By James Caldwell, PWTorch columnist

TNA Impact on Spike TV
December 11, 2008
Taped Nov. 8 in Orlando, Fla.
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist

We start with Mike Tenay and Don West hyping tonight's show, which is "Angle gets Jarrett. It's real...it's damn real." We have beer on a pole and X Division matters settled and Briefcases revealed.

Impact Zone: Main Event Mafia came to the ring to start the show, with Mike Tenay talking about Al Snow's interference against Mick Foley helping Kurt Angle beat Rhino at the PPV on Sunday. Angle was the first one to gloat about PPV matters, proclaiming Jarrett vs. Angle at Genesis in January. It didn't have to come to this point. See, Angle was glad to leave his former employer with visions of carrying TNA on his back to take this company to the top. He did everything he could to make it work, but then the inevitable...the more press and attention he got, the more Jarrett became jealous of him. Jarrett being the egomaniac he is, didn't realize Angle was working for him and helping him. The more popular Angle became, the more Jarrett tried to pull him down.

"You see, Jeff, I hate you more than any other boss I've worked for," he said. "And you know which boss I'm talking about." Angle said four weeks until he kills him. Never been more focused. He feels nothing. His heart is callous. Cold. Calculating. Feel nothing for Jeff or his three little angel girls living their lives for him. Nothing good will come out of this. (Pause for the "you suck" chant.)

Suddenly, the A.J. Styles theme music hit and Styles came out on stage shaking his head. He called him something that was bleeped. Even Styles doing it now? Styles said Jarrett is going to show up at the PPV and make an example out of Angle. He's not here to talk for Jarrett, though, he wants to chat with Sting. He's listened to Sting talk about respect and honor for six months, so he assumes Sting is talking about himself too.

Styles said how could Sting take victory like he did on Sunday when Samoa Joe had Sting beat until Kevin Nash screwed Joe. Is that the right thing? Is that the right way? Styles said he can go home and tell his family he did things the right way. Sting, can you do the same? Angle cut him off and said Sting has done more in two years in TNA than Styles will ever do in his lifetime. If Styles is a real man, then he'll come down to the ring and confront Sting man-to-man. No reaction from Sting throughout this.

Styles answered back for everyone else to leave the ring and just let it be him and Sting. Everyone slowly left the ring, then Styles slipped into the ring and went right up to Sting to have a chat. Styles screamed and shouted then Sting landed the first right hand blow. Styles fought back, then Mafia jumped back into the ring to help beat down Styles. Sting brushed the dirt off his shoulders, then Samoa Joe and Eric Young ran down to make the save. Rhino, Creed, ODB, Machineguns, and Team 3D then brought up the rear. Angle grabbed a mic and said they have a War. I thought they already had one going? Angle said tonight, someone from the Frontline is getting eliminated. The camera then focused on Brother Ray.

Backstage: Jeremy Borash was with Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley in Jarrett's office for some thoughts. Borash set it up with Jarrett vs. Angle, then Jarrett said it is what it is. Kurt got one over on them. How do you balance owner vs. wrestler now? Jarrett said he's not. From now on, he's solely wrestler and he can't afford to lose to Kurt, not just for his company and career, but for his family. He then appointed Mick Foley complete power because he's the only one he can trust. Jarrett told him he has all the stroke now. Cue up the dramatic betrayal music. Dum-dum-dum.

[Commercial Break]

Impact Zone: Tenay and West broke down the X Division Title bracket. ... Backstage, Lauren was with Shelley and Sabin for words on the tournament. They've become a target. Alex Shelley said they're targets for telling the truth. They called out Foley, have been attacked by video game characters, and got screwed at the PPV. Now, he's getting the X Title around his waist.

1 -- SHEIK ABDUL BASHIR vs. ERIC YOUNG -- X Division Title tournament match quarterfinal match

With ref Shane Sewell suspended for two weeks...with pay... in the storyline, ref Earl Hebner has the assignment for this re-match of the re-match of the recent X Division Title matches. With pay? Shoot, Hebner should attack Bashir and get suspended to take two weeks off to spend Christmas at home with the family. Right on cue, Hebner got into it with Bashir, then Bashir backed away and Young bridge pinned Bashir for the pin and the win. Bashir then chased Hebner out of the ring before Hebner smiled and raised Young's hand on the ramp. They're all corrupt. Young now gets the winner of Shelley vs. Lethal.

