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KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
DECEMBER 27, 2008
AIRED ON MY NETWORK TV

[Q1]

-Triple H's ring intro kicked off the show. Jim Ross and Tazz introduced the show. Ross then called Triple H a "first-ballot Hall of Famer." Tazz called him "the measuring stick." Ross plugged that the scheduled main event would be Jeff Hardy vs. The Big Show. (Remember him?) Triple H had a sledgehammer in hand as he paced in the ring and soaked up cheers and chants. He said there are some things in life you don't do: Tug on Superman's cape, spit into the wind, or pull the mask off of the Lone Ranger, and "this." He pointed to the big screen where Vladimir Kozlov yanked him out of the ring by his legs as he had Edge covered late in the title match at Armageddon. "For that, there is a price to pay," he said. "And this is how I'll collect." He held up his sledgehammer. He pointed to a clip from last week of Triple H going after Kozlov. After beating on Kozlov last week, he grabbed his sledgehammer, but Kozlov slipped out of the ring and retreated.

Triple H said "almost" doesn't work for him, so he called him to the ring to finish it. Instead of Kozlov, Chavo Guerrero walked out. He said he was sent out onto the stage by Vickie Guerrero. He said she's not happy with him interfering in the Kozlov-Hardy match last week. He said she threatened to pull him from the Royal Rumble match if he interfered again, but she'd refuse to give him any future title shots. "This isn't Raw," Chavo said. "You don't call the shots. Vickie does." Triple H said he wishes Vickie would have told her herself, "but I guess maybe she couldn't fit through the door over there." Chavo retorted defensively: "She's on a diet. She'd fit." Triple H shifted to calling on Chavo's pride. He asked how he's become an "errand boy," a "go-fer." He said he now fetches coffee and doughnuts. "You gotta do what you gotta do," he said, adding that the Guerreros that he knew told people what they had to say to their face. Guerrero began to walk to the ring, but he noticed Triple H's sledgehammer and backed off. Vickie Guerrero then stepped out onto the stage. Chavo put his arm around her as she said she won't allow him to insult her nephew or disrespect their family. Chavo smiled broadly. She said Chavo learned from the very best and he'd prove it right now. She called for a referee. Out jogged Charles Robinson. Vickie booked Triple H vs. Chavo right now. "Gee, thanks Aunt Vickie," said Ross with a chuckle as a reluctant Chavo walked to the ring.

1 -- TRIPLE H vs. CHAVO GUERRERO

Triple H took it to Chavo early at ringside. Chavo surprised Triple H with a dropkick, though, as Triple H tried to re-enter the ring. Ross called it a cheapshot, but it really wasn't. Chavo hit Triple H with a cartwheel kick. Cool spot. Something innovative out of the usually rudimentary Chavo? Pinch me. Chavo yanked the top turnbuckle pad loose. Chavo grabbed a chair and threw it to Triple H as the ref was fixing the top turnbuckle pad. Unfortunately, unlike Eddie Guerrero, Chavo's plan didn't work since the ref didn't turn around in time to see Chavo lying on his back feigning being KO'd. Triple H threw the chair out of the ring and then tapped the ref on the soulder. Chavo struggled to his feet, but then when he accused Triple H of using a chair, the ref just shrugged his shoulder. Triple H gave Chavo a spinebuster and a Pedigree for the clean win. Afterward, Triple H jabbed Chavo in the chest with the butt-end of the sledgehammer while shooting Vickie a look.

WINNER: Triple H in 3:00. Fun little match. It perhaps diminishes Chavo to lose so quickly and easily to Triple H, but he's hardly being portrayed as much better these days than a jobber. Well booked and executed and worth a few laughs. Triple H cut a strong promo, too, leading into it. Vickie was her usual good self.

-Tazz plugged the U.S. Title challenge by Hurricane Helms against Shelton Benjamin later.

[Q2]

[Commercial Break]

-A Kizarny vignette aired. "It's Showtime Next Week," said the screen, so he's finally debuting next week. It seems as if his gimmick will be doing freak-show type of stunts before his matches. We'll see how far this can go beyond the one-note freak theme.

2 -- SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. HURRICANE HELMS - U.S. Title match

Shelton said before the match he has been the U.S. Champion since beating Matt Hardy at the Great American Bash. Helms's music interrupted. Ross said there's only been one U.S. Title in Canada's history. He said it was in Toronto in 1978 - Rick Steamboat vs. Ric Flair. Nice fact. It does prompt the question: What makes it a U.S. Title if it's defended in Canada, too? Helms did a superhero pose after a criss-cross, then said, "What's up with dat?" Shelton dove at him. Helms ducked. Tazz said Helms's head games flustered Shelton. Helms then dove off the top rope onto Shelton at ringside. That's the type of sequence that sets apart Helms and takes advantage of his personality and athleticism. Shelton came back with a catapult a minute later, but Helms landed on the middle rope. He dove at Shelton, but Shelton caught him and threw him hard into the corner. He scored a two count. They cut to a break at 3:00. Nice start.

