by Greg Parks, PWTorch.com Contributor

WWE Raw review
October 5, 2009
Live from Wilkes-Barre, Pa.
Aired on USA Network

(Just got back from night class so I missed the opening few seconds- turned it on just as Ben Roethlisberger was introduced. I’ll be here for Raw tonight and ECW tomorrow because of James Caldwell’s nuptials. Congrats James!).

-Ben Roethlisberger was introduced as guest GM. He wore a t-shirt with “CASH” on the front. He acknowledged the Eagles fans in the crowd and seemed to be a natural on the mic. He kicked things off immediately with the “Divas Bowl.” The divas, from all three brands, came out wearing Steelers half-uniforms. Well, the faces anyway. The heels had generic uniforms. And the Monday Night Football theme was playing throughout. The referee is Gail Kim.

1- DIVAS BOWL- 16 DIVA TAG MATCH

Jerseys included those of James Harrison, Hines Ward, Ben Roethlisberger. All sixteen women started off like they were attacking each other at the line of scrimmage. Then Kim blew her whistle and got everyone separated. “Too many divas on the field” said Michael Cole. Rosa Mendes got knocked to the mat immediately, so she tagged out to Alicia Fox. Alicia and Mickie James renewed their rivalry. Headscissors, then a neck-breaker from Mickie. Eve came in and got bronco bustered by Jillian. They traded coming in and out with no tags until everyone had been in. Double dropkick by the Bellas, Michelle McCool with the big boot on Melina, then Mickie DDT’d McCool. She then went back to the legal woman (as if that matters at this point), and landed a victor roll on Fox for the win.

WINNERS: The Faces, at 3:03. Inconsequential.

Randy Orton’s music interrupted the celebration. He.....slowly.....came.....to......the......ring. Justin Roberts introduced him as he made his way to the ring. Yes, a perfect time for a commercial.

[Commercial Break]

-Orton was finally in the ring, no Divas in sight. Thank God; that could’ve been ugly. Orton told everyone he beat John Cena last night at Hell in a Cell. Orton claimed he didn’t cheat at all or use back-up last night. He said he beat Cena last night, end of story. Orton anticipated Cena coming out and asking for a re-match. He invited Cena to come out, because he said he knew exactly how he’d respond to Cena. Cena did, in fact, come out. No worse for wear, I might add. Orton yelled that Cena wouldn’t get a re-match for the title tonight. Cena said Orton just told the WWE Universe he doesn’t give a damn about them. So? Why would Orton care? Cena congratulated Orton on his win (boos for that), and said he walked in as champion and out as champion. Huh? There was something special about their Hell in a Cell match last night, Cena claimed. Cena said 60,000 of the WWE Universe was on their feet. I hope I mis-heard him and he said 16,000.

Cena said the rivalry between him and Orton is the one the fans know the result of the match will be amazing. Except when Orton gets himself DQ’d. Cena proposed one more match. An Iron-Man match. Please God, no. Cena said after this match, there will be no re-matches, no second chances. It’ll be that epic. Hypothetically, if Cena wins, Orton wouldn’t get a re-match Randy said, so why would he agree to that? Instead, Orton suggested a match on his terms. Cena wins, he gets the title, Orton wins, Cena is gone from Raw for good. Cena OK’d it. Orton continued with his terms: No-DQ, no count-out. Cena went into over-hype mode as Orton told him take it, or leave it. Cena still wanted 60 minutes, but agreed to the rest. They shook on it. Yeah, because that’s exactly what this feud needed: Not just another match, an hour-long match. At least they seemed to have an end-game for this feud in mind.

[Commercial Break]

-Jack Swagger came out for a match and since he looks and smells like a winner, therefore, is a winner. He promised not to lose from here on out, the rest of the year. It’s never good when a heel makes that promise. Not his best mic work.

2- JACK SWAGGER vs. PRIMO

Hey, Primo got Aldo Montoya’s spinny fireworks things! Swagger set out to out-wrestle Primo, but he hit a flying head-scissors to take Swagger down. That didn’t seem to faze the big man. He did his trademark push-ups. Swagger pounded away at the chest area of Primo. Belly-to-belly throw garnered Swagger a two-count. He then applied a bear-hug. Roll-up by Primo after a missed charge. Primo sloppily fought out of the corner, then dropkicked him for two. Springboard, but Swagger kicked him right in the mid-section. Gutwrench powerbomb, and the pin was academic.

WINNER: Swagger, at 3:25. Well, at least it’s an angle for Swagger.

-Big Show and Chris Jericho were chatting it up backstage. No audio for it, but they’ll be out at some point tonight.

[Commercial Break]

-The ladies from the opening match were all arguing backstage. Santino Marella cam in and issued a penalty, dressed as a ref, and echoing his voice like he’s in a stadium. He said no one likes to see Divas fighting each other. Santino told Mickie she and Alicia should kiss and make up. Fox said she had a better idea, and slapped Santino. Mickie shoved her and everyone started fighting again as Santino made it out of the brawl and ran away.

-Cole and Jerry Lawler talked on camera about Bragging Rights and said Cena vs. Orton would be on the PPV. Also, the Smackdown winners would face the Raw winners in a tag match at the end of the night.

