By Wade Keller, Torch editor

KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT
NOVEMBER 28, 2008
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.

[Q1]

-Mike Tenay and Don West introduced the show as pryo blasted in the arena. West said they'd have the second annual Turkey Bowl later.

-Rhino led A.J. Styles, Samoa Joe, Eric Young, Consequences Creed, Jay Lethal, ODB, and (trailing behind) The Motor City Machine Guns. Rhino said he hoped everyone didn't mind, but he came up with a name for their group: TNA Frontline. That's fine. He said, "When you're a soldier, you want to be on that front line. When you're fighting for a cause you believe in, you will do anything to succeed." Rhino talked about bleeding over a decade ago to build a company and people respected them for it. He said he'll go to war for a company he believes in, just as the fans do. The fans cheered. He asked if they'd go to war with them. The fans cheered. He walked into the crowd and said, "We will fight!"

Back in the ring Rhino vowed to beat Kurt Angle and rid TNA of him. He said it's up to Joe and Styles to get rid of the rest of the Main Event Mafia. Rhino suggested that, "no offense to any of the guys in the ring, but I don't think you have the experience." He said they're going to add more members to Front Line and they'll become "an army, not just a force."

The MEM music played. Angle asked Rhino if he was that delusional. He said he will destroy him at Final Resolution just so he can get his hands on Jarrett at Genesis. He asked him who he is trying to recruit. He said, "I heard the Front Line likes it in the back door." Ugh. He said anybody with half a brain is standing with him. He said everybody loves the MEM. He said: "Rhino, tell me you're not as stupid as you look." He said if he doesn't leave the Front Line, he will end up in a body bag with his cronies. Rhino said his answer is: "You can kiss my (bleep)." I think he said "feet." Rhino said he has a war and he will rip him in half with a "Gore! Gore! Gore!" Tenay wondered who he has in mind to join the Front Line.

[Commercial Break]

[Q2]

-Borash interviewed Angle backstage regarding his match against Rhino. Borash said he just heard that Jeff Jarrett assigned Mick Foley to be the special enforcer referee for his match.

1 -- SONJAY DUTT (w/So Cal Val) vs. HERNANDEZ vs. RHINO -- Turkey Match Qualifier

Val got a slutty makeover to look more heelish and less wholesome. Rhino finished Dutt with a Gore.

WINNER: Rhino in 3:00.

-A "Cross the Line" video feature aired on Jeff Jarrett for some reason.

-Angle confronted Jarrett backstage, with Borash holding a mic for them. Angle asked where Jarrett's balls are. They can say "balls" on air, but not "ass." Jarrett said he wants the Angle-Rhino fight to be fair, between just them. Foley will make sure that's what happens. Angle said he will crush Rhino so they can fight at Genesis. He said he won't need the MEM there to help him, but he will have somebody watching his back just to keep an eye on "your favorite stockholder, Mick Foley."

[Commercial Break]

-Styles chased down Rhino backstage, asking how he can trust them. Rhino said if he can, they can. Then "they" were revealed to be Team 3D as they walked into their locker room. Devon and Ray were talking about sexual conquests. Ray asked, "What? We don't knock anymore?" Ray sarcastically said he heard his General Patton speech out there and it was only a matter of time before they came to see them. Styles said, "Screw this! Screw you guys." Devon called him back and said if he leaves, he's going to his own funeral. Devon said the sides aren't even, like the Detroit Lions facing the New York Giants. He said if they want to leave, don't let the door hit them on the way out. Rhino played mediator. He told Ray that those guys are in the same place they were 13 years ago. After Rhino tried to talk them into seeing things their way, Ray applauded, but then asked what's in it for them. Joe said there's nothing in it for them. "For once in your lives, why don't you do what's right?" Joe said. He demanded their answer by the end of the night. Ray said that's just an example of a lack of respect they're shown.

[Q3]

2 -- CONSEQUENCES CREED vs. CUTE KIP vs. ALEX SHELLEY - Turkey Match Qualifier

As Creed came out, West and Tenay raved about his enthusiasm and positive attitude. Shelley won with a leverage pin on Creed. Let's see. Creed is one of the members of the Front Line top babyface group who needs a real credibility boost since he's so new, whereas Kip is a silly comedy act that's aging out of a roster spot sooner than later, but he gets exempt from doing the job. Why? Because ten years ago he meant something, or because since 1998 he's been a huge disappointment in every situation he's been put in and failed to get over?

WINNER: Shelley in 4:00.

-Lauren interviewed The Beautiful People backstage. Velvet Sky told Lauren: "Your butter face is working overtime, your breath stinks, and you completely smell like onions." Sky said they have two problems: Cute Kip just got screwed and why are they not on Final Resolution? She asked for an explanation. A worker handed a sheet of paper to Angelina Love. She read it and jumped up in excitement. She read the note aloud. It was supposedly Sarah Palin accepting their offer, but she can't make their PPV, "Final Constitution," because she has a moose hunt to go on, but she'll be on Impact next week. They celebrated. Sharmell walked in and said Booker wants to see them right now.

