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PARKS' WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 8/7: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of the show, including C.M. Punk vs. Jeff Hardy for the World Title

Aug 7, 2009 - 9:00:55 PM

by Greg Parks, PWTorch.com Contributor

WWE Smackdown review
August 7, 2009
Taped 8/4/09 in Long Island, N.Y
Aired on MyNetwork TV

-WWE Open.

-Clips aired of last week’s main event, but the video was interrupted before they could show the post-match attack initiated by C.M. Punk.

-Punk came to the ring on this week’s show, seemingly cutting off the ending of the video package. He got the mic and said he tired to empathize with the fans’ weaknesses, and even told them to “just say no.” But all he got, was for them to love Jeff Hardy even more. He said that won’t deter them, and he will keep trying to teach them the difference between right and wrong. He talked about facing challenges head-on, then he cued up the clips of the beat-down from last week. Punk said fans like Hardy because they are just like him. He said the reality is that the fans don’t have the strength to be straight-edge. He said it’s easier to be weak like Jeff rather than strong like him. He asked what the prescription bottles say, and insinuated they take more than they should. He talked about abusing pills and smoking, as well as the “funny cigarettes.” Punk said not only is it hazardous to your health, but illegal as well. He called the vast majority of fans in the stands criminals. Next on the agenda was alcohol and alcoholism. He said in his book, even one drink = alcoholism. Punk again called the fans weak and said they deserve better. He wanted to be their leader, who will just say no. He said the fans need a straight-edge World Champion. The referee is in the ring, as is Justin Roberts, so I guess we’re leading off with the title match.

1- C.M. PUNK vs. JEFF HARDY- WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Hardy attacked before the bell, and referee Scott Armstrong tried to restrain him. It didn’t work, so other referees and agents Dean Malenko and Mike Rotundo came out to separate the two. General Manager Teddy Long was out there as well. Once they were separated, Vince McMahon came out. Let’s get this out of the way....

WINNER: No Match.

McMahon said they need a title match and that Long can’t control anything. Apparently, he’s still on probation. McMahon said he’d find someone who will be able to control things. McMahon said he’d have a special guest enforcer who would maintain control of the match. The guest enforcer: He’s going to make everyone wait and find out. After he went to the back, Hardy attacked Punk once again. It was pretty obvious something would happen because they never do matches like this this early on the show. I wouldn’t mind them switching it up once in a while so you wouldn’t be able to see this coming a mile away.

[Commercial Break]

-Todd Grisham and Jim Ross talked on camera about what happened in the previous segment.

1- JOHN MORRISON vs. TYSON KIDD

This is a re-match from last week’s episode of Superstars. The two men traded wrist-locks and Morrison worked Kidd’s arm into an arm-bar. Kidd was able to get away and into the ropes. Kidd yelping during his offense is really distracting. Dropsault by Morrison for two. Unique twisting legdrop for two as well. Kidd sent Morrison to the outside where Natalya attacked him from behind, then David Hart Smith did the same when the official was getting Natalya back away from Morrison. Kidd was in control back in the ring as they went to break.

[Commercial Break]

Morrison tried to get out of a headlock, but Kidd kept it on and stayed aggressive. Lots of yelling from Kidd as well. Morrison elbowed out, but Kidd then applied a sleeper. Morrison fought back after flipping him off his back with a kick to the head and a clothesline. Standing moonsault for two. Kidd placed himself on Morrison’s shoulders, but Morrison put him down gently and rolled him up for two. Kidd put Morrison in a submission move, pinning his shoulders back with his arms. Blockbuster by Kidd that garnered him a two-count. Kidd dodged a knee to the head, but a hurricanrana attempt was turned into a powerbomb for two. Flying Chuck kick by Morrison and Starship Pain connected, “in the face!!!” as the cop from The Hangover would say- it looked brutal. But it also got the win for Morrison.

WINNER: Morrison, at 11:35. Another solid match between these two, especially the second half.

-This week’s “Word Up” aired. The men proclaimed themselves the next tag champions. Today’s word: Pretenda- a fake, fraud, wannabe, or paper champion. Eve was there to give the word and also suggest some pretendas. The men called the tag champions pretendas and right on cue, Slam Master J came into the scene. He’s so official, he has to carry a whistle. He congratulated Cryme Tyme for earning a shot at the tag champions at Summerslam. They talked about J’s match coming up and he told them to watch the monitor.

