TV REPORTS 4/21 WWE Raw: Mallory's "Virtual Time" Coverage
Apr 21, 2003 - 10:15:00 PM
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By Mallory Mahling, Torch Team Contributor
WWE Raw: Virtual time ongoing review
April 21, 2003
Live from Atlanta, Georgia
Broadcast live on TNN
Ongoing "Virtual Time" Review of Raw
Wade and Jason were lucky enough to get tickets to see the Wild in Game 6 of the playoffs tonight, so I'll be filling in with the virtual time coverage of Raw.
Since this is an ongoing review, you may need to hit "refresh" from time to time in order to see the latest update.
Quarter Hour 1
Ric Flair was pacing in Eric Bischoff's office. He was trying to understand the reasoning behind the six-man tag match for Backlash. Bischoff seemed to be enjoying all the bad blood that was brewing.
Flair didn't understand Bischoff's logic for the Booker T vs. Triple H match tonight, either. There would be a special guest referee, promised Bischoff -- Shawn Michaels. It was all about compelling television, assured the General Manager.
Jerry "The King" Lawler and Jonathan Coachman welcomed viewers to Raw, live from the Philips Arena in Atlanta, Georgia.
Chris Jericho's music hit, and the self-proclaimed King of the World headed out to the ring.
(1) Chris Jericho over The Hurricane. Hurricane got a very good pop as he made his entrance. The match started even before the bell, and Hurricane was on fire. After drop kicking Jericho to the outside, Hurricane flew out to pounce on Y2J. Back in the ring, Jericho began to control, and put Hurricane in the Walls of Jericho. Hurricane slowly crawled to the bottom rope to break the hold.
"Jericho sucks," chanted the Atlanta fans.
Jericho engaged in some trash talking while he had Hurricane in another submission hold. Huge DDT by Hurricane, who was back in control. Near pin by Hurricane, but Jericho kicked out. Hurricane missed a flip off the top rope, then Jericho tried for a Lionsault, which also found no one home.
A Hurri-Chokeslam on Jericho, but Y2J managed to get a foot on the ropes. Quick roll-up by Jericho, and Hurricane was once agian in the Walls of Jericho. This time he tapped out and Jericho took the win.
Ric Flair suddenly appeared in the ring and proceeded to slam Hurricane into the ring steps and the guard rails. He finally got Hurricane into the Figure Four and refused to let go. It took a swarm of referees to pull him off.
In the garage, the Rock and his guitar stepped out of a stretch limo. He'd had pie all day long and now it was time for Rock Concert II, he said (as only he can).
Quarter Hour 2
Theodore Long and his client, Rodney Mack, issued a five-minute challenge for the "white boy" in the ring.
(2) Rodney Mack over Unidentified White Boy. Long sat down with the King and the Coach for commentary. Even Coach didn't know who the opponent was. Long insisted he was not a racist as Big Mack pummeled his opponent.
Long was busy haterizing as the match continued.
Rodney Mack won the match in less than the five minutes.
Meanwhile, Booker T was walking down a hallway and confronted Shawn Michaels about being special guest referee. Michaels declared he was as surprised as Booker. Booker said he expected HBK to call the match evenly.
Earlier today, Goldberg at been at Ft. McPherson supporting the troops.
Coach was in the ring to introduce Lita.
Loud "Lita" chant from the crowd.
Lita said it had been far too long since she'd been in the ring and was pleased to announce she'd been cleared by her doctor . . .
Before she could continue, Eric Bischoff came out and dismissed Coach, although he did say Coach was a better announcer than J.R.
Quarter Hour 3
The Lita fans were out in full force tonight. Bischoff said she was amazing and it was time to "expose" her talent (using all the double entendres he could muster).
Since she was still "worthless" until fully able to get back into the ring, Eric suggested that she do a Playboy-type display. He said he wanted to see the "goods" for himself. He invited her to his hotel room after the show for a private audition.
This was a most uncomfortable segment, and Lita had the gumption to tell him to go to hell.
"You don't walk out on Eric Bischoff, you'll never come back to Raw or Heat. Lita, you're fired," he sputtered as Lita made her way backstage.
Ric Flair and Triple H were discussing tonight's match. Flair said he'd find some "insurance."
Christopher Nowinski joined Coach and the King for commentary.
(3) Test (w/Stacy Keiber) & Scott Steiner over Three Minute Warning (w/Rico). As Freakzilla made his entrance, highlights were shown of last week's debate.
Quarter Hour 4
Steiner looked impressive with a belly-to-belly on one of his big opponents. However, they began to double-team Steiner, who managed to escape Jamal coming off the top rope.
Test tagged in and also got one of the big men elevated. Stacy got knocked down and Rico began to stalk her. Steiner came to her rescue. In fact, he gave her a comforting hug, which distracted Test. Steiner made the winning pin.
Test was angry about the hug.
Test and Steiner had words backstage, but Stacy came up and said Test should be telling him thank you.
Kevin Nash was discussing the special guest referee issue with Bischoff. Eric looked like a pip squeak next to Big Kev, and was digging himself into a hole with every word he said.
Nash said he would pick his own side.