WINNER: Young in 3:00. Just a rapid-paced X Division match without enough time to tell a complete story. Completely fine, but completely forgettable. (*)

Backstage: Lauren was standing by in the Frontline locker room. Apparently they weren't watching Young's win. Brother Ray addressed Samoa Joe and Styles while the others huddled around. He told Joe he's a legit tough guy and Styles is the future World champ. Ray said they have Frontline's back anytime, anyplace. They heard Angle's threat earlier and they're taking the fight to the Mafia. Ray then took a swig from ODB's flask and nearly coughed it up. he said they're going out there right now to give Angle an offer he can't refuse.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Borash was standing outside of the Mafia locker room to plug the Mobile deal. He then knocked on the door and Foley walked out having a good laugh with the Mafia. Foley said he forgot how much he liked those guys. Mafia then walked out pinching Foley on the Angle and slapping him on the back. What a swell group of guys, Foley said. He said they were too busy reminiscing to hear Ray's speech earlier.

Backstage: They were at the Beautiful People plush set where Lauren handed the mic over to Angelina Love and Velvet Sky, who were giggling next to fake Sarah Palin while Cute Kip stood by. Angelina said Sarah was going to make them part of her cabinet. They giggled, then Sarah said not dressed like that, though. But, she has some suits from her personal collection they can wear. Angelina and Velvet then excitedly ran off with "Sarah" while Kip shrugged his shoulders.

[Commercial Break]

Video package: Coming Soon is Brutus Magnus. From a pillar on a tall government-type building. Reminds me of Tritan for some reason. Any FSN Impact fans out there?

2 -- ALEX SHELLEY (w/Chris Sabin) vs. JAY LETHAL -- X Division Title tournament match quarterfinal match

Lethal came to the ring holding the briefcase he took from Shelley at the PPV just to rub it in Shelley's face a little bit more. Shelley had enough and attacked Lethal from behind. Sabin tried to get involved early, but Lethal shoved him to the floor and landed a sudden suicide dive on the floor. Lethal then tried to get back in the ring, but Shelley kicked the middle rope, crotching Lethal. He followed with an over the shoulder belly to back piledriver and scored the pin for the win.

WINNER: Shelley in 2:00. Another super-fast X Division match without any time to develop. (3/4*)

Post-match: Sabin took the mic and said Foley did to them what the Knockouts have been trying to do for months: screw the Motor City Machineguns. Sabin demanded that Foley show up and give them back Lethal's briefcase with the TNA tag title shot. But, they're kind and polite gentle-men from Detroit. So, waddle on down and fix it. He told Foley not to make them come back there. Instead, Suicide's music hit and the light show went on until Suicide hit the ring and attacked the Guns while his music continued to play. I just can't get past the name of the gimmick. Seriously, why not call the babyface Death or Rape or Murder? Only in TNA.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Lauren was with Abyss and Matt Morgan, who begged Abyss to stop falling into the Beer Money trap. Morgan asked Abyss since when he does he drink. Abyss dejectedly said he made a mistake and thought Beer Money was going to introduce him to the crew from Family Guy. Morgan cut him off and said that's just make-believe. So, apparently Eric Young's old dumb-and-gullible gimmick has been transferred to Abyss. Morgan said he doesn't want to see this Abyss anymore. He wants the monster Abyss. He told Abyss to take James Storm out tonight. Morgan breathed a deep sigh and left.

Rough Cut: We have James Storm on the farm. He said all rednecks kinda watch wrestling, so he always watched the shows back in the day and even took a picture with dirty Dutch Mantell. Wow, look at the mullet on him in his amateur wrestling days. Storm said he had to quit because his dad died. He said he then trained to become a pro wrestler and started training. Kevin Thomasson, wrestling promoter, said Storm had passion and desire to be a wrestler.

