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PARKS' WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 3/6: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of the show, including Big Show vs. Edge contract signing

Mar 6, 2009 - 9:00:54 PM
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by Greg Parks, PWTorch.com Contributor

WWE Smackdown review
March 6, 2009
Taped 3/3/09 in Uncasville, Conn.
Aired on MyNetwork TV



-The show began with clips of Edge’s interview and subsequent match with John Cena on Raw this past week.

-Smackdown Open.

-JR plugged the contract signing tonight between Edge and Big Show, and also, Umaga takes on Triple H.

-The Undertaker came out. During his entrance, they showed highlights of Michaels beating Kozlov from Raw. Taker said in the past, he was the one in pursuit of men to fight, but now, it’s the other way ‘round. He said that upsets him. Some in the crowd started an “HBK” chant. Taker said the streak is something he never speaks of, but Wrestlemania is the night he shows his peers what it is he represents. He said there is a lust for endless souls to line up and make a name for themselves at his expense. Michaels’ name elicited some boos from the crowd; Taker accepted his challenge. A video package aired right after Taker accepted of HBK and his history at Wrestlemania. Back to the arena, where Taker was still in the ring with the mic. He said HBK was trying to play mind games with him (I guess by getting production to air that video). Taker said that for 16 Wrestlemanias, everyone in front of him has fallen. He said HBK’s fate would be no different. Taker said he’d show the meaning of what he once told HBK: “Sometimes it’s hell trying to get to heaven.” Solid promo establishing the base of the feud here.

-Still to come, Jeff and Matt Hardy will attempt, in separate matches, to qualify for Money-in-the-Bank.

[Commercial Break]

-A Wrestlemania III video aired. Haven’t we seen that one before?

-Vickie Guerrero was backstage on the phone worried about hearing from someone, likely Edge. Jeff Hardy walked in asked Jeff if he was sure he didn’t want to face Matt. He reiterated that he didn’t want to. Vickie said if she were him, she’d want to face him. Jeff said she wasn’t him and that he’d win the MITB and become champion.

-Matt Hardy came out for his qualifying match and did some pre-match mic work. He said Jeff was running from his problems by not facing him, but that he can’t run from him. Matt said if they’re both in the MITB match, he’d finally get his hands on Jeff. He also noted that he’d win the match. Good thing they didn’t lose sight of that.

1- MATT HARDY vs. MVP - MONEY-IN-THE-BANK QUALIFYING MATCH

MVP applied a waist-lock early on and had the crowd behind him quickly and, ironically, like Matt used to. Corner clothesline by Matt, but MVP shrugged off a bulldog attempt. He went for the Playmaker less than two minutes in, but he couldn’t hit it. They ended up having a stand-off as the show continues.

[Commercial Break]

Matt had MVP in a reverse chinlock on the mat. They showed how Matt got control during the break. Shades of Big Bossman as Hady sat down on MVP’s back with Montel Vontavious Porter’s throat draped over the middle rope. He took MVP down to the ground again. Overhead throw by MVP. MVP took Matt’s face and jammed it into his knee in a move that really hit. Roll-up by MVP for two. Side Effect by Hardy to regain control. He set up for the Twist of Fate, but MVP countered into a jacknife cover and got the pin.

WINNER: MVP, at 7:57. Ah, takes me back to the days of the great Matt vs. MVP feud.

-Later tonight, Jeff Hardy faces Shelton Benjamin in a MITB Qualifying Match. I’m betting he loses that one.

-Also tonight, a contract signing between Big Show and Edge will take place.

[Commercial Break]

-JR and Tazz talked about the high ratings Smackdown has been getting on MyNetwork TV.

-A Dirt Sheet vignette aired where Miz and Morrison made fun The Colon Brothers. They must be looking for more hits on dot com since they aired the Dirty Awards on ECW this week too. Next week, Miz & Morrison’s titles are on the line when they face Primo & Carlito.

