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KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 4/23: Foley parade his title belt, Lashley shows up, Jarrett vs. Steiner, Beautiful People celebrate

Apr 25, 2009 - 8:47:32 PM
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By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT
APRIL 23, 2009
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.
AIRED ON SPIKE TV


[Q1]

-The video package recapped the major happenings at Lockdown. The narrator said this was an Impact no one can miss.

-After the TNA opening montage, Mike Tenay introduced the show and asked how the world would react to Mick Foley as TNA World Heavyweight Champion.

-Jeff Jarrett walked out with the world title belt. Tenay talked about the headlines coming out of Lockdown. Jarrett (who must have a professional dresser now as he had a matching, trendy looking shirt and jeans this week rather than the color-blind, fashion-blind outfits of the past), introduced Foley as the new champion. As Foley walked out, Don West talked about Foley's means of victory on Sunday.

Foley limped into the ring and said he wanted to acknowledge someone who came through big time for him. He pointed the camera at the cameraman, Dirk, who came through for him by handing him a weapon when he asked for it. He said he has a job for a long time. Dirk smiled. Foley said the price he paid on Sunday was physical, but for Sting it was mental. He said his win Sunday was bitter sweet because after his win, he saw a broken man. He said it's a safe bet we won't see Sting for a while. They cut to Jarrett who seemed displeased with Foley's tone and approach. Foley called for a "Sting" chant.

Jarrett approached Foley and said as the founder of TNA, it's his job to present him with the belt. Jarrett said never did he think when he signed Foley to be an executive shareholder that they would stand together in this ring under these circumstances. Foley acted like Jarrett was enjoying the moment and smiled proudly. Jarrett said Foley told him he intended to concentrate on out-of-ring TNA matters.

Jarrett explained that TNA management has decided his first title defense will be at Sacrifice in a four-way, and if he loses he'll sacrifice his TNA Title belt. Jarrett his opponents will be decided based on what they want to sacrifice. Foley reiterated the rules to be sure he had it right. Then he asked who Jarrett spoke of when he said "TNA management" since the only executives he knows are himself and Jarrett. He said Jarrett must be craving a peanut butter and jealousy sandwich because he resents that he's no longer sipping water backstage, but is now the general.

Foley said he's going to use his influence to book Jarrett in a match. Jarrett told him injured his hamstring. Foley said that doesn't matter to him. He booked him in a Cactus Jack Smack Attack match. He booked him against Scott Steiner who wasn't pleased with his actions on Sunday. Foley said he's going to sit with Tenay and West to "add color to the match."

-Lauren interviewed The Beautiful People who were throwing a party for themselves due to Angelina Love's Knockouts Title win on Sunday.

[Q2]

[Commercial Break]

-Don West interviewed Team 3D. They thanked Beer Money for bring their A-game on Sunday. They said they're aware that the tag team division could be stronger, so they're holding a Team 3D Tag Team Invitational Tournament with a $100,000 award to the winners.

1 -- BEER MONEY INC vs. LETHAL CONSEQUENCES

West said Beer Money wanted to win the tag team titles in Philly so badly because of what it would have meant to their legacy. Ask.com is a new sponsor and mid-match Tenay plugged them with a TNA trivia question viewers could answer at the website. Speaking of sponsors, Beer Money's tights look like they have the Starbucks logo on the backs. Lethal scored a near fall at 4:00 after a Lethal Consequences on Roode. Beer Money finished Lethal with their finisher, the DWI. I question the naming of a finisher after DWI. They name a character after Suicide and now a finisher after driving while intoxicated, which kills thousands of innocent people per year. There are perfectly suitable substitutes that don't sting people's real life tragedies, such as "Hang Over," "Last Call," and other alcohol-related puns if that's what they are going for.

WINNERS: Beer Money in 4:00 to advance.

STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Decent tag action.

-Jeremy Borash interviewed the Main Event Mafia backstage. Angle tried to take the blame for their loss, but Steiner stepped in and said he was to blame because he got Angle to let his guard down because he thought Jarrett could be trusted.

[Q3]

[Commercial Break]

-Borash interviewed an upset Jarrett backstage. He told him what the Mafia said, and how upset Steiner is. Jarrett said he doesn't give a damn how Steiner feels. He said he made a business decision by siding with Frontline and the Originals. He said screw Steiner and the Mafia and Foley. Eric Young walked up and asked what he has to do to get a chance around here. He said thought beating Rocco would open some doors. Jarrett asked if he realizes what's going on around there. He said they have a lunatic for a TNA Champion and bigger issues than him. Young said he's not looking for a handout. He said he just wants a chance. Jarrett told him to track down a tag partner for the tournament tonight. "Take it or leave it," he said.

