By James Caldwell, Torch assistant editor

WWE - ECW on Sci-Fi TV Report
May 26, 2009 - Year 3, Week 51 (Week 155 overall)
Taped in Los Angeles, Calif. (originally scheduled for Colorado Springs)

After the WWE intro aired, Josh Mathews and Matt Striker introduced the show with a plug for the six-man tag main event of ECW champ Christian & Finlay & Dreamer vs. Swagger & Smith & Kidd.

In-ring: ECW champion Christian came out first to start the show. He flashed the ECW Title belt to the arena, which looked like just a lower-bowl house show type set-up. Top of the arena looked blacked off with only a few days to sell tickets to the live event after they pulled it from Colorado Springs. Christian said it's fitting ECW is live from Hollywood tonight because his peeps get him here. He said when someone's on a reality show, that person gets a little bit of fame, then that show is over and that person doesn't realize it's really over. Then, they walk around town thinking they're hot stuff, but they're really a dork that won't go away. Ooh, he called Jack Swagger a dork. Written for a third grader.

Christian said this issue with Swagger just won't go away until he does something about it. So, he's going to do something about it right now. Christian called out Swagger because his 15 minutes of fame are just about up. No sign of Swags. Christian called him out again, then Swagger slowly walked out on stage dressed to wrestle. Swagger said his fame is not running out. My time is up? He said he's a two-time, two-time All-American and his time is just beginning. Christian smirked. Your time, Christian, is running out as champ. Swagger entered the ring. See, Christian, since you cheated in our last match, GM Tiffany granted him an ECW Title re-match at Extreme Rules.

Christian said that's wonderful. What's the stip, though? Is it a "Hey, I've already seen Christian beat this dork twice match?" Swagger said, "No, it's a Swagger looks good and is returning to glory match." Cue up GM Tiffany's old Torrie Wilson theme to interrupt the little boys having a chat. Tiffany said while Swagger has his ECW Title opportunity, it's going to be a triple threat. She introduced their opponent... Tommy Dreamer's music hit and Dreamer walked out on stage with a big smile on his face. Swagger said it's not fair because Dreamer's contract expires the day before Extreme Rules.

Tiffany said Dreamer signed a one-day contract extension and he either wins the ECW Title or he walks away. Dreamer, meanwhile, was doing all kinds of crazy struts in the ring behind Tiff, Swag, and Christian. First, a Flair strut, then a Ravishing Rick Rude pelvis thrust, then an Arnold bodybuilder side pose, then a stomach flex. Swagger didn't appreciate it, so he charged Dreamer, but Dreamer dumped him to the floor. Dreamer then dumped Christian to the outside for no apparent reason other than he's apparently nuts and feeling pretty good about himself. Christian just stared back into the ring perplexed at the suddenly rejuvenated Dreamer. Maybe he had some of JBL's Mamajuana. Who knows.

Up next: The "aggressive and forceful" Vladimir Koslov. Get that punching bag on the show. C'mon.

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Kozlov came to the ring for a two-on-one handicap match. The punching bag and a jobber? Russ Taylor was apparently playing the punching bag and Joey Munos was the jobber.

[Q2]

1 -- KOZLOV vs. RUSS TAYLOR & JOEY MUNOS

Mathews said Kozlov is unde-fleated on ECW and he requested this two-on-one match to show his superiority as a fighting force. Kozlov knocked Joey to the floor, then Russ tried to get himself some, but Kozlov head-butted him in mid-air. Kozlov with a front bear hug toss for the pin and the win. No post-match promo? Apparently Kozlov was tired from the work-out.

WINNER: Kozlov in 2:00. Yay, another squash for Kozlov. Book that real punching bag against Kozlov and let's see how tough he really is. (n/a)

Backstage: Christian and Dreamer were yelling at each other in the locker room. Christian asked Dreamer what he's trying to prove. Dreamer said he was announced for the triple threat and they no-sold him coming to the ring. Christian said it wasn't like that. Dreamer said it was and they were supposed to be friends, so who the heck do you think you are? Christian shot back: "I'm the ECW champion." Dreamer took exception and shoved him into the locker room. Boom, the fight was on and they rolled around in the high school locker room after gym class before P.E. coach Finlay broke it up. Save it for the six-man tonight, fellas! Good intensity from both. Nice to see some tension established for the Extreme Rules title match.

[Commercial Break]

Announcers: Mathews and Striker talked on camera promoting the Don't Try it At Home. Striker basically told the kids watching at home don't be stupid. I like them finally taking the time to focus on this, as I've been advocating this for a few years that they need to show corporate responsibility for aiming their product toward kids who maybe don't know any better about not trying to piledrive their friends on the playground.

In-ring: Mark Henry came to the ring with Tony Atlas. Henry has some initials on the left side of his ring outfit. Not sure what they refer to. Evan Bourne then came out making his return after a two-week hiatus.