-Michelle McCool was at the announce table as guest commentator for the next match. Maryse came out for her match, then we got a WWE Rewind of this past week’s incident on Raw with the divas. Odd place to put that, but we’ll have Maryse in action next.

[Commercial Break]

-An Umaga hype video aired. JR once again previewed Triple H vs. Umaga later tonight.

2- MARYSE vs. EVE TORRES

Maryse tried to do the test of strength and God bless Eve, she fell for it. Maryse pulled her hand away, then went into the ropes for a break, then gyrated for a bit. In slow motion, Even leap-frogged Maryse then hit an enziguiri on her. Maryse went to the outside, and suckered Eve back into the ring. Michelle did some dissing of both ladies on commentary. When Maryse is the veteran hand in the ring, you’re in trouble. Not that she isn’t good, but I don’t think she’s good enough to carry someone as green as Eve. Dropkick by Eve that caught Maryse’s.....well, hand I guess. To the middle rope, but Eve missed a cross-body. Nice DDT by Maryse to finish it.

WINNER: Maryse, at 3:26. A step back for Eve this week. Not a good match.

Right after the match, Melina ran out to attack Maryse. Michelle McCool came from the announce table to throw Melina shoulder-first into the ring post.

-Up next, the contract signing with Edge and Big Show.

[Commercial Break]

-AC/DC, who is contributing Wrestlemania’s official theme song, has their album “Black Ice” in stores now.

-Vickie Guerrero was in the ring talking about the Big Show vs. Edge match when Edge’s music hit and he came out. Edge said he’s not going to sign anything until he knows the truth: What’s the deal with her and Big Show? Vickie said she loved Edge and that she was worried about him this week. She said her relationship with Show is strictly professional. Edge said he got all the messages she left, but things don’t compute, since when he was away for a few months, Big Show “took care of her.” Then they dropped the bombshell on him this past Monday. Edge accused Vickie of trying to make him look like an idiot. She said she’d never embarrass him. Edge asked why Show; of all the people, why did she choose him? Looks like Show is going to answer that question himself as he came out.

Show said it was time Edge learned the truth. He said the truth is Edge isn’t a good champion. Show said he survives by the skin of his teeth every time. On the other hand, Show dominates and demolishes people in his way, making him worthy of being someone who is World Heavyweight Champion. Show said what’s going on between he and Vickie is strictly business. She knows Show will be a better champion than Edge, hence the reason she made the match. Edge said if that’s all it is, then he apologizes. Edge told Show that just because he’s the largest athlete in the world doesn’t mean he’s as good as an eight-time World Champion. Edge said he’s faster, smarter and overall better than Big Show. Edge said he was more of a man than Show will ever be. Show said they’d find out and Edge was about to sign the contract when John Cena’s music blared through the Mohegan Sun and he entered the arena.

Cena ran into the ring and clocked Show and Edge. He hit Show with the belt and avoided a spear by Edge, hitting him with the table that was set up in the ring. Cena stared at Vickie in the corner, then whispered something to her as the entire arena went quiet. She seemed horrified and a bit shocked by what he said. Cena then celebrated without saying anything and headed up the ramp. Let the speculation begin!

-Still to come, Triple H faces Umaga.

-Also, we’ll find out the latest inductee into the H.O.F. class of 2009 next.

[Commercial Break]

-We saw what happened moments ago when John Cena cleaned house.
-They showed the inside of the Mohegan Sun Casino.

-The Bill Watts H.O.F induction video aired.

-Backstage in Vickie’s office, Edge ranted that he was so sick of Cena interfering in his business. He wanted Vickie to use her power to stop it, then asked for the contract to sign it. Vickie nervously said they’d sign it next week on Raw. She was in tears, telling Edge she needed space.

-Next, Jeff Hardy faces Shelton Benjamin in a MITB Qualifying Match.

[Commercial Break]

-A video on Wrestlemania 21 aired, including clips of those fantastic movie-like vignettes.

