By James Caldwell, PWTorch columnist

TNA Impact on Spike TV
December 4, 2008
Taped Nov. 25 in Orlando, Fla.
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist

We start with Team 3D in the locker room trying to give a pep talk to the Frontline. Brother Ray took up the entire camera space, leaving only room for Borash's mic, Rhino's ponytail, and ODB's hair. The new revolution begins. Creed, Young, and Lethal then clapped it up like goofs before the Frontline went looking for someone to beat up. Or play video games with.

Impact Zone: The Main Event Mafia came to the ring to start the show. A little chit-chat session as Mike Tenay recapped Team 3D "swerving us all" by joining the Frontline last week. Kevin Nash took the stick first and said Brother Ray got one over on them, which he respects because they're both arrogant, a--holes, and pretty much just worry about themselves. Nash suggested they just brush aside the poor judgment call last week and have 3D come to their senses today.

Team 3D then walked out on stage and Ray took the mic to explain himself. First off, 3D will be the tag partners to Samoa Joe and A.J. Styles at Final Resolution in the eight-way match. Ray didn't do much to talk up the "young guys" here. He merely focused on the Mafia "raping" every single company they worked for in the past. You see, the Mafia "broke the code of the boys" by not busting hump for the fans in the ring. He won't sit there and watch the Mafia take down TNA. Ray then brought out his "boys."

From around the arena, members of the Frontline appeared in the Impact Zone stands to stand in the crowd as reps of the people. Poor Styles and Joe pushed way, way outside of the spotlight. Angle said this is real cute. Rhino then took the mic and said he's sick and tired of listening to Angle. See, at Final Resolution, it's the end of Angle in TNA. As for Sting, he gets a piece of the Gore tonight. Sting feigned going after Rhino, but Angle and Nash held him back.

Backstage: Jeremy Borash and Lauren were with the Beautiful People. Borash proceeded to plug TNA Mobile to get the latest news and such, before giving a scoop that someone will be in Kurt Angle's corner at the PPV. Kip then screamed and shouted that Sarah Palin is here today and Angelina Love will introduce her as the newest member of the Beautiful People. But, first, some business to attend to.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Borash sat down with Booker T and Sharmell to discuss some issues. First off, why aligning with Beautiful People? Second, why facing Samoa Joe in a street fight tonight? Sharmell stepped in to say Booker hired the Beautiful People to protect Sharmell from ODB and her gorilla breath before the PPV. Booker back to the African King accent. Oh boy. Booker said he will defend the Legends Title week after week after week, and he'll beat Joe all over the arena tonight.

1 -- Legends champion BOOKER T (w/Sharmell) vs. SAMOA JOE -- Legends Title match -- Street fight

Tenay and West took us back to Victory Road in July when the Joe vs. Booker main event led to the start of Sting's quest to beat respect into the Frontline. Yes, the worst-ever main event ending to a show I've ever seen live in person. In any event, the action quickly spilled to the floor where Joe nailed a series of chops before they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Back to action where they traded control until Booker caught Joe flush in the face with a leaping leg whip for a two count. Suddenly, we have Sharmell running interference on the apron distracting the ref. Joe ducked the axe kick and slapped on the rear naked choke, which Booker tapped out, but the Beautiful People ran down to ringside and sprayed their spray in Joe's eyes. Joe ran around in the ring covering his eyes, but then he settled right into position for Booker to nail the axe kick for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Booker in 9:00 to retain the Legends Title. Just the usual TNA "main event" TV match with plenty of interference and ref incompetence. (*)