2 -- EVAN BOURNE vs. MARK HENRY (w/Tony Atlas)

Bourne tried to run away from Henry, but Henry cornered him and smashed him into the gut. Henry took his sweet time wearing down Bourne as Atlas shouted instructions. Striker filled us in that the initials on the outfit mean "Somebody's Gonna Hurt Somebody." Nice to know. Henry continued to slow this down, taking away Bourne's offense and any interest in continuing to watch the match. Bourne tried to make sure people didn't click away with knee strikes before landing kicks to the back and front. Bourne landed an enziguiri from his knees that knocked down Henry, then he went up top as the audience came to life anticipating a Shooting Star. Henry rolled to the outside, though, and Bourne landed a big double-knee smash that knocked down Henry. Ref was focused on-camera, so you knew a count-out was coming. Bourne gathered himself and ran off Henry's back into the ring at nine. Henry couldn't make it back in, so he was counted out, giving Bourne the win. Mathews sold it as a career-defining moment for Bourne getting a victory over Henry. Henry chucked the ring steps around the ring in frustration before shouting back to Bourne that he's lucky to be alive.

WINNER: Bourne via count-out in 7:00. Dragged in the beginning before a fine finish with the tease of the Shooting Star Press and Bourne finding a way to win without really winning to continue the program. (*)

Announcers: Mathews and Striker talked on camera about Finlay suffering an eye injury during the backstage melee. Limited vision was the prognosis. He's day-to-day for the main event.

[Q3]

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Principal Tiffany was pacing around in the locker room upset about Finlay being injured because of Christian and Dreamer. They lowered their heads in shame. As punishment, it's now a handicap match against Swagger and the "Hart Dynasty." They apologized with their eyes, then walked off.

In-ring: The remix of Bret Hart's theme music hit and Natalya led D.H. Smith and Tyson Kidd to the ring. Natalya gave us a little history lesson on the Hart legacy here. Tyson Kidd is the nephew of Bret Hart. And, to my right, David Hart Smith is the only son of the British Bulldog. Natalya reminded us that she's the only daughter of the legendary Jim the Anvil Neidhart. Cheers for the three name-drops. Natalya slowly said they are part of something none of the audience will ever be part of nor anyone in the back will ever be a part of. Collectively, they are the Hart Dynasty. Cue up Bret's re-mixed theme music. Main event coming up next.

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Swagger was in the ring after the break joining the Hart Dynasty for the main event. Tommy Dreamer then came out first for the babyface tandem. Are we getting five minutes of Smith isolating Dreamer tonight? Christian then came out ready to compete with the deck stacked.

[Q4]

3 -- JACK SWAGGER & HART DYNASTY (TYSON KIDD & DAVID HART SMITH w/Natalya) vs. ECW champion CHRISTIAN & TOMMY DREAMER -- handicap match

Striker said Finlay would be out here if doctors cleared him, but it's difficult to do simple tasks with just one eye. Striker gave us an eye exercise to try looking at the TV screen with just one eye. Ah, the old "find out which eye is your dominant eye" trick. I remember that one. Cover one eye and see which one focuses on the object without it moving. Or, is the dominant eye the one where you object shifts? I never could remember. Dang it Striker. Anyways, match started with HD working over Christian. Smith looked kind of silly with black trunks and pink kneepads. Swagger then tagged in and tossed Christian to the mat with a waistlock. Christian finally made a comeback on Swagger and tagged in Dreamer, who told Christian how this tag team operation was going to work.

Dreamer, showing more aggression tonight, pounded Swagger into the corner. Mathews reminded us that Dreamer's contract expires at Extreme Rules after he signed a one-day extension. He's gone if he doesn't win the title. He should have waited until the day of the PPV and pulled a Jeff Jarrett to demand a lump sum payment. Anyways... Dreamer and Christian exchanged words, which lulled Swagger into a false sense of security and they dumped him to the floor. Champ and Dream took out the Dynasty on the floor, then Christian splashed Swagger on the outside. Christian rolled Swagger back into the ring and made a cover for a two count. Dynasty took control in a quiet arena as they cut to break.

[Commercial Break]

Back from break, Dreamer was in control trying to finish off Swagger, but Swags reversed the Dreamer DDT into a belly-to-belly suplex. Smith then tagged in to begin working on Dreamer. Kidd came in for a few moments to scream at Dreamer before Smith re-entered for a long-standing vertical suplex to wear down Dreamer.

[Q5 -- over-run]

Smith went back to work on Dreamer to ground him and prevent a tag to Christian. Swagger came in and knocked Christian off the apron, but Dreamer broke free from HD facing Kidd. Christian finally took the hot tag at 17:30 to little or no reaction. Crowd dead for this. Kidd tried a suplex on Christian, but Christian blocked and nailed the pendulum kick out of the corner. Christian nailed a second-rope European Uppercut before clearing HD off the apron to go up top. He wanted a top rope missile dropkick and he connected for a two count when Smith broke it up. Dreamer then clotheslined Smith and himself over the top rope. Meanwhile, Swagger took a tag and shoved Christian shoulder-first into the ringpost. Swagger followed with a gutwrench powerbomb on Christian for the pin and the win.

Post-match: Dreamer attacked Swagger from behind, but Smith and Kidd cut him off. Smith picked up Dreamer and combined with Kidd for the Hart Attack double-team clothesline and front slam. HD stood tall with Swagger standing behind them as Bret's re-mix music played. Announcers recapped the highspots of the match

WINNERS: Swagger & Hart Dynasty in 19:00. Long, drawn-out tag match that lost the crowd half-way through. The crowd wasn't into the show anyways, so not a big deal. Match was a decent TV showcase for all five men, including Dreamer with his new intensity. But, it had a little bit of that Raw ten-man tag side effect of everyone canceling each other to some degree. Still, HD shined at the end of the day and Christian was put in jeopardy to set up the ECW Title match in two Sundays. (**1/2)

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