by Greg Parks, PWTorch.com Contributor

WWE Smackdown review
September 18, 2009
Taped 9/15/09 in Hamilton, Ontario, Can.
Aired on MyNetwork TV


-WWE Open.

-They showed highlights of the Punk vs. Undertaker match from Breaking Point and, strangely, with a voice-over man describing things. Isn’t that usually saved for commercials?

-A limo slowly drove into the building backstage. Teddy Long got out the back and looked around nervously. He waved someone over- a team of security. They surrounded Long as he instructed them to stay close to him. They continued to walk with Long the rest of the way.

-Smackdown Open.

-Justin Roberts introduced the newest member of the Smackdown roster, Batista. During his entrance, they showed him attacking Randy Orton this past Monday on Raw. Batista said his contract with Raw expired, allowing him to choose where he wanted to be for the first time in his career. He called Smackdown the “A” show. He said he couldn’t wait to get started. Well, I guess Chris Jericho is looking to speed up that process, because his music interrupted and Jericho walked out.

Jericho sarcastically said it was heartwarming that Batista was back, and welcomed him to the show. Jericho offered his thoughts about Batista being back: He makes him sick. Quite blunt of him. Jericho compared Batista to “that other injury-prone loser, Edge.” Chris told Batista that he was the true face of Smackdown, not the Animal. He said a lot has changed since Batista has been gone and he said he’s now the man of the show. Batista said that he was always told, “to be the man, you’ve got to beat the man.” He told Jericho the two of them would get a chance to catch up, because tonight, Jericho faces Batista in the ring. He then gave Jericho a spinebuster to end the segment. An unusually short 10-minute opening segment, not that I’m complaining. They showed a replay of what literally just happened. I guess that just cements its importance.

-JR and Todd Grisham talked on-camera about what we just saw.

-Jerich stormed backstage and into Big Show’s locker room. He was none too happy that Show didn’t help him, but Show reminded Jericho that he wanted to handle things by himself. Jericho said he’d show Big Show why he’s the best at what he does, and ordered Show to stay backstage during his match tonight.

-Tonight: An interview with Scott Armstrong, the referee in the Punk vs. Taker match at Breaking Point. So much for the referees as just background noise.

[Commercial Break]

-They showed Dolph Ziggler sitting with Grisham and Ross, as he had joined the team for the next match during the break.

1- JOHN MORRISON vs. MIKE KNOX

Knox informed fans of “restless leg syndrome” this week. I think he made some sort of veiled threat to Morrison in there, but it was over my head. Knox was in control until a flip kick to the face by Morrison. Then another, similar kick followed. He low-bridged Knox, sending the big man to ringside. Morrison hit a springboard moonsault on Knox, landing on his feet in the end in a very smooth-looking move. They went to break about 1:30 into the match.

[Commercial Break]

Knox had Morrison in a chin-lock out of break. Apparently, Knox had his way with Morrison during the break. Bicycle kick to the back of Morrison’s head for two. Knox settled into a back-breaker. Morrison turned an attempted back-breaker into a DDT. Morrison took out Knox’s knee with a low dropkick, then went upstairs with a kick to the face. A running knee to the chin followed. Standing shooting-star for two. Knox came back with a cross-body for a near-fall. It appeared he was going for the Knox-Out, when Morrison dodged it and hit Knox with a Flying Chuck Kick. Starship Pain for the win by Morrison.

WINNER: Morrison, at 7:55. I’m glad it was this competitive; I thought it’d be another Morrison vs. Haas match here.

Morrison grabbed the mic after the match and addressed Ziggler. He said he hoped he had a good time playing footsie with Todd Grisham. Morrison said Dolph is trying to make a name for himself, but the only name he’ll be hearing from the WWE Universe is “Mr. Ziggles.” Oh God, not this crap again. Of course, instead of acting like it didn’t bother him to get the fans to stop, he kept yelling, “that’s not my name!”

-JR and Grisham took us back to Breaking Point, with Punk locking in the Anaconda Vice and thereby winning the match. JR said Taker never submitted.

-Josh Mathews was backstage with Scott Armstrong, who even got chyron. Scott said what was asked of him Sunday night is something he’s never been asked to do in his entire career. He said if you don’t run the business, you work for someone in the business, and when they tell you to do something, you do it. He talked about his wife and kids and said what he did made him sick to his stomach. He said he wasn’t proud of it, but he makes no excuses. He said he did what he had to do to keep his job. Nice work from Armstrong there.

[Commercial Break]

-They plugged Batista vs. Jerich for later tonight.