[Commercial Break]

After the break, Shelton controlled Helms on the mat. Ross called Shelton "WWE's answer to Adrian Peterson."

[Q3]

Helms made a comeback at 8:00. Shelton ducked a Shining Wizard. Helms went for a leverage pin, though, for a two count. Shelton lifted Helms for a slam, but Helms escaped and dropped Shelton hard to the mat for a near fall. Nice sequence. Helms charged wit another Wizard attempt. Shelton ducked and went for a huracanrana, but Helms countered into another pin attempt. Tazz said Helms seems to have Shelton's number. Shelton went for a top rope sunset flip, but Helms avoided it and then nailed the Shining Wizard, leading to a near fall. Shelton fired back with a spinning kick and a running Paydirt for the win.

WINNER: Shelton in 11:00 to retain the U.S. Title.

STAR RATING: **3/4 -- Really nice TV match. I'd gladly watch a series of matches between those two if that's the type of effort they put in. That was so much better than the rudimentary matches between Helms and Matt Hardy a year ago. Shelton and Helms brought out the best in each other and seemed genuinely motivated.

-A video package aired on Hardy's WWE Title win. Hardy said, as his profile was shown on the screen and music continued playing: "You know, if you think about it, I'm not so different. I breathe the same air as you. I laugh, I cry, I scream at the top of my lungs when I feel the need." He said Vickie doesn't know him and shouldn't be convinced he's a screwup. He said he won't be denied. "The screwup has found his following." He said tonight Big Show drowns in the screams of Jeff Hardy. These heavily produced segments Hardy are hit or miss, but it's a unique presentation of his character, and better than regular promos which aren't his strength. What he says is often largely nonsense masked as something profound, but it works for the most part.

[Commercial Break]

-WWE Fact: Last Friday, more viewers watched SmackDown on MyNetworkTV than both NBA games on ESPN combined.

-Backstage, Carlito and Primo walked with the Bella Twins between them heading toward the entrance tunnel. Primo asked Carlito if he was going to win this time. Carlito said he wins all the time. "What about last time?" asked Primo. Carltio told Primo to focus.

3 -- BRIAN KENDRICK (w/Ezekiel Jackson) vs. CARLITO (w/Promo, Bella Twins)

Good pace early. Kendrick settled into a Boston crab half-nelson type of mat hold combo at 1:00. Carlito came back with a running knee, clothesline, and back elbow. Ross said he's trying to impress the ladies. So all along the way to get Carlito out of first or second gear has been to put hot women at ringside? When Carlito climbed to the top rope, Ezekiel moved toward him. Primo went after Ezekiel. Carlito jumped to ringside to stare down Ezekiel. That distraction opened the door for Kendrick to kick him from behind as he re-entered the ring. Carlito came right back with a Back Stabber for the win.

WINNER: Carlito in 2:00. Odd finish. They've worked hard to give Kendrick credibility lately, so losing so quickly to Carlito, who's been practically a jobber lately, seems lke a step back. If the match was longer, it'd have been a good finish, but it's tough to come back from a two minute clean loss to a borderline jobber.

[Q4]

-A video package aired on the Tribute to the Troops special including President Bush saying nice things about the troops.

[Commercial Break]

-Backstage, Edge chatted with Vickie Guerrero. He said they're in his hometown and people are telling him what a disgrace it is for Jeff Hardy to be WWE Champion. He said they're begging him to represent WWE with dignity, class, and morality. He said Hardy is a disgrace to the entire WWE and he can't stand it anymore. Big Show knocked and then walked into the room. Edge and Vickie stood up. Show said, "This is awkward." He said while Edge was gone, he was protecting Vickie and it was nothing personal, strictly business. Show said after he takes care of Hardy, he'll wrap him up like a nice little gift and it'll be permanent. He said if he does this favor for the two of them, he wants his own title shot. Edge shook his head no, but Vickie said, "You got it." As he began complaining to her, she held up her hand to his face. The fans laughed.

-Backstage, Michelle McCool told Maria - wearing her ref shirt - that they've known each other five years, and although they've had their differences, that's what girlfriends do and that's all in the past. McCool said nobody wants to see Maryse as the Divas Champion. Maria said she's going to call it down the middle. McCool said she's not expecting preferential treatment or anything, but she added that she's screwed up lately and it'd be a bad idea to screw up again. Maria held her smile, but was clearly not pleased with McCool's 'tood.

[Commercial Break]

-Ring intros took place for the Divas Title match.

