By Wade Keller, Torch editor

KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT
DECEMBER 18, 2008
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.
AIRED ON SPIKE TV

[Q1]

-The title of the show is "Main Event Massacre." The Impact opening then aired.

1 -- RHINO vs. LANCE HOYT

Mike Tenay said between ring intros that the TNA Frontline get a chance at revenge against the MEM in the tag match: Sting & Kevin Nash vs. Samoa Joe & A.J. Styles in a cage (because the tag match alone packed with four of TNA's top stars wasn't enough). West said Sting and Nash will have nowhere to run or hide. Rhino finished Hoyt with a Gore quickly. Tenay said momentum is on Rhino's side as he heads to Genesis to get a shot at Sting's World Title. He earned the title shot by losing to Kurt Angle at the last PPV, apparently.

WINNER: Rhino in 2:00.

-Rhino called the Frontline to the ring. Styles, Samoa Joe, Eric Young, Jay Lethal, Consequences Creed, and ODB walked out followed far behind by Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin. Tenay talked about the bloody mess that Brother Ray was left in last week. He said they've never seen anything like it before in TNA. He said Brother Devon is tending to Ray this week, so he's not on the show. Rhino said they knew they'd be in for a bloody, tough fight with bones being broken. Rhino said what they did to Ray last week won't be stood for. He said not long ago he beat Sting, but in his title shot at Genesis, he will "leave him in a pile of his own piss, blood, and sh-- [bleeped]." He said last week MEM may have raised the bar, but the Frontline will raise it even higher. Styles said because of the actions of Steiner and Booker last week, TNA management have booked them against Matt Morgan and Abyss. "And, personally, I hope they rip your heads off," he said. He said if they want to act like animals, "then let's be animals tonight, cage and all." Joe said what they did to Ray last week won't compare to what they do to them tonight." Joe said he understands violence and retribution. He said that's why tonight their surrender will not be accepted in the cage. He said they will come to one grand realization: "Joe is going to kill you." The camera zoomed in on Joe. Tenay said they've never been more serious.

-Tenay and West were shown on camera. Tenay said Frontline is out for revenge. He said they have a loaded edition of Impact. West and Tenay plugged the two X Division first round tourney matches, the Knockouts street fight, Booker & Steiner vs. Abyss & Morgan, and the main event tag. Tenay said they'd hear from Jeff Jarrett later, also.

-Borash interviewed Angle backstage regarding Frontline's reaction to last week's brutal beatdown of Ray. Angle said there will be blood shed, but it will be theirs. "Did they not see what we did to Brother Ray last week?" he asked. "Do they not know what we're capable of." He said they're going to do what they have to do. He said he's going to pay tribute to Jeff Jarrett tonight because after Genesis, he'll be extinct. Angle said he has a special guest coming. He then did "Bang Bang!" and laughed.

[Commercial Break]

-Lauren interviewed Shelley and Sabin backstage regarding the X Division tourney. After she talked about their opportunities, Sabin said: "That's right, and you have the opportunity to be the meat in a Motor City sandwich later tonight." He clarified a moment later that Shelley is his "hererosexual lifemate." Sabin told Shelley that when he gest that belt, savor that flavor. Shelley said Foley would love for them to destroy each other, but that's because Foley is jealous that he doesn't have anyone to relate to him like they do with each other. Shelley said at the end of the day, somebody has to win the title. He said nobody in Detroit is talking about the auto industry bailout, but rather which of the sons of the Motor City will win the X Division Title.

[Q2]

2 -- SONJAY DUTT (w/So Cal Val) vs. CHRIS SABIN (w/Alex Shelley)

Tenay said there are rumors of "closed-door meetings" between Dutt and Bashir recently. Bashir watched from a chair in the aisle, crossing his arms and nodding at Dutt on offense. Tenay plugged that they'd talk to suspended referee Shane Sewell later, too. Sabin hit a springboard clothesline for a near fall at 4:00. Dutt avoided the Cradle Shock and then bit Sabin's face. Sabin set up a tombstone attempt, but Dutt avoided it and hit a DDT and a standing moonsault for a near fall. After another minute of fast-paced exchanges, Sabin hit the Cradle Shock for the win.

WINNER: Sabin in 6:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- One of the better short TV matches in a while on Impact. It'd be great if TNA could build up a money feud between a couple X Division wrestlers of this skill level and let them go 20-plus minutes on PPV for a match of the year contender.

-A "TNA Cross the Line" vignette aired on the TNA Knockouts.

