TV REPORTS CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 1/22: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Spike TV broadcast
Jan 22, 2009 - 10:00:36 PM
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by James Caldwell, Assistant editor
TNA Impact on Spike TV
January 22, 2009
Taped Jan. 19 in Orlando, Fla.
Report by James Caldwell, PWTorch assistant editor
The show started with instructions to Cross the Line. Cue up a video package on last week's show focusing on the Main Event Mafia, then Team 3D's promos. Tonight: "The End of the Original?"
Announcers: Mike Tenay and Don West quickly went through the top three matches of the show in such rapid-fire fashion that it didn't sink in. First Blood in there somewhere. Mix in a Styles vs. Angle tables match. In any event, we start with a four-way X Division Title match with zero hype after the Division was dismissed last week.
1 -- X Division champion ALEX SHELLEY vs. CHRIS SABIN vs. SHEIK ABDUL BASHIR vs. SONJAY DUTT (w/So Cal Val) -- X Division Title match
Reinstated ref Sewell has the ref assignment tonight. Apparently there's a deal where Sheik and Dutt are working together. Ya know, for the same reasons Kong, Bolt, and Rhaka are together. Dutt and Bashir decided to let the Guns start off against other, then they snuck in behind after an initial stand-off. At 4:00, Sharmell walked down to ringside to get a close look at the action, presumably due to Shane's presence as ref since Shane confronted Booker T at the PPV. Dutt scored a nearfall at 5:00, then Shelley awkwardly rolled him up from behind with Sabin occupying Sheik to score the pin and the win.
WINNER: Shelley in 6:00 to retain the X Division Title. Fine action, but too many attempted highspots without any flow to tell a memorable story. They just need to find one solid storyline within the Division to focus on, and start re-building the division. Otherwise, these matches are just there to be there. (*)
Post-match: Sharmell demanded Shane meet him in his locker room right now. Shane was confused, so Sharmell repeated herself.
Backstage: Kurt Angle led the Main Event Mafia out of their locker room and down the hallway for an upcoming talking segment.
[Commercial Break]
Backstage: Pick it up inside Booker T's locker room where Booker addressed Shane while Jeremy Borash and Sharmell stood by. Booker told Shane to chill out and relax. He said he's been in this business 17 years and he knows a little bit about him from Puerto Rico, but around here, they do things a little different. He said Shane did something out of order last week by putting his hands on the TNA Legends champion.
Sharmell calmed Booker down when he got worked up, then Booker went to business. Tonight, Shane is the ref in his match and he doesn't want to bury him right now. Just do him a favor - at the end of the match, make sure it's just him, Steiner, and Petey Williams left in the ring to run clean-up service. Booker told Nick Patrick Shane to think about it. He asked for understanding, but Shane walked off.
[Q2]
Impact Zone: Kurt Angle led TNA World champ Sting and Scott Steiner to the ring for a suit-and-tie talking segment. Angle said things didn't work out as planned last week. With Team 3D over in Japan right now and Mick Foley over in Europe, they will get theirs next week. Tonight, though, justice will prevail tonight with Petey Williams and A.J. Styles. Angle said they thought Petey was gone and buried, but then he shows up seeking revenge on Steiner. He said this isn't Oz and munchkins don't rule around here in TNA - the house that the Main Event Mafia built.
Angle turned to Styles and said payback is a female dog tonight because after being put through a table last week, he's going to put Styles through a table in their match, then the Mafia is going to put Styles out permanently. Moving along to Against All Odds, he wanted to know who died and let Team 3D become bookers? He said he doesn't care how many tag titles they've won because they can take their challenges and stick 'em straight up their fatasses. He said there is no way he's wrestling Devon and there's no way Sting is wrestling Brother Ray.
Sting then asked for some mic time. "Excuse me, mister...um...godfather, I'll speak for myself." Sting said he's not going to let anyone tell him who he can and cannot wrestle. Angle was taken aback. Sting then whispered in Angle's ear about something. Suddenly, some death-like music hit and Jim Cornette walked out. A rib on Corny? Sounded like something for James Mitchell.
Cornette said Team 3D doesn't have the authority to book matches in TNA, but he does. He said it's not going to be Sting vs. Ray and Devon vs. Angle, but it will be a four-way match for the TNA Title. First pin is World champion. Angle was disturbed. Steiner was confused. Sting was non-reactionary. Cornette said they just watched a four-way to show how you win one of those matches where one guy makes the sacrifice to let the other win. The question is whether Angle can let Sting get the pin at Against All Odds. He said there might just be a death in the family at the PPV.