2- MELINA vs. MICHELLE MCCOOL

McCool limped to the ring with a big brace on her knee. McCool got into the ropes before Melina could get her hands on the Women’s Champion. Reverse kick to McCool, who took a rest on the outside. Melina came out after her, but McCool snuck in and caught Melina coming in. She slammed Melina’s head into the mat and used the hair judiciously. Kick to the short-rib area by McCool. JR noted that Michelle wasn’t favoring the knee nearly as much as she had earlier. Dragon sleeper applied by McCool. Knee to the face by McCool. A few fans started to audibly chant, “We Want Trish.” Melina avoided contact with McCool, which sent the heel to the outside where she grabbed her knee. McCool was worked over, then thrown back into the ring. Double-knee to the back by Melina with McCool’s throat hung over the middle rope. Michelle got the elbow up on a charge, but Melina Matrix’d her way out of a big boot- then took one right in the mush anyway. Michelle got Melina up for what appeared to be a Widow’s Peak, but Melina did her flip powerbomb from that angle for the win.

WINNER: Melina, at 4:18. No real complaints about this one.

-Teddy Long was pacing in his office, saying he doesn’t know where Undertaker can come from, so he advised security to follow him all night. Then Vince McMahon showed up out of nowhere and said he needed to talk to Long alone. The first question: Where was Vince’s picture? Last week, Long said it’d be back on the wall, but it isn’t. Then he said Long’s big surprise of Batista being on Smackdown was extraordinary. He also said he’d come up with something at Breaking Point, and McMahon loved that too. He asked why though, why he double-crossed Taker. McMahon said he owes him an answer, and owes the WWE Universe an answer. He told Long to go out and tell the fans why he double-crossed Taker.

[Commercial Break]

-Theodore Long came out to boos from the fans. He was surrounded by his crack security squad. Will we get a “You screwed Taker *clap clap clap-clap-clap*” chant? During his entrance, they showed the video from the opening. Long said he’d like to personally welcome Batista back to Smackdown. Then he said he came out to make an admission. “You suck” chants. He admitted that everything was pre-planned to prevent Undertaker from becoming the World Champion. Long said he isn’t going to say he’s proud of what he did, because he’s not. He also admitted he was afraid of the Undertaker. Long said he wasn’t the only one involved in this: Scott Armstrong was, as well as C.M. Punk. He said the reason he did what he did was because he’s got a family to take care of and he can’t let his family down. He can’t be standing in the unemployment line and he’s too old to learn to do something new. He apologized for his actions, to the fans and to Taker. Long said he hopes that Taker will forgive him. So I guess he felt he needed to do something bit to stop McMahon from firing him- but why did it involved screwing the biggest bad-ass in company history out of the title? Why couldn’t he have made it a specialty match or something? Doesn’t really pass the smell test.

-After JR and Grisham talked about it, the camera followed Long and his security backstage. Long jumped in his limo, where a camera was specially positioned. And of course, Undertaker was the driver. “Buckle up, Teddy!” I was hoping for, “Where to, Teddy?” in honor of his previous limo driving experiences. Long struggled to escape as some weird mist (or smoke) emitted from the backseats. Also, there was some funky audio going on, changing Teddy’s voice slightly.

[Commercial Break]

-They showed what happened when Long got in his limo before break.

-C.M. Punk came out. “I told you so” were Punk’s first words. He said it seems like he says that an awful lot. According to Punk, he didn’t come out to brag, but to rather confront him. He said he wanted to stick his World Title in Taker’s face and to say “I told you so” to him. But of course, he’s conveniently not here now, so he thought he’d address the fans instead. He finally admitted he has been preaching to the fans, but only because they need it. Punk said the fans are going to do exactly like their hero Undertaker has, and give up. He questioned what kind of life the fans lead, where they have to pop a pill to crawl out of bed. He went through everything else that the fans do, in his mind, throughout the day, including drinking and smoking. The fans are just inebriated zombies, Punk said. He said they look for scapegoats for their inadequacies, of which they have many. Punk said the fans are lying to themselves if they say they don’t self-medicate. He reminded fans that he’s the only straight-edge champion in WWE history, which of course means he’s better than us.

-Another plug for Batista vs. Jericho, tonight’s main event.

[Commercial Break]

-Grisham advertised Great Khali taking on Kane later tonight. I like the giant smile on Ranjin Singh’s face on the graphic.

3- CRYME TYME vs. THE HART DYNASTY

So is this feud going to go anywhere or what? David Hart Smith and Shad Gaspard squared off at the outset. Grisham compared Smith’s dancing skills to Elaine from Seinfeld. Gaspard with a flapjack after getting Smith up for a suplex. Some double-teaming led to JTG getting the advantage. Shad press slammed Kidd down to the mat. Crowd seemed a bit quieter than I would’ve expected for this match. They took a break 2:00 into the match.