3 -- JAMES STORM (w/Miss Jacqueline) vs. ABYSS -- Beer on a Pole match

Storm nailed the Last Call superkick at 3:00, then he grabbed the beer bottle hanging from the pole. Storm tried to smash Abyss with the bottle, but Abyss went right into a Black Hole Slam. He could have scored the pin, but Abyss opted to pick up the beer bottle and point at Storm to ask the crowd whether he should nail him. Suddenly, Jackie stole the beer bottle out of Abyss's hand and ran right into Matt Morgan, who came out on stage. Morgan then lifted up Jackie to tease violence on a woman, but Robert Roode ran to ringside and low-blowed Morgan. He got what was coming to him. Roode then smashed Abyss with a steel chair and Storm pinned Abyss for the win.

Post-match: Storm and Roode tried a post-match beating on Abyss, but Morgan made the save. He then wanted to give Roode a ride to the mile high club, but Storm smashed him from behind with the beer bottle. Abyss re-entered with a chair in hand, then Roode and Storm bailed. A medic then covered Morgan's head with a towel to stop the bleeding from the beer shot.

WINNER: Storm in 4:00. Morgan somehow finds a way to be less and less endearing as a babyface each week, threatening to hit a woman before getting his with a low blow. Feud continues with Abyss & Morgan chasing the tag champs. (*)

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Borash was with the Mafia. Kevin Nash chatted first and suggested Borash has been playing for the other team. That being the Frontline. Angle prevented a Borash Beating as he saw Brother Ray coming to the ring on his TV monitor.

Impact Zone: Ray ran - well, lightly jogged - to the ring and addressed Kurt Angle. He wants him man-to-man. Nobody else. He has a proposition, so come on out. They showed Angle watching backstage, then Angle told the Mafia to hold back while he walks out there. Once they were together in the ring, Ray told Angle to just hear him out. There's potential for a lot of bad things to go down in the Mafia vs. Frontline feud. He said he knows the Mafia wants to destroy the Frontline, but they will never sleep until they rid TNA of the Mafia.

Ray waited out a "T-N-A" chant before telling Angle to think about what would happen if TNA fell apart and they would have to sell their souls (back) to the devil (McMahon)? Boos from the audience. Ray then suggested they settle this thing one-on-one tonight with no one else around. Angle shook his hand then they had a staredown. So, what are they settling? Loser buys dinner at the next taping? Winner gets a back rub?

[Commercial Break]

Frontline locker room: Brother Ray had to explain things to Samoa Joe that if he wins, then Mafia disbands. Ray told Joe just to do him a favor and walk out the door so others will follow. Joe said fine, they'll do it his way. Styles said it was stupid. Everyone left, except for Brother Devon, who simply shook his head. Devon asked him if he's taken too many chairshots to the head. He asked Ray if he's that dumb that a simple handshake with Angle prevent Mafia from being ringside.

Ray said Angle must have one ounce of decency left inside him, so he just needs Devon to leave so it's just him. Devon said that's fine, and he'll see him later. Devon left, then Ray took a deep breath. Ringside, Tenay tried to sell this as a true one-on-one match-up. No interference. Haha. Tenay then got word that the Mafia is leaving too.

Mafia locker room: Angle told the Mafia to take off, then Nash asked him what he wants at dinner. Angle said steak. Sting quietly left, then Booker went right up to Angle and made sure he has this. Angle told him to trust him. He's whopping Ray's ass. Booker said this is Brother Ray, not some douche running around here. He's from the streets man. Angle said he's got this. They hugged it out, then Angle adjusted his tie.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Velvet and Angelina were in some ugly ol' granny outfits from the fake Sarah collection. Kip tried to explain to the disillusioned Angelina and Love, but they cut him off and said they're so excited to be going to the White House. "Sarah" led them away.