[Commercial Break]
Video package: They focused on Scott Steiner putting Petey Williams through his initiation to become little Petey, then Steiner turning on Petey when he joined the Mafia and beat him down, before Petey made his grand comeback on Impact last week. Now, we get Booker & Steiner vs. Petey & Eric Young.
Earlier today: Petey Williams took off his sunglasses to get serious and say this is personal now. He was still wearing the headdress, which made it difficult to take him seriously as he cut a serious promo on Steiner about needing to worry about him tonight. He then took off the headdress, thankfully, and said Steiner needs to holler at him. He shouted a profanity into the camera, which generated a mad-face from interviewer Lauren. There's your wonderful babyface screaming and cussing like Rhino or Matt Morgan.
[Q3]
Announcers: Mike Tenay brought in Team 3D via satellite from Japan for an interview. He congratulated them on winning the IWGP tag titles. A Japanese flag was in the background on the wall to make it seem like they were actually there. Ray said winning the IWGP straps at the Tokyo Dome was like winning at MSG. Don West then broke the news from Jim Cornette about a four-way at the PPV. Ray laughed as Don answered like a bad SNL skit. "Who decided this?" Pause. Head bob. "Jim Cornette." Had to be there for that one.
Ray said that's why Cornette does what he does and this is why they do what they do. Tenay then asked Ray who wins the TNA Title. Suddenly, the audio cut out as Ray was explaining whether he or Devon would try to win. They cut back to very confused broadcasters, and Tenay sent it to break. I'll reserve judgment until we get a follow-up, but that whole deal was something out of the bad early-'90s WCW skit.
[Commercial Break]
Backstage: Jeremy Borash was inside the Mafia locker room for an interview segment sans Kurt Angle. Booker pumped himself up, then Borash asked Sting for a scoop on the deal with Angle. Sting smiled, then said this is all about respect. Borash standing there disrespecting them to their faces trying to stir it up is a blatant lack of respect. They're all on the same page, man. They're going to keep moving forward. Same speed and intensity. Sting and Booker repeated "respect" while Steiner stood by quiet. Sting walked off, then Steienr got his promo time. He said his offense is impeccable and his defense in impenetrable.
Steiner went to Make-believe Muscle, Petey Williams, after he cost him a match last week. Steiner addressed Foley and Cornette because he will not be responsible for what happens tonight. He walked off, then Booker quietly said "respect."
Sojo Rough Cut week 2: Sojourner Bolt was profiled for getting involved in the Awesome Kong contract challenge last year. Borash said there was something very different about this girl. Sojo said she is 100 percent the real deal and she wears fake nails, but when she kicks you in the gut and in the back, that's real. Terry Taylor said she's almost in-your-face telling you who she is. Sojo asked for the camera to come up real close. She addressed everyone in the back and all the girls watching on home that you have to work at it hard and if you want a piece, then meet me in the ring. We out.
2 -- SOJOURNER BOLT vs. ODB
It's been like half-an-hour since we had a match here. No Kongtourage out with Bolt tonight. Tenay announced ODB vs. Kong for the Knockouts Title at the Against All Odds PPV. Sojo jumped ODB from behind to jump-start the action. A few minutes into the action, Awesome Kong stormed the ring and put the boots to ODB to cause a DQ. Post-match: Kong gave ODB the implant buster while the Kongtourage came into the ring. Roxxi and Taylor Wilde then stormed the ring to clear the heels as back-up for ODB.
WINNER: ODB via DQ in 3:00. We finally get a match on this show and it ends with a DQ in a few minutes. Eh. Same chapter, different paragraph with this feud that will never end. (n/a)
[Q4]
Backstage: Lauren brought in fake governor Palin, who continued to keep up the Palin accent while recapping everything she put Angelina and Velvet through. Suddenly, Angelina and Velvet jumped "Palin" and beat her down. They threw her down some steps to the prop area where they utilized some weapons and verbal attacks to inflict a physical and emotional beating. More cursing bleeped out, then security tried to intervene. Cute Kip James, sporting an odd purple beanie, then screamed at them to stop. He took them by the hand and led them away.
[Commercial Break]
3 -- MAIN EVENT MAFIA (SCOTT STEINER & Legends champion BOOKER T w/Sharmell) vs. FRONTLINE (ERIC YOUNG & PETEY WILLIAMS) -- Elimination match
Before the match started, Don West mentioned the Team Canada connection between Petey and Eric Young. First time I've thought of A-1 in probably a year. Match started with Young and Booker exchanging holds. Mafia took control and started working over Young in their corner. They eventually beat him down to score an easy pinfall on Young, leaving Petey by himself against the Mafia.
