By Wade Keller, Torch editor

KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
DECEMBER 19, 2008
BALTIMORE, MD.
AIRED ON MY NETWORK TV

-The show opened with footage of Jeff Hardy winning the WWE Title. The graphic said: "It finally happened" as dramatic epic sounding music played. Then they cut to a close-up of Hardy with his crazy-ass make-up saying, "Here I come." The Smackdown opening then abruptly played.

-Ring announcer Justin Roberts asked the fans to welcome the new WWE Champion, Jeff Hardy. Hardy danced not the stage with the belt around his waist. Confetti shot out of a cannon on the stage as the camera panned the cheering fans. Hardy stood on the second rope and held his title belt in the air as a big pryo show played out. They stopped short of a parade down Main Street, but this was as big and long of a televised celebration for a new champion as you'll ever see. A fan held up a sign that said, "Age of Hardy." Five minutes into the show, the music stopped and a "Hardy, Hardy" chant broke out. Hardy soaked that up for a minute, then began talking.

"Wow," he said. "You know, I've heard you guys screaming for a decade, now, and I want to apologize for taking so long, but yes it finally happened!" He said the thought of him being a champion in the past "put reality in danger," but now WWE is about to change. For all of his innate charisma, he's still below average and awkward on the mic. It's part of his overall charm that he's not slick on the mic, but it could hold him back a little. He said he feels he and his fans represent a good kind of crazy. He asked everyone at home to stand on their couches and get a little crazy and scream now. Imagine all of the 11 year olds (and older!) who did just that, freaking out or annoying their family.

Edge walked out and insisted nothing has changed. The crowd chanted "You suck!" at Edge. He said Hardy got lucky. He threw his had at him. "One good day out of 365 does not make a champion," he said. "It takes a lifetime of dedication." He said representing WWE is not about fate or destiny, it's about sacrifice. He said fate is what spoiled kids use whenever things don't go their way. He said destiny is just a copout. "But then again, Jeff, you know all about that, don'tchya?" He said he was the WWE Champion for one reason - because of hard work, period.

Hardy took that opening. "I got a word for you. Liar, liar, lair!" Edge told Hardy and the fans to shut up. He said he didn't have anything to do with what happened to him at Survivor Series because he doesn't need to "because I'm better than you, Jeff." He said he may not like it, but for the past decade, he has always outperformed him. Edge said G.M. Vickie Guerrero independent of their relationship has given the audience an early Christmas present. She has booked Jeff Hardy vs. Vladimir Kozlov. Hardy nodded okay. Edge said no matter what, he's always going to be the screwup. Hardy asked, "Are you done?" Then suddenly out of nowhere he hit a Twist of Fate and left with his title.

[Commercial Break]

[Q2]

-Ross plugged that Hurricane Helms gets a U.S. Title shot against Shelton Benjamin next week.

1 -- HURRICANE HELMS & R-TRUTH vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN & MVP

They actually showed a fan singing to R-Truth wearing an ROH t-shirt. Those usually don't make it onto live TV, much less a pre-taped post-produced show. Tazz reminded viewers that Truth won a Slammy for best musical performance. Truth's rapping was better than average for him, but I'd still argue Howard Finkle might out-rap and out-dance him if you got a few glasses of wine in him. Truth went for an early roll-up on MVP for a two count. Helms hot-tagged in at 4:00 and went to work on Shelton. He went to the top rope quickly after a clothesline and hit a flying bodyblock Ricky Steamboat-style. MVP broke up the pin attempt. Truth tossed MVP to the floor. Shelton threw Trut to the floor. Helms went for a backslide on Shelton. MVP kicked Shelton from behind, aiming for Helms. Truth hit a corkscrew elbow to MVP from behind. Helms then hit his finisher for the win. Ross said Helms has the momentum going into his u.S. Title match next week.

WINNERS: Helms & Truth in 5:00.

-Backstage Vickie Guerrero complained to Chavo Guerrero about her coffee not being hot enough for her. She asked him to try it. When he did. she slapped it out of his hands. "I said hot coffee!" she screamed. Edge then barged into the room and said he wants to get his belt back. Vickie tried to calm him down, saying "step by step." She said tonight he has to deal with the big brother, then Jeff will come later.

[Commercial Break]

[Q3]

2 -- FESTUS (w/Jesse) vs. JOHN MORRISON (w/Miz)

Ross and Tazz narrated over freeze-frames of Miz & Morrison's tag team title win at a house show. When Miz moved toward the bell, Jesse got to it first and knocked Miz down on his way. Festus got in early offense, but Morrison turned momentum with a strong running knee to Festus's face. He then locked on a full-nelson. When Festus made a comeback, Ross said, "Nothing fancy or pretty about Festus." At ringside, with Festus on a roll, Jesse swung the bell at the meddling Miz. The bell sounded, leaving Festus vulnerable to Morrison, who won seconds later with a Moonlight Drive.

WINNER: Morrison in 3:00. Good while it lasted, but disappointingly short.

[Commercial Break]

-A DX merchandise spot aired. Same one as on Raw where they brawled after a comment by Triple H about Michaels going bald.

-Eve interviewed Matt, asking him what it was like to watch his brother win the WWE Title for the first time. Matt said finally critics have to shut up and enjoy the ride. Matt said Edge doesn't handle being embarrassed very well. He said he's going to prove to him he can be just as successful as Jeff was against him. He said something about everything Edge loves being on a Hardy. Tough to tell if there was some sort of Lita reference in there or not.