The ring was being set up for Rock Concert II.
Backstage the Rock was picking and grinning. Terri asked him what the audience could expect from Rock Concert II.
"The most electrifying night in television," Rock responded modestly. Then he offered the crowd a look at the People's booty.
Quarter Hour 5
The Rock came out for his Rock Concert. The ring was covered in red carpet for the occasion. The crowd was enthusiastic (and some of them were chanting "Goldberg").
For his first number, Rock sang his own version of "Georgia On My Mind." (Something about an inbred, hick state.) Then he changed the lyrics to diss Atlanta's favorite son, Bill Goldberg.
The Rock surprised the crowd and introduced Bill Goldberg. But it was really the "fearsome" Gillberg.
The Rock asked Gillberg to say a few words, and he growled something incomprehensible in the style of Goldberg.
The Rock's next number was "The Rock Went Down to Georgia."
A muscle car pulled into the garage and Goldberg emerged.
The Rock called for security as Goldberg, complete with music, pyro, and chant, headed to the ring.
The Rock offered up Gillberg if Goldberg felt like a little ass kicking.
Goldberg charged the ring and was surrounded by security as the Rock made his escape. Goldberg took out his frustrations on the security guards.
Gillberg suddenly began to punch Goldberg, which distracted Big Bill long enough for the Rock to Rock Bottom Goldberg.
The Rock began to run, with Goldberg right on his heels.
Backstage, Rock headed to a Hummer limo which pulled out quickly. Goldberg hopped into his Barracuda, but blew his engine (on purpose?). Goldberg began to chase after the Hummer on foot. Once he was out of the building, the Rock stepped out of his hiding place. He'd outsmarted Goldberg.
Quarter Hour 6
Those French guys were back insisting that Americans will learn the hard way.
Chief Morley came out to announce that the Dudley Boyz would be the opponents in the following tag match.
(4) Trish Stratus & Spike Dudley vs. Bubba Ray & D-Von Dudley was a no contest. Hardly a fair fight here. Bubba started by powerbombing Spike.
Then it was D-Von's turn, and he was reluctant. Morley demanded that he put Trish through a table.
"Get your own table," D-Von told Morley. The Chief of Stuff got the table as Bubba and D-Von argued. Bubba picked Trish up by her hair, but Kane and Rob Van Dam came to the rescue.
Kane sent Morley for a big ride, then turned his attention to Bubba.
Meanwhile, Jazz had come out to the ring with Teddy Long and Jazz put Trish face-first into the table. OUCH!
In a hallway backstage, the Rock told a stagehand that he was ready for an encore since he'd gotten rid of Goldberg.
Kevin Nash and Triple H were deep in conversation backstage (out of the range of a microphone).
Rock was back in the ring for his encore.
Quarter Hour 7
The Rock began to sing "Nobody Does it Better." But Goldberg had returned to the arena and sent the Rock flying over the top rope. Christian jumped into the ring to pound on Goldberg, but got yet another spear for his trouble.
The Rock took a steel chair to Goldberg's hard head, then continued to beat Goldberg savagely with the chair, right there in his hometown.
As the Rock headed up the ramp, Goldberg slowly got to his feet.
Kevin Nash knocked on Shawn Michaels' dressing room door, and Triple H stepped inside to have a word with Shawn.
Mr. America is coming.
(5) World Heavyweight Championship Match: Triple H (w/Ric Flair) vs. Booker T dissolved into a brawl. Sexy Boy, as special guest referee, headed out first.
Quarter Hour 8
Long, time-consuming entrances by Triple H and Booker. Michaels explained the rules and Triple H handed over the belt.
Coach said this might be Booker's last chance at the title as the match began. As the punches flew, Lawler and Coach speculated about which side Nash would choose.
Ric Flair attempted some interference on the outside, but Booker put him in his place.
Chris Jericho came out to add to the distractions at ringside.
Jericho attacked Booker when the ref (conveniently) had his back turned.
The match had continued during the break and Booker appeared to be getting the worst of it, including a knee to the forehead and a couple of pinning attempts.
The announcers wondered if the Kliq had gotten back together.
Triple H was wearing Booker down, but Booker managed a comeback and gave Triple H a big boot to the mouth.
Quarter Hour 9
Michaels continued to call the match straight down the middle. Booker covered Triple for a 2 1/2 count. Booker went up top and made another cover, but Triple H got his foot on the rope.
Triple H covered Booker, and Jericho insisted it had been a 3 count. Triple H went for a Pedigree, but Booker reversed it and nearly had a winning pin.
Booker with a scissors kick, but Jericho ran in and nailed Booker with the title belt. Triple H made the cover, but Michaels saw the telltale belt and refused to make the count.
Booker H covered Triple H and Michaels started to make the count again. It was turning into a Pier Six Brawl, and Michaels superkicked Triple H during the melee.
Kevin Nash made his way out to the ring and picked up Triple H. Then he picked up Michaels. Triple H nailed Nash from behind, then kicked Shawn Michaels as he left the ring with his belt.
Triple H had made Nash's decision for him . . . and Big Kev did not look happy. There's bound to be some payback at Backlash.
* * *
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