[Commercial Break]
[Q5 -- second hour]
Back from break at the top of the hour, they recapped how the Mafia beat down on Petey during the commercial. Steiner talked trash, then chucked Petey over the top rope, but Petey skinned the cat back into the ring and landed right hand blows on Steiner. Petey tried to land a ton of blows on Steiner to pummel him, but Steiner ducked to the floor for a breather.
Booker then got his tag to get a piece of Petey. He quickly subdued Petey before landing trademark chops to the chest. He missed with a leg scissors, though, and Petey landed a dropkick for a two count. Booker came right back with a powerslam before pulling up on a pin attempt to inflict more damage. Steiner tagged in and Petey landed a tornado DDT, but Steiner kicked out. Petey wanted the Destroyer, but Booker superkicked him to set up Steiner for a top rope fallaway slam. Steiner had the pin, but he pulled up to inflict more damage.
At 11:00, Booker had another pin, but he pulled up before a three count. Booker then delivered the axe kick in center ring to KO Petey. He had the pin and decided to get the three count this time. Afterward, Shane was upset with the treatment of Petey there. He then raised Booker and Steiner's hands in victory while shaking his head in disgust. Booker suddenly slapped Shane across the face and talked trash to him. Shane then Shaned Up and spun around to punch Booker. Steiner cut him off, though, and Booker gave him the book-end in center ring. Shane took a beating, then ref Earl Hebner tried to make the save, but he was scared of Steiner and Booker, who snapped on Shane. Sharmell tried to talk some sense into him as Hebner finally was able to enter the ring to check on Shane.
WINNERS: Booker & Steiner in 12:00. Very dominating victory for the Mafia to re-establish control. Also a case study in how to book a babyface to look sympathetic and ready to see him get revenge (Shane) and how to book a babyface to look pathetic for not being able to back-up a sneak attack (Petey). (*3/4)
[Commercial Break]
Video package: They focused on the often-times volatile relationship between Matt Morgan and Abyss. Perhaps Morgan doesn't have the patience to deal with ol' Abyss. Back to the Impact Zone where Abyss came out to the ring. Lauren was in the ring for an interview. That's got to be a first. Lauren stirred things up talking to Morgan about his temper problem and taking it out on Abyss. He breathed a deep sigh and said this has been his Achilles tendon forever. Morgan said more important than losing all of his incentives from pro contracts, is that he might have lost his best friend last week. Crowd did a big "awwwww" while Abyss stroked his hair.
[Q6]
Morgan said he's a big enough man to admit he was wrong and said he can only beg for his forgiveness. He called him "Abby." Apparently Abyss has ascended to the level of Abdullah the Butcher. Not buying it. Morgan said he's sorry, then he extended a hand to be ready to take on the tag champs for the belts tonight. They hugged it out, then Abyss accepted the apology. He said he has a bad temper, which is why he goes to therapy.
Abyss said from here on, they can start going to therapy together. Morgan was a little hesitant, but shrugged his shoulders yes. He said he can get the special two-for-one discount coupon. Oh, it will be glorious. Just glorious. He said he has his whole family back - his bf, Matt, and his gf, Lauren. Abyss then lifted her into the air and swung her around in the ring before apologizing for disrupting her night. She collected her breath and said it was all good. Morgan and Abyss hugged it out one more time. We need to revisit the Bruce Mitchell column on certain male-male relationships in TNA after this segment.
[Commercial Break]
4 -- TNA tag team champions BEER MONEY, INC. (ROBERT ROODE & JAMES STORM) vs. ABYSS & MATT MORGAN -- First Blood non-title match
BMI came to the ring after the break, but the male companions attacked the champs on the ramp to start a ringside brawl. Tenay and West said refs are standing around with towels to check for the first blood in this one. The action moved to the ring where Abyss wedged a chair in the turnbuckles to set up Roode, but Roode blocked a corner splash and hit a Blockbuster from the middle rope. Roode then landed right hand blows on Abyss, but no blood. Roode then took the chair to the face missing in the corner on Abyss, but no blood.
Morgan brought Storm back into the ring and landed elbow smashes, but no blood. Roode and Abyss battled to the floor and Roode got the better of that to re-enter the ring and smash Morgan with a belt shot. No blood, though. Abyss then walked back into the ring and took a kick from Storm. He wanted the Last Call superkcik, but Abyss blocked and nailed a chokeslam. BMI then tried to double-team Abyss and they nailed a suplex. Roode wanted a chairshot, but Morgan grabbed the chair from behind and cleared the heels to the corner. What came next was the inevitable of Morgan turning on Abyss with a chair shot to the head that opened up Abyss's forehead to give BMI the win.
