WWE Superstars TV Report
September 24, 2009 - Week 24
Taped the Week of September 21
Report by James Caldwell, Torch assistant editor

The WWE show started with Chris Masters. And Michael Cole's voice. And Masters flexing on stage. Welcome to Thursday night. They cut to a shot of Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole as they talked up Masters's muscle composition. Cole seemed to lose his words. Primo then came out to face Masters and the action quickly started.

1 -- CHRIS MASTERS vs. PRIMO COLON

Back-and-forth early on, then Masters blasted Carlito with a left-arm lariat. Nice piece of sound sweetening on the contact ala the Dallas Mavericks's American Airlines Center on free throws to enhance Masters's move. Masters then went to work on Primo with a methodical attack before airballing on a leg drop. Primo made his comeback, but Masters reversed a whip to the ropes and sent Primo crashing into the turnbuckles. Masters called for the Masterlock, but Carlito kicked him in the gut and landed a kneelift before landing a series of left arm lariats that led to a spinning elbow smash taking Masters off his feet. Primo followed with a missile dropkick for a two count only. They went to the finishing sequence where Masters attempted the Masterlock after blocking a cross body splash, but Carlito slipped into a victory roll for the quick pin and the win. Carlito was shocked he won the match post-match while Masters had his usual look of frustration losing yet another match.

WINNER: Primo in 6:00. Very nice finishing sequence. Fluid and told a good story of Masters being just a step slow compared to his faster opponents on WWE TV. Neither man seems to be going anywhere overall, but this was good. (**)

Backstage: They showed Sir William leading Ezekiel and Kozlov down the hallway for ECW's offering on the other side of the break.

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Goldust came out first for the ECW offering tonight. Always nice when ECW actually hyped their Superstars offering on ECW TV two days earlier. William Regal then came out with ZekeLov for the match-up. A little old school WCW here with Lord Steven Regal facing "The Natural" Dustin Rhodes. Let's go back to January 1994 when WCW TV champ Regal went to a draw against Rhodes for the belt. Watch the match here. 15 years later, I say pick up an ECW TV Title feud with the introduction of a mid-card belt on the ECW brand.

2 -- WILLIAM REGAL (w/Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson) vs. GOLDUST

Goldust started with the early advantage working Regal's left arm, then Regal went to work on Goldy's arm. Goldust made a comeback a minute later, then out of nowhere, Jackson interfered against Goldust and the ref caught it for a DQ.

Afterward, Regal sneered at Goldust and his henchmen laid him out. Regal then put Goldust in the Regal Stretch. Suddenly, ECW babyfaces stormed the ring including ECW champ Christian, Yoshi Tatsu, and Tommy Dreamer. After a brief battle, Goldust finally cleared the Roundtable out of the ring. Christian, Yoshi, Dreamer, and Goldust stood tall in the ring as Regal's group retreated on the floor.

WINNER: Goldust via DQ in 4:00. I liked this on all fronts. Regal vs. Goldust didn't need a finish here, as there's a program to be had on ECW TV that could be similar to Goldust vs. Sheamus. Also, it was good to see Yoshi included with the big kids to give him a little rub being in the same camera shot as the brand's champion. This was good. (*1/4)

[Commercial Break]

Announcers: Jim Ross and Todd Grisham have the rest of the show tonight for the Smackdown brand. They started by plugging Batista vs. Big Show on Smackdown this Friday night.

In-ring: Women's champ Michelle McCool and Layla came to the ring first for divas action. They were dressed in various shades of blue. Maria then came out alone before Melina completed the intros.

3 -- Women's champion MICHELLE McCOOL & LAYLA vs. MELINA & MARIA

McCool and Melina picked up their feud to start, then Maria tagged in and was cheap-shotted from behind, leading to McCool and Layla working over Dolph's gal pal. Maria teased a hot tag, but then walked into a big boot to the jaw from McCool behind the ref's back. Layla then made the easy cover on Maria for the pin and the win. Afterward, McCool and Layla celebrated while Maria motioned she didn't want any of Melina's sympathy.

WINNERS: McCool & Layla in 3:00. Standard divas match. Storyline reinforcement was good, though. (*)

[Commercial Break]

Announcers: Grisham and Ross set up a video package on last week's Smackdown to show Teddy Long taking a long ride in the Undertaker limo after admitting he screwed Taker. He simply did not adhere to the time-honored tradition of not using a submission hold in a submission match. Taker screwed Taker. Jim Ross posed some more pressing questions on his WWE blog: "At least Teddy had his seat belt 'buckled up.' But what about a change of underwear?! Bathroom break??" Chances are we aren't getting answers to any questions in this program.

In-ring: From a shot of Taker taking Teddy away in the limo to Matt Hardy coming to the ring for the Superstars main event against Taker's storyline brother. One kid in the stands was shown going nuts for Hardy. Hardy had a different look tonight without the 1800s jacket and a cut-off Hardys t-shirt instead. That's an upgrade. Hardy has Kane next.

[Commercial Break]

In-ring:

4 -- MATT HARDY vs. KANE

Kane was quickly in control as Grisham talked about Hardy's World Title/main event aspirations. No mentions of Jeff Hardy, who kind of has that "Jeff who?" label on WWE TV now. Plausible explanation is they don't want to draw attention to Jeff and take away from the remaining Hardy on the roster. Matt was in control going to the break.

[Commercial Break]

Back from break, Kane was on the attack going to work on Matt with hard stomps and kicks. Hardy made a comeback at 10:00 and hit a top rope bulldog for a two count. Crowd interest escalating to its peak as the wrestlers are picking up the pace. Nice match developing here as Kane elbowed out of the side effect and tried a powerslam, but Hardy hit a DDT instead. The action moved to the corner where Hardy landed successive right hands, but Kane put up his fists to block. Kane then crotched Hardy across the top rope. Ref warned him. Kane then yanked him up in the air and back down across the top rope crotch-first a second time and the ref called for a DQ. That might be a first.

Post-match: Kane landed a third one just for the heck of it. Ross said Kane is "going home with the loser's share of the purse," which was just a Ross euphemism for him taking a loss because WWE never says whether wrestlers gain or lose money depending on a win or loss. Really wish they would because it would give these D-Show matches a sense of purpose beyond just reinforcement matches. Anyways, the post-match ended with Kane giving Hardy a chokeslam center ring to leave the elder Hardy Brother out cold center ring. Kane left the ring with his music playing despite taking the loss (adding insult to injury) and the show closed with a shot of him doing his evil laugh in the dark.

WINNER: Hardy via DQ in 12:00. Okay singles match. Kane is limited on what he can do in the ring, but he's still making a good living with his recognizable character and memorable traits that WWE has reinforced over the years. Hardy was fine, but he's still getting his bearings back in the ring. Unsatisfying end to the show after the acceptable DQ in the other top singles match of the show between Regal and Goldust. The DQ in the ECW match seemed to have a purpose, whereas this seemed like WWE trying to protect two wrestlers on the mid-card. (*3/4)

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