Backstage: Mafia was celebrating the Booker victory while watching the world's tiniest TV monitor. Looked more like a 13" computer screen. Scott Steiner then cut a promo on Team 3D being a bunch of fatasses and they only joined the Frontline because Mafia doesn't have enough twinkies to go around. Steiner lost control of himself and stormed out of the locker room. Nash and Sting followed, then Angle stuck around to give Borash a word on Jeff Jarrett.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Lauren sat down with Samoa Joe, who was covering his head with a towel. Team 3D then barged in and asked Joe if he's going to sit there and sulk or do something. Ray said they're on Joe's side. No big deal he lost a match. It's not about winning or losing a battle, but winning or losing a war. Ray asked what wrestler has ever won every single match. He rhetorically asked Ric Flair how many times he's been World champ. Ray said 16 times, so he lost it 15 times. Wait, so he's still World champ? He said they've been tag champs 20 times, so they've lost it 19 times. They're tag champs too? Ray gave No-Speak-English Joe a pep talk that he's freakin' Samoa Joe, the last of the badass wrestlers in the business. He told him to get himself together and do something about the war.

ODB's talk segment: ODB brought in Roxxi and Taylor Wilde to talk about themselves. Roxxi cussed her way through an intro promo, then Taylor talked about some clothing line. They talked about musical instruments, and ODB was predictable with the skin flute joke. They proceeded to cuss their way through a group effort to take out Beautiful People after ODB talked about it being that time of the month and liking three-on-ones on Wednesday nights. Just a completely trashy segment. As expected.

Backstage: Robert Roode and James Storm invaded Abyss's personal space to have a word with Abyss, who wanted nothing to do with them. So, Abyss shoved Storm up against a box labeled "SPARE LAMPS." We found out Matt Morgan is at the gym "like he always is." Storm then offered Abyss just one drink to bury the hatchet between them prior to their PPV match on Sunday. Abyss referenced the Drunken Clam from Family Guy and Roode excitedly claimed they're great friends with the manager. Abyss apparently lives in a cartoon world. Storm then pulled out a brew from his ice chest and told Abyss to take a shot. He downed a shot, then chugged some beer while spilling all over himself. Abyss said he kind of likes that funny stuff. Apparently he's going to turn into the Drunk Janitor. Abyss then chugged another shot as they cut to break.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: A limo pulled up and a fake Sarah Palin pulled up to greet the Beautiful People. Heavy emphasis on Palin's trademark accent. "Palin" asked if Kip is Joe Six Pack. Velvet then took Sarah on a tour of the Impact Zone. The knock-off Palin was about five inches too short and 15 years too old to play the role.

Hemme Rough Cut: They showed A.J. Styles training Christy Hemme in the ring with Styles saying she's a little rough around the edges, but she's picking up things. And they hugged. How is she going to do against Kong at Final Resolution? Well, that remains to be seen.

2 -- SCOTT STEINER & Knockouts champion AWESOME KONG (w/Raisha Saeed and Rhaka Khan) vs. CHRISTY HEMME & A.J. STYLES

A bit rough early on between Steiner and Styles, then Steiner knocked down Styles with a straight right hand to the face. Styles then ducked a punch and nailed the leaping dropkick that sent Steiner to his corner. Kong then entered the ring and Styles accepted a chop before wanting to punch Kong, but ref Slick Johnson held him back per the rules of man on man only. Styles then knocked Steiner to the floor and he wanted a splash on Steiner, but Kong yanked him down hard on the apron. Back in the ring, Steiner took control as they cut to break.

[Commercial Break]

Back to action where Kong and Hemme battled with Hemme slapping on a chokehold until Steiner tried to get involved. Styles then got involved and knocked Steiner off the apron to the floor before nailing a slingshot plancha. Back in the ring, Kong stalked Hemme to give her a beating. She then turned her attention to Styles and nailed a big splash. Kong tried the Awesomebomb on Hemme, but Hemme slipped out. Styles then helped Hemme get in position for a big tornado DDT on Kong and she connected while Styles held off Steiner to give Hemme the pin on Kong for the win.