-Tenay and West hyped the rest of the Impact line-up.

-A video package aired of Foley on Sunday night after the show walking to his car which was full of oddities and junk and coupons, then driving home and kissing his wife, then sending his kids off to school on the bus in the morning with his newly won belt over his shoulder. He said he's just a normal dad walking around with 25 stitches and a world title belt.

-Lauren interviewed Kevin Nash backstage, along with Booker T, Sharmell, and the Survivor gal nobody recognizes. She and Sharmell argued. Booker told Nash to control his lady. Nash said Booker's wife started it. Nash then said this isn't the time or place and they'd talk later. Booker told Sharmell to chill. She said she's sick of this, shoved him, and stormed away. Lauren asked Nash if he's worried about ring rust. He said that might affect a mere mortal.

[Commercial Break]

-They went to more handheld footage of Foley, this from Monday when he visited a restaurant. Foley asked if a world champion has ever stepped through the doors before. He called a woman worker's husband on a cell phone to say hi. He's a man of the people, it looks like, not a lunatic.

-Styles approached Jarrett and apologized for every doubting him. Christopher Daniels thanked Jarrett for bringing him back. He said he owed him for life. Styles said he has his back. Jarrett looked at Borash and said that's why he does what he does for those guys.

[Q4]

2 -- SOJO BOLT vs. TAYLOR WILDE -- Knockout Ladder Match to Earn Title Shot

A title match contract hung above the ring, accessible by the ladder. West announced that TNA Slammiversary would take place in Detroit at the Palace of Auburn Hills. There are some real doubters within TNA regarding whether renting that building is fiscally responsible. Both early and late in the match, they fought while climbing the ladder. Bolt pulled brass knuckles out of her top and used them to KO Taylor at the top of the ladder and win. West contended the knux was just shiny tape, but it obviously wasn't.

WINNER: Bolt in 3:00.

STAR RATING: 1/4 -- Too short, of course, and what a watering down of the ladder match concept for no reason. This booking team definitely ate the cookie as soon as the adult left the room.

[Commercial Break]

-A referee walked up to Jarrett and said Joselyn called and there's a problem at home having to do with school. Jarrett looked worried.

-Velvet Sky announced a big day for the Beautiful People because Madison Rayne is now officially welcomed into Mi Pi Sexy, but Love won the Knockouts Title. Love walked out proudly displaying her newly won title. Love thanked the fans for their support all those years. "I know times are tough right now and many of you are out of work with the burger joints all going out of business. I know how tough it is for you to lose your trailers during these tough times," she said. "But through it all, you were there for me and now I truly understand, they like me, they really like me!" Sky introduced a special treat, The Dancing Boys. Out onto the stage stepped three guys in jeans and white muscle shirts dancing their way to the ring. Tenay said they've officially hijacked Impact. They gave Love a strip dance routine and lap dance. Awesome Kong interrupted. This moment may count as Kong's official babyface turn. Tenay said he's never felt so good about hearing that music. She gave an Awesome Bomb to one of the "Dancing Boys."

[Q5]

[Commercial Break]

-How do they manage to go to a commercial break at the start of hour two so many weeks? It's a pre-taped show and it's the worst time possible for a commercial break.

-Foley got a massage with his head resting on the title belt and then tried to give her a $1 bill as a $20 tip to the blind massage therapist. She somehow knew. He gave her a $100.

3 -- KEVIN NASH (w/Jenna) vs. A.J. STYLES -- Legends Title match

Nash opened with knees in the corner. Styles came back at 1:00 with a dropkick to the knees. West called it a cheapshot. Nash elbowed Styles off the top rope and knocked him to the floor. West said there's no substitute for seven feet. After some offense at ringside, Nash scored a two count after a short-arm clothesline. Styles came back with a flying forearm at 3:00 and then a basement dropkick. Styles countered a chokeslam comeback attempt by Nash with a Pele kick for a two count. Sting springboarded at Nash, but Nash moved. Sharmell and Booker walked to the ring. Booker gave Styles an axe kick as Sharmell distracted the ref. Nash dropped his strap and set up the Jackknife. The ref stepped in and DQ'd Nash for Booker's interference. Tenay said he must've seen Booker's interference out of the corner of his eye.

WINNER: Styles in 5:00.

[Commercial Break]

[Q6]

-A commercial aired for the Jarrett DVD.

-The showed a confrontation from during the break between Mafia members, mainly it seemed Nash and Jenna versus Angle, Booker, and Sharmell.

4 -- NO LIMIT (w/Kiyoshi, Sheik Abdul Bashir) vs. "OUTLAW" JETRO HOLIDAY & ERIC YOUNG

Holiday is the former Trevor Murdoch. West said this shows how far people will travel to get a tag title shot. West said Holiday's scheduled tag partner didn't make it, and Young is filling in. Remember this segment in the quarter hour ratings.