3- JEFF HARDY vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN- MONEY-IN-THE-BANK QUALIFYING MATCH

Northern Lights Suplex about 30 seconds in for Benjamin, which got two. Hardy went off the ropes and Shelton ducked a cross-body attempt, which sent Hardy to the floor. Hardy turned the tables on the outside and flung himself off the stairs and into Shelton. Both men were down as the show went to break.

[Commercial Break]

Shelton had Jeff by the hair out of break and had Hardy in a chin-lock, with his knee stuck right in Jeff’s back. Pin attempt for Shelton got two. Hardy came back to hit the double legdrop right in the lower abdomen of Benjamin. Low dropkick for two. As Jeff continued his onslaught, Matt Hardy wandered down to ringside. He climbed up the steps as Jeff hit Whisper in the Wind. Matt caught his eye but Jeff didn’t go for him. A terrible Twist of Fate was hit by Jeff, then Matt entered the ring. The brothers went face-to-face, then Matt punched Shelton, causing referee Chad Patton to throw out the match.

WINNER: Benjamin, at 9:28. I know I’ve said this before, but things like that should be left to the referee’s discretion; it shouldn’t be an automatic DQ when it’s obvious someone like Matt is trying to get the other guy disqualified. I know it’s not REAL but WWE should set things up so it would make a little more sense.

After the match, Matt turned his back on Jeff, paused, then walked out of the ring.

-Highlights aired of the HHH-Randy Orton feud.

-Up next, Triple H faces Umaga.

[Commercial Break]

-The trailer for “12 Rounds” aired.


-Triple H made his grand entrance for the main event against Umaga.

[Commercial Break]

4- TRIPLE H vs. UMAGA

HHH started out hot, socking Umaga in the head with a bevy of right hands. Umaga returned the shots with headbutts. Whip into the corner, but HHH came out with a vengeance, clotheslining the Samoan Bulldozer. Umaga nailed The Game with a superkick. JR questioned whether or not Trips could recover from the kick. Legdrop by Umaga for two. HHH came back with a knee to Umaga’s face. Thrust to the throat of The Game allowed Umaga time to recover. Trips low-bridged him and Umaga dove over the top rope and to the outside of the ring. Out of nowhere, The Legacy ran threw the crowd and surrounded the ring. HHH held off Cody Rhodes, but Dibiase and Orton came in to attack and the numbers game got the best of him for a while. The ref is nowhere to be seen, so let’s call it....

WINNER: Triple H via DQ, at about 3:30 (no bell).

Trips took Dibiase out of the ring, but Rhodes was right there to capitalize on the outside. Triple H took Orton and both of them tumbled over the announce table. Back in the ring, the three of them cornered The Game. He came out attacking, eviscerating Orton with a spear until the rest of Legacy could pry him off. They continued their beat-down of HHH as JR equated the three men to a pack of jackals. HHH continued to fight, but it seemed all for naught as Orton Garvin Stomped him. Orton had a deranged look in his eye and he did some trash talking to Triple H as Dibiase and Rhodes held his arms. Kick right to the head of The Game. And another. This begs the question why he doesn’t just give HHH the concussion kick. Instead, he just put the bottom of his foot to Triple H’s skull. See, this is what happens when you don’t have friends, HHH. Except Michaels, but I’m sure he’s not there. Dibiase and Rhodes left the ring while Orton knelt over Triple H. “Randy sucks” chant from the crowd. Triple H couldn’t even just lie there prone, he was reaching up for Orton and still moving around. Orton stared menacingly into the camera and out at the crowd. Either snot or drool was coming from Triple H. That was a camera shot I could’ve done without. Orton just soaked in all the jeers and took his time leaving the ring. It appeared Trips was foaming at the mouth. A little overkill there it seems. Trips kept crawling toward Orton, who looked with pleasure at the pain he caused to end the show.

Greg Parks has been covering Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. You can also hear him every-other-week in the post-Raw audio show Monday nights in the Torch VIP audio section. Check out his column each week in the PDF-exclusive version of the Torch Newsletter. Comments, questions and feedback are welcome, and can be sent to g_man9784@yahoo.com.


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