By James Caldwell, PWTorch.com assistant editor

WWE - ECW on Sci-Fi TV Report
March 31, 2009 - Year 3, Week 43 (Week 147 overall)
Taped 3/30 in Dallas, Tex.

The show opened with Todd Grisham and Matt Striker introducing the final ECW before WrestleMania 25. And we start with Christian's theme music telling us to "go!" Christian out first, followed by Finlay and Hornswoggle for an opening tag match. Mark Henry was not in a good mood as he came to the ring with Tony Atlas, who seems to disappear into the background more and more every week. Grisham said he interviewed Henry a few weeks ago and he's not a big fan of --- boom! Kane's pyro shot off. Grisham said he's not a big fan of heights. Striker said Kane isn't a fan of Grisham. Striker then repeated himself three times and Grisham repeated what Striker said. So great. Put them on Raw.

1 -- CHRISTIAN & FINLAY (w/Hornswoggle) vs. MARK HENRY & KANE

Kane grappled Christian around the neck early, but Christian fought him off and tagged out to Finlay. Back and forth exchange, then they cut to break. Before officially breaking, they aired a Hall of Fame plug with official confirmation that Vince McMahon will induct Steve Austin on Saturday.

[Commercial Break]

They returned from break with Kane working over Finlay in the corner. Christian finally took a hot tag and wanted a cross-body on Henry, but Henry caught him in mid-air. Christian fought out, then Finlay and Christian executed a double-team dropkick on the big man from Silsbee, Texas. ChrisLay dumped Kane to the outside, then Christian wanted a top rope splash, but Henry caught him in mid-air for the World's Strongest Slam and the pin. Ouch.

Post-match: Henry pointed to the briefcase hanging above the ring. Kane, who won the MITB preview match on Monday, then joined Henry to gaze at the briefcase. Henry wasn't feeling that, so he clotheslined Kane to the mat so he could join Christian staring up at the lights.

WINNERS: Henry & Kane in 10:00. Fine match. Not a fan of Christian taking the loss without having enough offense to remain credible in the eyes of viewers when he's re-establishing a first impression, but WWE is obviously keeping the big men strong since they're not winning at MITB with an eye on post-Mania for the big men to be utilized in semi-to-main-event-level programs on Raw, Smackdown, ECW, or WGN. (*)

[Q2]

Announcers: Todd Grisham plugged "12 Rounds" and told us to watch the movie. Roll footage of a train car in Downtown New Orleans going nuts and only one man being able to save it. John Cena is...Detective Danny Fisher. Please watch it. ... After rolling footage, Grisham plugged Twin vs. Twin to preview the tag title unification match at WrestleMania 25.

[Commercial Break]

Hall of Fame plug: Steve Austin is coming to the Hall of Fame. Boss is being called Vince McMahon, not Mr. McMahon. Interesting.

Announcers: Striker plugged the special edition of WrestleMania in Variety Magazine. Grisham then plugged the WM line-up for Sunday. Person behind the announce desk bought a ticket for the wrong show with a "John Cena is Raw" sign. What's that? This was taped yesterday before Raw? That explains why Britney Spears's concert in Dallas tonight isn't airing live on ECW tonight. Just trying to fill space on an all-video-package show...

Taker-HBK Video: Roll footage of the Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker feud. An epic match-up. From Giant Gonzales to Triple H and all folks in between. It's a Battle for Texas. It's a battle between Heaven and Hell. It's a battle between Mr. WrestleMania and The Streak. Loooooong video package took us to commercial break.

[Commercial Break]

[Q3]

WM video package: Hey, let's check out Edge vs. John Cena vs. Big Show via video package. Back to No Way Out where Edge KO'ed Kofi Kingston to steal his slot in the World Title match to win the belt thanks to Vickie Guerrero. And then the messy love triangle of doom where John Cena blackmailed his way into a triple threat title match. And that was an entire segment. I'll take a Best of Evan Bourne highlight package right about now. Thanks.

[Commercial Break]

WM Video: Back to WrestleMania 23 on April 1, 2007 for John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels, Mr. Kennedy winning MITB, and Vince McMahon getting his head shaved. Was Bobby Lashley even in the match? Oh, there he is scoring the pin to set up Vince's head shaving as Donald Trump and Steve Austin watched.

Announcers: Grisham and Striker plugged Triple H vs. Randy Orton. Roll another video package from Raw. Orton back-tracked us through the previous two months of crazy storyline developments for WWE to throw the ol' Hail Mary pass downfield to try to make sense of Orton's master plan.

[Q4]

[Commercial Break]

Video package: Nicole of the Pussycat Dolls will be at WrestleMania 25. ... Hall of Fame is this Saturday. Anything else left to plug?

In-ring: Hey, look, some wrestling. Not Evan Bourne or Jack Swagger or Tyson Kidd, but divas action. Nikki Bella came out with Miz & Morrison first. John Morrison came to the ring texting on his phone. Apparently he's addicted to Twitter. Brie Bella then led out Carlito and Primo.

2 -- NIKKI BELLA (w/World tag team champions THE MIZ & JOHN MORRISON) vs. BRIE BELLA (w/WWE tag team champions PRIMO & CARLITO COLON)

Morrison was a little pre-occupied texting during the match. The boys started playing tag on the outside setting up a distraction in the ring where bad girl Nikki rolled up good girl Brie for the pin and the win. Brie was not pleased, so Miz made a sarcastic wipe-away-the-tears motion on the entrance ramp as Team Morrison celebrated victory. Morrison was still pre-occupied with himself to fit his character as the show closed.

WINNER: Nikki in 3:00. Just a standard, quick divas match advancing the tag title program leading to WrestleMania. (1/2*)

Overall thought: Perhaps if you've missed the entire WrestleMania build-up, you would have enjoyed this recap and diva show. Perhaps if you watch this on the DVR, you can set the record for fastest viewing of a wrestling show in history. If you sat through this live for an entire hour and make a living covering pro wrestling and have no way of fast-forwarding through live TV in real-time, then you're ready to pull your hair out.

We welcome your 0-10 score and comments on this show for an "ECW Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on ECW TV, click here.

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