. Abyss, though, brought the barbed wire baseball bat into the ring. Morgan hit a distracted Foley with a Carbon Footprint finisher for the win.

WINNERS: Morgan & Abyss in 6:00.

STAR RATING: *3/4

QUOTEBOOK

Abyss: "I am hardcore and you just used to be. You're the cheap knockoff, Mick. You know why you're a cheap knockoff, Mick? Because you're only half the man you used to be."

Mike Tenay: "Don't miss TNA Knockouts Velvet Sky, SoCal Val, and Lauren on the cover of this month's Muscle & Fitness magazine."

Taz in response: "Wasn't Vince on the cover of that?"

Mike Tenay with a voice-cracking response: "Russo?!?"

Kurt Angle to Mick Foley: "So just promise me, Mick, no games. No Have a Nice Day. No thumbs up. No bang bang. No socks. No cheap shots."

Mick Foley: "Did it look like I was playing games two weeks ago when I left Abyss swimming in a pool of his own blood. Not unless the game at hand was the 100 meter plasma medley, Kurt. I'm not in the mood for games."

Kurt Angle: "Maybe we should change the name of Impact to 'The View,' so you and A.J. can kiss each other's asses the whole two hours."

Chris Sabin: "We've listened to the fans, listened to Mick Foley, and listened to our entrance music and puked a little in our mouths, so beginning right here, right now we're going to begin to do things Machine Gun style."

Alex Shelley: "I have it on good authority that that entrance music you just heard is what made Consequences Creed throw up last week on Impact."

Taz: "ODB has that thick upper pectoral region, a lot of power up there."

[Abyss art credit Neal Obermeyer (c) PWTorch]

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