WINNERS: Hemme & Styles in 8:00. Fine match to put Hemme in position as a threat to Kong at the PPV. Styles and Steiner didn't seem to fit into the scenario, but it was fine. (*)

Backstage hallway: Borash followed Angle around until he found Mick Foley. Angle said Foley screwed him at Bound for Glory, and if he screws him at Final Resolution, he'll make sure Foley never walks again. Foley thanked him for the kind words, but said he'll do exactly what Jeff Jarrett asked him to do, which is to make sure the Mafia doesn't interfere in Angle vs. Rhino on Sunday. Angle said he's going to have someone nearby to watch his back just in case. No one from the Mafia. But, Foley, you have been forewarned.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Abyss was sitting down in a chair chugging beers with Beer Money still. Abyss asked about the money in their hands, if it's real. Roode said it's Beer Money! Abyss then wanted a piece of Jacqueline. Roode grabbed Jackie and told her just do it. She reluctantly sat down on Abyss's lap and gave him a tentative kiss. "Does that mean I'm not a virgin anymore?" Abyss asked. Storm said naw, it just means you're in love with a strippa. Ahahahaha. Abyss then pulled in Lauren and said that kiss didn't mean anything, so he hopes that doesn't change anything between them.

3 -- JIMMY RAVE & SONJAY DUTT (w/So Cal Val) & X Division champion SHEIK ABDUL BASHIR vs. CONSEQUENCES CREED & ERIC YOUNG & JAY LETHAL

Referee Shane is back to refereeing, so the focus of the match was Shane and Bashir, who decided to duck out of the ring and point at Mike Tenay. He asked for a headset. Now. Bashir said he's not in a match with ref Shane or Eric Young because it ain't fair. He said this isn't his time or place. In the ring, the match was set up for Creed's hot tag and house-of-fire entry before he ran into a big boot from Jimmy Rave. Creed then came back on Rave with a fallaway TKO from the fireman's carry position for the pin and the win.

Post-match: Sheik bolted from the broadcast position and attacked Young, but Young fought back on Sheik on the floor. The cameras had a tough time keeping up with the action, then Sheik backed down on the entranceramp to escape Young, who stole the X Division Title and entered the ring to hold it up with Creed and Lethal.

WINNERS: Team Creed in 4:00. Standard X Division throw-it-at-the-wall match before the post-match set up a PPV match. (*)

Feast or Fired promo: Chris Sabin sarcastically talked about how much he loves the Feast or Fired deal. A bunch of grown men in tights fighting over briefcases, he said. Lethal said he's looking forward to walking out with it all. Jimmy Rave tried to be serious saying it's worth it. Shelley said if he loses, he'll probably have to start dressing like Mick Foley.

Backstage: Borash was sitting down with Sting, who was dressed in the make-up and wrestling gear now. Borash painted a very bleak picture of Sting's life right now, so Sting said he does have a lot going on in his life right now, which is why he went so far out on a limb with A.J. Styles and his dad last week. Sting couldn't even talk about it. About Final Resolution and tonight, Sting said people are going to see how a family functions.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Beautiful People were still giving the fake Palin a tour of their locker room, actually the Booker T locker room. Palin said she can see Russia from her house. Booker and Sharmell then walked in and Booker demanded to know why these people were in his crib. Booker asked the ladies to leave for a second while he has a word with Kip. Booker told Kip to get the bimbos out of his locker room. Kip turned and shooed them out. Mike Tenay: "If Cute Kip is the voice of reason, then we're all in trouble."

LAX Rough Cut: Hernandez and Homicide talked about being role models for Hispanic fans with someone representing them on U.S. TV. Homicide said they went to the U.K. and people were dressing like them in London. Homicide's friend said LAX is real, bro, because they aren't just living a gimmick. Put your mind to being a firefighter, cop, or whatever because they made it on TV as a big-time tag team champion. Homicide said always be humble and never forget where you came from. Hernandez said they want to be known as the best Hispanic tag team ever.