[Commercial Break]

-Jarrett told Rhino in his office that he appreciates what he's trying to do "for these kids," but he needs to stay focused on Angle. He said it's vital for the future of TNA. Rhino said he hears him and he won't let him down.

-Tenay and West were shown on camera. They hyped the Team 3D situation.

-Another Rough Cut aired on LAX. Homicide talked about meeting Hernandez and hitting it off right away. Hernandez said they're like brothers. They took turns complimenting each other.

[Q3]

-Tenay threw to Lauren backstage who approached Team 3D in their locker room. She asked if they made up their mind. Team 3D said nobody gives them an ultimatum. He said they do know where Styles and Joe are coming from because they know what it's like to be down there and build themselves up. He said they did that in ECW. He said this is a business and they have to tend to business first. Scott Steiner walked in and said if they want to talk business, let's talk business. He said they have an offer for them they can't refuse. Ray said they'll listen. He called on Devon to follow him to the MEM locker room.

[Commercial Break]

-Traci asked Christy backstage if she has forgotten what "she" did to her. Christy said she's spent the last few months training as hard as she can with A.J. to get ready. Traci said Kong has been training since the day she was born and she's "an animal." Christy said he'll outwork anyone. Traci gave in and asked her if she'd be ready in 15 minutes. Christy said yes. Traci said if she can beat Saeed tonight, she can gave Kong at Final Resolution. Christy hugged her excitedly. Traci said she has to run this by Jim Cornette to finalize it.

3 -- JIMMY RAVE vs. SHEIK ABDUL BASHIR vs. MATT MORGAN - Turkey Match Qualifier

Tenay talked about "The Governor" coming to Impact next week. They wouldn't say "Alaska Governor" or "Palin," or that'd cross into blatant false advertising instead of innocent playful deception. After working together early, Bashir put a sleeper on Rave. Morga gave both a fallaway slam, then began yelling like Goldberg as he annoyingly does after almost every one of his big moves (and sometimes small moves). He gave Rave a big boot, but Bashir ducked a big boot from Morgan, who flew over the top rope to the floor. Bashir gave Rave a WMDDT finisher for the win. Referee Shane Sewell was hesitant to raise Bashir's arm afterward.

WINNER: Bashir in 3:00. It's sadly amazing to see a heel win a match without breaking rules or interference.

-Kip and the Beautiful People approached Sharmell and Booker T in their locker room. Kip said tonight the BPs will watch Sharmell's back between now and Final Resolution. Kip said they don't come cheap. Booker asked what they want because he's a very wealthy man. Love proposed that if they help Sharmell win a Final Resolution, they get their locker room. Booker flipped out into a deep accept and almost speaking in tongue. Kip said that's fine if that doesn't work for them, ODB will destroy Sharmell. Booker stopped him from leaving and agreed to the terms. Sharmell gave Booker heat for agreeing to those terms.

[Q5]

[Commercial Break]

-Look for the second hour rating boost to be less than usual because TNA sloppily post-produced this show to be in mid-commercial break at the top of the hour.

-Borash interviewed Team 3D in the MEM locker room. Angle pitched that Team 3D side with them. Ray said his experience tells him in this business it's every man for himself. Angle said it's different with the MEM, and they get the respect they deserve and the respect they demand. Devon asked where Angle was when they needed them week ago. Angle said they were saving the best for last. He said they're the best. Ray said, "As if you could blow any more smoke up our asses." Angle said it's all about their collective livelihoods. He said don't wait too long. Steiner presented them with MEM suits and told them to put them on to make it official.

4 -- RAIESHA SAEED (w/Rhaka Kahn, Awesome Kong) vs. CHRISTY HEMME

In the end, Christy went for a flying legdrop, but missed. Saeed lifted her for a powerbomb, but Christy rolled through for the leverage pin. Kong beat up Christy in the midst of her celebration. Khan joined in, but Christy slid under the bottom rope and retreated to the back.

WINNER: Christy Hemme in 4:00.

[Commercial Break]

[Q6]

-Tenay hosted a sitdown interview with Styles, a format that almost always bombs in the ratings. Styles talked up Rhino's credentials. He said he thinks Rhino can lead them in the right direction. Tenay asked about dissension in the ranks of the TNA Originals, which is what Styles called their group, even though their supposed new name is TNA Front Line. Tenay asked about being kicked out of the house by his dad at age 13. Styles said his dad came home drunk, wanting to fight. He said his mom couldn't take it anymore and she stood up to him. His dad threw her against the wall. He then knocked out his dad. He said he knows his dad loved him, but that night he earned his respect. He said that's why he left. He said he had to make sure his family would be taken care of. He said it was dysfunctional, but his brothers knew something bad came to an end that night. He said that's the real story.

-West told Tenay at ringside this helps them sympathize with Styles now. They threw to Lauren.