-They got in a plug for the World Title match. Based on the silhouette, the guest enforcer looks like Jerry Lawler.

[Commercial Break]

2- CHARLIE HAAS vs. SLAM MASTER J

At least Haas got an entrance this week. Slam Master J hails from the ATL, apparently Atlanta from what I gather. Haas went after J, who had corn-rows and wore jeans similar to R-Truth. Cryme Tyme and Eve were actually shown watching the match backstage. Belly-to-belly overhead suplex by Haas for two. This gave the announcers the opportunity to show just how uncool and white they were. Cobra Clutch back-breaker by Haas. Flying forearm by J as he started to come back. Atomic drop, then a clothesline on Haas. Crowd didn’t care much for this. Jesse went to the top, but Haas headbutted him. He tried a suplex, but J fought out of it. From the top, a flying splash got the win.

WINNER: Slam Master J, at 2:38. I think J is going to become the Santino of Smackdown, but not nearly on the comedy level Marella is/was.

-Next is the Fatal Four-Way to find out who will face Rey Mysterio for the I.C. Championship. It’s Mike Knox, Dolph Ziggler, R-Truth and Finlay.

[Commercial Break]

-Grisham thanked Aerosmith for WWE’s use of “You Gotta Move” as the official Summerslam theme.

-Rey Mysterio came out to scout the next match. He did guest commentary.

3- R-TRUTH vs. FINLAY vs. MIKE KNOX vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER- FATAL FOUR-WAY TO DETERMINE #1 CONTENDER FOR INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP

Mysterio talked about fighting Knox and other giants such as Bam Bam Bigelow and Kevin Nash. All three men were down early with Knox standing tall...probably means he won’t win. They took a break at that point.

[Commercial Break]

Finlay got his feet up on a Knox splash attempt in the corner back from break, but Ziggler dropkicked Finlay out of the ring and Truth low-bridged Knox. He then dove over the top onto Knox. It was left with Finlay and Ziggler, but Knox broke up a pin attempt by Finlay. Double DDT by Ziggler. The two heels did battle, but it was a draw, as they collided with each other. More pins broken up as Finlay double-crossed Truth. Truth with a twisting forearm for two on Knox, as Ziggler broke it up. Finlay used the Shillaleigh on Knox, but Ziggler hit Finlay with his finisher before Finlay could make the pin and Ziggler picked up the victory.

WINNER: Ziggler, at 7:45. Lots of action in this one.

Ziggler walked up to Rey after the match and slapped him, but Finlay grabbed him by the hair. After the distraction, Rey hit the seated senton on Ziggler off the table.

-They showed what happened earlier in the night, when a brawl broke out before the World Title match could start. The match will take place later on, with a guest enforcer.

[Commercial Break]

-Melina and Maria were chatting backstage about the Women’s Title and Maria being happy about Ziggler getting an I.C. Title shot at Summerslam. Melina didn’t seem to be a big fan of Dolph and Maria said there’s a difference between the Ziggler inside the ring and the Ziggler outside the ring. She said she thinks she deserves a good guy for once. Melina said the important thing is he makes her happy. Maria went off to find Dolph. Just there to establish the relationship, which means something is going to happen soon.

4- CHRIS JERICHO vs. JTG

Jericho knocked down JTG and smiled, but JTG hit the ropes and then hit Jericho with a back elbow. Fameasser for two by JTG. As the ref admonished JTG, Jericho landed a cheap-shot right hand. He threw the Cryme Tyme member out of the ring, where Big Show kicked him in the gut behind the ref’s back. In the ring, Jericho worked the abdominal stretch. JTG countered, but Jericho got the knees up on a splash attempt. “Y2J” chants from some of the crowd. Another abdominal stretch. Shad attempted to get the crowd into it from the outside. JTG made his comeback and gave Jericho a facebuster out of the corner. He only got a two-count. Jericho went back on offense and taunted JTG and Shad. Take-down by JTG only got two after Jericho made a cardinal mistake and put his head down after whipping JTG into the ropes. Jericho tried to apply the Walls of Jericho, but JTG was catapulted. He landed feet-first on the second rope and legdropped Jericho while Y2J was on his feet. That got him a two as well. He then walked into a Codebreaker, but JTG was under the bottom rope. By the time Jericho realized this, JTG had enough time to recover, and he suckered Jericho into an inside cradle for the surprise win.