-The Sarah Palin impersonator dressed up Angelina Love and Velvet Sky, then told them they need to look more like the past First Ladies such as Barbara Bush. Love said, "She looked like a tranny." She said she's hired a couple make-up pros. Cute Kip said he is the Beautiful People's fashion consultant. He said they didn't need her help. Palin said, "Zip it, Kipper." Love told Kip they love him, but if they're going to get to the White House, they need to listen to the governor. Kip had enough, threw his hands up, and left the room. Love and Sky sat down to receive their make-overs.

[Commercial Break]

[Q3]

-ODB interviewed Christy Hemme on her talk show. Christy flailed her legs and ODB observed that she "goes commando." Christy found that hilarious and laughed and laughed and laughed. ODB talked about her wrestling roots and posing for Playboy. ODB said, "I gotta give you credit, the carpets do match the drapes." ODB asked if she saw Hugh Heffner's "old balls." It seems "balls" is the new word TNA can't repeat often enough to satisfy themselves. "Standards and Practices" must have agreed to it being mentioned once or twice a week, and TNA's using up their entire allowance. Christy said she has a lot left to learn in the ring. As the talk got serious (i.e. boring), Rhaka Khan and Ryesha Saeed attacked ODB and Christy.

-Tenay said that incident has led to a Knockout Tag Match later with those four. West promised an update on Ray later. They plugged the rest of the show once again. They're doing a better job on Impact pushing what's coming up later. Much better than in the past.

-Borash held the mic backstage as the MEM chatted up Foley, who seemed to love hanging out and sharing old stories with the veterans. Foley said he thinks last week they may have crossed the line. He said it seemed to him Ray challenged him to a wrestling match, "not a gang bang." Angle asked what he would have done in his day if Ray challenged him a street fight. Foley said he probably would have faced him one-on-one. Angle said that's not possible because the business was "built on the boys and brotherhood," and when you attack one, you attack them all. Foley asked them to promise, "No more beatdowns." Foley sure seems gullible and naive here. They smiled and agreed, but didn't seem to mean it at all.

[Commercial Break]

-Rough Cut on Robert Roode. Last week, they made James Storm a totally likable, sympathetic figure. Let's see what they do for Mr. Wallstreet. Roode said he was raised in Ontario. He said he was brought up by loving parents. He said he started playing hockey when he was four. He was all about hockey and wanted to be successful. He said afterward, he got into wrestling. Vintage TNA footage aired of his early stretch with Team Canada. He was talking from a desk while sitting in an executive leather chair with a laptop in front of him. He said the sacrifices one makes as a pro wrestler most people don't understand. He said it was a passion for him to make it. He said he paid his dues and wouldn't change a thing he did in the past to get where he is today. Man, what an inspirational story. Seriously, they're turning them babyface with these vignettes. I hope that's their intent.

-Ring intros took place for the upcoming tag match.

[Q4]

3 -- SCOTT STEINER & BOOKER T (w/Sharmell) vs. ABYSS & MATT MORGAN

Booker and Abyss battled briefly, then Morgan and Steiner tagged in. The screen graphic promised Angle would "pay tribute" to Jarrett in 12 minutes. Good to know how long this match is going to last. It's not exactly the same, but it's almost like watching an NFL game where one team is ahead by 10 and the screen says: "Coming up in 30 minutes: Overtime!" What they're really doing is chipping away at the sense that "anything can happen" and "this might be live" by being so specific. It's not a big deal, but they ought to be careful with how they tease future segments. It's like naming the shows each week in a way that gives away the show is post-produced. They broke to a very early-match commercial.

[Commercial Break]

Morgan took Steiner down with his Carbon Footprint at 6:00. Four-way action broke out. Abyss knocked Booker to the floor, then threw him into the ringside steps. When Sharmell got near Abyss, Abyss threatened to hit her and swung his arms. She fell backwards and shrieked and cried, overreacting. Abyss tried to convey he didn't mean to hurt her. Meanwhile, Morgan lifted Steiner in the air, but Booker hit Morgan from behind with a pipe and then delivered the Axe Kick for the win. Sharmell popped up and celebrated. Abyss saw he was duped. Tenay called it an Academy Award-winning acting job. Abyss charged into the ring, so the heels fled. Sharmell was funny in her intentional overselling and then post-win celebration and gloating.

WINNERS: Steiner & Morgan in 8:00.

-They showed Jarrett pacing backstage.

[Commercial Break]

-Another vignette aired pushing the pending arrival of Brutus Magnus. His time of glory is upon us, apparently.

-Angle walked out to his full ring intro. He brought his new DVD with him. He briefly plugged his DVD, but said he was there to talk about Jarrett, not himself.

