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PARKS' WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 10/2: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of the Decade of Smackdown celebration

Oct 2, 2009 - 9:00:55 PM
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by Greg Parks, PWTorch.com Contributor

WWE Smackdown review
October 2, 2009
Taped 9/29/09 in Boston, Mass.
Aired on MyNetwork TV



-WWE Open.

-The show opened with a calvalcade of highlights from Smackdown over the past ten years including Eddie Guerrero and the WWE Title, The Rock, Triple H vs. The Governator, John Cena’s debut, Batista surrendering the World Title, WWE after 9/11, as well as some of the more humorous moments (Coach doing the Charleston, the poo spray, and Austin singing). It closed with a shot of the Undertaker.

-The new Smackdown Opening aired, including a new theme song.

-Jim Ross opened the show by welcoming us to the Decade of Smackdown celebration, and plugged the huge eight-man tag main event. He also said we’d hear from The Rock tonight.

-Ross and Todd Grisham were in the ring. Grish said every superstar from Raw, ECW and Smackdown are in the building. He sent it backstage, where the camera caught the superstars of WWE (and the Brooklyn Brawler) in a special room partying it up.

1- BATISTA vs. KANE

Smackdown moment #64 from the newly-released Smackdown DVD aired during Batista’s entrance. It was from November 2005, Rey and Batista vs. MNM. Ugh, Kane? This isn’t much of a step up from Batista vs. Big Show last week. Big uppercut from Kane out of the corner. Back elbow put Batista on the mat again, but Kane missed an elbowdrop. Kane suplexed his way out of a side headlock. Kane seemed to be centering in on the surgically-repaired left arm of Batista. On an overhead wrist-lock, Batista simply shoved Kane over the top rope and to the outside. Kane seemed surprised at the strength displayed by Batista.

[Commercial Break]

Kane was in control with an arm-bar out of break. Stereo big boots and both men went down. Batista was the one to get the advantage, with a flying shoulder tackle and a couple corner clotheslines. Kane came back and went to the top, coming down with a clothesline. He signaled that the chokeslam was next, but instead, Batista hit him with a spinebuster for two. He set up for the Batista Bomb, but Kane rammed him into the corner. Batista came down off the top and into a choke, but Batista countered. Kane went up to do the ten punches in the corner, but Batista powerbombed him out of the corner for the win.

WINNER: Batista, at 9:48. Unless I missed it, they didn’t really seem to hype this was Kane’s first pinfall loss on Smackdown, after talking it up the past two weeks. This was probably as good as it could be.

-Teddy Long was in high spirits backstage, thanking everyone coming one-by-one. Everyone was in their “normal” clothes. After Long thanked Maria for coming, Hornswoggle, the bartender, smacked her in the ass. “Vintage Hornswoggle!” Cole proclaimed. Long welcomed him back to Smackdown. Cole tried to get Long to try some drinks, as he had had several already. When Finlay talked to Long, Cole noted “Vintage Finlay!” Finlay then said a toast and everyone cheered. Before Long could drink, C.M. Punk’s arm extended to stop him. Then the camera panned back and Punk told him not to drink it. “Vintage Punk!” Cole yelled, before Punk stared him down. Punk said it should be Prohibition rules on Smackdown and he’ll show them in the main event why he can save them.

Long walked away and saw Vickie Guerrero. She asked why he repealed the Hell’s Gate and she said some people don’t have the backbone to run the show. Vickie’s hot new boyfriend, Eric Escobar, introduced himself to Long. Apparently, Mr. McMahon signed Escobar today and Vickie will be managing him. Long appeared surprised by this. A bell tolled and someone dressed as Taker put his hand on Long’s shoulder and said his name. He raised his head and it was Santino, who said it was a great costume party. Now THAT was a good segment: The comedy was actually funny and it accomplished a lot.

-Another plug for the eight-man main event.

-Up next, a celebration of Eddie Guerrero, one of Smackdown’s most notable stars.

[Commercial Break]

-Back to the party, as Cole and Finlay were sitting at a table. “Vintage shrimp said the drunken Cole. Cole told Hronswoggle to get him more of the shrimp. Get it? Hornswoggle kicked Cole in the knee. MVP allowed Horny into the VIP Lounge, but Zack Ryder was left standing on the outside. Mark Henry took a bribe from Ryder and said if there’s room he’ll be let in. Matt Hardy and Kelly Kelly came up and MVP and Henry allowed them both in. Oh, Eva, Alicia, Charlie Haas, Layla, Sgt. Slaughter and Savannah (ECW’s interview girl; Angela Fong from developmental) too. Even the Iron Sheik was allowed in! Sheik then called Ryder a jabroni. Lanny Poffo would not be happy with Sheik’s use of the word.

-Grisham and Ross talked briefly on camera about Eddie, who JR said would’ve loved this celebration. Then we got a video package highlighting Guerrero’s Smackdown moments. They showed clips of the ten-bell salute to Eddie after he passed away. They also had some vintage clips in there. Upon return, they showed the fans in the arena clapping for the tribute and chanting “Eddie.”