[Commercial Break]

The Harts were in control out of break, with David smashing some elbows into the Trapezius muscle of Shad. Kidd tagged in and was like a pitbull in there, aggressively attacking Shad. A Curt Hennig-like flip neck-breaker on the seated Shad by Smith, who tagged in and again grounded the bigger member of Cryme Tyme. Big boot allowed Shad to come back, but Smith grabbed on to the ankle of Gaspard, preventing him from crawling to his corner. Headlock applied by Kidd. Gaspard caught Kidd with a clothesline as Kidd came off the ropes, a clothesline Ross compared to Stan Hansen. JTG tagged in to some boos. He worked over Kidd. Roll-up with the tights by Kidd, but JTG reversed it for two. The ref tried to keep Natlya out of the ring, as did Eve Torres. Kidd came in with a blockbuster on JTG for the win, as the ref was too distracted by the ladies to notice Smith helping Kidd illegally.

WINNERS: Harts, at 11:54. Not a big fan of these one; I feel like I’ve seen it too many times.

-Melina walked backstage and into the women’s locker room. Posted all over the walls were pictures of Dolph and McCool in a compromising position from last week. Melina tried to take them down before Maria walked in, but was unsuccessful. Maria said Dolph probably has an explanation, then accused Melina of putting the pictures up. Maria said she was done with Melina.

-Jericho vs. Big Show is the main event tonight.

-But first, Kane vs. Khali is next.

[Commercial Break]

-JR and Grisham discussed the Hell in a Cell Card as it stands thus far.

4- THE GREAT KHALI vs. KANE

Khali took Kane into the corner with some forearms, then some boots. Big boot right to the face of Kane. Kane escaped the ring to avoid further damage. Khali chased him down (and I’m being generous saying that). He bounced Kane’s head off the announce table, but Kane got a chair and hit Khali with it for the DQ.

WINNER: Khali, by DQ, at :47.

Kane dragged the unconscious Khali over toward the ring steps. He put a leg on one of the steps, then smashed it several times with the top of the stairs. The fans were so silent you could hear Ranjin Singh yelling at Kane from the other side of the ring. The ref and Singh tended to Khali as Kane walked up the ramp, staring at his handiwork on the Titantron.

[Commercial Break]

-During the commercial break, Khali was wheeled away from ringside by medics.

-The WWE Smack of the Night aired here for some reason. It was R-Truth being attacked by Drew McIntyre.

-Charlie Haas was in the ring to face R-Truth. Instead, as Truth’s music played, Drew McIntyre confidently walked to the ring. That was a good visual. McIntyre said it seems Truth was involved in an accident backstage; unfortunately, he is unable to compete. McIntyre told Haas he won by forfeit. McIntyre offered a handshake and Haas took it. He then turned his back on McIntyre and Drew hit the double-arm DDT on him.

-Up next: Batista vs. Chris Jericho.

[Commercial Break]

-They showed what happened earlier tonight, when Teddy Long tried to escape via his limo, that unbeknownst to him, Undertaker had comandeered. JR said they had yet to get an update on the situation.

5- CHRIS JERICHO vs. BATISTA

Jericho slapped Batista in the face, which only angered the Animal. Batista caught a cross-body attempt and slammed Jericho down for a quick two-count. Jericho with a basement dropkick on the knees of Batista. Crowd was quiet here too, apparently not into Batista’s in-ring return to Smackdown. Jericho took Batista to the outside as Big Show looked on backstage on a monitor. Jericho slammed Batista into the announce table, then punched away at the skull of the big man. He wrapped Batista up in a submission hold on the mat. Batista got him up and on his back, and got him off by running backward into the turnbuckles. Jericho took over once again though with some hard (and loud) kicks. Not even much of a response for Jericho. Batista caught Jericho and slammed him down as he continued to hold his knee. More shoulders to the mid-section by Dave. Jericho put up a foot though on a charge, then landed a face-buster. He walked into a spinebuster to end his momentum. He got Jericho ready for a Batista Bomb, but Jericho got down and hit an enziguiri for a near-fall. Jericho went to the top rope, but jumped right into a clothesline. Batista continued to limp around the ring, trying to walk off an injury. Jericho dodged a spear and Jericho rolled him up for two, even using the ropes as leverage. Crowd started to wake up, chanting “Y2J.” Batista again set up for a Batista Bomb, but instead, Jericho locked in the Walls of Jericho. Batista was able to turn though and kick Jericho off. Codebreaker, but Batista caught him and Batista Bombed him. The pin was academic.

WINNER: Batista, at 6:26. Surprising lack of heat aside, this felt like a house show match.

As Batista celebrated, Josh Mathews went up to Big Show backstage and asked about what just happened. Show said if Batista wants to rumble with him next week, Batista’s luck will run out. They went back to Batista celebrating as the show faded out.

Greg Parks has been covering Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. You can also read his frequently updated blog in the VIP forum. Check out his column each week in the PDF-exclusive version of the Torch Newsletter. Comments, questions and feedback are welcome, and can be sent to g_man9784@yahoo.com.

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