Post-match: Morgan licked his lips and then opened up Abyss with a flurry of punches and kicks. Morgan cleared out the mall cops trying to run security, then the camera focused on the leaky faucet releasing blood from Abyss's forehead. Morgan landed another chair shot to the head. Yes, more chair shots to the head involving Abyss because Abyss desperately wants to be lumped in that "Abdullah, Funk, Foley" category. Morgan shouted down to Abyss that he did this to himself.
WINNERS: Beer Money in 6:00. All about the follow-up with Abyss and Morgan. Match was standard brawl-around-the-arena TNA fare. (*1/4)
[Q7]
[Commercial Break]
Moments Ago: Matt Morgan turned on Abyss and beat him down before landing two chair shots. They showed Abyss being helped to the back before he snapped on the mall cops to start pounding his fists into anything he could get his hands on. Abyss charged the cameraman and shoved him down before they cut to ringside for Tenay and West to discuss Abby and Mo finally reaching the exploding point in their relationship. Later tonight, Styles vs. Angle.
Video package: They focused on the Angle vs. Styles feud with a "history written in blood." They re-introduced Tomko and Karen Angle to the storylines to show how Angle and Styles's relationship fell apart. Tonight promises to be another classic, said the voice-over man.
Backstage: Five minutes until Styles vs. Angle in tables action. Borash brought in Kurt Angle for a pre-match promo. Angle said he's given Styles way too many passes when he could have ended his career many times before, but he felt sorry for him. He said Styles took everything away from him - his marriage and family - so now he takes away Styles's career just like he ended Jarrett's two weeks ago. "Hey kid, you had a hell of a run," he said. Borash wanted the dirt on Sting before Angle left, but Angle shot him a look and they cut to break.
[Commercial Break]
Impact Zone: Kurt Angle came to the ring for the main event. A.J. Styles came out next after Angle surveyed the tables ringside as Tenay talked about the Mafia taking out the likes of Christian Cage and Samoa Joe in weeks prior. Angle ducked out of the ring to play the cowardly heel before re-entering the ring to start things off.
5 -- A.J. STYLES vs. KURT ANGLE -- Tables match
West pointed out Styles has virtually zero back-up tonight with Rhino still out with an injury from the PPV, Joe injured, Foley in Europe, and Jarrett out of commission. What about ODB? She's probably recovered from her beating. Match started with Angle on the offensive grounding Styles on the mat.
[Q8]
Before they cut to a break, Styles knocked Angle to the floor, then Angle tried to roll back into the ring to avoid Styles's offense and a potential trip through a table. Cut to break with Angle on the defensive.
[Commercial Break]
They returned from break with Angle in control and going for a table. West gave us a word on how dangerous the tables actually are when people take it for granted. Angle brought the furniture into the ring and Angle paused to survey a cut on his thumb. Deep cut at that, as the camera focused on blood coming out of his right palm near the thumb while Angle had a headlock on Styles. Angle unfolded the table at 8:00 and set up Styles for a top rope move through the wood, but Styles fought him off. They had a right-hand blow exchange before Styles crotched Angle on the edge of the table. Ouch.
At 10:00, Styles made his full-fledged comeback and stalked Angle for a potential trip through the wood, but Angle got to his feet and forearmed Styles to the ring apron. Styles answered with the springboard flying forearm that brushed Angle on the head. Styles wanted the Clash, but Angle blocked, only to have Styles roll through, but Angle countered with the anklelock. Styles escaped and then nailed a Pele kick on Angle. Styles put Angle on the table, then went up top, but Angle cat-quick hopped up top to block Styles. Angle then grappled Styles and nailed the Angle Slam through the table in center ring for the win.
WINNER: Angle in 12:00. Good, decisive TV main event. Styles had enough offense to remain credible before setting up the post-match. (**1/2)
Post-match: Angle celebrated the victory before stalking Styles as they replayed the finish. Angle wasn't done, as he grabbed a chair and started beating down Styles. He put Styles's left ankle inside a chair and stomped on the ankle to crush it. Angle then slapped on the anklelock to tear up the left ankle. Angle grape-vined that sucker and went into an Angle trance determined to take out Styles once and for all. Angle left the ring with Styles damaged, then he approached the announcers and grabbed a mic.
Angle stalked Tenay, who went silent, then asked them who they're afraid of. West whispered, "you." He said tonight is the beginning of the end of TNA. Angle said they're taking everyone out one-by-one starting next week. Time to mark some territory MEM-style. Angle stood on the announce table and said he's on top of the world. Styles was shown recovering in the ring as Angle stood tall on the table with his arms extended. Angle was in a crazed state as they faded out. Good cliffhanger for next week.
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