[Commercial Break]

-We’ll get a special message from The Rock later tonight.

-But right now, Jack Swagger joined Grisham and JR on the commentary team for the next match.

2- JOHN MORRISON & KOFI KINGSTON vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER & THE MIZ

Kingston seemed pissed at Kofi’s entrance and slammed the headset down. I guess that’s it for his commentary. And for what it’s worth, Justin Roberts was handling ring announcing for Smackdown this week as well. Morrison took out Miz to start with a dropsault and clothesline over the top. Ziggler tried to come in illegally and was chased out by Kingston. Match went to break less than one minute in.

[Commercial Break]

Kingston was having his way with Ziggler as Miz was getting frustrated at ringside. Swagger distracted Kofi, and Ziggler brought him down throat-first over the top rope. The southpaw Miz went to work on Kofi in th heel corner. He went to the top and came down with a double-axe handle (not seen much these days). Miz tried to do his catapult double-team move that he did with Morrison with Ziggler, but when Kofi came up, he punched Ziggler instead of the other way around. Ziggler ended up tagging Miz in and telling him to finish Kofi off. But instead, he missed a shoulder charge in the corner. Kingston and Miz both made tags, but Morrison got the best of the exchange. Standing shooting star press for two. Kofi went for the Flying Chuck, but he shoved Morrison, crotching him on the top, then hit the Zig Zag for the win.

WINNERS: Ziggler and Miz, at 8:44. Good match, thought the Zig Zag didn’t look good, and they didn’t really talk much (if at all) about Morrison and Miz being on opposite sides, but they had bigger things (the title matches) to get over in this match.

-At the party, Kung Fu Naki and Yoshi Tatsu were singing karaokee to “Sexy Boy.” Jillian Hall interrupted and gave her own version. Slaughter and Sheik had a “USA,” “Iran” debate. They just shouted it back and forth to each other ‘til Sheik was going to say “hack phooey” but started choking. Hurricane saved him. “Boomer Sooner” said Cole at one table, and he had a cowboy hat on while he sat with Finlay and Hornswoggle. Chris Jericho tried to get everyone’s attention and when he couldn’t, he made Big Show do it. Jericho reminded everyone that he and Show were both on the first episode of Smackdown. Jericho talked about getting shown the respect they deserved, but instead Cole threw up on his shoes (not shown). Jericho did a lame, over-done cartoon disgusted face and when Big Show saw it he threw up off camera too. Joey Styles was there, and said his “Oh My God!” line.

-The Rock is up next. Not in the arena, of course, but the effort counted for something.

[Commercial Break]

-Grisham plugged WWE.com and all it has to offer.

-Justin Roberts introduced The Rock on the video screen. He had a display case of title belts behind him. He said, “Apparently, Dwayne Johnson has returned to Friday nights.” That didn’t work, so he did another take. Still didn’t click for him. He tried a few more, but he just didn’t like them. He was searching for something and even at one time said, “who in the blue hell is Dolph Ziggler?” He remarked about them finally bringing his latte, and that did it. “Finally.” He then went in to full Rock mode, “Finally, The Rock has come back to Smackdown.” He said he was there when it all began thanks to his phrase, “laying the Smackdown on all your candy asses.” He even sang a few bars of “Smackdown Hotel.” Rock got the fans to chant his name again. Rock said ten years later, who is champ now? Some guy named C.M. Punk. He said Punk was straight edge and even sits down when he uses the bathroom and that we should call him B.M. Punk for “bowel movement,” since that’s what fans want to do when he comes out.

He then spoke about Punk’s opponent this Sunday, The Undertaker. He really put Taker over and even wanted to edit the tape so Taker wouldn’t Tombstone him. Rock brought in the director or whoever was working with him and argued with him, making fun of him a la The Coach. He snuck in a “It doesn’t matter what your name is!” In the end, he proclaimed there would be a new champion come Sunday. Rock even said since he has tried Smackdown, maybe it’s time for him to guest host Raw. He said he’d be the most electrifying host they’ve ever seen, and finished with his usual flourish. Well, after that, I hope they have him lined up as guest host, because he can’t taunt fans like that and not do it. He hasn’t lost his promo touch, that’s for sure. And good for him to agree to speak on this Smackdown.

-The eight-man tag is still to come tonight.

[Commercial Break]

-Just throwing this out there: Arnie Duncan looks a lot like Stevie Richards in that Education reform commercial.

3- MELINA vs. MICHELLE MCCOOL- LUMBERJACK MATCH FOR THE WOMEN’S TITLE

Eve Torres, Maria, Beth Phoenix, Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes, Katie Lea, Jillian Hall, Layla, Natalya, Savannah (but no Courtney Taylor?), The Bellas and Kelly Kelly were the Lumberjacks. Probably stupid to ask this on a show where they celebrate the 10th anniversary, but would it kill them to have hyped this up, even during the show? McCool started with the advantage, but it didn’t last for long. Melina did a split on the apron to avoid a punch, but then Michelle kicked her out. Before she let the ladies get a hold of her, McCool went out and brought Melina back in. Melina came back and hit a flap-jack on Michelle that got a two-count. Rough-looking clothesline by Melina. Apparently Jillian got involved as Melina jumped on the outside onto Jillian and another girl. Everyone on the outside started brawling and while the ref tried to restore order, Beth Phoenix nailed Melina while she was on the top, allowing Michelle to hit he Faith Breaker for the win.