WINNER: JTG, at 6:32. I don’t think it’s any stretch to say this is the biggest singles win of JTG’s career. Standard Jericho TV match.

-The main event World Championship Match is still to come tonight.

[Commercial Break]

5- THE GREAT KHALI vs. RICKY ORTIZ

Clotheslines by Ortiz didn’t have much effect, but a chop to the head by Khali did. Punjabi Plunge, and it’s an easy night for Khali.

WINNER: Khali, at :31.

Kane came out after the match, but out of the crowd and from behind. His music hit, and Khali turned his attention to the ramp, which allowed Kane to strike. He knocked Khali over the top rope. Kane then went after Ranjin Singh, who tried to run away. Kane took him to the ground and cornered him. He grabbed Singh by the throat and took him over the barricade. He literally dragged him through the crowd to.....well, who knows where.

[Commercial Break]

-Grisham and JR, on camera, talked about what just happened. Then they showed Kane dragging Singh away.

-Ring announcer Justin Roberts announced the special enforcer for the World Championship Match: It was the return of Matt Hardy. JR questioned whether or not Matt could be fair and impartial. The match is next.

[Commercial Break]

6- JEFF HARDY vs. C.M. PUNK- WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Jeff got in Matt’s face before the match. Speaking of, looks like Matt has some bad sunburn on his face or something. Atomic drop and a double legdrop by Hardy early in the match, a two count over a minute into the contest. Clothesline and over the top rope went Punk. Punk pulled Jeff off the apron by one leg. Both men were down outside the ring as they went to break just shy of 2:00 in.

[Commercial Break]

It was Punk who was the aggressor out of break. Punk attacked the torso of Hardy with knees to the mid-section. Abdominal stretch followed that up. Hard whip into the buckle sent Hardy crumpling to the mat. Hardy came back with a Whisper in the Wind, but Jeff was too hurt to capitalize immediately. The men traded rights in the middle of the ring until Hardy one-uppped Punk with a mule kick, then a corner dropkick. Jeff went to the top, but Punk met him up there. Superplex off the top by the straight-edge star. Lateral press got a very near fall. Punk got Hardy up on his shoulders for the GTS, but it was no good. Eventually, Hardy sent Punk out of the ring near Matt Hardy, and Jeff hit a cross-body onto him. Jeff went up to Matt, and Punk went for a low dropkick, but it hit Matt instead of Jeff. Twist of Fate by Jeff back in the ring. Swanton, but Punk got his knees up. The ref began the count, but at two, Matt pulled him out of the ring. That didn’t make Punk happy, who argued with Matt about what he did. Then Jeff rolled up Punk and Matt counted to three.

WINNER: Jeff Hardy, at 11:08. Fine match, but you knew they weren’t going to pull out all the stops here. Interesting finish with Matt seemingly siding with Jeff.

Matt immediately left to go to the back, where Punk chased after him up the ramp. Punk, with his angry face on, came back to the ring where Jeff was just getting to his feet. Punk again attacked Jeff, kicking him and throwing him out of the ring. He bounced Jeff’s head off the announce table several times, then got a steel chair to escalate things. He nailed Jeff right in the back. Punk put the chair around Jeff’s neck, then pushed him into the ringpost. Trainers came to check on Jeff and Punk told them, “make sure he’s OK, make sure he’s OK....fix him so I can break him again.” They brought the stretcher out as well. They showed a replay of the post-match attack. At the top of the ramp, Teddy Long met Punk. Punk demanded a re-match. Long said if Jeff is able to defend the title by Summerslam, he’ll get his chance. But in a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match. Fans chanted “TLC, TLC” as Long checked on Hardy. Jeff was put in a neck-brace as the show went off the air.

Greg Parks has been covering Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. You can also read his all-new blog in the VIP forum. Check out his column each week in the PDF-exclusive version of the Torch Newsletter. Comments, questions and feedback are welcome, and can be sent to g_man9784@yahoo.com.

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