[Q5]

Angle pointed the fans toward the big screen to old photos of Jarrett as a rookie. He said he was voted Rookie of the Year in 1988 after starting his career at age 16. He talked about him arriving in the WWF, then did the "Ja-Double-R" routine including the "ha ha" at the end. He talked about his tag team title win with Owen Hart years ago. A photo by Mike Lano (credited) was shown with Jarrett, Owen, and Debra. Angle said Jarrett went on to WCW to beat Ric Flair, Diamond Dallas Page, Kevin Nash, and Scott Steiner to become a four-time WCW Champion. He said just when Jarrett couldn't prove anything else inside the ring, he started his own wrestling company. A "TNA, TNA" chant broke out. He said within six years, TNA became a world renowned company. He said it started with a two-hour prime time national cable Impact. Then the Global expansion into over 100 countries. He said then Jarrett came out of retirement and screwed him at Bound for Glory. He said that brings him to Genesis where this storybook career comes to an end.

Angle said Jarrett spent 25 years busting his ass to survive in this business, but he guaranteed the fans he'd drown Jarrett in his own blood at Genesis. He said the wrestling community can live without Jarrett, but the question is will his daughters. A photo appeared on the screen of Jarrett's three daughters. Angle said they will become orphans at Genesis. "But don't worry about it, Jeff, because Uncle Kurt might have it in his heart to adopt them and make them mine." West called it "disgusting." Tenay said he goes there becausehe knows he's going to get a reaction out of Jarrett. Jarrett walked out and called him a "worthless son of a bitch" and he's heard that for the last time. B.G. James, Scott D'Amore, and Terry Taylor walked out to try to calm him down. Jarrett pulled off his shirt and ran through the three of them. They caught up with him before he could get into the ring. James shouted, "You crossed the line, you son of a bitch." Now, not to be a smart ass, but doesn't TNA's motto preach that everyone should do exactly that: "TNA - Cross the Line." Anyway, besides the fact that they continue to cash in on the death of Jeff's wife to play on how his daughters are one parent's death away from being orphans, really well delivered promo and great intensity by Jarrett and his pals (James, Taylor, D'Amore) as they tried to calm him down.

[Commercial Break]

-Borash was backstage as James continued to try to talk down Jarrett. James told him he's reacting exactly how Angle wanted him. James told Foley it's half his fault. Tenay said Jarrett is livid.

4 -- KIYOSHI vs. CONSEQUENCES CREED

Tenay talked about Kiyoshi's background in All Japan. He said he's making his debut in TNA and fans will see a resemblance to his tag team partner, Great Muta. Kiyoshi did a variety of Muta-style holds and moves. He missed a diving headbutt off the top rope at 3:00.

[Q6]

Creed made a full comeback with two clotheslines and a 360 degree roundhouse kick to the back of Kiyoshi's head leading to a two count. Kiyoshi scored with a couple cool spots mid-ring for a believable near fall. He cut off Creed's attempt at a second rope dive and then executed a moonsault. He missed pretty badly with it, prompting West to openly ask "did he hit it?" It was the scheduled finisher, so rather than re-do the spot and let production fix it in post-production, they went to the pin. If he was going for a headbutt to the chest, it was closer to that than a moonsault.

WINNER: Kiyoshi in 4:00.

-Tenay listed the second round matches: Kiyoshi vs. Sabin and Shelley vs. Young.

-Kip stormed out of the make-up room again after Love and Sky were stripped of their make-up. "We're not beautiful, we're ugly!" said Sky as Love began to cry at her hideous nakedness. Palin asked if they want to wrestlers or role models to every man, woman, and child. She said they could be bigger than Britney Spears, Angelina Jolie, or even Barack Obama. (Where's the timely Caroline Kennedy reference? Come on!) That seemed to rejuvenate their spirits.

[Commercial Break]

-After clips aired of last week's beatdown by MEM on Brother Ray, Tenay updated his condition, saying he'd be out of action indefinitely after suffering a concussion, a busted eardrum, and multiple broken ribs. West said it was too much for "The Icon" Sting, who walked away from the beatdown and didn't participate. They showed the ambulance taking Brother Ray away. That's always a nice touch to add some realism.

-Tenay asked people to watch his sitdown interview with Shane Sewell. To keep viewers from abandoning ship here, they should have put Puppy Cam on in the corner. Or Knockout Cam. Or TNA Trivia. Or X Division highspots from over the years. Anything. Because this is just begging to be the lowest rated quarter hour in a long time. Kiyoshi vs. Creed and a sitdown with Sewell plus two commercial breaks? Ouch. Should be interesting. Anyway, Sewell talked about his transition from being active in the ring to refereeing. He said he hurt his neck and doctors said he could end up paralyzed. He said he applied at TNA, and thankfully Taylor offered him a job. Tenay said he's been warned that he could be terminated if he loses his cool in the ring again. He said he needs this job. He said it's not up to him to decide which match he refs, but he doesn't understand why he keeps getting assigned to Bashir matches. Sewell said if Bashir costs him his job, he won't leave TNA peacefully. So he'll risk paralysis to get revenge, apparently. His deliver was suitably earnest. It was the next logical segment for this ongoing feud.