-Ben Roethlisberger was in his office backstage talking to a stage-hand, when The Miz interrupted. He asked Ben if he heard what Swagger said out there. He called Swagger a loser, then Ben asked what happened. Miz admitted he got pinned last night. He proclaimed his awesomeness and said it’s a seven-day-a-week job. He asked for a U.S. Title match and Ben granted it. Miz thanked him and said he’s doing a great job. Big Ben said there’s one stipulation: If he loses, he has to grab the mic after the match and let the fans know: “I’m The Miz: And I’m Awful.” Miz said nothing as he walked away.

[Commercial Break]

3- CHRIS MASTERS & CHAVO GUERRERO vs. MARK HENRY & MVP

Henry took it to Masters early on, but appeared to hurt his knee on a splash. He tagged out to MVP. Chavo also tagged in and had his way with Montel Vontavious Porter. Chavo dropkicked Henry’s knee while he was on the apron, taking him out of the picture for the time being. MVP took Chavo to the mat and landed the “Ballin’!” elbowdrop and Masters tried to interfere, but was subdued by Henry. Pin and the three-count.

WINNERS: MVP & Henry, at 2:59. Ending came out of nowhere.

After the match, Masters had some unfriendly words with Chavo. Masters stuck his finger in Chavo’s face and Chavo returned the favor. Masters kicked Chavo in the gut and applied the Masterlock, but Hornswoggle made the save by biting Masters’ thigh. Chavo then came back and hit a DDT when Masters was distracted by the little man. Hornswoggle then jumped up and down doing the crotch chop at Chavo. Uh...OK.

-Guest host Ben Roethlisberger was walking backstage. He’s headed to the ring- are we going to see his O-Line tonight or what?

[Commercial Break]

-Roethlisberger came out again. This time, he went to the ring. He asked the fans if they were having fun tonight. As he tried to get the fans to cheer again, Big Show and Jericho’s music hit and they came out. Show told Roethlisberger not to get defensive as Show asked why they call him, “Big Ben.” Show wondered how big his O-Line could be compared to someone like him. Jericho chimed in, saying he bets they’re not as big as him. Roethlisberger then called out his linemen. Darnell Stapleton, Willie Colon, Trai Essex, Max Starks, Chris Kemoeatu, Justin Hartwig. One of’em even stepped over the top rope. Stapleton is injured but a starter, which is why there are six. Jericho made fun of them using big words and said they weren’t on a football field anymore; they’re in a wrestling ring. The linemen huddled up and took their positions across the ring in front of Ben. They lined up and Show was the only one of him and Jericho to crouch down. Ben called for a QB sneak and said they were coming right at Show, and at that point, he backed down. As they left the ring, DX’s music hit, and they came out.

The linemen seemed to like DX and they all made the hand/arm signal. Jericho and Show had already made their way up the ramp. He said a Sportscenter moment was ruined yet again by miscreants who want nothing more to do then plug their merchandise. Jericho did it for them, but sarcastically. “You suck” chants for Jericho. Triple H said he only came out to tell Jericho how nice his hair looks today. Jericho: “...really?” The Game: “No, your hair looks ridiculous.” Michaels talked about the agony he went through in Hell in a Cell last night. Michaels conceded that Jericho and Show have faced some great tag teams (they have?), but Michaels said they haven’t faced DX. HBK said his body was throbbing from head-to-toe, but yeah, it’s a challenge. Show told him to lick his wounds and come back another day. Jericho said they didn’t deserve to face Show and Jericho. Roethlisberger took the mic again and asked where Show and Jericho were going (they had started to walk up the ramp after Jericho’s spiel). He told the two “clowns” they’ll face DX tonight. And if they’re not down with that, he’s got two words for’em. DX and all the linemen and Ben did the crotch chop in the ring. All that jumping around the ring could knock something loose, they better be careful. They even posed for a picture before they went to break. And for what it’s worth, this aired just before Halftime of the MNF game.

-Next, The Miz faces Kofi Kingston for the U.S. Title.

[Commercial Break]

-Cole plugged WWE.com’s coverage of Hell in a Cell.

-Lawler also thanked Skillet for allowing them to use “Monster” as the HIAC theme. Skillet was also at ringside!

-They showed Ben introducing the Diva Bowl to kick off Raw, then what happened just moments ago.

4- KOFI KINGSTON vs. THE MIZ- UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Miz got too aggressive and Kofi side-stepped him, sending Miz to the floor. The two jaw-jacked head-to-head and Miz headbutted Kingston. Kofi went for the Trouble In Paradise, but Miz held onto the ropes. Miz was rolled up for two and went to ringside afterward. Miz came back in and choked Kofi in the ropes. He missed a charge in the corner, and Kofi hopped onto him to do the punches in the corner. Kingston had to be restrained by the ref after put the boots (and fists) to Miz in the corner. He too got overly aggressive and it cost him as Miz knocked him to ringside. They took a break about 3:30 into the match.