WINNER: McCool, at 2:30. Disappointing hype and match. Just felt unimportant in the grand scheme of things; why wouldn’t you save this for a show that had little content, and could therefore seem like a bigger deal?

-They barely showed McCool celebrating retaining before throwing it to a video of Undertaker and his “special message” to Punk for this Sunday. Taker said he’d knock Punk off his high horse and welcomed Punk to Satan’s Playground, Hell in a Cell.

[Commercial Break]

-They showed the Boston skyline and Grisham thanked Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Smash-Ups, which sponsors Hell in a Cell.

-Everyone was dancing backstage when Drew McIntyre got on the mic. Oh no, he’s gonna ruin another party! Instead, he toasted to his impending Smackdown success. He said the party has just started. Then R-Truth ran in and attacked him, including ruining the Smackdown cake. Long ordered it to be broken-up from off-camera and Mike Knox and (I think) William Regal were among those to get involved to break up the row.

-Entrances for the main event took place. Justin Roberts billed this as the biggest eight-man tag in Smackdown history. You don’t hear the ring announcers editorialize like that usually. During Cena’s entrance, we saw Smackdown moment #100 rom April 2005, the debut of the new WWE Spinner Belt. Taker’s entrance was time to unveil Smackdown moment #32, from September 2008- Vickie being attacked by Taker. They took a break with all the faces in the ring. I wonder if they’ll mention Taker and HBK’s recent history?

[Commercial Break]

-Grisham plugged Ben Roethlisberger as the guest host of this week’s Raw.

4- SHAWN MICHAELS & TRIPLE H & JOHN CENA & THE UNDERTAKER vs. RANDY ORTON & TED DIBIASE & CODY RHODES & C.M. PUNK

Cena and Rhodes led things off, a match-up that we’ve seen on numerous Raw multi-man main event tags. Triple H punched Rhodes in the face, and Rhodes crawled to the corner to tag in his partner this Sunday. Hunter pummeled DiBiase in the corner, then brought HBK in to do some damage. It was all face team here in the first few minutes. Michaels extended a hand to tag Taker, but Taker paused to stare at Michaels, allowing DiBiase to take back over. Taker did tag in soon after, and the former Wrestlemania foes stared at each other in the ring as they went to break.

[Commercial Break]

Taker was in there with Rhodes out of break. He then tagged out to Hunter. Long standing vertical suplex, but not as long as Matt Morgan’s last night on Impact. DX continued to pwn Legacy in this match and as I type that, a flurry of rights from Rhodes put Michaels on the mat. Randy Orton and C.M. Punk made their first appearances of the match, one right after the other. Michaels and Orton both ended up on the mat- Cody tagged in and an enziguiri by Michaels gave him some time to tag, and he did, to Cena. Cena had to fight off both Legacy members, and put both of them on his back for an Attitude Adjustment. But Rhodes got down and the two heels gave him the Sweet ‘n’ Sour, which is at the point they took the final break.

[Commercial Break]


Back with Punk and Cena engaged in battle. Orton came in and seemed to have his way with Cena, ‘til Cena got him in the Atttiude Adjustment out of nowhere, but couldn’t connect, as Orton DDT’d him. DiBiase made his presence known as the legal man with a kick to a seated Cena’s head. But Cena got the better of him and both men made tags, to Punk and Hunter. Patented spinebuster by The Game. Taker tagged in, but Punk dove to tag Orton. Snake Eyes, ironically, to the Viper Orton. Back-breaker by Orton, but he got caught in Hell’s Gate, only briefly, as DiBiase broke it up. Everybody started brawling at that point, as Michaels superkicked DiBiase and Hunter Pedigreed him. Cena got Punk up for the Attitude Adjustment and tossed him onto Legacy at ringside. All four faces were in the ring with the lone heel, Orton. Taker, the legal man, Tombstoned Orton. Mike Chioda didn’t seem worried that all four of the men were still in the ring while he made his count.

WINNERS: Taker, Hunter, HBK and Cena, at 21:39. Roberts pulled a Lilian and announced Undertaker as the winner, as if it was a one-on-one match.

Confetti fell from the ceiling as all the faces celebrated with their music playing for about 30-45 second spurts, before it went to another face’s music. Naturally, it ended with Undertaker.

Greg Parks has been covering Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. You can also read his frequently updated blog in the VIP forum. Check out his column each week in the PDF-exclusive version of the Torch Newsletter. Also, check out his Tuesday chats with James Caldwell each Tuesday afternoon on the Torch. Comments, questions and feedback are welcome, and can be sent to g_man9784@yahoo.com.


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