TV REPORTS PARKS' WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 1/2: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of the show, including Big Show & Edge vs. Hardy Boys
Jan 2, 2009 - 9:00:35 PM
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By Greg Parks, PWTorch Contributor
WWE Smackdown review
January 2, 2009
Taped 12/30/08 in Manchester, N.H.
Aired on MyNetwork TV
Report by Greg Parks, Torch Team Contributor
-WWE Open.
-Smackdown Open.
-JR and Tazz opened the show and plugged the main event tag match.
-Vickie Guerrero was introduced. No wheelchair! It's a Christmas miracle! She was in a very good mood and wished everyone a happy New Year. She noted that Jeff Hardy would face Edge for the WWE Title at the Royal Rumble. She said some competitors would be announced tonight. Then, as she was leaving, Triple H came out. HHH said he couldn't wait to hear his name at the top of the list of competitors in the Rumble match and Vickie said he'd have to wait 'til later. HHH got the fans to play along with him and noted the crowd can get unruly if they don't get what they want but Vickie threatened to leave Trips out of the Rumble if he kept this up. Triple H used mind games to convince her that he needs to be in the Rumble. He even showed off the Vickie Guerrero action figure....he said the figure looks exactly like her, then he made fun of her weight. Vickie conceded and admitted he was in the Rumble. Trips said he was playing with her doll earlier and the clothes came off. He took the clothes off the doll (leaving just the bra) and said her action figure was hot. Then he said he went on the internet looking for "information." He whispered that he found nude photos of her. He said they were on Ebay and said the bidding expired in nine minutes, and someone named "ChavoG2009" was also a high bidder. Trips then did his "excuse me!" impression with the figure as Vickie ran backstage. I found that funnier than the usual HHH comedy segment.
-Finlay, Hornswoggle, Ranjin Singh and Great Khali were messing around during a photo shoot backstage....the two wrestlers are tagging next!
[Commercial Break]
-An "Umaga returns" video aired.
1- CURT HAWKINS & ZACK RYDER vs. FINLAY & THE GREAT KHALI
Khali immediately took out both men and did the double noggin-knocker. With the ref distracted, Hornswoggle got involved too. Finlay tagged in and dished out some punishment to Hawkins. He then clotheslined Ryder on the outside. That distraction led to some yelling from Hawkins and he took over on offense as well. It's hard to believe how far these two have fallen in the last year; I thought for sure they were destined to be something worth investing in as the EdgeHeads. They're in desperate need of some character advancement though. Finlay came back to make a tag and Khali did some more attacking of both. Punjabi Plunge on Ryder for three.
WINNER: Finlay & Khali, at 4:06. I could see Finlay & Khali becoming a semi-permanent "odd couple" face team.
After the match, Finlay gave the Celtic Cross to Hawkins and Hornswoggle hit the Tadpole Splash.
-Still to come, Big Show & Edge face Matt & Jeff Hardy.
[Commercial Break]
-Backstage, Eve Torres was joined by Michelle McCool as we got a clip of what happened to cause McCool to snap last week. Michelle said she and Maria used to be friends but Maria got jealous and cost her the title last week. Eve tried to play peacemaker but Michelle just insulted her.
-Edge and Vickie were backstage where Edge was raging about Vickie's pictures being on Ebay. Big Show, also in the room, said he saw the pictures. Vickie got up and left as Edge took issue with Show talking about his wife. Show said Edge should be embarrassed, but about hiding behind Vickie. Edge said Show should be embarrassed about being knocked out by a flyweight at WrestleMania. He told Show to knock out Jeff Hardy tonight.
-Jesse and Festus came out and will be in action next.
[Commercial Break]
2- JESSE & FESTUS vs. EZEKIEL JACKSON & THE BRIAN KENDRICK
Oh c'mon, now Ezekiel has the red tights; now he's inviting MORE comparisons to Ahmed Johnson. Some teamwork by the faces cleaned house on the heels. Jesse worked over Kendrick and tagged in Festus. Festus missed a charge but caught Kendrick on a cross-body attempt. But Festus tweaked his knee and Kendrick, then Ezekiel after a tag, honed in on that body part. Festus recovered enough to tag Jesse, who was all over Kendrick. Not much crowd heat for the faces. Eventually, Festus and Zeke got involved. Zeke made a blind tag when Jesse was on offense and surprised the country boy with a uranage to finish them off.
WINNERS: Jackson & Kendrick, at 4:42. And the heels are back on track. This was a bit more energetic than I expected.
-A third tag match is coming up tonight, but this one is the main event.
[Commercial Break]
3- VLADIMIR KOZLOV vs. HURRICANE HELMS
Kozlov dodged a few Hurri-kicks and went to work on Helms' left arm. Jeez, right off the bat he went for a mat-hold. Helms tried to fight out and came back until Kozlov locked his arms and gave some headbutts to the chest of Helms. Kozlov took Helms down again with the arm. Helms slammed Helms across the top rope, then hit the fallaway slam. Helms got Kozlov down to one knee and attempted the Shining Wizard, but Vlad met him with a headbutt, then his finisher for the win.
WINNER: Kozlov, at 4:18. Got Kozlov more over as a machine, but it wasn't particularly entertaining.
-Coming up next, the Royal Rumble entrants from Smackdown will be announced. I wonder why they decided to forego qualifying matches this year?
-A behind the scenes look at Behind Enemy Lines Colombia aired.