Impact Zone: Time to open some briefcases. Borash stood by with Hernandez, Curry Man, and Homicide with three briefcases in the ring. World Title, X Title, and a pink slip left. Cue the dramatic music and lights, then Hernandez's case was selected first. And the contents... after dramatic build...and Borash talking...and talking...World Title shot. Hernandez shook hands with Homicide, who was pumped for his LAX partner. Let's get a break to string this out some more.

[Commercial Break]

Impact Zone: Borash made sure Homicide and Curry were ready to find out their fates. Curry's case was selected. He's won the hearts of men and women across the world. Homicide was shown trying to hold back a smile at the gimmick. Contents revealed...Fired! Curry is gone. Homicide celebrated with Hernandez, then his case was opened to reveal an X Division Title shot. No one cared about poor Curry, who thought he had a Fire Pro Title shot.

Unfortunately, it's the end of the road for Curry in TNA. "Good, JB? No good?" Curry asked. Borash then told Curry they're sending him back to New Japan with the help of security. Curry thought he had a contract to sign soon. Borash wished him well in future endeavors. "It's all good?" Curry asked. "No, it's not all good," Borash said. Curry was confused. LAX was pumped. Borash was in the zone in his game show host role.

4 -- CHRISTY HEMME vs. SOJOURNER BOLT

Random Knockouts match here with a show of mutual respect between the two to start things off. Hemme won in a few minutes with a roll-up to impress management for a potential re-match with Awesome Kong for the Knockouts Title. After the match, Hemme went for a handshake, but Bolt slapped her across the face. Hemme snapped and attacked Bolt, who escaped through the throng of referees that stormed the ring. Bolt screamed back at Hemme as refs stood in between them.

WINNER: Hemme in 4:00. Quick Knockouts match and a nice, but sudden post-match

Backstage: Curry Man didn't get it. There was no Fire Championship Title. He has a contract. Family needs money in Japan. Lauren tried to explain it, but security eventually picked him up and tossed him out the back door. "Lauren, save me!" he shouted on the way out.

Video package: They showed highlights from Curry Man dancing and wrestling on the monkey bars. They even put up a "2008-2008" graphic similar to when a wrestler dies. That's a poor attempt at humor.

[Commercial Break]

5 -- BROTHER RAY vs. KURT ANGLE

Brother Ray came to the ring for the main event, then he waited for Kurt Angle, who suddenly snuck up behind him to get a jump-start on Ray. The match spilled to the floor, then Angle squatted near the PPV poster wall and Ray charged him, but Angle easily moved and Ray crashed through the base of the wall like a bowling ball. Let's get a break.

[Commercial Break]

Still brawling back from break. Apparently during the commercial break, ref Slick Johnson did everything in his power to get the action back in the ring, but he declared a count-out. Count-out? How many other countless TNA matches have followed the same formula and been given a 20, 40, 120 count? Such a cop-out finish. The brawl continued to the trailer area on the outskirts of the arena. Ray was bleeding heavily, then Ray threw Angle into the side of the trailer. Security tried to intervene as they reached catering, but Ray shoved Angle into a structure.

Ray told Angle that if he didn't have a wife or kids, he would end Angle's life right now. Ray called him a piece of crap as Angle stared back with a glassy look of disbelief. Angle told him to hold on and talk this out. From behind, the Mafia jumped Ray and beat him down to draw more blood. Sting was in a suit while the others were dressed for a fight. Sting stood by watching the action as the Mafia dumped various weapons on Ray's head.

Sting was then shown walking away down the long walk back to the arena area. Ray then tried to run away toward Nash, but Steiner and Angle cut him off and threw him into a dumpster. Booker surveyed the scene while Steiner talked trash while Ray was in the trash. Ray was shown out cold on a pile of trash as they closed the show. Angle said nobody messed with the Main Event Mafia.

WINNER: Double count-out in 6:00. Intense show-closing angle to re-establish Mafia's dominance after a big tease throughout the show. Sting remains the question mark in this, creating intrigue. It's good, but the inconsistency on the application of in-ring rules was ridiculous, as usual. (n/a)

We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for an "Impact Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Impact, click here.

[Christopher Daniels (a/k/a Curry Man) photo credit Wade Keller (c) PWTorch]

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