[Q4]

[Commercial Break]

3 -- EDGE vs. MATT HARDY

Ross noted that 65 percent of text voters believe Edge was the person who did in Jeff Hardy the morning of the Survivor Series in Boston. When Ross said "man," he quickly corrected himself and changed it to "person." Is that a slip up that indicates a woman will be the culprit, such as Vickie (or Lita!). Or was it a meaningless attempt at gender neutrality? Or even a red herring? Ross wondered if Edge might be too keyed up for this match-up. Ross said these two have had personal issues that they may never get past. After Hardy knocked Edge to the floor, the cut to a break at 3:00.

[Commercial Break]

Edge dominated after the break for a few minutes.

[Q5]

Hardy finally made a comeback at 12:00 and hit a Side Effect for a near fall. Edge stopped the count with his foot on the bottom rope. Edge rolled up Hardy and yanked on his tights. Hardy rolled through for a two count of his own. Edge and Hardy clotheslined each other next and both were slow to get up. Hardy used a drop toe hold to send Edge face-first into the middle turnbuckle. Hardy charged, but Edge moved and Hardy went shoulder-first into the ringpost. Edge followed with a spear for the clean pin.

WINNER: Edge in 15:00.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Good match. Right finish, even though Matt is the current ECW Title holder.

[Commercial Break]

-They showed a scene of Baltimore's inner harbor.

4 -- EZEKIEL JACKSON (w/Brian Kendrick) vs. CARLITO (w/Primo Colon)

Ross called Kendrick "pesky." Jackson locked Carlito into a bearhug mid-ring a minute into the match. At 2:00 at ringside, Kendrick went after Carlito. Primo made the save. Ezekiel lifted a distracted Carlito by his hair onto the ring apron. Carlito then dove onto Ezekiel for a two count. Carlito springboarded backward toward Jackson, who met him with an elbow to the back. Jackson followed up quickly with a one-armed chokeslam for the three count.

WINNER: Jackson in 3:00. Not sure of the point of that. I applaud the clean finish on principle, although the downside is it firmly establishes Carlito (and thus he and Primo) in the lower tier preliminary category just when it seemed there was a chance they were being elevated with those tag titles and all.

[Q6]

5 -- MARIA vs. MARYSE -- No. 1 Contendership at stake

Michelle McCool watched from ringside. Maria slapped Maryse hard early. Ross said he hasn't seen that type of slap since prom night. Maria missed a top rope dive at 3:00 when Maryse moved. She grabbed at her ankle afterward. Maryse quickly gave her a DDT for the win.

WINNERS: Maryse in 4:00 to become the no. 1 contender.

-Afterward Maryse approached McCool, who didn't react much at first. She slowly stood from her chair and stared down Maryse, who pointed at her belt. McCool slapped at Maryse. Maryse backed down in cocky fashion as her music played.

-Mr. Kennedy sat next to a dejected looking MVP in the locker room. He said he knows times are tough and he feels for him. He said if he keeps his chin up and smiles, things will look up. He said it's a new year for him. MVP snapped when he sensed Kennedy was there to plug his movie. Kennedy said he wasn't going that direction, but he thanked him for the plug. "Even when you're flat broke, you're still giving," he said. "It's a good trait to have. Keep your chin up." He closed with, "Merry Christmas from Missster Kennedy!... Kennedy."

-Ross plugged the main event: Hardy vs. Kozlov.

[Q7]

-A commercial aired for the Edge DVD.

[Commercial Break]

-The Raw Rebound aired.

-They went to Ross and Tazz on camera. Ross said Batista sustained a severe concussion and WWE medical staff aren't saying when he'll return to action. Tazz said the look of accomplishment on Orton's face indicates zero remorse.

-Eve interviewed The Great Khali and Ranjin Singh, but first she threw to the Kiss Cam segment with Mae Young last week. Singh then said that Khali told him Mae has the most succulent lips in all of WWE, and that Eve is a close second.

-Main event ring intros began with 20 minutes left in the show. After Kozlov's intro, they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

[Q8]

6 -- JEFF HARDY vs. VLADIMIR KOZLOV

Ross referred to Hardy as employing a "no huddle style offense." Good analogy. Kozlov applied an early rear bearhug. Hardy elbowed out of it. Kozlov tossed Hardy to the floor. Hardy returned to the ring and slidekicked Kozlov off the ring apron. They cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Back from the break, Kozlov was in control. He gave Hardy a big boot to the face, and then slide him into a ringpost shoulder-first. Kozlov powerslammed Hardy at 8:00 leading to a near fall. Ross wondered what it would mean to Hardy if he lost his first match since winning the title. Tazz said it'd be gigantic for Kozlov. At 9:00 Hardy made a comeback when he avoided a Kozlov charge into the corner. Hardy hit a Whisper in the Wind. Edge the pounced on Hardy for the DQ.

WINNER: Hardy via DQ in 10:00.

-Afterward, Kozlov and Edge beat up Hardy two-on-one. They cut to Triple H, making his first appearance of the program, arriving backstage. Ross said it may be too late for Hard. Edge fetched a chair and waited to fend off any save attempts as Kozlov shoved his boot over Hardy's face. Triple H's music played and Triple H marched to the ring with determination. Triple H ducked Edge's telegraphs chair swing and hit a Pedigree. He then took Kozlov down and mounted and pounded on him. They brawled to ringside. Triple H fetched a sledgehammer from under the ring, so Kozlov bailed out and retreated to the back. Meanwhile, Hardy came back and hit Edge with a Swanton Bomb.

We suggest these recent related articles...

PARKS'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 10/8: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Thursday show, including Roman Reigns & Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt & Braun Strowman

METZGER'S ROH TV REPORT 10/4 & 10/7: IWGP World champ Okada vs. Roderick Strong main event, plus Briscoes vs. Time Splitters, more from "Field of Honor," Overall Reax

MCMAHON'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 10/7: TNA Title Series kicks off, Bound for Glory fall-out, more; Overall Reax