[Commercial Break]
-Jim Ross was in the ring to present the Smackdown Royal Rumble participants. Oh, it's only "some" of them. First is Triple H. The Big Show, Vladimir Kozlov and Shelton Benjamin. As JR was going to announce something (or someone) else, Shelton and his music interrupted. He took umbrage with JR simply introducing him as a "participant," rather than the odds-on-favorite he should've been announced as. He told JR to get out of the ring then showed off his US Title and bragged about his title reign thus far. He said no one in the Rumble match can compare with his talents. The Undertaker's voice came over the PA system, the lights went out, and when they came on, he was in the ring. He then chokeslammed Shelton. He was the other participant JR was about to mention.
[Commercial Break]
-What was likely the final Kizarny promo aired- same one from last week.
-Michelle McCool came to the ring. God, she's getting MORE mic time? She said a friend said something to her earlier that made her think, and she wanted to apologize to Maria. Maria wasn't in the building because of what happened last week. Michelle said she hoped Maria would accept her apology. Michelle said she had one more person to apologize to and that was Eve Torres, who she called to the ring. McCool said she took out her anger on Eve earlier and wanted to apologize. Eve accepted and they hugged. Even then left the ring. Out of nowhere and from behind, Michelle nailed her good into the barricade. She did some damage to the facial region, then kneed her right in the face. Michelle grabbed her hair for the "crazy" look then slammed Eve into the ring apron. She kept beating on Eve until a few refs came down to break it up.
-Backstage, Vickie complimented Chavo for an unheard idea he had but she was still distraught about the pictures. Chavo claimed he hadn't seen them. Triple H walked in. She demanded an apology from him but he said she should apologize to him. She put him in three matches next week- a tables match, handicap match and Last Man Standing match. Apparently, it's called "Triple Jeopardy." Couldn't they think of a better pun using "Triple" since it's in his name too?
[Commercial Break]
4- MVP vs. KIZARNY
Before the match, MVP was so down-trodden he just wanted them to bring out whoever his opponent is and to get it over with. No bragging, no nothing. Crowd was chanting for "MVP" at the start, but Kizarny did get a decent pop coming out. Kizarny got some offense then baseball slid MVP to the outside. He dove through the ropes and onto MVP. Cross-body from the second rope got one. MVP headbutted Kizarny in the gut and threw Kizarny to the outside. He hung Kizarny out to dry on the barricade. In the ring, he got a two-count. Waist-lock applied by MVP. MVP stayed on the offense and face-planted him into the mat. Back to the waist-lock. Belly-to-belly throw by MVP, but Kizarny came back with a jaw-breaker. Dropkick to MVP's leg, then a running seated dropkick. Kizarny bounced MVP's head off the three turnbuckles in the corner then made a unique cover on MVP. It only got two. Playmaker was countered with a double-arm roll-up for the pin.
WINNER: Kizarny, at 6:29. I don't know if the finisher was botched or what, but it looked weak. Didn't seem to me to be an impressive debut from the carny.
Mr. Kennedy came out after the match to make fun of MVP and also plug his straight-to-DVD movie.
-Coming up next, The Hardy Boys re-united to face Edge and Big Show.
[Commercial Break]
-JR and Tazz discussed the Triple Jeopardy situation Triple H got him in for next week. Also, the WWE Tag Titles are on the line when Carlito & Primo defend against Kendrick & Ezekiel.
-Edge came out for the main event and demanded that the fans respect he and his wife. He also said that he would be a seven-time champion after Royal Rumble. Edge said the fans blame him for everything like hitting on the lonely Vickie Guerrero and taking out Jeff Hardy. He said the two of them are still in love (he and Vickie) and that he didn't injure Jeff. He said when Hardy's reign comes to an end, then blame him.
[Commercial Break]
5- EDGE & BIG SHOW vs. MATT & JEFF HARDY
Edge and Matt Hardy started the match off and then Jeff tagged in and the brothers took out Edge and Show. They tried to throw Edge onto Show,but the big man simply caught him. The heels tried to re-group going into break.
[Commercial Break]
Edge was in control of the WWE Champion out of break. Jeff hit a Whisper in the Wind then Matt came in and missed a moonsault. Edge tagged Big Show who did some damage to Matt. Edge tagged in as the match slowed a bit. He worked the arm and rib area of Matt. Show lifted Matt by the arm and slammed him down. JR compared Show's fingers to railroad spikes and Tazz said they were as thick as sausages. Show and Edge cut off the ring as they worked Matt over. Matt back-dropped Edge but couldn't make the tag as Edge rolled him up for two. Show, unprovoked, walked away from the match and went backstage, just like on the Tribute to the Troops show (only he was provoked by Jericho then). Edge looked confused, but set up to spear Matt. Matt got the boot up then hit a Side Effect and both men were down. Tag was made to Jeff, who hit his usual offense on Edge. Poetry in Motion was hit by the brothers and Matt hit a bulldog. Then he landed the Twist of Fate and tagged Jeff, who hit the Swanton and made the pin.
WINNERS: Matt & Jeff Hardy, at 14:06. Solid main event that set up some things with Edge and Big Show but I hope they don't turn Show face again already.
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Greg Parks has been covering Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. You can also hear him every-other-week in the post-Raw audio show Monday nights in the Torch VIP audio section. Check out his column each week in the PDF-exclusive version of the Torch Newsletter. Comments, questions and feedback is welcome, and can be sent to g_man9784@yahoo.com.
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