By James Caldwell, PWTorch.com assistant editor

WWE's ECW on Sci-Fi TV Report
March 3, 2009 - Year 3, Week 39 (Week 143 overall)
Taped in Boston, Mass.
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist

The show opened with a video package recapping Jack Swagger's successful ECW Title defense against Christian on last week's show. Tonight, we have Swagger & Miz & Morrison vs. Finlay & Tommy Dreamer & Christian. Big six-man tag.

In-ring: Kane came to the ring for the opening match as Matt Striker plugged the Saturday night TV premiere of "See No Evil." Striker said it was one of his favorite movies ever. Grisham basically said he wet his pants. Next freak out was Boogeyman for a battle of big men. Kane was not amused by Boogey's antics.

1 -- KANE vs. THE BOOGEYMAN

Bell sounded and Boogey slowly approached Kane with some worms in hand. A small token of gratitude, but Kane met him with a sudden uppercut. Boogey recovered and went up top, but Kane caught him in mid-air for a one-hand chokeslam in center ring. Kane with the cover for the decisive win.

WINNER: Kane in 2:00. Well, there went Boogeyman. So, back to page one of rebuilding Boogey via five straight weeks of squash matches? Perhaps it's time to acknowledge the need to repackage Boogey. Kane was impressive, however. (1/2*)

Tonight: Santino vs. Henry in a MITB qualifying match.

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Mark Henry came to the ring with Tony Atlas. He slowly entered the ring and surveyed the briefcase hanging above the ring. Santino then came out with his lady friends to challenge Henry for a qualifier. Striker called Santino one of the most entertaining men in WWE. Wonderful. Santino took the mic and said Henry might be the World's Strongest Man, but women love his physique. They worship his biceps and freak out over his abs. And they go nuts for the curvature of his glutumus. He could have been Mr. America...or Mr. Italy...or even a lifeguard on Baywatch. He could have saved tons of folks, but no one can save Henry. Henry was unfazed. Off we go.

[Q2]

2 -- SANTINO MARELLA (w/Rosa Mendes and Beth Phoenix) vs. MARK HENRY (w/Tony Atlas)

Bell sounded and Henry stonewalled Santino with a chest bump. Santino rolled to the outside to recover, then Henry and Beth exchanged a few firm glances. Santino tried to attack Henry in the ring with a burst of steam, but Henry no-sold. He was not amused. Henry finally had enough and scooped up Santino for the World's Strongest Slam. Santino was hilarious going completely stiff in center ring. Henry with the cover on Santino for the win. He then pointed to the briefcase hanging above the ring.

WINNER: Henry in 2:00. Punk, Henry, and Kane have qualified for MITB now. WWE needs to add some speed in this one. It could be fun to watch Henry climb a ladder and/or ragdoll some folks around, though. Santino was fine playing the comedy fool. (1/2*)

[Commercial Break]

Evan Bourne video promo: "No Limits." Of the X Division? Plenty of high-flying action showcased, then the graphic said he's returning...soon.

Dirt Sheet segment: Miz & Morrison handed out their Dirtys Awards. Biggest Virgin: Evan Bourne, D.J. Gabriel, or Festus. And the winner is Evan Bourne. Fake Bourne (Morrison dressed up) celebrated the victory. Best Musical Performance nominees were Miz & Morrison doing a rap, R-Truth being R-Truth, or Colons doing the butt. Winners were Miz & Morrison. Best Internet Video nominees were Dirt Sheet, Word Up, and Santino's Casa. Surprise...Dirt Sheet won. Random!

Raw Rebound: They focused on Hunter vs. Orton being set up for WrestleMania. Remember, Triple H isn't a good person. He wasn't happy for Orton's success. Sweet. They integrated the clip from 2004 when Evolution turned on Orton after Batista received the thumbs down instructions.

In-ring: Alicia Fox led D.J. Gabriel to the ring for a divas match. Cue up a Scott D'Amore look-alike doing the electric slide in the bleacher seats. Not pretty. Natalya is back in the ring, as she has the assignment against Fox.