-Lauren interviewed Sting and Nash. She asked how Sting feels now that he's heard the truth. Sting said he wants to believe Styles, but a lot of it doesn't add up. Nash said Styles is full of crap. Nash said, "So his dad knuckled him a couple of times. He's a spoiled little brat. I guarantee he had it coming." Sting asked, "What if Styles is right, Kevin?" Nash said their code is honor and theirs is bullsh--. "Screw these kids, man," Nash concluded.

[Q7]

-Lauren asked Shelley about his chance to win $25,000 in the Turkey match. Shelley said, "Maybe buy A.J. Styles a personality. No, not enough money. Maybe we could buy Samoa Joe a singlet? No, you can't buy that much material at once." TNA insists on demeaning their top babyfaces. I don't get it. Shelley then said they could buy Foley a new wardrobe. "Would it kill him to dress like a grown up for once in his life. He looks like the CEO of Bum Fights," he said.

5 -- RHINO vs. SHEIK ABDUL BASHIR vs. ALEX SHELLEY

Borash did ring introductions to give the Turkey Bowl a big match feel. The ref held up the turkey suit the loser must wear. A minute into the match, they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

[Q7]

Back from the break, Bashir set up a top rope move, but Shelley pushed him off into an inverted atomic drop. A rested Rhino nailed Shelley with a Gore for the win.

WINNER: Rhino in 8:00 to win $25,000.

-Afterward, Shelley had to wear a turkey suit because he was pinned. He pushed away. They showed Foley coming to the ring with the big check.

[Commercial Break]

-Foley tried to talk Shelley into wearing the turkey suit. He said he knew the stipulations going into it. Shelley said if he puts on the turkey suit, the women will be upset and the female demo will drop to zero. Foley said he's one of the most talented, dedicated, electrifying young wrestlers he's seen in a long time and he wants him on his show, so if he wants to walk out of the ring without the turkey suit, that's fine with him. He stopped Shelley from leaving and said there's more. He said as of now, he has begun to deal. So if he walks away without the outfit, he will be doing so without his job. A fuming Shelley put on the outfit. Once he got the outfit around his leg, Foley made fun of the size of his giblets, and asked if he was happy to see him. Shelley looked down his pants. Shelley pulled the suit up and the turkey neck and head came right out of his crotch, creating quite a visual. Borash walked up and said, "Good news. They say Gov. Palin is going to be here next week, and we all know what happened there." Shelley said, "There goes my shot with Gov. Palin." He said the only bright side is he might get a good MySpace picture. He flipped the bird to Foley. Foley DDT'd Shelley. Foley's music played. He bent over to the KO'd Shelley and told him to be thankful he still has a job. "Have a nice day," he concluded.

[Q8]

-They showed Samoa Joe and Styles following Rhino to the ring.

[Commercial Break]

-A vignette aired on the masked mysterious Suicide character. This has Glacier written all over it.

-Styles, Joe, and Rhino stood center ring. The MEM then walked out. Angle told Styles, "There you go again, A.J. A young, smug punk making another demand to a veteran." He said if they want Brother Ray and Brother Devon, they got them. He introduced then as the latest members of the MEM. The MEM music played. The crowd booed. And out walked Ray and Devon in the suit. The MEM smiled and applauded. Ray said they gave this a lot of thought. He said they've come to the conclusion that the Main Event Mafia "are right." He said they also came to the conclusion that the Frontline are right. He said both sides have a lot of merit. He said Angle said something to them that struck a nerve and got them thinking. He said Angle is a smart man. He said he Angle told them to think about their future as a team and in "this business." He said the Mafia may grant them their future. He said their legacy is very important to them. He said they are the 20-time World Tag Team Champions and the most decorated team of all time. He wanted to know how they want to be remembered. He said they want to be remembered as one of the greatest teams, "just like the Road Warriors." He said they want to be remembered in the same breath as the Steiner Brothers. And even Harlem Heat. Ray said they want to be remembered as two hard-working guys who always gave it their all and have entertained the people all over the world, a family-man and a father. Two men who helped build one of the most legendary companies of all-time, ECW. "Or, do we want to be remembered as a part of the greatest collection of world champions that has ever walked God's green earth." He said the MEM is now complete because they have the greatest tag team. They are now the Magnificent Seven. He said the Frontline doesn't understand that the Mafia offers power and money and they have brains. He said they're "all about fighting and all guts and all balls." He said he wants to tell them that before the inevitable happens, guts and balls is good, "and if being part of the Front Line is wrong, then I don't want to be right." He opened up his jacket and Styles pulled out a weapon. Team 3D joined Styles, Rhino, and Joe in beating MEM out of the ring. Ray called for a table. Styles and Joe got a table. Tenay said we now know that Team 3D will be the tag partners of Styles & Joe at Final Resolution. They set up a table mid-ring. Sting pulled Angle by his leg out of the ring to safety. The newly strengthened Front Line stood strong together in the ring as the show ended.

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