[Commercial Break]

[Q7]

5 -- RHAKA KAHN & RYESHA SAEED vs. CHRISTY HEMME & ODB

ODB and Khan brawled at ringside early as Christy dropped Saeed over the security railing. Back in the ring, Khan choked ODB. Christy speared Khan and mounted her and pounded on her. ODB and Christy double-teamed her, taking her down with a double shoulder tackle. Saeed tried to get involved again, but Hemme kicked her to the flor. Christy then hit the FFG split-legged legdrop off the top rope on Khan for the win.

WINNERS: ODB & Christy in 2:00. The shorter the better if Khan's working the majority of the match.

-Afterward, Awesome Kong entered and gave ODB an Implant Buster. Suicide cabled his way into the ring and stared down Kong. She bailed out of the ring as Suicide moved toward her.

-Borash interviewed Sting backstage, with Nash sitting nearby. Sting said he doesn't have word right now. He asked Nash if he had anything to say. Nash said he's known Sting for 20 years and nobody has more integrity than Sting. He said he's tried to beat him down over the years, and Sting did the same back. Nash said Sting was the gold standard and he wanted his money, not to end his career. He said he never spit in his face, but Styles did. Nash said when they asked Team 3D to join them, they didn't just say no, they showed up with weapons and beat them down. "They started this war, man, not us," he said. Nash said he needs Sting to bat cleanup with him tonight. He handed Sting his bat and asked if he's with him. Sting seemed persuaded by Nash's compelling argument that MEM aren't the bad guys. He headed to the ring with Nash. Sting's nuanced acting here has been the best of his career, in part because it fits his personality in real life quite well.

[Commercial Break]

-Borash asked Foley about his buddying up with MEM earlier. He said he understands why Jarrett is so upset. Foley said he knows Angle sometimes says things he doesn't really mean, so he'll give him a pass. Borash asked him what side he's on. Foley said he doesn't have a side. He said he's been disrespected more in the last few weeks by a young punk like Shelley than he has in all of his career. He said he's been brought board to do what's right, and that's go with proven talents like MEM. Borash asked if that means he's okay with what happened to Ray last week. Foley said he thinks he made it clear gangland attacks wouldn't be tolerated any more. He said he's going to take MEM at their word, and now head out and do what's right for business. Good promo by Foley.

-Ring intros took place for the main event tag cage match.

[Q8]

6 -- A.J. STYLES & SAMOA JOE vs. STING & KEVIN NASH -- Cage Match

West did a nice job re-stating the case Nash made to Sting, justifying MEM's actions. He also did a nice job selling the impact of being thrown into a cage. Joe went after Nash early as Sting paired off with Styles. West said MEM have a way of explaining their actions and making them seem reasonable by turning around facts so they seem okay. Styles and Joe had early control on Nash, then Sting. They cut to a break at 3:00.

[Commercial Break]

Nash and Joe battled on the to rope at 9:00. Nash knocked Joe down, but then Styles climbed the back of Nash, climbed over the cage, and jumped to the floor to win. Tenay said this sends a real message to the MEM.

WINNERS: Styles & Joe in 9:00.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Too short for a cage match, especially from a TV perspective with a break in the middle, but good while it lasted.

-Afterward, Nash swung the cage door into Styles's face. Joe, though, beat up both Nash and Sting in the cage. Angle ran to the ring with a chair to break up a Joe sleeper on Nash. Booker T and Steiner joined in. Joe kicked the chair into Angle's face, then tossed Booker into the cage. When Steiner climbed through the ropes, Joe kicked the middle top rope to crotch Steiner. He set up a chair mid-ring, then lifted Angle for a Muscle Buster. Nash bashed Joe in the back with a chair. Steiner locked the cage door closed with a four-on-one advantage. "This is exactly what Mick Foley said they can't do and they're doing it," exclaimed West. Referees ran out to try to break into the cage. Nash kicked at them through the cage. Styles began to scale the side of the cage, but Nash bashed at his fingers with a pipe. Angle put Joe's arm in a chair. Sting stopped a charge of TNA Frontline members on the ramp with clotheslines. Steiner bashed Joe's arm with a pipe. The rest of the TNA Frontline tried to climb the cage, but the MEM kept fending them off with weapons as the show ended.

FINAL NOTES: Another good show overall. TNA is finding its stride with more focus among the main eventers, some strong promos, and some solid (although utterly too short) TV matches. The comedy is cut back 90 percent compared to a year ago. Everyone is slotted pretty well with their strengths. Not a flawless show, but much improved lately and going in the right direction within their desired philosophy.

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