Backstage: Abyss was still having a party with Beer Money. Suddenly, Abyss's phone started ringing, then Abyss tried to clean himself up to answer the phone. He lovingly told his "brother" he couldn't wait to see him. Abyss hung up the phone and said it was Matt Morgan. Abyss suggested they let Morgan join them for the party. Storm said, unfortunately, they're out of beer. George then snuck up behind Lenny and smashed him with a beer bottle. (There's your Of Mice and Men reference.) Roode and Storm beat down on a drunk Abyss and said he won't even make it to Final Resolution to challenge for the belts.

Impact Zone: Kurt Angle came to the ring ready to talk. More of what Hulk Hogan said with the Mafia being like a tail-end NWO with a whole lot of talking and not a lot of wrestling. Angle told Jeff Jarrett come out and chat. He told Jarrett to enjoy himself tonight. That's it. Well, wait there's more. Angle told everyone to enjoy this possibly being the last Impact he's on tonight. Because the more everyone celebrates, the more focused he becomes. It's a sick, twisted, demented focus, though. He eats, sleeps, and s---- wrestling. Angle is more focused on Jarrett than he has on anything his entire life.

More history from Angle as he talked about signing with TNA two years ago and butting heads all the way. It's on 'net and in the papers, Jeff. No secret. Back then, Jarrett was on his way out and he was on his way up, so he realized Jarrett was jealous of his success. Not only that, but he dodged him every step of the way so he would never have to get in the ring with him. Once he's done with Rhino at the PPV, he'll get Jarrett at Genesis where he has no remorse for Jarrett's family situation with his kids missing their mom. Angle vowed to own Jarrett and this company when he's done with Jarrett. He's so out of control and he has no idea what he's going to do when he gets in the ring with him. Whatcha gonna do, brother?

Jarrett finally answered that if Angle thinks he's going to take his career, his company, and his family, then he's going to have to do it over his dead body. Angle smirked, then they had a staredown to close the segment.

Backstage: Lauren was with Rhino. We found out from the graphic that Rhino vs. Sting is up in seven minutes. Rhino said he just heard every word of what Angle said to Jarrett. And he kept thinking of his own family and daughters. Rhino said when Angle drags family into it, you've crossed the line. That's it! We now know what Cross the Line means. It means dragging personal and family issues into wrestling storylines. Ah, that makes perfect sense now. Rhino said Angle "broke the code of the boys" and he'll take out Sting tonight.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Borash was with the Frontline. A.J. Styles cut a promo with Team 3D while Samoa Joe stood silently over his shoulder sporting sunglasses. Styles name-dropped Christopher Daniels to again drop hints for his return. Styles said never in a million years did he think they'd be on the same side as Team 3D. This isn't about respect, he said. Styles said they're going to take the torch from Sting if he won't pass it. He vowed to walk out of Final Resolution with the TNA Title. Borash turned to Joe, who said that's all there is to say.

4 -- TNA World Hvt. champion STING vs. RHINO -- non-title match

The action predictably moved to the floor in the opening minute, then Rhino wanted a Gore into the guardrail, but Sting moved and Rhino ate the guardrail head-first. He then came up bleeding from the forehead with a glazed-over look in his eyes as they cut to break.

[Commercial Break]

Back from break, Rhino and Sting traded control until Kurt Angle stormed ringside to cheer on Sting. A.J. Styles then came down to ringside to take a closer look at the action in Rhino's corner. Angle jumped on the apron, but Rhino knocked him off. Rhino then backed into a clothesline from Rhino. Sting had the Scorpion on Rhino, but Angle and Styles battled on the floor to distract Sting. Sting then turned around and took the Gore from Rhino and Rhino made the pin for the win. Afterward, Angle put his hands on his head and told Sting he's sorry, man. Frontline then celebrated with a blood-soaked Rhino to close the show.

WINNER: Rhino in 6:00. Well, more seeds planted for dissension in the Mafia involving Sting, as Angle essentially cost him the match there. Match wasn't much; just the typical TNA fare leading to a PPV with tons of people involved and plenty of interference. (*)

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