WINNERS: Young & Holiday in 3:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4

-Lauren interviewed Styles in the parking garage. Styles said that isn't the last time someone thought they had him beat and he wasn't (although he spoke in the annoying third person). He noticed Samoa Joe arriving. He confronted him about not returning phone calls. He asked what his problem is. Joe said everything and everybody is his problem. Styles said they're friends. Joe said there are no friends, just his Nation of Violence.

[Commercial Break]

-Lauren and Abyss visited Dr. Stevie Richards. She asked Dr. Stevie when he became a psychologist, or was he studying to become one when he was in ECW. Stevie asked what a piece of paper really means. Lauren complained that he assaulted "Chris" (Abyss) in the ring. Lauren asked about her compassion for him. He said he's a recovering addict himself and he's experienced the same pain as Abyss. He said Abyss is like a brother to him. Lauren said that doesn't give him the right to abuse him. Stevie said he needs to help Chris transfer his aggression elsewhere. Stevie asked Lauren to help him get Chris better. They cut away as Stevie began to explain his gameplan.

-They showed Tenay and West on camera. West plugged upcoming dates.

[Q7]

-Tenay conducted a sitdown interview with Christopher Daniels. Daniels said he and A.J. named their kids after each other. Tenay asked about being part of TNA early. Daniels said it was presented to him as being the alternative to what was going on in wrestling at the time, and the X Division would be the crown jewel. He said he and Styles were among those who established it. Daniels said he was fired after Feast or Fire. He said he blamed everybody afterward, but finally the lights turned on for him. Daniels said it struck him when he heard the Mafia said they put TNA on the map. He said his wife told him he had been acting like the Mafia, and it was time for to step up and put his name in the upper echelon with the Kurt Angles and Eddie Guerreros. He said he wants to prove to everyone he's in that same spot.

-They showed Foley heading toward the entrance tunnel.

[Commercial Break]

-They went to more handheld "Cross the Line Cam" footage with Foley signing autographs at the airport. He joked with fans about wanting a naked Polaroid. He then tried to walk through security with the big title belt. "Could it possibly be this?" he asked the alarms went off.

-Foley got a formal ring intro as he limped toward the announcing table for the main event. He pointed to his stitched as he sat next to Tenay and West. He complained about Jarrett booking him in a four-way match. West sided with Foley, saying Jarrett's been undermining him since he got there.

5 -- SCOTT STEINER vs. JEFF JARRETT -- Weapons Match

Jarrett opened with a reverse atomic drop, then hit Steiner with the kendo stick three times. He hit Steiner with a walker at ringside, then hit Steiner with a sign a fan brought that said, "Use My Sign." Steiner made a comeback and literally used a pogo stick. Jarrett clotheslined him off of it. Never seen that before. Steiner hit Jarrett with a big plastic Santa Claus. This is entering WCW Uncensored territory.

[Q8]

Foley noted that Jarrett didn't seem to be hampered by his hamstring. He mocked him for not being able to fake an injury. Jarrett went for a Stroke on a chair, but Steiner countered. Steiner put a trash can over his head and bashed it with crutches. Steiner suplexed Jarrett off the top rope for a two count at 10:00. Foley said he love having the power to book this match on a whim. He said Steiner wanted it and asked nicely. Jarrett brought his magic guitar into the ring. He bashed Steiner with it over the head and followed up with The Stroke for the win.

WINNER: Jarrett in 11:00.

STAR RATING: *

-Afterward Angle ran out promptly and suplexed Jarrett and then applied an anklelock. Foley said Angle and Steiner were taking it too far and he got into the ring. He bashed Angle with a chair. Angle and Steiner bailed out of the ring. West said one second Foley was making sense, the next second he does something crazy like that. Foley then KO'd Jarrett with a chairshot. Tenay threw to a late break, but promised an explanation from Foley afterward.

[Commercial Break]

-The replayed what Foley did to Jarrett. Then back in the ring, Jarrett said, "Mick Foley, bad decisions! Bad, bad decisions." He said he had no one to blame but himself. He said he knew when they brought him in six months ago that he was a whack job. He said it's now personal. He said, "Mick Foley, the next time I see you, I'm going to shove a pink slip up your damn ass." Then Bobby Lashley's music played and he stepped out onto the stage. Angle smiled and Jarrett expressed anguish. Tenay said he thinks Lashley must have a relationship with Angle and the Mafia. Although everyone has to keep in mind how not over Lashley was in WWE and how limited his promos and charisma was, they're doing a nice teaser by treating him as a big star and creating a mystery over whether he's with the Mafia or not.


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