[Commercial Break]

Miz had Kofi in a chin-lock out of break. Kingston gout out of it but Miz stayed on offense. Cole said if Miz got fired for not saying “I’m awful,” he could get a job down the road at Dunder Mifflin (from TV’s “The Office,” located in Scranton). Except he struggled and stumbled getting “Dunder” out and he even admitted he blew that joke. Lawler covered by saying he must have been watching The Office lately. Hey, a reference that isn’t 20 years old! Anyway, Kingston hit Trouble in Paradise, but Miz rolled out of the ring. Kingston put him back in the ring but couldn’t get the three count. Why didn’t he just take the count-out win? The Boom drop landed, but Miz grabbed the bottom rope to break up the pin. Kingston with a back-slide for two. The two pelted each other with rights until Kofi hit a flying forearm. High cross-body by Kingston, but Miz rolled through for two. S.O.S by Kingston for two, again. Kofi tried to jump to the middle rope, but slipped and fell. Miz took advantage with the Skull Crushing Finale for the win and the title.

WINNER: Miz, at 10:44. Good match, especially when things started heating up late. Cole acknowledged that this was Miz’s first major singles title.

Miz got the mic after the match and told everyone they were looking at the new U.S. Champion. Because he’s The Miz and he’s awesome. Fans said “awful” when he paused there, in a nice touch.

-Cole reminded fans that, for the first time ever, DX would face Jericho and Big Show.

[Commercial Break]

-Cole and Lawler discussed tonight’s Raw, as well as the upcoming Bragging Rights PPV. They threw it to footage of Cena and Orton’s confrontation from earlier tonight.

-Hornswoggle talked to Big Ben backstage in semi-English. Santino in his ref’s outfit walked up. He was not happy about being mauled by the Divas and asked Ben to do something about it. Marella kept mis-pronouncing Ben’s name. Hornswoggle slapped him and he got it right. Then he shook his hand and welcomed Ben to Raw. I guess the slap set him straight.

-Big Show and Jericho were walking backstage- they’re heading to the ring for their match, which is next.

[Commercial Break]

-Access Hollywood’s Nancy O’Dell and Maria Menounos will be duel guest hosts next week. For some reason, whenever I picture Nancy O’Dell, I imagine Mary Hart from the old Entertainment Tonight. And Nancy O’Dell is most certainly NOT Mary Hart.

5- CHRIS JERICHO & THE BIG SHOW vs. SHAWN MICHAELS & TRIPLE H

These guys shouldn’t be wrestling a day after HIAC. Well maybe Triple H can since he didn’t do much, but Michaels shouldn’t. Triple H and Jericho began the match. Loud “Triple H” chants by the fans. When Michaels tagged in, fans chanted “HBK.” No questions about where their allegiances lie. Jericho got the better of Michaels long enough to tag Big Show. Michaels was selling the back injury from last night a bit. Triple H tagged in and he stared at Big Show from the apron for quite some time. He was about to enter the ring as they went to break about 2:30 in.

[Commercial Break]

Show had Triple H in a waist-lock as Jericho was imploring the DX member to give up from ringside. Show whipped Triple H into the corner and then splashed him there. A tag to Jericho and he got some offense in between the trash talk. The Game battled back, but ran into a Jericho boot in the corner. Missile dropkick into a cover from Y2J for two. Jericho missed at attempt to jump on Hunter’s back with his throat across the middle rope. Michaels tagged in and did well at first, but a hard whip to the buckle changed that. Big legdrop from the newly-legal man Big Show. Show did a number on Michaels’ back, but HBK tried to fight back against Jericho. Jericho applied the Walls to work more on Shawn’s back. He was in the middle of the ring too. He got close to tagging Hunter, but Jericho then pulled him further away. Michaels got close again but was pulled away and this time, Triple H interfered to break the hold. Both men were down at this point. Jericho made the tag as Michaels tried to get to his feet in a neutral corner. HBK got the foot up on a couple charges, then dropkicked Show’s knee. Shawn finally made the tag. He worked over Jericho, who tagged in, including all of his signature knee-related moves. Pedigree, but Show grabbed both his and Michaels’ throat. Instead, DX tried a suplex, but Show suplexed them both. Show ended up getting tossed to the outside while Jericho rolled Triple H up for two. Show was thrown into the ring post at ringside, then thrown into the timekeeper’s bay. It was two-on-one with Jericho at this point. Jericho figured the odds were not in his favor, so he left the ring. But as he was heading up the ramp, Ben Roethlisberger and his O-Line, all in DX gear, cut off Jericho’s escape. DX was behind him and they grabbed him and threw him back into the ring. He got Superkicked and Hunter pinned him.

WINNERS: DX, at 18:28. Fine match. Cole proclaimed Raw “the greatest show in the history of cable television.”

The Steelers celebrated with DX as the show went off the air.

We suggest these recent related articles...

PARKS'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 10/8: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Thursday show, including Roman Reigns & Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt & Braun Strowman

METZGER'S ROH TV REPORT 10/4 & 10/7: IWGP World champ Okada vs. Roderick Strong main event, plus Briscoes vs. Time Splitters, more from "Field of Honor," Overall Reax

MCMAHON'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 10/7: TNA Title Series kicks off, Bound for Glory fall-out, more; Overall Reax