[Q5]

4 -- MICHELLE MCCOOL vs. MARYSE -- Divas Title Match

Maria was the special referee. The fans didn't react much to the early action, which wasn't particularly graceful. Ross said regarding Maryse's arrogance, "If you can back it up, it's not arrogant." Actually, that's been said before, but it's not true. You can be good at something, but if you overstate or exaggerate the importance of what you're good at, you're pretty much - by definition - arrogant. The crowd literally sat silent enough that a few dozen disgruntled fans could be heard booing. Someone in post-production wanted to send a message to one of both of these women by not dubbing cheers into the match. This was as dead of a crowd as I've ever heard on WWE TV. Remarkably so. McCool hit a rolling neckbreaker for a near fall. She protested afterward because Maria seemed a second late beginning her count. Maryse kicked her from behind for the win.

WINNER: Maryse in 4:00 to capture the Divas Championship.

STAR RATING: 1/2*

-After the match Maria consoled McCool. McCool dropkicked Maria from behind as Maria began to leave the ring. Ross called it "uncalled for" and asked, "What did Maria do so wrong?" The beating went on and on with McCool eventually tossing Maria around ringside.

[Commercial Break]

-A vignette aired hyping the pending return of Umaga to Smackdown.

-Ross hyped Jeff Hardy vs. Big Show as the TV main event.

[Q6]

5 - MVP vs. THE GREAT KHALI (w/Ranjin Singh)

Khali has new happy music to come out to. MVP looked more sad than the sidelines of an NFL team 20 points behind in the final two minutes of a playoff game. MVP rolled out of the ring to stall in the opening seconds. Ross and Tazz talked about his ongoing losing streak and hard times resulting from losing his incentive bonus. If only JBL were still on Smackdown, he could have hired MVP to be his heavy. MVP went after Khali after returning to the ring, but Khali swatted him to the mat with a punch. MVP came back with a running boot. Ross said he's beginning to look like the MVP of old. That ended quickly with two more punches and the Punjabi Plunge for the three count.

WINNER: Khali in 3:00.

-Mr. Kennedy walked out and asked ring announcer Justin Roberts to give MVP a mic so he can comment on his last performance. Roberts did that. MVP didn't move, though, lying on his back KO'd. Kennedy said if he could say something, he's say this... and he then went on to do an imitation of MVP. It wasn't all that far off, actually. He managed to sneak a plug in for his movie. For the sake of his career, it sounds like Kennedy might want to discourage people from seeing the movie. MVP finally grabbed the mic, but didn't have the strength to speak.

-Vladimir Kozlov was shown walking backstage toward the entrance tunnel.

[Commercial Break]

-A vignette aired on Kzarney. He set something on fire with his tongue and then laughed. He debuts next week! "Get ready for the show."

[Q7]

6 -- VLADIMIR KOZLOV vs. JIMMY WANG YANG

Wang gave a half-hearted "yee-haw" and cowboy dance during his ring intro. Vladimir gave Wang the battering ram to the chest at 1:00 followed by a powerslam. After the match he issued a broken-English statement about going after Triple H in the Royal Rumble. Ross called it a very conclusive statement.

WINNER: Kozlov in 1:00.

-Edge approached Big Show and wished him luck in his match later. Show said, "You're full of Canadian crap." He said he's going to win Hardy and guarantee himself a title shot. He told to watch him do what he can't. He then asked how the marital relationship with Vickie is going. Edge seemed, well, almost hurt by that comment.

[Commercial Break]

-WWE Fact: WWE broadcasts in 28 languages in more than 145 nations worldwide.

-The Raw Rebound aired focused on the Race to the Rumble qualifiers.

-Ross and Tazz were shown on camera plugging the four-way match scheduled for Raw. He said, "Who can trust whom? That's the question on Monday night."

-Big Show's ring intro took place.

[Commercial Break]

[Q8]

7 -- JEFF HARDY vs. THE BIG SHOW

As Hardy's ring intro finished, they cut to a conversation backstage between Edge and Vickie. Edge asked Vickie if Big Show becomes the top contender for the title if he wins tonight. Vickie said if Show wins, Edge would face him next week for rights to move on to face Hardy for the WWE Title. Edge didn't like that. Vickie said it's all business and to relax. Show tossed Hardy around easily at the start, including forearms and punches. A minute in Hardy began to fight back, but Show easily fended him off and threw him to the floor. They cut to an early break.

[Commercial Break]

At 10:00, after a Show bearhug, Hardy came back with a Whisper in the Wind times two. With Show down, Hardy quickly climbed to the to rope and a hit Swanton for a two count. Show powerfully kicked out. He then grabbed Hardy by his throat and set up a chokeslam. Hardy countered with a DDT. Hardy hit a running slidekick to knock Show to the floor and then kicked him into the announce table. Show didn't beat the ten count. Matt Hardy came out to congratulate his brother.

WINNER: Hardy via countout in 11:00.

STAR RATING: * - Show's offense is so limited and lumbering (read: boring), it's tough even with Hardy to get above one star, but Hardy showed really good energy on his comebacks. The countout finish was a bit of a copout, but understandable in the big picture.

-Edge told Vickie he'll apparently have to face Show next week. Vickie instead suggested Edge team with Show against the Hardys. She called him her "charming, handsome, and valiant husband." Edge seemed puzzled by her change of mind.

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