[Commercial Break]

[Q3]

3 -- NATALYA (w/Tyson Kidd) vs. ALICIA FOX (w/D.J. Gabriel)

Grisham said Fox is very green, with it being only her second singles match in WWE. Natalya worked over Fox center ring, then Fox came back with a standing dropkick. Nice execution. Natalya backed off, then kicked Fox in the gut and landed a powerslam out of the corner. Natalya put Fox in an abdominal stretch, then Gabriel tried to fire up the crowd. Fox escaped, then made a comeback with a clothesline and roll up with a bridge for a two count. Fox tried a huracanrana, but Natalya blocked and slapped on the Sharpshooter. Natalya leaned deep into that hold and Fox was forced to tap out.

Post-match: Gabriel was checking on Fox, then Kidd tried to jump Gabriel from behind. Gabriel fought him off, though, and uppercutted Kidd to the floor. Both sides recovered to apparently set up a mixed tag in the next week or two.

WINNER: Natalya in 4:00. Really nice match. Alicia is solid in only her second TV match. Natalya is already the "steady hand" in the women's division, taking the ball from Victoria. Natalya has a lot of upside. (*1/4)

12 Rounds plug: After Striker made sport of Grisham for his "professional transition" into a "12 Rounds" plug, they aired the trailer that aired on Raw. Movie hits theaters on March 27. ... Up next: six-man tag main event.

[Commercial Break]

WWE Hall of Fame announcement: They replayed the Bill Watts induction after plugging the "Legends of WrestleMania" video game due out later this month. Striker then talked briefly about the Watts induction.

In-ring: ECW champion Jack Swagger came out first for the six-man tag main event. Swagger was very excited to show off his ECW Title belt to the ringside fans. One fan took advantage of his apparent lisp with a "Jack Thwagger" sign. World tag champs Miz & Morrison came out to round out the heel trio. Christian came out first for the babyface trio as Grisham and Striker talked about Christian taking Swagger to the limit last week for the ECW Title. Tommy Dreamer out next, which promoted Grisham to joke that he finally won a match last week. Finally, Finlay and Horny came out. Grisham called it the IHOP team of a Canadian, Irishman, and American.

[Q4]

4 -- FINLAY (w/Hornswoggle) & CHRISTIAN & TOMMY DREAMER vs. ECW champion JACK SWAGGER & World tag team champions MIZ & MORRISON

A minute into the match, Hornswoggle jumped through the ropes with a splash onto the tag champs. Chaos ruled, and off to a commercial.

[Commercial Break - Next week on Raw: how does John Cena find his way back to WrestleMania?]

Back from break, IHOP was working over Miz in the ring. Grisham made the astute observation on the other side of the break that Miz has no reason to wear batting gloves to a wrestling match. Dreamer then tagged in for IHOP and dropped an elbow on Miz. Striker with an excellent enhancement point that Christian went through intense physical therapy after last week's shoulder work from Swagger in order to compete in the ring tonight. All we needed was a video package on Christian training. Dreamer lost control for IHOP when he turned his attention to Miz allowing Morrison to nail a step-up enziguiri kick.

At 10:00, anti-IHOP continued its attack on Dreamer. Swagger nailed a belly-to-belly suplex, but Dreamer kicked out in time. Swagger wanted a second rope dive, but Dreamer got his knees up. He finally escaped and hot-tagged Christian, who came in hot on Morrison. Christian accidentally bumped into Finlay, but he ducked attacks from Mo and Miz before nailing a float-over sunset flip on Mo for a close two count. Christian then kicked Mo in the face before going to the second rope for a sweet-looking tornado DDT.

Action broke down, then Christian nailed Morrison with a diving headbutt. He made the cover, but Miz broke up the pin. Finlay got involved and took Miz to the floor. Mo and Christian battled in center ring, but Swagger took a blind tag in the process. Christian nailed Mo with the Killswitch, but Swagger snuck in behind Christian to hit the gutwrench powerbomb for the pin and the win. Afterward, Swagger gloated, Miz celebrated, and Morrison tried to figure out what state he was in. Swagger gloating like only the ECW champ can was our final shot to close the show.

WINNERS: Team Swagger in 13:00. Excellent finish. Christian looks so revitalized compared to when he was going through the motions at the end of his TNA run. He made himself stand out since he was booked to lose the match, which is what a good wrestler should do to make the pre-pinfall action more important than the result. Swagger has momentum back with the straight-up win last week and sneaky victory this week. Swagger vs. Christian at WrestleMania could be a really great undercard match. (***)

We welcome your 0-10 score and comments on this show for an "ECW Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on ECW TV, click here.

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